Lifestyle

Not Sorry…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

Every now again I use the blog to vent my anger. Well, it’s that time again. The world is brimming over with things to be mad & sad about. These are just a few that I need to get off my chest.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when brands jump on the fat positivity train for their own benefit without actually incorporating real size diversity. The most recent culprit being Marc Jacobs. The advert for the perfume, Perfect is an ode to diversity. It features a wide variety of models including a couple of plus size women. Great right? Well it would be if the Marc Jacobs ready to wear line didn’t stop at a UK16. I doubt either of the models featured in the ad would be able to shop the line.

Also on my mind at the moment is when celebs reveal themselves to be shits & ruin one’s favourites. Brought to mind when I couldn’t sleep & was searching for something soothing to watch. Lewis popped up in one of my streaming apps. I loved Inspector Morse & was delighted when his sergeant returned. However, a once comforting programme is now spoiled by Laurence Fox’s gammon exploits. No matter how lovely Lewis & Hathaway are, I can’t enjoy them without thinking about Fox’s racism, misogyny & all out far right vileness. Other notable examples include anything with Tom Cruise, Mel Gibson’s presence in the Lethal Weapons & of course Gary Barlow destroying my love of Take That.

Finally & most rage inducing is Keir Starmer. From his refusal to support Trade Unions to his abandonment of Palestine, Starmer is a spineless wannabe Tory. Under his leadership Labour is no longer the party of working people. Who thought we would see an ex human rights lawyer turned Labour leader cowardly defend war crimes on national television? Not me. The man is disgusting.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon

Come to the Cabaret…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

This month I am flinging my financial support behind a group that have long had all my other support. Cabaret Against Hate are an LGBTQ+ & ally group who organise counter protests to stand against hate speech in Scotland.

They combat hate with live music, song & dance. Their presence at anti abortion & anti trans protests has had incredibly positive effect. It is essential to provide an opposition to intolerance. It’s equally vital to show support to those impacted by these hideous protests. I would love to be on the front lines with Cabaret, but my disabilities prevent me. Thus I have been sharing & supporting in whatever ways I can.

The group are currently fundraising for a new PA System. Please donate here if you can.

Grown Up Gift Guide…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

We’ve had a look at things the little ones would like to find under the tree. So, of course now it’s time to check out some grown up gifts.

I wanted this one last year & I’m still hoping it might arrive for crimbo ‘23. It’s the Topple and Burn’s festive jumper. This year they have two designs & it is hard to choose between them. If you know any excellent people with correct political opinions, look no further.

Topple and Burn

My next suggestion is inspired by my little sister. She accidentally overpoured & dealt with a hangover the next day. Which led me to believe that a cocktail set with a measuring device would serve her well. I have fallen for this set from Not on the High Street. It has a slightly art deco ish feel and would look lovely on display.

Not on the High Street

Various people have mentioned that fancied doing one of those customised Paint by Numbers and then I saw an ad. The advert confirmed what a cool idea it was and so I may have made some purchases. You can upload any picture and your paint by numbers will be created. Great gift for folks who love to get crafty, but aren’t necessarily blessed with a tonne of artistic talent.

House Art

Pure Barkin describe their wares as weird clothes for weird babes. It’s slow fashion made in Scotland and could not be more up my street. I basically love every single in their shop. They do have brick & mortar shop in the Barras if you prefer to shop in person. If you’re a fan of this blog I feel confident that someone in your life would like to join the Pure Barkin Clique.

Pure Barkin

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

When there’s something strange…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

A little later than usual, but tonight we embarked on our Halloween tradition. My sister & I have been taking the boy to GlasGlow every year since he was born. This years theme was Ghostbusters & we loved it.

Kelvingrove Park & the Botanics are pretty all year round, but with added light show they’re spectacular.

The boy flipped when he saw the stay soft mallow man & ghostbusters car, but he declared the scary pumpkins his favourite part. I was rather taken with the giant mirror ball and of course I enjoyed how flattering the wall of lights is.

