If you’ve been around for any time at all you’ll know that I love statement specs. If I have to wear something every day you can be sure it is going to be funky.
I’m always on the look out for my next pair of glasses. So I am very lucky to have been gifted these pairs from Firmoo*. I have a soft spot for cat eye and a retro a vibe. These green and diamonte frames are a dream.
I’m equally besotted with a tortoiseshell frame, so obviously I couldn’t resist these beauties. The shape just works on my face. I think they will pair well with everything.
I’ve not long returned from a little getaway, which was wonderful. I’m know chasing my tail a little with every day stuff. Why does housework never end? Once I find the bottom of my laundry basket I will share my adventures.
* Use CNCZ50 with the link above for a 50% discount.
As usual I want to share where I am putting my charitable pounds this month in the hope that some may follow suit. If you are in a position to help, any donation can make a difference.
It will be no surprise to you that I continue to support of Haitham & his family. Conditions in Gaza remain dire. This family need our help to reach safety.
This month I have also made a donation to World Vision to aid their mission of supporting vulnerable children. I chose to contribute to their FGM (female genital mutilation) campaign. At least 230 million girls in the world today have gone through this brutal procedure. World Vision partners with organisations around the world to promote child protection and reduce the circumstances that can lead to genital mutilation.
If you can spare it please consider making a donation.
I’ve needed my walking stick for quite a long time. Maybe 7 or 8 years and I’ve only just become properly comfortable with it. Using a mobility aid, especially earlier in life, is very strange. Everyone has an opinion. No one is shy about sharing it.
All the questions and reactions definitely had an impact on me. I feel self conscious more often than one might expect. I hate when strangers want my medical history. Staring makes me feel shit or angry; sometimes both. I am so fed up with being told I’m so young for a walking stick. I find it really difficult to need accommodations. I feel like a real pain in the arse more often than anyone else is bothered. Likewise, I’m sure I sense judgement more than it actually exists. All of which messes with the confidence.
Then of course there is a sense of loss. Accepting all the things you can no longer do is hard. I struggled on without a stick for longer than I should have because I had this ridiculous idea that I was giving in. I’ve always felt a certain amount of pressure to be stoic in the face of my health issues. A walking stick felt like capitulation. It also forced me across the line in my head of admitting that I was permanently disabled. Before that I was hanging on to the idea that my knee could get better. That was silly considering I’d been assured by more than one Dr that it absolutely would not. Degenerative conditions aren’t known for improvement.
All told, it’s been trickier than I’ve let on. I’ve finally found peace. How do I know? I have personalised my stick. The idea of making it in any way decorative used to make me feel queasy. I have concluded that my subconscious attached styling the stick with it being part of my identity. The way I dress has always reflected my personality. Until very recently including my walking stick in that was a frightening prospect.
Klimt Style
I’m over the line again. If I’m taking the bloody thing every where it might as well be a bit funky. Keep your eyes peeled for new incarnations. Knowing me, I’ll be mixing up it.
Moo Style
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I’ve been bogged down in the day to day of late. Very little excitement. Lots of drudge. This time of year tends to be a bit like this for me.
The miserable weather makes me want to hunker down a little. This results in me kicking about the house in my comfies much of the time. Every now and then I need a wee treat to remind me it’s fun to put an outfit together. This month’s push were these amazing snag tights.
I love snags. There is nothing worse than constantly having to haul your tights up & snags don’t budge. This pair is a fine wool, so cosy without being bulky. I think they look adorable with this dress & t-shirt. Probably even better with a slinky wee evening number. Should I ever embark on a night out again I’ll be sure to give them a bash.
If you like what I do you can support me on Patreon.
Just when I thought Keir Starmer was the most rage inducing Labour politician, Tony Blair popped his head out of whatever luxury hole he currently resides in. He decided that we all needed to hear his ableist and stigmatising opinions.
This statement is vile in a number of ways. Blair’s wilful ignorance will contribute to rising disability hate. There is no excuse for someone in his position to feed the right wing ‘scrounger’ narrative. I feel compelled to clear some things up.
