Feminism

Operation BoPo is Go…..

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 7 Comments

I have been distracted lately. I have my taken my attention off the blogging ball, but for good reason. Much of my time has been devoted to launching what I hope will be an amazing organisation. oPeration BoPo is a body positive project designed to empower people to love the skin they’re in. 

The body positive community has changed my life. Discovering plus size bloggers & proponents of self love has allowed to enjoy my body instead of hating it. I really wanted to share that with other people. I looked for a body positive group/project locally and couldn’t found anything that fitted. So, I took a leap of faith and set up my own. oPeration BoPo’s first outing is an art event. The aim is to photograph bodies of all types & use the images for an art exhibit. The hope being that both participants & viewers will find beauty in all the photographs. 

I am a complete novice at all of this, but I have been surprised by own skills & the generosity of so many people. Our photo shoots took place last week with the help of amazing hair, make up & photographers. I have also been stunned & inspired by the models who have volunteered to take part in the project. 



It was incredible to see our models step in front of the camera & really feel themselves. You could actually see how powerful the experience was for some; confidence pouring into their stance. I have had amazing feedback from participants. It is truly beautiful to see my dream of spreading body positivity actually happening. 


Our first exhibit will be at Glad Rags, an amazing non profit thrift store. Our ethos happily met. The lovely managers, Bee & Ashley have not only styled some models with their fabulous stock, but have also modelled. The body positive art event opens on Oct 20th at 7.30pm. There will be gift bags, cakes & even some punch. All are welcome. 


My hope is to continue with oPeration BoPo. I want to create more projects that allow people to see their bodies in a positive light. I’d also really like to reach diverse groups especially those who would particularly benefit from the self love message. If you are local (I’m based in Glasgow) and would like to get involved please get in touch! 

Now for the money bit. Although professionals have very kindly donated their time there are still many costs. oPeration BoPo is not for profit and there is no cost to anyone who participates. If you would like to help me grow the body positive revolution, you can donate here:

GoFundMe – oPeration BoPo
Stay tuned because oPeration BoPo is go!

I’m glad all over…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 9 Comments

On Saturday night I hit the town with my mum for some fashion fun. We had snapped up tickets for the coolest sartorial event; the Glad Rags Fashion Show.

The event showcases both what amazing stock they have a Glad Rags & how versatile thrift items can be. This year’s event had an emphasis on body positivity & embracing our differences. The models gracing the catwalk were all Glad Rags volunteers & each embodied beauty in their own way. 

The show itself was split into four sections. The first half focused on the store’s best donations. With a variety of designer names & vintage finds. My favourite was an amazing black velvet dress adorned with a sumptuous golf fan. If there was any chance of me fitting in it I would have snapped it up. 


The latter part of the evening included bespoke items upcylced by Glad Rags. This group included an amazing red body con dress which had been given new life with details cut from a vintage 70’s piece. Since I am useless I failed completely in the task of photographing it. Therefore  you will just have to take my word that it was joyous. 

The final section was actually my favourite. Titled, Androgyny the outfits played with combining traditionally male & female pieces on all of the models. Vintage tuxedo trousers belted of corsets were to die for. A floaty Victorian dream of dress was also my bag. 


Lots of the items shown were up for grabs in a silent auction (I managed to win something amazing for a certain sister of mine), but you can still find truly gorgeous bargains in store. I also treated myself to a wee delight from the mini pop up & I can’t wait to get it on. 


I am lover of vintage & 2nd hand and Glad Rags is honestly one of my favourite spots. From badges to ballgowns they always have something wonderful. In addition they have the most amazing ethos; recycling, inclusivity & supporting small  projects. If that wasn’t enough they’re a non profit go co- operative, so not fat cats here.Seriously, just go & fall in love for yourself.
* the delicious orchard cider may have impaired by photographic skills. 
Glad Rags & Glad Cafe can be found at 1006 Pollokshaws rd in Glasgow. 

Don’t patronise me…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 3 Comments

I’m struggling to sleep tonight. My  pain got a little out of control last week & so my dr upped one of my pain meds. It was quite a big leap & my body hasn’t been behaving since.  My mood hasn’t really been behaving either. It took a dive earlier in the week for, I imagine, a combination of reasons. Perhaps feeling so bizarre, or the pain or an upcoming anniversary. Who can say?

