Spring Forward….

I wish Spring would hurry along. Not just because I am perpetually freezing, but also because there are crazy cute pieces filling the shops. Here are a few beauties I cannot wait to get on my body.

  
Lavish Alice, Diamondoodles (Etsy), Yours Clothing, Simply Be.

  
Barnes, Asos, AmyBlueIllustration, Simply Be. 

  
Meg Biram, Lindy Bop, Forever21, Feminist Apparell.

  
Primark, Asos Curve, Asos, Lindy Bop. 

As soon as there is the slightest hint of spring in the air I am going to be one chic, flirty babe. 

This is for lovers…

St Valentine’s Day is almost upon us again; love it or loathe it is time to get smoochy. Personally, I fall into the adore it camp. What’s  not to like about a day dedicated to love? oh, I know, some folk think it’s too commercialised and others hate it when they’re single. To those folk I say, relax & feel the love. Be it a celebration of a lover or a friend, Valentine’s is the perfect opportunity to tell someone special how much they mean to you.

There’s no better way to spoil the object of your affections than finding their perfect gift. I like presents to be a bit different, but still sufficiently lovey dovey. With that in mind I have compiled a wee wish list to suit my needs.

  Nipple Tassels – Bluebella, Scratch the World – Not on the High Street, Aftershave – Gant, Feminist Sweets – Feminist Apparel.

  
 Chocolate grenade – Etsy (chocsforchaps), Body bow – Asos, Smartphone Projector – I want one of those, Mini Message in a Bottle – Etsy (cocospots).

 

 

 

 

Woman of the Week…

It occurred to me that I am constantly coming across wonderful women. In all aspects of my life I am repeatedly astounded at the amazing things women are achieving. I also realised that perhaps I am often surprised by how excellent these woman because no one is shouting about them. Well, I think it’s time we start hollering about how fantastic our fellow females truly are. With that in mind I’d like to introduce a new regular feature, Woman of the Week. 

First to be drenched in praise is one of my very favourite tweeters, @stavvers. Going by the twitter handle Another Angry Woman, she is smart, funny & woke. I find myself nodding vigorously to every tweet she crafts. With a reliably intelligent comment on both the major & underreported stories of the day, a strong intersectional feminist view point & a knack for making idiots look ridiculous, she is a must follow.

   

    
   

Her own blog makes excellent reading for anyone of a feminist persuasion. Her writing is a joyous experience; strident, hilarious & covering topics that need to be spoken about. Along with original pieces she does a periodic round of up of interesting things she has read, which are never less than brilliant.

What are you waiting for? Go follow @stavvers now. You won’t regret it.

 

Women of the Year 2015

At this time we’re usually all having a last glance at the old year before forging ahead into the new. We often see best of or most shocking lists and tonnes of folk write their own lists of resolutions. Well, bollocks to the new year, new me trope. I quite like me & so I am summing up 2015 by laying praise at the feet of women who helped me to see that. We can all be better people, but you don’t do it by joining a gym. To quote my dear Mother, all you have to do is keep trying your best. Try to be kind, stay open to learning, say sorry when you’re wrong, seize every opportunity you’re able to, use your talents & always show the people you love how much they mean to you. Those are my ideas on how to be my best self, but everyone is different, you do you. In the mean time, if you need any inspiration, check out these kick arse women.

 

Let’s start with my 2015 musical hero, Sia. I love every note & every word that escapes her mouth. Her consummate ability to express both strength and vulnerability blows me away. Her music is clearly amazing, but what really excites me is her total commitment to doing it her way. From her unique take on keeping a low profile to the, at times, controversial choreography of her videos, it is all marching to her beat.

There has been much discussion about rape culture in the last year. Violence against women has a rising profile thanks to the dedicated work of feminists & professionals in the field. The problem of how universities in America deal with reports of sexual violence has been a topic of outrage. The actions of one student struck me as more courageous than I could ever hope to be. Emma Sulcowizc was raped in her dorm room at Columbia university in 2012 by a fellow student. The university found her attacker not responsible after an enquiry in 2013. Sulcowizc conceived Mattress Performance (Carry That Weight) as an act of endurance performance & conducted it as her thesis during her final year of a visual arts degree. Commencing in September 2014 the work involved carrying a 50lb mattress ( the kind used in uni dorms) everywhere she went on campus. Emma said she would cease the project if her attacker was expelled. That, however did not happen and she carried the mattress until they both graduated in May of last year. On her graduation several other female students helped her carry the mattress across the stage. To have survived not only the heinous crime of rape, but the further violation of her abuser going unpunished takes strength. However to continue with her degree knowing she may see her rapist at any time on campus shows true bravery. Moreover, to face that threat whilst carrying literally a huge weight in order to protest not only her own experience, but that of countless other young women, is beyond powerful. For Emma to open herself up to censure, attack & possible danger to make this statement humbles & emboldens me.

