Gift guides are go…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

I’m not a let’s start Christmas as soon as Halloween is over type. However, I do have a tonne of folk to shop for. The only way I can get through my list sans breakdown is to start early. So, yeah I am that person who is Xmas shopping in October. My always messy spare room becomes a crazy Santa store room. Thus I give you the first of my gift lists.

The majority of my Xmas gifts are for kids. I am a big proponent of supporting small business & I do buy extras from them. Let’s face it, often little ones want the latest craze toy. My first suggestion ticks that box. Two of niblings went nuts when they saw the advert for the Mega Chomp Shark. It’s basically a remote controlled shark that chases people around. I doubt my sister or bestie will thank me for introducing this chaos to their homes, but what are Aunties for? I cannot wait to be chomped as they will inevitably set their sharks on me.

Next up is slightly calmer and offers educational value. It’s one of those sneaky toys that hides all its skill learning in fun. One of my nephews absolutely loved Geomag. It started when I was very kindly gifted a magnetic set for him to try when he was smaller. He now favours the mechanical range. You can build whole courses with bridges, catapults and more. He is going to flip when he sees the collection I have for him.

*

Strong Girls Club is more in keeping with my usual shop small ethos. I love the story & aim of this brand, namely to empower girls & women. I applaud any effort to bolster confidence and break gender stereotypes in our little ones. Strong Girls have the cutest clothes for kids and Mum’s. If you like a bit of twinning you’ll love them. They also have fabulous games, toys and books all in keeping with their mission.

Last, but not least is Hey Doodle offering fun, reusable colouring mats. They come in a little pouch that makes them perfect for on the go entertainment. Each mat holds hours of doodling & colouring fun and then can be wiped cleaned for next time. I know a pair of toddler twins who are going to love them.

*

* – gifted, but opinions remain my own.

I’d rather be fat and happy…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

About a month ago I made a Tik Tok about wegovy & similar ‘weight loss’ jabs. I had seen a lot of people promoting them, giving advice on how to get them prescribed etc. These positive posts all had notable omissions. I wanted to address the missing information.

I am fully behind bodily autonomy & wouldn’t tell people what to do with their bodies. However, I think it is essential that we have all the information before making medical decisions. It’s impossible to consent to treatment if you aren’t informed of all the risks, side effects and so on.

The current information on medications of this type is that weight loss will be most significant in the first 6months. Loss will peak at 1year and regardless of how long you remain on the drug, you will start to regain after that point. Regaining any weight lost is not only a certainty, it will happen fast. In fact the data shows that the pattern of weight loss & gain is similar to other methods of intentional weight loss. You are likely to regain not only the weight lost, but a little extra on top too.

People who have these injections report many gastric symptoms. Extreme nausea, vomiting & diarrhoea sometimes for weeks or months at a time. For others those side effects never settle. Long term use increases the risk of gallbladder problems & pancreatitis. Both are very painful, the latter can be deadly if not promptly treated. It’s also important to note that these injections have not been licensed for more than 2yrs for use in non diabetics. They have also never been prescribed in such high doses. The truth is there are still many unknowns. What we do know for sure it that these medications have serious risks & promise only short term results.

So, why am I going over all this again? Today I got a notification of a comment on that video. Reading it broke my heart.

I understand that sentiment. I used to feel that way. I’d make jokes about smoking instead of eating; saying as long as I was a thin corpse I didn’t care. I know how painful it is to feel that way. What’s worse is I know that many of the professionals who swore an oath to ‘do no harm’ feel the same way. Fat phobia is so ingrained in the medical profession that Drs recommend harmful meds, diets & surgeries to fat patients. Rushed to market, poorly tested and even known to be ineffective interventions. It matters not, because they’d rather we be sick or even dead than fat.

We deserve better. We should be able to consult our Drs when needed without the dreaded weight loss chat. We are entitled to treatments & procedures without having to first agree to dangerous diets. We are as worthy of respect and compassion as any other patient. And, we can demand it.

There are so many amazing resources to help fat patients deal with medical weight stigma. Two of my favourite fat positive medical folks are Dr Asher Larmie & Dr Joshua Wolrich both have written extensively on the topic. I cannot recommend their work enough.

I also support the anti diet work of :

Gillian Wilson

Vinny Welsby

Fat Women of Colour

Dr Diana Gordon

I too am happy to help if I can. I’m not a medical health professional, but have learned many strategies for dealing with anti fat Drs. I’m always delighted to pass these on.

If Bronan’s belly is cute, so is yours.

If you enjoy my writing you can support me here or on Patreon .

You take the high road…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

This week I took a little trip. My sister treated me for my birthday to an unexpected activity. Yes, folks, I went camping.

Well, I say camping. We had a Kingsize bed, log burner & private bathroom. It’s as close to camping as I will ever get. My sis, her boy & I headed up north to Loch Tay for a couple of nights in a fancy little dome.

Loch Tay Highland Lodges

The setting was beautiful. We had a lot of fun around the camp fire, visited the local beauty spots & even conquered a castle.

Doune Castle

October in Scotland is pretty cold, layers were important. I still wanted to bring my own thing to the outdoors, I decided to give the trip a leopard theme.

Glasses – Where Light

Set off in my leopard print dungees with some added spooky details. Comfy, cosy & very cute.

Dungarees – ASOS Skeleton Top – Boohoo
Brooch – Poesy & Grenadine

Kept to the theme with this long sleeved, tiered dress. My trusty snag tights (also in leopard) & my fluffiest cardigan upped the warmth factor.

Dress – ASOS Cardigan – ASOS

I always love to have uninterrupted Auntie time. Bedtimes stories & sparklers are hard to beat, but inside jokes with my wee sis comes close.