On account of the above there have been days when even getting out of bed has been difficult. Yesterday was one those days, everything hurt & I was very foggy from the meds, but things had to be done. Bronan had to be fed. I had to return some important calls & I had to put my bin out to be emptied.  Dragging myself out of bed was a struggle, but I did it. So, up I got, flung on whatever clothes were lying on the bedroom floor, brushed my teeth & completed those tasks as best as I could. I did these not because they would lift my mood. Nor did I do them as part of an ‘action plan’. I didn’t derive any sense of achievement. They needed to be done, so I did them.


Later, I tried to write, but couldn’t concentrate for more than a minute or two. It occurred to me that I hadn’t eaten all day & perhaps something in my stomach might counteract the effect of my medications. My fridge contained some broccoli that had to be used today or it would only be fit for the bin. So, I steamed that broccoli in the micro, poured some boiling water on noodles & flung soy sauce over both. I didn’t cook because it would make me feel that I was worth taking care of. I simply used the ingredients available to feed myself in the quickest manner because otherwise, I would not eat.

I tell you these things not because they are interesting. I certainly don’t mention them because I want applause. I merely draw your attention to these mundane activities as they are the reality of day to day life.
THEY ARE NOT SELF CARE.
Mental health organisations & increasingly, just anyone are constantly spouting the merits of self-care. I am so tired of hearing this bullshit. Everything I do does not have a therapeutic purpose. Mental illness (or for that matter physical) does not define me. I am a single woman living alone. There are always tasks that need taken care of. I take each day as it comes & do as much as I can manage. That’s just survival. In that respect I am no different from anyone else. Obviously my illness can make simple jobs difficult. Things the average person may take for granted come harder to me. That doesn’t change the nature of life. I either keep living to the best of my ability or I lie down and die.

To label each chore or treat self-care is to rob me of my basic humanity. I am no longer a person, but a collection of diagnoses’. Illness becomes my defining feature. I strenuously reject that characterisation. To measure my wellbeing by how many dishes are in my sink is insulting. Similarly, to minimise serious conditions by suggesting a nice dinner will make it all better is also offensive. A cute badge with a star & I took my meds or A childish phrase is not going to brighten my day. 

I live my life as fully as possibly. I enjoy whatever I can and try my best to endure the rest. Doesn’t that sum up most people’s experience? I don’t hear anyone congratulating ‘non-mentals’ or ‘non-spoonies ‘ for continuing to exist, so why are they patronising me?

If my thoughts on this offend you, then just imagine how I feel when several times each day I am confronted with the cult of self care. If it works for you, cool, you do you. However, don’t suggest I have a bath with candles to get over terrifying flashbacks. Don’t tell me to give myself a wee treat to combat searing pain. Most of all don’t belittle me by suggesting my daily drive to survive is ‘self care’. Keep it to yourself, darling or prepare for my wrath. 

I see right through you…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 4 Comments

What do you wear when it hits 30 in Glasgow? Well, if you’re me you go for an entirely sheer maxi dress. And you fucking love it.


I teamed it with this light summery shawl & the only shoes my swollen feet will consider. Then because I am a style fairy I slipped on some jewellery which matched perfectly. 


Dress – Primark

Shawl – Gift

Sandals – Hotter

Bracelt & Ring – Accessorize

I adore this outfit. I felt laid back sexy & incredibly comfortable in the hot weather. I took my see through dress to a movie where we  were frankly terrified for an hour & a half. The Shallows is good, but be prepared to let out the odd scream. 

The mirror has two faces…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 5 Comments

Yesterday I performed a fairly miraculous transformation. I was so impressed with myself that I felt the need to share my handy work. 

I posted the above on Facebook with the caption, left to right & out the door in 40 mins. All of which is true, but there’s so much more I didn’t say. 