Mhairi Black is a testament to what a person can do when they believe in something passionately. At the age of 20 she became the youngest Member of Parliament since 1832. As if that wasn’t achievement enough her election victory for SNP ousted the Labour Shadow Foreign Secretary, Douglas Alexander. At the time of her election she hadn’t even completed her degree, but went on to earn a First-Class honours degree in Politics from Glasgow University shortly afterwards. Black describes herself as an old fashioned socialist, which is perfectly aligned with my own politics. Her stance on welfare cuts & LBGTQ issues have proved her ethics & her maiden speech in the house was outstanding. As a Scot and an SNP supporter I couldn’t be prouder of this home grown talent. Having met her briefly at my brother’s wedding, I can also attest that she is very patient & lovely when accosted by drunkity fans.

 

My next marvelously outre woman is an all time favourite. Carrie Fisher is everything. Obviously she’s a cult actress, star wars & when harry met sally are in my watch a million times pile. Oh my, but she is so much more. Her writing is incredible. When I first I read one of her books I cried. I felt every emotion, I was awed. No one can write like Carrie Fisher because no one’s mind works like hers. Her words rush off the page is flow into parts of my brain that no other author can reach. Carrie is not only wonderfully eccentric, but also an outspoken advocate on mental illness, ageism & sexism. Her words are direct, but dripping in caustic humour. Last, but not least she made a hilarious appearance in one of my favourite shows, Catastrophe. Let’s face it this Hollywood royalty is the real deal, Carrie Fisher is genius.

Bree Newsome is an outstanding film maker & activist. He film Wake has won numerous awards and been screened at film festivals including Cannes & the Montreal International Black film festival. She has said that her experiences as a black woman working in the horror genre led her to activism. She saw that the space for Black women was so small that it wasn’t possible to advance without activism. In 2015 Newsome came to media attention when she removed the confederate flag flying in the grounds of the South Carolina State House. Removing the flag was no easy feat, she had to climb a 30 foot pole. She was arrested (along with a man police claimed helped her, James Ian Tyson) & charged with defacing monuments on capitol grounds. Within hours of bail being set, the $6000 for both parties was raised by crowd funding. Support for Bree’s actions was huge. The flag’s presence was of course repulsive and a talking point, but her bravery in taking action was inspirational. A lesson to us all that actions speak louder when words. The flag’s permanent removal did not take place until July after a vote that was no doubt forced by the media attention garnered by Bree Newsome’s activism.

My final wonder woman is fast becoming an idol. Luisa Omielan is a stand up comedian whose act is not only hilarious, but also massively uplifting. Her show, Am I right, ladies? is absolutely the best stand up I have ever seen. Her handling of body positivity, slut shaming, mental health & penis desire will not fail to have you screaming with laughter. From the moment I saw her grooving on the stage before the show to watching her grab her belly with delight I was enraptured. Omielan’s message is what I need. Her brand of feminism is what we all need. The joy of Luisa goes beyond her act. Her can do attitude towards everything is impressive; not only crowd funding her dvd, but also packing & posting them herself, acting as her own manager, creating the best social media presence and even funding amazing events. Luisa Omielan, if it’s not too creepy to say, I love you.

 

 

 

 

 

Gonna find out who’s naughty or nice….

I have a confession to make. I open presents. I just can not wait. If you give me a pressie of any description early, I’ll have it opened seconds after you leave. This year I was determined to behave & save all my gifts for the big day. That was until a mystery package arrived & I did what any girl would do; tore it open immediately. I genuinely didn’t realise it was a a Xmas present, but nevertheless I have been naughty again. 

My darling friend Jenna has clearly been reading this blog as nestled inside that package was something I really, really wanted. 

  
This pendant was made for me. Plath is one of literary heroes. I adore her words & let’s face it, these words could have been written about me.  I haven’t taken it off since it arrived. 