This year was much easier for me as they had added way more places to sit as you walk around. They also have ‘glow passes’ that allowed disabled folk to skip queues/take shortcuts as needed. Plus they even had blue badge parking. Tip top job of making the event accessible.

My nephew likes us all to wear skeletons, so my new jumper was perfect. Worn over the comfiest playsuit with tights & cosy tartan coat.

Coat – ASOS Curve Jumper – Curve Soul Playsuit – Simply Be Tights – Snag

I suppose spooky season is now really over. Best kick my Xmas organising up a gear.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Gift guides are go…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

I’m not a let’s start Christmas as soon as Halloween is over type. However, I do have a tonne of folk to shop for. The only way I can get through my list sans breakdown is to start early. So, yeah I am that person who is Xmas shopping in October. My always messy spare room becomes a crazy Santa store room. Thus I give you the first of my gift lists.

The majority of my Xmas gifts are for kids. I am a big proponent of supporting small business & I do buy extras from them. Let’s face it, often little ones want the latest craze toy. My first suggestion ticks that box. Two of niblings went nuts when they saw the advert for the Mega Chomp Shark. It’s basically a remote controlled shark that chases people around. I doubt my sister or bestie will thank me for introducing this chaos to their homes, but what are Aunties for? I cannot wait to be chomped as they will inevitably set their sharks on me.

Next up is slightly calmer and offers educational value. It’s one of those sneaky toys that hides all its skill learning in fun. One of my nephews absolutely loved Geomag. It started when I was very kindly gifted a magnetic set for him to try when he was smaller. He now favours the mechanical range. You can build whole courses with bridges, catapults and more. He is going to flip when he sees the collection I have for him.

*

Strong Girls Club is more in keeping with my usual shop small ethos. I love the story & aim of this brand, namely to empower girls & women. I applaud any effort to bolster confidence and break gender stereotypes in our little ones. Strong Girls have the cutest clothes for kids and Mum’s. If you like a bit of twinning you’ll love them. They also have fabulous games, toys and books all in keeping with their mission.

Last, but not least is Hey Doodle offering fun, reusable colouring mats. They come in a little pouch that makes them perfect for on the go entertainment. Each mat holds hours of doodling & colouring fun and then can be wiped cleaned for next time. I know a pair of toddler twins who are going to love them.

*

* – gifted, but opinions remain my own.

I’d rather be fat and happy…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

About a month ago I made a Tik Tok about wegovy & similar ‘weight loss’ jabs. I had seen a lot of people promoting them, giving advice on how to get them prescribed etc. These positive posts all had notable omissions. I wanted to address the missing information.

I am fully behind bodily autonomy & wouldn’t tell people what to do with their bodies. However, I think it is essential that we have all the information before making medical decisions. It’s impossible to consent to treatment if you aren’t informed of all the risks, side effects and so on.

The current information on medications of this type is that weight loss will be most significant in the first 6months. Loss will peak at 1year and regardless of how long you remain on the drug, you will start to regain after that point. Regaining any weight lost is not only a certainty, it will happen fast. In fact the data shows that the pattern of weight loss & gain is similar to other methods of intentional weight loss. You are likely to regain not only the weight lost, but a little extra on top too.

People who have these injections report many gastric symptoms. Extreme nausea, vomiting & diarrhoea sometimes for weeks or months at a time. For others those side effects never settle. Long term use increases the risk of gallbladder problems & pancreatitis. Both are very painful, the latter can be deadly if not promptly treated. It’s also important to note that these injections have not been licensed for more than 2yrs for use in non diabetics. They have also never been prescribed in such high doses. The truth is there are still many unknowns. What we do know for sure it that these medications have serious risks & promise only short term results.

So, why am I going over all this again? Today I got a notification of a comment on that video. Reading it broke my heart.

