A few weeks ago I went on a wee road trip with my sister, Billy & Seb. We set off on Sunday morning in dubious weather to check out Elie. It never fails to surprise me how beautiful Scotlamd is. We drove through glorious scenery, growing more excited as we began to spy glimpses of the sea. I had been craving the sea for a while, something about the endless sky & lapping water at the beach always calms me.
On arrival the unpredictable weather was for once in our favour. The sun shone on our seaside floricks. Seb had an absolute ball meeting lots of new doggie friends & exploring the gentle waves. The two legged members of our party relaxed with a yummy picnic & some chat. We of course also took advantage of our surroundings for a blog shoot.
Dress – Forever21
Duster – New Look
Vest – H&M
If you are a regular reader you will already have heard me complaining about the weather & my health. In case you missed it, I’ll catch you up really quick; it’s cold & I feel crap. These two factors have combined to make me crave slouchy, cosy layers. Obviously I still want to look lovely, lovely & so I have winkled out some bits that fit my brief.
Two Tone Leggings – Etsy (DerangedDesigns916)
Faux Suede Pencil Skirt – Misguided
Checked Shirt – Forever21
Mermaid Leggings – Etsy (kolouri)
Catalope Leggings – Etsy (SimkaSol)
Pink Lace Ups – Irregular Choice
Yellow Dress – Dorothy Perkins
Lace Cardi – Dorothy Perkins
I’m very keen to swathe myself in tactile fabrics that feel friendly against the skin. I’m also going for stretchy unrestrictive pieces to soothe my poor sore body & vibrant, quirky prints to maintain my nifty aura. In short, leggings, tunic, cardi’s & flats are what I’m gonna be rocking.
Midi Skater – Misguided
Red Checked Shirt – Forever21
Leggings – Etsy (Bartinki)
Cardigan – Monsoon
Flamingo Flats – Irregular Choice
Leggings – Etsy (HelloMinky)
Denim Shirt Dress – AsosCurve
On Sunday I embarked on a wee visit to see my Mum, which descended into a mad wild goose chase. Much frustration & losing of tempers later we rescued the day with lingerie shopping & cake.
It goes without saying that we also found time for a little blog shoot. I was tempted out into the wind by this bed of pretty flowers. I’ve become a bit of a wild flower devotee. Not only do I love their, well, wild beauty, the are a life source for our bees. If you weren’t aware, our bees are in danger & we really need them. 90% of vegetable crops depend on bee pollination. Those fuzzy bellied little guys are very useful. So, if you have a place to do so, plant some wild flowers.
Anyway, after my own little detour, I will get back on point. I threw together a couple of items that were meant to see me through the a long hot summer, but actually require leggings & cardi to be wearable. In Scotland we work with what we’ve got.
I’m glad this sheer shirt works with layers as I love it. It’s nice to know I can get some wear out of it as the seasons change.
Shirt – Forever21
Leggings – M&S
Vest – Primark
Cardi – H&M
I want to talk to you about something that isn’t often discussed. In a world where almost nothing is taboo miscarriage remains an uncomfortable topic. I know from personal experience that friends and family are often unsure how to approach such a loss. A misplaced belief that a mother’s (&her partner’s) privacy must be maintained or worry that bringing up the subject will cause distress can leave a grieving parent feeling isolated. I’d like to open up the subject, share my experience & hopefully change your thoughts on how best to support a friend who has suffered a miscarriage.
I cannot stress enough how important it is to acknowledge a person’s loss. Miscarriage feels like a death, you have lost a life that you created & have already given your heart to. Let your loved one feel that pain out in the open. Treat this grief as you would any other. Send flowers, a sympathy card, be available to listen. Acknowledge that the child who hasn’t made it into our world is real. To feel that those around you care for not only you, but your unborn child is a crucial part of the healing process.
There is no rule book for recovering from miscarriage. Some people need to throw themselves into work or a busy social schedule. Others may require time alone to process what has happened. There is no right way, listen to what your friend tells you they want & support them. Whether that is getting raucously drunk or cuddling them whilst they cry. There are so many complicated emotions attached to losing a child. I felt a crippling guilt. I know others who have felt rage & some people who accepted the loss as part of their path or an act of god. There is no correct way to feel. As irrational as these responses may seem to you, let your friend feel what they feel. Listen, reassure, but never judge. Each person knows what is appropriate for them, respect that.
Miscarriage is a life changing event. Conceiving again does not wipe out the loss. Your unborn baby can’t be replaced. For me a permanent memorial was necessary. Many people need to commemorate their baby. Be it tattoos, planting a tree or a gathering do not shy away from involvment in these acts of love. Allow you friend to carry their child with them.
Don’t assume that miscarriage is best kept secret. In the immediate aftermath & in the years that have followed, I have wanted to talk about my experiences with miscarriage. Sadly, I haven’t always felt that I was allowed to do so. My loss was treated as something that must remain private. Whilst I am sure this attitude was well meaning, it left me unable to express emotions that I felt suffocated by. If your friend, family member, colleague or even a stranger on a bus wants to talk about their miscarriage, please let them. You cannot imagine how freeing it is to let out the tumult of thoughts in your head.
Miscarriage is not a rare occurrence. Many women will have to find their route through its consequences. This post is based on my personal experience & the consensus of the many women I have known who have had the misfortune to share that experience. Of course there will be parents who have differing views. I can’t speak for everyone. Ultimately you must trust that each indivdual knows what they need & follow their lead. However, I do hope that some what I have written has given you pause for thought. Moreover it’s my wish that my suggestions will ease this painful journey for others.