What I didn’t mention was how I felt. My head was wobbly yesterday. I am titrating Pregabalin slowly up to recommended dose. This is an issue because every time I up the doseage the side effects come back. Hence, my brain was not that sharp. Along with that my anxiety was troubling me. The thought of going out alone was frightening. I was of course sore; my back & feet are a constant source of pain at the moment. So, basically what I’m saying is the first picture is an accurate representation of how I felt as well as how I looked. 

I worried and procastinated for so long that I only had 40 mins to get ready. I forced myself out the door with the aid of diazepam, earphones & big sunglasses. I still felt exposed. I dreaded anyone talking to me or even getting standing too close. I got lucky with an almost entirely empty bus, but my heart was still pounding as loud as the music in my ears for the entire journey. At every stop I had to force myself not to get off & go home. Every bump in road sent a shudder of pain up my back. I persisted because I’d really like to have a real life. 


I met a dear friend who I feel completely safe with. We had a drinks & I managed to relax to level where I could enjoy myself. The weather was lovely, the company excellent & I passed for an attractive human being. 

I’m smiling in this picture because I was having a lovely time. I was still in pain. I’m always in pain. I say that not for pity, but as a fact. For my one evening’s entertainment I’ll probably require two days of rest. Today I am suffering. 


My point is that invisible illnesses are often attacked as not genuine & the weapon used can be anything sufferers manage to do. 

You can’t be that ill if you can work.

You can’t be so ill if you can go out.

You can’t be in pain if you excerise.

You can’t be depressed if you can put make up on.

And on & on & on.

I’m offering myself as an example. Some days are good, but I never feel ‘normal’. There is always pain & anxiety. There are nightmares & flashbacks & urges to butcher my flesh. There are days when I can’t get out of bed & nights of no sleep at all. It’s shit to have to push & push to accomplish everything. We (spoonies) have no alternative, if we want to build a fulfilling life, we have to fight. Wether we’re fighting to wash some dishes or to have some fun with friends we don’t need judgmental bullshit to add to our burden. 
Your reward for reading me venting my frustrations is the cutest cat in the world.

My week (ish) in pictures…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 4 Comments

When I reviewed my recent pics it seemed that I have been mostly taking selfies, so get ready to see a lot of me. I have also been galavanting to the beach, petting poodles & admiring my city. There have been rough days & some sparkly days. 

Project Post it is still going strong. I have even had some feedback from folks who’ve found them, which is amazing. My patents are getting into the selfie game, I am both amused & proud. I had an incredibly constructive appointment at the Homeopathic Hospital; spoonies if you have access to alternative medicine go for it. 



Aidan got some longed for bawbags. We will be checking out the Merchant City Festival tomorrow. Watch out for that post. We got Bilbob out in the sun & believe me that is no easy feat. Bronan & I watched some Netflix docs in bed and I have been trying to wear more of my plethora of costume jewellery.


Finding the yumiest vegan snacks is my latest quest. My fav so far is Cleo’s peanut butter cups. Finally, my highlight, plenty of gorgeous nibbling time. Athena has now lost all her front teeth & continuous to be hilarious. Baby Kevin is thriving. He is my beautiful Superbaby. 

On the plus side…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 1 Comment
Fatigue is getting the best of me this week. I am out of spoons, but I don’t want to be out of words on this blog. Hence, I wil be sharing some short pieces I have written for other publications. I hope you find them as absorbing as my usual content.

First up a piece on how body shaming & fat stigma makes plus size infertility an even bigger challenge.

Infertility is heart breaking affair for anyone who wants to have a child. With the NHS now reporting that 1 in 7 couples have difficulty conceiving, infertility is more common that we realise. Thankfully many people in UK will be able to access fertility treatment via the NHS. However, some people are not deemed suitable for treatment. One of the groups who may be denied access are those categorised as clinically obese.