Self Diagnosis
There is one reason and one reason only that there has been a rise in ‘self diagnosis’. That is inability to access mental health services. NHS waiting lists are long and actually getting a referral in the first place is laborious. Many people are instead directed to online resources and/or NHS helplines. Those who make it onto a waiting list may still have battles ahead. Most patients are offered a short course of CBT*, a modality that is not suitable for everyone and is often counterproductive. Those struggling to deal with mental illness are not researching symptoms and looking for a diagnosis for the hell of it. They do so because they are desperate. They are not adequately supported by professionals and are driven to find their own answers.
Disability Benefits Bill
Let me be clear, no one without an official diagnosis is receiving disability benefits. Successfully applying for these benefits (PIP, DLA, ESA or ADP**) is an incredibly onerous endeavour. The process requires extensive disclosures, evidence and the support of medical professionals. The system already purposely discriminates against those with mental illness. The criteria are designed to exclude symptoms and difficulties experienced by those with common mental illness like depression or anxiety. Many people with a professional diagnosis and treatment input from psychiatric services are denied these benefits. There is zero chance of someone just saying they have a condition and being approved.
Gaming the System
Implying that large numbers of people are illegitimately claiming benefits is dangerous and inaccurate. Fraud rates for disability benefits are very low. In fact, there is a higher percentage of claimants being underpaid. The application process is exhaustive. It is intentionally stressful and intimidating. Assessors frequently over ride expert medical opinion despite being unqualified to evaluate the conditions claimants have. Vast numbers of claims are rejected only to be overturned on appeal. Contrary to the current narrative, disabled people are often denied support they are entitled to.
***
Scapegoats
Disabled people make great scapegoats. We are one of the most vulnerable demographics. Often with little emotional or physical resources to fight the bureaucracy. We have been subject to harsh conditions since the beginning of austerity. Research from the University of York found that the impact of cuts to social & healthcare were linked to over 57,000 more deaths than expected between 2010 – 2014 alone. The perception that disability benefits are easily scammed and so costly as to damage the economy further endangers us. In 2023/2004 multiple regions in the UK recorded their highest number of disability hate crimes. Being scapegoated by those in positions of power is nothing new. The Tories have been using us as a distraction from their disastrous policies and corruption for years. To have Labour join in is a tough blow. I didn’t have high hopes for this government, but this page from the Conservative playbook is still alarming. Yes, I know that Blair is not a member of our government, but he does still hold sway within the party. His comments will absolutely be associated with Labour.
Disabled people are not to blame for the crisis in our health service. The UK has been experiencing a swell in both physical and mental illness for a number of years. This is as a result of deteriorating public services and a drop in quality of life. The pandemic played a part, but the biggest culprits are our political leaders. It disgusting that the trend of pointing the finger at a vulnerable group to distract from the reality of governmental failures is set to continue.
* Cognitive Behaviour Therapy
** Personal Independence Payment. Disability Living Allowance. Employment and Support Allowance. Adult Disability Payment.
*** Department of Works & Pensions
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It’s a new year and I have a two new favourites. Both were Xmas presents and I am in love.
My new favourite dress is t shirt dress with a twist. This makes it incredibly comfortable and easy to wear. With the bonus of making my curves look banging. If it is available in other colours/prints, I am buying all of them!
Dress – Asos
My second fav are these wonderful jammies. They are so soft and wonderfully comfy. The fold down waist allows me to accommodate my belly comfortably at even its most extreme pcos bloat. Plus I look cute in them. I honestly would wear them everyday if I could.
Pyjamas – Next
I’ve had a slow start to January, so the jammies have had more wear than the dress. I’m gearing up now, so more fun outfits are coming soon.
If you like what I do you can support me on Patreon.
No doubt everywhere you look you’re seeing lists of achievements, New Year’s resolutions and diet talk. Of course, I am here to interrupt all that bullshit.
For starters, you are not required to have a list of great successes. Some years are a hard slog. We all have different obstacles. For that matter we also have different goals and aspirations. Some folk are happy with their status quo and that is perfectly fine. If you’re worrying about your wins not being big or plentiful enough, please don’t. You made it & that’s enough. I don’t care if you didn’t get a big promotion or a new house, you did do every single day. You took care of yourself (& anyone else you’re responsible for), you paid the bills & made the dinners. You were also there for people in your life, you celebrated birthdays and talked through tough times. You are important, you matter in your everyday life. In the words of Self Esteem, ‘all the days you get to have are big days’. So congratulations, you have completed another turn around the sun. I’m certain you’ve had more impact than you know.