I understand that sentiment. I used to feel that way. I’d make jokes about smoking instead of eating; saying as long as I was a thin corpse I didn’t care. I know how painful it is to feel that way. What’s worse is I know that many of the professionals who swore an oath to ‘do no harm’ feel the same way. Fat phobia is so ingrained in the medical profession that Drs recommend harmful meds, diets & surgeries to fat patients. Rushed to market, poorly tested and even known to be ineffective interventions. It matters not, because they’d rather we be sick or even dead than fat.

We deserve better. We should be able to consult our Drs when needed without the dreaded weight loss chat. We are entitled to treatments & procedures without having to first agree to dangerous diets. We are as worthy of respect and compassion as any other patient. And, we can demand it.

There are so many amazing resources to help fat patients deal with medical weight stigma. Two of my favourite fat positive medical folks are Dr Asher Larmie & Dr Joshua Wolrich both have written extensively on the topic. I cannot recommend their work enough.

I also support the anti diet work of :

Gillian Wilson

Vinny Welsby

Fat Women of Colour

Dr Diana Gordon

I too am happy to help if I can. I’m not a medical health professional, but have learned many strategies for dealing with anti fat Drs. I’m always delighted to pass these on.

If Bronan’s belly is cute, so is yours.

If you enjoy my writing you can support me here or on Patreon .

You take the high road…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

This week I took a little trip. My sister treated me for my birthday to an unexpected activity. Yes, folks, I went camping.

Well, I say camping. We had a Kingsize bed, log burner & private bathroom. It’s as close to camping as I will ever get. My sis, her boy & I headed up north to Loch Tay for a couple of nights in a fancy little dome.

Loch Tay Highland Lodges

The setting was beautiful. We had a lot of fun around the camp fire, visited the local beauty spots & even conquered a castle.

Doune Castle

October in Scotland is pretty cold, layers were important. I still wanted to bring my own thing to the outdoors, I decided to give the trip a leopard theme.

Glasses – Where Light

Set off in my leopard print dungees with some added spooky details. Comfy, cosy & very cute.

Dungarees – ASOS Skeleton Top – Boohoo
Brooch – Poesy & Grenadine

Kept to the theme with this long sleeved, tiered dress. My trusty snag tights (also in leopard) & my fluffiest cardigan upped the warmth factor.

Dress – ASOS Cardigan – ASOS

I always love to have uninterrupted Auntie time. Bedtimes stories & sparklers are hard to beat, but inside jokes with my wee sis comes close.

If you enjoy my writing you can support me here or on Patreon

Charity of the Month…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

This month the change in weather & return of anti choice protesters prompted my donations.

If you know me at all you’ll be aware that I am passionately pro-choice. The rise of US style religious harassment outside hospitals & clinics are repugnant. Everyone is entitled to make reproductive decisions for themselves & safely access whatever treatment they require. I am completely in favour of buffer zones to ensure this. You can help make buffer zones law in Scotland by support Back Off Scotland . There are links to write to your Msp, sign their petition & make a donation on their website.

My second consideration was the chill in the air. I can only imagine how horrendous it is to face the Scottish winter without a safe place to call home. Homeless Project Scotland provide vital services including a food bank, soup kitchen & street teams. If you can help, any donation would be wonderful.

You can support both organisations in ways other than monetary. So, please check out the links if you want to help.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Assume…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

The government has launched yet another useless campaign. This time they claim the aim is empowering & dispelling myths about disabled people.

In my opinion Ask Don’t Assume is a big fail. I don’t seem to be alone in that opinion. Many disabled people agree that encouraging the public at large to ask us whatever questions into pop their heads is a terrible idea. The government claim to have done extensive research. According to Minister for Disabled People, Health & Work, Tom Pursglove that ‘extensive research was with 500+ people with lived experience of disability. To be honest I’m surprised they found 500 people who thought this was a good campaign. However, with 6.3 million people currently entitled to disability benefits*, consulting 500 does not qualify as extensive.