Women with a BMI over 30 are routinely refused fertility treatment. Drs advise them lose weight before they can be referred to a specialist. There are a number of issues with this policy and some are tied in with the way society as a whole views fat people. Let’s begin with index used to measure if a person is obese. Body Mass Index (BMI) has been widely discredited. The index has a number of problems including the fact that BMI does not differentiate between muscle & fat. Hence, people who are fit & have healthy body fat can be classified as obese. Another issue is that BMI does not recognise difference in body shape. It is well established that those who carry their weight around the middle (sometimes known as apple shaped) are at much higher risk of health complications than those who carry excess fat around their hips (pear shaped) [1]. Thus women with very different shapes & risk factors can be labelled with the same BMI. Perhaps the biggest failing is that BMI  does not always change with lifestyle alterations. A person may make significant changes to their health without necessarily losing large amounts of weight. Partaking in regular exercise and switching to a balanced (but not calorie focused) diet will have a huge impact on a person’s wellbeing. Sadly, BMI would not recognise these positive changes unless there is also weight loss. This can put women in the position of focusing on how much they weigh rather than how their lifestyle impacts their wellbeing. BMI uses an arbitrary scale to calculate’ health. Since a person’s health can not be determined on their weight alone; it is bound to fail.

Of course, there are also questions to be asked outside the clinical failings of BMI. It is important to note that there is no official policy on women who are under weight. Despite the fact that being ‘too thin’ can have a bigger impact on a woman’s fertility than being ‘too big’. The medical community appear to jump to the conclusion that fat is always bad. A notion that is reflected in society & that causes plus sized women to face wide spread discrimination. It is estimated that half of pregnancies in the UK have obese mothers. Yet studies show that only 5% of admissions to neonatal units and 4% of preterm births could be avoided if all pregnant women had a ‘normal’ BMI at the start of pregnancy [2].The implications is clear, overweight woman are regularly having healthy pregnancies & deliveries. Still the overwhelming message from the medical community is that obese women automatically have  high risk pregnancies.

We must also look at the origins of the BMI scale. It was developed in the 19th century by a Belgian Mathematician. The formula was intended to be used as an easy way to measure populations, not individuals. It was developed for the purposes of statistics not measuring individual health. BMI is not a reliable scientific measure. It is astounding that it is still in use.

The most worrying part of this protocol is that women are often not even referred to a fertility specialist until they capitulate on the weight loss issue. This means that women who have specific medical problems interfering with conception are forced to delay interventions that could solve their problems. The bottom line is that women who are classified as obese get a raw deal. Underlying prejudices seem to be making an already distressing issue much harder of plus size women. Infertility can make women feel powerless and incompetent. When you are fat, those feelings are increased by the prevailing impression that your weight is to blame.

1 Mayo Clinic
2 Public Health England, Maternity obesity and pregnancy outcomes.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

‘Cos it’s raining….

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 1 Comment

I’ve been waiting to do my summer Wishlist for a while. I kept hoping summer would come back.  As it’s now July, i’ve resigned myself to the fact that the sun has left me for good. 

For my Scottish summer picks I’m going for light fabrics that can be easily layered. So, lots of dresses, soft shirts & the occasional piece to fancy things up. I have also slipt in some items that I want for my next Australia trip. Brisbane never lets me down on the heat factor. 


Asos Curve, Club L Lounge.


Club L Lounge, Yours.

Yes, that is a dress with a hood; come to Mama. This season I seem to attracted to neutral & bright tones in equal measures. Fabric wise the concensus is tactile & super soft. 


Forever21, Lindy Bop, Simply Be.


Club L Lounge, Asos Curve, Simply Be. 

I’m loving splits & dip hems. Leggings are of course an essential when it might be really nippy outside. As always I will be playing with retro & contemporay styles. I have been desperately seeking a pretty bralet that can handle my boobs & I’m hoping this is the one. I’m thinking in Brisbane I can rock this on it’s own & here layer under a sheer shirt. 


Monsoon, Forever21, New Look. 


Irregular Choice, Asos Curve, Asos Curve. 

Florals & hippy chick lace spell out summer to me. I really can’t wait to get to Oz to float around with my Muffin in these. 


M&S, Alice & You. 


Simply Be, Forever21. 


Asos Curve, Club L Lounge.


New Look, Asos Curve, Converse.

Yellow converse will add a pop to any outfit. As will the caged bra lingerie. I love the bondage light look, it’s always fun when your underwear can double as outerwear!

There you have it. My most desired items for this summer. Now it’s time to get buying. Look out for which pieces make it into my body. 

Oh & I have a new pink lipstick & a pretty rose gold nose ring. Aren’t I a lucky girl?

