My week in pictures…

I am currently an utterly exhausted mess, but for once it’s for good reasons. Last week was busy & wonderful. Comprised of friends, little ones & spontaneous fun. Plus some stunning sights. I have been snapping away like crazy. 

After many calendar conflicts I finally got through to Musselburgh to see friends. Lisa has been enducing hilarity & giving me heart warming hugs for over ten years now. She now comes with the added bonuses of a lovely husband & beautiful son. It doesn’t do any harm that she lives minutes away from this most amazing beaches either. Anyway, I always have the best time when I visit & this trip was no different. 

We went to the most picturesque village for lunch. It had a very Austen vibe & the tea shop served me a delicious vegan sandwich, top marks. Next stop was the perfect beach at Tynningham. Accessed by a short walk through a scenic forresr, I fell in love the moment I saw the sea. Once little James had terrified me with a crab a shell, we settled on a rock to watch the tide come in. I don’t know why, but the sea always soothes me. I left the sunny east coast feeling revitilised & full of love. 

I caught up with my bestie & got to hear all her latest pregnancy news. I also got a wee feel of her bump. I am bursting to meet her little one. I already have so many fun ideas for when this bundle arrives. 

I finished up the week chilling with the toy boy. Or trying to chill until he marched me all over town, I made the worst sushi in the history of the world & we embarked on a spontaneous day at The Fringe.


Highlights of our flying festival visit were Suky Goodfellow’s spoken word show, Political Acid Trip. She blew me away. Her fringe run is finished, but check her Facebook for more events. You will not be disappointed. 


Last stop was high above Princes Street. After years of wanting to take a ride on the Giant Wheel, I finally made it. It exceeded expectations. The views up there are startling. ​​

Words are flowing…

Words have always been my religion. Wether my love of the beauty you can create with words made me a writer or what I could say when I wrote made me love words is my own personal chicken & egg. Regardless, the fact remains, I worship words. In that adoration lies a certain obsession; from worrying over a sentence for an hour to finding affinity in a someone  else’s perfect phrase. Which, is exactly what I want to tell you about. 

In the past week I’ve come across two such phrases that at different points in my life seemed made for me. Across the Universe is one of The Beatles songs I immersed myself in as a teen. I still love it, but the words have become so familiar that they often just wash over me. Well, on bus last week for some reason I was really listening. When I reached the chorus, one line flooded me with feeelings from times gone:

‘Nothing’s gonna change my world’ 

I vividly recalled being 15 & completely believing that nothing could shake me. I had at that point lived a charmed life. A life of love & safety & competence that had formed a girl confident she could take on the world. And win. 

I look back on that version of me with such mixed feelings. I’m proud of her; she was the weird girl that managed to be popular. The smart girl that partied. Even at 15 she knew her convictions mattered & those who felt threatened by that could fuck off. It takes a specfic kind of teenage courage to own that you are different & to celebrate it. Oh, the plans she had. It never once occurred to her that anything could knock her down. 

I’m welling up writing this because I know what happened next. It took years of therapy, but I can finally feel compassion for that cocksure girl that fucked it all up. Now, after years blame, I want to protect her. A story of my history & evolution in 5 words. 

A few days later, in a fit of insomnia, I was flicking through tv channels & found Girl Interrupted. The first time I saw this the description of suicidal thoughts clicked. 

‘Once you’ve posed that question, it won’t go away’

I hadn’t heard anyone else voice this cold fact before, but it was true. Once I had seriously considered suicide, it never really went away. Killing myself became the solution to every problem. So many of Susanna Kaysen’s words rang true. Hearing my terrifying feelings expresssed out loud somehow justified my pain. 

All I ever heard about suicide or self harm was don’t do it. People often talk in well meaning platitudes. They’ll tell you that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Life will get better, they insist. It’s all meaningless. When you are in that hole, getting out doesn’t seem possible. More over, even if you believe that someday, you might be happier, it does nothing to assuage your current pain. Severe depression is torturous. There is a comfort in knowing an escape hatch exists. For a long time the knowledge that if I couldn’t take anymore of life I didn’t have to was the one thing that kept me alive. 

Watching that film again brought back those dark times. More than that, Kaysen’s words brought a sense of peace. In my suicidal days, having my daily struggle with those thoughts acknowledged was powerful. Now, realising that suicide is no longer my default trouble shooter is compelling. 

Sometimes it takes a glance at the past to see how far I’ve come. I know those feelings can return. Which is why these words still resonate. Another example of a handful of words spelling out the story of life. 

Everybody wants to be a cat…

I had a lunch date with my Mum & sis on Saturday, which seemed liked a good opportunity for an over due outfit post. It turned out to be a day of surprises, but very nice ones.

Anyway, back to the fashion. I combined my love of cats with my fondness  for swing skirts & donned this kitch beauty. 



Skirt – Lindy Bop

Vest – Forever21

Cardi – John Lewis 

Necklace – Gift

It wouldn’t be a ly outfit without an injection of colour, a box my Pom poms perfectly ticked. Oh & my eye make up helped too.



The food was yum, the news was good & my mum even treated me to a colourful new skirt. Saturday win.

I ain’t buying it…

I was planning a wish list post when it dawned on me that I had already procured most of the things I had been wishing for. It has been an accidentally/couldn’t help myself spendy few weeks. So, instead I thought I’d knock up a list of the over hyped things that I just don’t want. The things blogs & insta are packed with that I just can’t get excited about. 

I am totally used to being the odd one out, but I’m thinking there must be even one other person out there as puzzled as I am. 

1. Highlighter for yourVulva 

The Perfect V is a company who make beauty products for your vulva. Their line includes, yes, highligter. Listen to me, your genitals do not need make up. Nor does your vulva require exfoliation rejuvenating serums or specialised cleansers. Your bits look exactly as the should. Please do not succumb to this internalised misogyny. Shades of V is a £35 yeast infection. Your lily does not need gilded. 

2. Urban Decay Heat Palette

I’ve never been a massive make up girl. Don’t get me wrong I love my slap, but I don’t wear it everyday. In fact, most days I wear none at all. So, new make up releases do not generally excite me. However, the hype on this palette was massive. Everyone was talking about it before it was released & i’m still seeing exhilarated blogs, weeks later. Here’s the thing, it is a collection of warm neutral eyeshadows.  You know, like almost every other palette you see these days. Is there a make up wearing person left on earth who does not already have some shimmery brown eyeshadow? Maybe it’s me, but I don’t get it & I definitely don’t want. 

3. Matcha 

It is in everything & I don’t like it. The tea tastes yuck so I don’t want it in my cakes, ice cream, toothpaste, lip balm or bloody cocktails. Bye matcha. 

4. Bralettes

Suddenly no one wears a bra.  It’s all slivers of lace & whispers of sexy fabric. All prettier than most clothes & encasing beautiful pert breast.  Ok, truth, I only hate bralettes because my tits damn near need the finnieston crane to hold them up. They do sell bralettes for big boobs, but they are LIES & I am BITTER. 


5. Mac, Avon, Nars…

and every other brand that caved to China’s brutal animal testing policies. In case you aren’t aware, china requires products sold there to be tested on animals. For some big name cosmetic companies that means going back on their word to ditch animal testing. Profit is more important than ethics for some brands. As far as I’m concerned cruelty is for cunts. 


You can find cruelty free alternatives here.

6. Gin

I have a pathological hatred of the stuff & it’s everywhere. A couple of years ago folk cottoned onto how cheap & easy it is to make gin. Then PR people went mental. Now I have to wade through swamps of gin everytime I want a drink. I know it’s being marketed as coolest tipple, but I’m not buying it.