Once again I am reminded that my people are the best people. Thank you, Jenna. Big love. 

  

We speak in silence every time our eyes meet…

I have a new project. It’s mainly for my own amusement, but I hope it strikes a chord with some like minded strangers. 

My ‘post it’ project is inspired by the trend of people leaving positive little notes in library books or buses to bring a smile to whoever may come along next. I’ve also been influenced by the new wave of profound graffiti. I do like the sentiment behind the former, but wanted to express something more than just ‘you’re beautiful’ or ‘smile’. So, my little project was born. 

I am writing quotes that speak to me on post it notes & stick them wherever I go. Most of the quotes I select are words that have at one time been meaningful to me. I suppose I am hoping that they might have significance for others too. My other motive is simply that it would please me to find such a thing. Fingers crossed I reach others who feel the same. 

  

It would be utterly fantastic if any of my lovely readers would like to join. Give me a shout if you feel inclined to do so. 

This week I have mostly been…

Spoonie life can be tough. Meds only do so much, which means you have to discover your own coping strategies. 

Music is one of the things that helps me when my symptoms are unmanageable. Specifically, I like to lie in a completely dark room & play loud soothing music. I try to imagine the room flooding with the sound & let it wash over me. Obviously i am attracted to beautiful music, but for me, I’ve always needed lyrics that speak to me too. In particular I gravitate towards songs that express emotions I am wrapped up in. 

All of this leads me to introduce some new content. I hope  to regularly share with you the tunes that are easing my path. 

This last week has been dominated by women. My choices have been perhaps a little sombre, but that also have a dreamy quality. Without further ado, this week I have mostly been listening to,

I have no idea why it has taken me so long to find Laura Marling, but I am so glad I did. I heard this song, Darkness Descends, in a hospital waiting room & had to shazam it. The lyrics seemed designed for me, as though someone had climbed into my head & taken notes. This song is the musical embodiment  of autum. When I listen to this I feel like I’m wandering out in the crisp, fresh chill of a perfect September day & that’s a nice escape from reality. 

  
Next up is a bewitching offering from an old favourite. Firewood by Regina Spector sounds so gentle, but is really a rousing kick in the arse. With chronic illness there are times when life is too hard. In the midst of a flare when you feel horrendous every moment of every day, you can start think it’s just not worth it. Firewood is basically saying I know it hurts, I know it’s impossible, but you’re still breathing & you have to live. Spector manages to articulate this message without being patronising or dismissive. I love it. 

Spanish Harlem is a song I’ve been playing since childhood. It’s a tune that always made me feel bright & breezy. Rebecca Pidgeon’s version takes it to a new level. The tone of her voice & the more floaty arrangement is lush. I also like the gender switch, these words sung by a woman have a much less possessive feel.

This week’s final earwig is Lana Del Rey’s treatment of Once Upon A Dream. I first heard this when I took my niece to see Cinderella & haven’t been able to get it out of my head. The original Disney version is too sickly sweet for me, but Lana’s dark & twisty take gives me all the feels. This song perfectly fits my brief; it allows me to feel totally immersed in the music. 

  

Am I right ladies?!

Ever since I saw a clip on Facebook I have been dying to see Luisa Omielan. If haven’t heard of her, she’s an hilarious feminist , body positive comedian.

My sister & I had an awesome night her show. I can not recommend enough that you go see her. Sge is exactly what I (& I’m sure many others) have been crying out for. A no holds barred, cut the bullshit take on life as a women. You will not only laugh, but leave feeling better about yourself.

  
Skirt – Forever21

T-Shirt – Monsoon

Cardi – Monsoon

To see my favourite comedian I wore my favourite skirt. I am glad velvet has made such a big come back. Rios little skater is just wonderful. I added a little bit of rrraarr with an animal print cardi, which was a gift from my very stylish Mum. 

I was very chuffed to get a selfie with the lady herself at the end of the night. Just look at my smile, that says all you need to know about the show. 
  

I have a full review of ‘ Am I right ladies?!’ in The Swag Guide.

Try to control me boy you’ll get dismissed…

It’s a beautiful day, but I’m crazy sore. I have hospital & Dr appointments that I can’t miss. What I really need is some motivation. I require some banging female voices to spur me on. With my favourite feminist anthems blasting in my ears I can conquer today. I thought perhaps some of you might like an extra spring on your step too.Enjoy.