‘Cos every inch of you is perfect….

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 6 Comments

On my way to Dublin last week something happened that not so long ago would have been a massive issue for me. The fact that it didn’t really phase me proved to me how far I’ve come. 

The incident was an airplane seat belt that didn’t fit. This is something that I actually used to fear. A while back every time I boarded a plane I braced myself for the humiliation of being too fat to fit. It turned out to be no big deal. I had a brief moment of panic, my thoughts raced through all the seat belts that had fitted & how big I was then. Then it dawned on me that I didn’t care. It didn’t matter if I was bigger or this particular seat belt was smaller. It just didn’t fit & there was an easy rememdy for that. I asked for an extender & stopped thinking about. 

Until yesterday when it dawned on me what that meant. I wasn’t embarassed to ask for the extender meaning I wasn’t ashamed to acknowledge my fat body. That is incredible. Being a part of the body positivity community has led me to a place where I can genuinely appreciate my body. Once I realised that I started thinking about all the little things that marked real progress. 

It recently occurred to me that I had gained some weight on my bum. The marvellous part was I liked it. I’ve found myself dressing to show off my bigger arse &  I am so chuffed about that. 


Then on Saturday as I was dressing I automatically tucked my top into my skirt. Not a very momentous act except that I spent years of my life ensuring that my top always covered my stomach. I was that person tugging at my clothes to ensure I was hiding flabby bits. Now I just wear what I feel nice in & here’s the kicker, I look better tucked in or in clingy vests. 


Along the same lines whilst out with my sister I asked her to take blog photos. I am usually a pain the arse about pictures. Never happy with who I look, probably because I wasn’t happy with my body. In the past I have ducked out of pictures at big events & special moments, which  I’ve come to regret. So, in recent times I have made a conscious effort to push through my discomfort & mark significant times. I was however still dissatisfied with my appearance in the photographs. This weekend was different. My sister snapped pics of me in various poses & I loved them all. Break through!

The last and probably most obvious symbol of acceptance of myself is how comfortable I am naked. I run about my house in the buff all the time. I look at myself in a full length mirror whilst I dry my hair and I do not feel critical. I have no desire to hide. I notice the parts of my body that look amazing rather than hating my stomach or chubby arms. This carries through to being naked with others. I no longer feel worried about comparisons when changing with female friends. In the same vein I confidently show my body to anyone I get jiggy with. 

This may strike a lot of people as unremarkable, but it’s a life changing shift. Immersing myself in the body positive has helped me alter how I think & feel about my body. I’ve gone from yo yo dieting, disordered eating & choosing clothes to specfically hide ‘problem’ areas to being a woman who no longer believes there are any bad body parts. I like me. I like my curves, my wobbly bits & everything else. Body positivity works. Women supporting & encouraging each other moves mountains. So, I owe a big thank you to all of you who read, comment & create fat friendly content. High five, ladies, we’re changing the world. 

Woman of the Week…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 3 Comments

Picking a woman of the week has never been simpler. In the turmoil of the EU Referendum results only one politician has come out prepared. Nicola Sturgeon is an impressive politician. In a sea of vague non answers, she has a definitive plan. 

  
 Watching the First Minister speak on the steps of Bute House really made me proud to have voted SNP. Not only did she calmly lay out the steps her government would take to maintain European business links & investment in Scotland, but she unequivocally declared immigrants welcome. Her language made it clear that there is no room in Scotland for racism or Xenophobia. 

‘Indeed, I want to take the opportunity this morning to speak directly to citizens of other EU countries living here in Scotland – you remain welcome here, Scotland is your home and your contribution is valued.’
The leaders of the leave campaign are either silent or back tracking on promises. The government has no strategy for negotiating our exit from the EU & both the Tories & Labour seem determined to destroy their parties from within. There is justifiably an air of spreading panic. Nicola Sturgeon has been my sole ray of hope. Her clear & authoritative addresses have reassured me that Scotland, at least, has solid leadership. 

  
I am proud to be governed by such a progressive & passionate woman. I am delighted to belong to a country that has rejected fear & prejudice. I live in hope that Ms Sturgeon will steer our  celtic ship to independence.