One of the problems I encounter as a disabled/chronically ill person is maintaining boundaries. So many strangers don’t think twice of asking personal & invasive questions. Almost every time I leave the house someone will ask ‘what’s wrong with you’. In recent years Tory policies regarding disability benefits have led to more people holding hostile views. Disabled people are often viewed with suspicion, which leads to strangers demanding information from me. People who know nothing about me or my circumstances feel entitled to my private medical information just incase I am somehow ‘scrounging’ benefits. A government campaign with the tagline, Ask Don’t Assume, legitimatises this behaviour.

Further, a lot of the campaign materials include toxic positivity/inspiration porn content. I watched a video with a woman describing her disability as a strength and as something that ‘can give back’. Everyone is of course able to decide what disability means to them, but none of this resonates with me. My disabilities make my life much harder. There are lots of thing I simply can not do. Even the most mundane of daily tasks are negatively impacted by my conditions. That doesn’t feel like a strength to me. I also cannot comprehend how a disability ‘gives back’. Do my defective knees perform acts of service? Or is my daily fainting somehow contributing to a greater good? If so, I haven’t seen the evidence or benefit.

I do not believe that this narrative is advantageous to the disabled community. Our value is not tied up in how well we overcome our disabilities. Disabled & sick people require accommodations. There will always be things we cannot do without assistance or at all. Our bodies do not function like the average person. There is no amount of determination or strength that can change that. The onus should not be on us to make abled bodied people feel comfortable with that. Disabled people should not have to be grateful, inspirational or make themselves ill trying to prove their worth.

There have also been calls for our government to address their obvious failings with regards to disability rights. The Tories have spent over a decade attacking disabled people. Their continued battle to deprive people of vital benefits has done untold harm. Purposely making it incredibly difficult for those with mental illness to qualify for support is intolerable. Their persistent refusal to acknowledge UN reports on the circumstances of disabled people in the UK. Along with long-standing inequalities such as disabled people being unable to live with a partner or marry without losing disability benefits. There are many urgent issues this government could address if they truly wanted to empower disabled people. This is very poorly executed lip service.

If someone wants to share about themselves, they will do so. If a person requires your assistance, they will request it. There are very few instances in which is imperative to know the details of someone’s disability. The exceptions, health & safety in the workplace, safely accessing facilities and so on can all be handled discretely & professionally. There is never a reason to intrude on a disabled person’s privacy. This campaign does the opposite of its stated objectives. Considering it is a Conservative initiative, no one is surprised.

* UK Disability Statistics Feb 2023.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

The Last Supper…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

Season 2 is complete & I would like some credit for knowing that Aidan was a very bad idea from the get go.

We’ll get back to my i told you so later. Let’s kick off with the good, eh? Anthony is in love. Excellent. I’m not convinced by the whole internalised homophobia plot, but I am pleased he has a happy conclusion.

Miranda & Steve finally have the closure I was begging for. A recognition of what they shared & a promise of a friendly future. I loved Steve’s ‘I was right for a really long time’. It is lovely to see a relationship breakdown being portrayed as something other than failure. It doesn’t always last forever, but that doesn’t erase all the good that people share. Another big tick.

Che remains annoying. The tequila in Carrie’s kitchen, their insistence that those jokes were funny & to be honest their presence at the dinner wound me up. Nya’s (I had to remind myself of her name, which is not a good sign) handsome bar dude being the chef was a bit too romcom convenient. Similarly Seema’s I love you’ freak out was cliche, but I can let some things go. Carrie acquiring a kitten pleases me immensely. Bonus points for naming her Shoe. Samantha’s cameo was a let down, however at least in keeping with her character.

Which brings us back to where we started; Aidan. Now that she has sold her home & purchased a giant place he’s about to make redundant, he can bear to enter that apartment. The minute Carrie upends her entire life, he discovers that he can’t possibly take his eyes or thoughts off his kids for a second. Obviously a parent should always put their children’s needs first, but I’m not sure constant supervision is what his teen requires. It’s now that we learn that the ex wife is not a constant in the lives of the kids she flew to NYC to warn Carrie off. Aidan literally clicks his fingers & expects Carrie to freeze. There is only one possible answer to his 5yr wait proposition; FUCK OFF.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.