Let’s move along to the resolutions. If there are things you want to do by all means set a goal, make a plan. However, you are not obligated to change or become ‘better’ just because we entered a new year. Chances are you already have a whole heap of stuff piled on your plate. Perhaps you’re struggling to digest all that last year brought. Or maybe you’re half through a project or plan. It’s all good. Jan 1st doesn’t really signify anything. Just keep going.
Finally we come to my most disliked new year pressure; weight loss. You are going to be with adverts, influencers and people in your life telling you about their diet. Everyone will have the answer. This new medication, plan, supplement is the real thing. Let me save you a lot of trouble, it’s all crap. It’s the same thing repackaged and trying to convince you it is the answer to all your problems. Diets don’t work. Deep down we all know that. The vast majority of people regain anything shed via intentional weight loss. In fact, most of us add a bit extra too. What’s more, making your body smaller doesn’t fix anything inside you. It’s not a magic wand. In case you don’t hear it anywhere else, I’m going to say it; your worth is not tied to your weight.
You can live your life right now. Shrinking your body is not required. You do not have to for indulging over the festive season. Nor do you have to put anything on hold until you are smaller. Health and weight loss are not the same thing.
In short, you are enough. I hope you feel that and take it into 2025.
If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.
No matter what my Christmas Day plans are, I always dress up. It probably stems from always having a new outfit for the big day as a child. In any case it’s a thing I have continued. This year getting dolled up was actually required.
My brother invited to us have Xmas dinner at the castle he was married in. It’s a beautiful place that holds sentimental memories from childhood and of course his wedding. Of course I spruced myself up for the occasion. This corset top was an impulse sale buy. It felt a little bare, so I popped this little sheer top underneath. I felt pretty good with the resultant look.
Corset Top – Pretty Little Thing Top – Daisy Street Trousers – Elvi
We had a lovely time. The food was gorgeous; best vegan cheesecake I’ve ever tasted. My nephews had fun opening presents and telling crackers jokes. Santa even made a visit to our table.
Boxing Day is Mum’s birthday. Thus we gathered to celebrate at my sister’s. I was ready for a more relaxed outfit. Luckily, Mum had gave me this cosy hoodie the previous day. Much fun was had with my nephew’s new toys. Predictably, I am as bad at switch sports as the real thing.
Hoodie – Gift
I feel very lucky to have so many wonderful people to enjoy the season with. I hope you all had a safe and comfortable Christmas.
If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.
Last month I added to my tattoo collection in the best way possible. I got a beautiful profile portrait of my beloved Bronan.
I lost my gorgeous boy in July and it has been impossible to get used to life without him. My home still feels empty without his demanding presence. A memorial tattoo felt like the perfect way to always have him with me. The fantastic Lauren at Luna Tattoo captured my boy perfectly.
I wanted a really simple black profile that highlighted the shape of his nose and white stripe. I adore him. I also had a great experience at Luna. I love being tattooed by women. Lauren made me so comfortable and I loved the vibe they’ve created at Luna. If you’re local, I highly recommend this shop.
If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.
Baby, it’s cold outside! Actually it’s cold inside too. Even with the central heating on all day, I still find myself feeling chilly. So, you can imagine how freezing I get when I do venture outdoors. My solution, wear a cosy jumper with everything!
It works. Even the fanciest of items look super cute with a big slouchy jumper. Don’t believe me, check these looks out.
Cardi – ASOS Petticoat – Lindy Bop
Petticoats are amazing. Wear under a swing skirt/dress and you get a gorgeous retro swirly style. Wear it alone and you get a beautiful puffy tutu ish look. Pair it with some high denier tights and some bright knitwear, you get perfect winter wear.
Take the same cardigan, add a vest & maxi skirt and ta da; no fuss outfit. Exactly the kind of outfit I need for a day with my niblings. This skirt is so incredibly soft and it has pockets. It couldn’t be better.
Skirt – Gift
When I needed something a bit special for a really important meeting I stuck with the theme. I have hardly worn this full length tulle skirt. I’ve decided it is too pretty to languish in my wardrobe. So, I’ve teamed it with a vest and simple cardi to make it a bit more day. I felt so good, swooshing around.
Cardigan – Monsoon
I don’t love the below zero temperatures, but I am fond of layers and winter warmers. If I have to go outdoors I will be wrapping myself in the cosiest, chunkiest knits.
If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.
Something in the way she moves... 
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