I’ll start with Not my name by the Ting Tings. It was a huge hit a few years ago & is a great summer tune. For me the stand out line has to be the slow, exasperated ‘ are you calling me darling’. When I listen to that lyric i get the feeling she’s ready to call bullshit. We’ve all been there, it’s cool to hear the feeling expressed in such a funky way. 

No list of feminist songs would be complete without you You don’t own me. I prefer the original by Lesley Gore. This song is so deliciously ahead of it’s time. It’s lyrics are an absolute declaration of female empowerment. This chick will do what she pleases & anyone who doesn’t approve can suck it. 

I’ve always had a fondness for Madonna’s Music album. I think this song is the reason. What it feels like for a girl is an oft overlooked feminist classic. The premise of the song being that it’s acceptable for girls to dress or act like boys because society deems being male a prize. However, it’s humiliating for men to look or be called girlie because being a women is deemed inferior. Message aside the song itself is beautiful. Somber & sultry; Madge at her best. 

My next choices earned a place in my heart for similar reasons. Firstly it should be said that everything by Salt N Pepa is awesome, but this track is particularly dear to me. None of your business is a blistering attack on slut shaming before the phenomena even had a name. I was 13 or 14 when this hit the charts. I attended a catholic school & was surrounded by numerous gender double standards. That a woman should have sexual agency was not a concept I had come across. That females could enjoy fucking for fuckings sake was an idea that was just about dawning on me. Salt n Pepa did me a huge service with their blatant message. In a world where slag banded about by my piers & sex was deemed sinful by educators None of your business was a revelation.

Female sexual pleasure is key in my next anthem too. Charli XCX’s Body of my own is an ode to masturbation. It’s a rare topic in pop, even rarer in relation to women. At 34, I’ve long since discovered the joys of having a wank. I know it’s natural. I know it’s healthy. I know it’s the best the way to work out which buttons you really want pressing. For me this is a catchy pop piece confirming what I’m already sure if. However, I suspect for many teenage girls a song like this will offer much needed reassurance & encouragement. Sadly we still live in a society that makes girls feels embarrassed about enjoying their own bodies. I’m all for a song that says, Hey, you don’t need anyone else. You own your body. Explore it. Love it. 

Destiny’s Child’s Independent women has always been one of those songs that will get my arse on the dance floor. I love everything about it. When it was released I was a student struggling to make ends meet, but doing it all on my own.Three women jubilantly declaring themselves self sufficient was exactly what I needed. Having my hard work affirmed every time I went to a club was bliss. 16yrs later I still depend on me & i wouldn’t have it any other way.

These are just a few songs that make me feel proud to be woman in charge of my life. I’d love to know which tunes make you feel like you can rule the world.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Upgrade Yourself

Recently, something has been getting on my wick. It started a few weeks ago when I overheard some boys talking on a bus. They were discussing their weekend exploits & one boy said that he’d pulled a certain girl. One of his mates said ‘ but, she’s fat’ to which the original lad replied that fat girls let you do anything. Much laughter ensued. Those pathetic fat girls are just so funny. Succumbing to any sexual pressure because no one else might ever want them ha ha ha

Ever since then I’ve been noticing the fat jokes more. Comedians, films, Facebook, they’re everywhere. All basically saying the same thing; fat women are not sexy. People only sleep with us because they’re desperate or for a bet or because we’ll be so incredibly grateful we will forget how to say no.

FUCK THAT

I am sexy. Men (& women) desire me. I am chatted up rather a lot actually. I have dated extensively. Some of the folk I’ve been with were seriously hot and shock horror, they thought I was hot too. 

  

My sex life is fantastic. I have all the agency & choice of my thinner sisters. I have never felt thankful that someone deigned to fuck me. I would have nothing to do with a person who entertained such notions. 

I am smart, passionate,weird & smoking hot. People are attracted to me for all those reasons. I’m a whole person with lots to offer & so are you. I want fat girls to know that your romantic/sexual life will be no different from anyone else’s. Do not let popular culture’s representation of fat get under your skin. You will meet arseholes & sweethearts. They will come on all shapes & sizes. You will have amazing sex & really quite bad sex. People will love you. People will find you utterly beautiful. 

You do not have settle. Do not put up with anyone who makes you feel less than. You deserve love, passion, companionship & fun. Believe me, you will get it. 

Now, take a deep breath & get out there. 

  

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.