Bittersweet symphony…

March 27, 2024March 26, 2024 ~ somethinginthewayshemoves

I’ve had a whirlwind of flares of late. As soon as one issue eases another gears up. I’ve been chipping away at some projects very slowly. However, when unable to function these are some of the things that have helped me pass the time.

I got a free trial of Apple TV with my new phone whilst having a scroll and decided to give Ted Lasso a try. I knew that it was about an American coming to manage a football team. I thought it was funny. Other than that I was going in blind. Oh my god! What a show, I’m a wreck. It’s the most emotional thing I have watched in a long time. It is laugh out loud funny, but it also has the most heart wrenching moments. I fell in love with almost all of the characters. It managed to be truly hopeful without swimming in cheese. If you haven’t seen it, you must. Bittersweet and beautiful with a little crazy thrown in for good measure.

Talking of Lasso, the soundtrack is goooood. One of the gems I discovered is Strange by Celeste. It’s one of those songs I can feel. Celeste’s voice is haunting. She perfectly captures the weirdness of human relationships. We go from not knowing someone exists, to being the most important person in their life and sometimes, back to strangers again. It’s painful, but also inevitable. We all change, we grow, not always towards each other. It’s not an original thought, but it is uniquely expressed.

Yoko By Maisie Peters was a Tik Tok find. Someone used the music in a video and I was hooked. I love the idea of miscommunication described this way. I think as a woman we’ve also all met those men who loudly proclaim Yoko is to blame for the breakup of The Beatles. They’re usually of a type. I’m never surprised when more casual misogyny spills forth. Anyway, it’s a song about people misunderstanding each other and ultimately one party not making the effort. All encapsulated in the lines,

You know Yoko never broke up that band, You misunderstood The Beatles…

I’m not ashamed to admit I’d like to have written that couplet.

On a completely different bent, we have the H3 Podcast. As usual I am years slow in the uptake, but I have been enjoying it for the last few weeks. I believe it has been a controversial like. I care not. It’s a free form live podcast. Very funny, the team have a genuine camaraderie & I tend agree with most of their takes. There’s loads of nonsense plus coverage of current events. I love that Ethan is willing to admit his mistakes. Of course you know I’m a sucker for a real family man; which he seems to be. Love me some wife guy vibes.

Finally, my latest read was a winner. This Family by Kate Sawyer takes place at a wedding. The family members and their history are slowly introduced as the day unfolds. Sawyer correctly portrays how complicated family relationships can be. All the little betrayals, annoyances & differing opinions between a group of people bound together for life. I really loved it.

If you enjoy what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Oh Mother…

March 10, 2024 ~ somethinginthewayshemoves

Mother’s Day is always a tricky one for me. I love my Mum, of course I want to celebrate her. I have a lot of wonderful Mums in my life. All of whom deserve to be spoiled. I also feel incredibly fragile.

I’ve put a lot of time and effort into building a protective shell around myself. You can’t live if you wake up everyday confounded by what you have lost. It’s always there, but self preservation is an art you can learn. There are some thoughts that I don’t allow myself to examine. I push them outside of my armour and focus on something else. Unfortunately my shell is not impenetrable. There are dates, memories that crack the surface. Mother’s Day, is obviously one of those occasions.

Mothering Sunday is a trigger in the true sense of the word. It has the power to wreck me. Realistically, that’s not an option. I refuse to ruin a special day for people I love. Still, the whole process is hard. Shopping for gifts is painful. I find myself drawn to things that I’d like to have received. I both love and envy watching my niblings express their love for their Mummies. That bond between mother and child is unique. And oh so special. All of my siblings have children meaning my Mum is also Gran. They love her so much and always want to make/buy things for her too. It’s another little detail that I dreamed of, but won’t live. Each of these pierce holes in my carefully crafted casing.

For me, the solution has been creating a little emotional distance. I pull myself back from the feelings and do what I can to enjoy the day. When I’m alone again, I let myself feel it. What’s the point of this? Just to say that if you are struggling today, I get it. It’s ok to give yourself what you need. Go gentle.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on on Patreon.

Side with the child over the gun…

March 7, 2024March 7, 2024 ~ somethinginthewayshemoves

This month I continue to support the people of Palestine with my charitable donations. I still find it extremely difficult to believe that we are witnessing a genocide happen in real time, ignored by most of our leaders.

Watching the videos coming out of Palestine is unbearable. Palestinians are forced to live this horror, so we cannot turn away. This week I have been inspired by the amazing Robyn Boyle and her work with Gaza Genocide Emergency Committee promoting boycotts. To quote Robyn, a boycott is an easy thing to ask of people because in a sense, you’re only asking that they do nothing. Boycotts are a free and simple way to take action. BDS (Boycott, Divestment & Sanctions) are a great resource on who to boycott, with location specific information. Money talks, where you choose to spend yours can have a huge impact.

We must of course also keep pressure on our politicians. They work for us, public opinion is overwhelmingly in support of a ceasefire. It is incumbent upon us to make that clear.

For my part I have also chosen to donate to UNFPA’s ‘Mama Kit’ campaign. A Mama Kit provides essentials for women with newborns in areas affected by natural disasters and conflicts. Gaza is currently severely lacking in food, clean water and medical supplies. One of these kits really could mean the difference between life and death.

Mad Woman…

March 3, 2024March 3, 2024 ~ somethinginthewayshemoves

As predicted last week’s level of activity resulted in this week’s inactivity. I’ve been sore and exhausted. Tedious, but expected. The thing that has really been bothering me is my foul mood.

I’m extremely pissed off. Don’t ask me why because I have no idea. No one has done anything egregious. I have experienced no great wrong. Yet, each day I wake up feeling grumpier than the last. My baseline emotion is crabby.

The slightest provocation sends my simmering frustration to bubbling over. I lose a page in a book, spill my tea, forget a detail and I’m furious. My wrath is not solely directed inwards, everyone & everything annoys me. For no reason. I know my feelings are unreasonable. Consequently, it is best for me to be where others are not. I doubt all this seclusion is helpful. Turning all this negativity on myself is unlikely to produce much joy.

I’m at a loss for a solution. I’m accustomed to feeling sad or scared, but this aimless anger is uniquely discomforting. I hope it will pass. Perhaps when I’m less fatigued my mood will lift. Maybe the state of the world is getting to me. Or just life itself. Whatever the cause, I do not love it.