If you enjoy my writing you can support me here or on Patreon

Charity of the Month

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

Sadly, recent events in the Middle East have made the decision of who to donate to this month obvious. The humanitarian crisis in Palestine is more urgent than ever.

A terrorist atrocity should not lead to an attack on a civilian population. The international community has a responsibility to upload international law & to provide aid to Palestine.

Medical Aid for Palestine provide immediate medical treatment for Palestinian living under occupation and as refugees. They also help create infrastructure & train people to ensure the development of the healthcare system.

I’m sure you have all watched the news with the same horror as myself. Children make up half the population in Gaza. No child (or any person) should have to experience such fear & violence. If you can please donate here.

You can also find a template to write to you Mp here. If you’re not sure who your Mp you can find them here.

Release the bats…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

October is here, it’s officially Spooky Season. I love this time of year. I’m ready for all the cold, fresh days and listening to the rain at night. I’m also delighted to dive into Halloween fun.

Let’s start with some spooky nail art . I kicked off with bats because they’re cute, but sometimes a little scary. Perfect for the season.

Hands with Halloween themed manicured sparkly silver with purple bats.

I hadn’t planned to do a new design so quickly, but I chipped the hell out of my bats. Now we have creepy cats.

Nails with Halloween themed manicure. Orange with black cats & black with green spider webs.

I wonder what ghoulish creature might be next. If you have suggestions I’d love to hear them.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Charity of the Month…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

This month the change in weather & return of anti choice protesters prompted my donations.

If you know me at all you’ll be aware that I am passionately pro-choice. The rise of US style religious harassment outside hospitals & clinics are repugnant. Everyone is entitled to make reproductive decisions for themselves & safely access whatever treatment they require. I am completely in favour of buffer zones to ensure this. You can help make buffer zones law in Scotland by support Back Off Scotland . There are links to write to your Msp, sign their petition & make a donation on their website.

My second consideration was the chill in the air. I can only imagine how horrendous it is to face the Scottish winter without a safe place to call home. Homeless Project Scotland provide vital services including a food bank, soup kitchen & street teams. If you can help, any donation would be wonderful.

You can support both organisations in ways other than monetary. So, please check out the links if you want to help.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Assume…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

The government has launched yet another useless campaign. This time they claim the aim is empowering & dispelling myths about disabled people.

In my opinion Ask Don’t Assume is a big fail. I don’t seem to be alone in that opinion. Many disabled people agree that encouraging the public at large to ask us whatever questions into pop their heads is a terrible idea. The government claim to have done extensive research. According to Minister for Disabled People, Health & Work, Tom Pursglove that ‘extensive research was with 500+ people with lived experience of disability. To be honest I’m surprised they found 500 people who thought this was a good campaign. However, with 6.3 million people currently entitled to disability benefits*, consulting 500 does not qualify as extensive.

One of the problems I encounter as a disabled/chronically ill person is maintaining boundaries. So many strangers don’t think twice of asking personal & invasive questions. Almost every time I leave the house someone will ask ‘what’s wrong with you’. In recent years Tory policies regarding disability benefits have led to more people holding hostile views. Disabled people are often viewed with suspicion, which leads to strangers demanding information from me. People who know nothing about me or my circumstances feel entitled to my private medical information just incase I am somehow ‘scrounging’ benefits. A government campaign with the tagline, Ask Don’t Assume, legitimatises this behaviour.

Further, a lot of the campaign materials include toxic positivity/inspiration porn content. I watched a video with a woman describing her disability as a strength and as something that ‘can give back’. Everyone is of course able to decide what disability means to them, but none of this resonates with me. My disabilities make my life much harder. There are lots of thing I simply can not do. Even the most mundane of daily tasks are negatively impacted by my conditions. That doesn’t feel like a strength to me. I also cannot comprehend how a disability ‘gives back’. Do my defective knees perform acts of service? Or is my daily fainting somehow contributing to a greater good? If so, I haven’t seen the evidence or benefit.

I do not believe that this narrative is advantageous to the disabled community. Our value is not tied up in how well we overcome our disabilities. Disabled & sick people require accommodations. There will always be things we cannot do without assistance or at all. Our bodies do not function like the average person. There is no amount of determination or strength that can change that. The onus should not be on us to make abled bodied people feel comfortable with that. Disabled people should not have to be grateful, inspirational or make themselves ill trying to prove their worth.

There have also been calls for our government to address their obvious failings with regards to disability rights. The Tories have spent over a decade attacking disabled people. Their continued battle to deprive people of vital benefits has done untold harm. Purposely making it incredibly difficult for those with mental illness to qualify for support is intolerable. Their persistent refusal to acknowledge UN reports on the circumstances of disabled people in the UK. Along with long-standing inequalities such as disabled people being unable to live with a partner or marry without losing disability benefits. There are many urgent issues this government could address if they truly wanted to empower disabled people. This is very poorly executed lip service.

If someone wants to share about themselves, they will do so. If a person requires your assistance, they will request it. There are very few instances in which is imperative to know the details of someone’s disability. The exceptions, health & safety in the workplace, safely accessing facilities and so on can all be handled discretely & professionally. There is never a reason to intrude on a disabled person’s privacy. This campaign does the opposite of its stated objectives. Considering it is a Conservative initiative, no one is surprised.

* UK Disability Statistics Feb 2023.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

23

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

Dear Son,

Today would be your 23rd birthday. I can’t imagine that I would be top of your party list. Mothers tend to cramp one’s style. Still, I think about how you would celebrate.

Would you feel too old for cake with candles? I wonder if a family dinner would be on the agenda. I picture your Gran fussing over you. Your Aunts & Uncles buying you drinks & taking the piss. I see you surrendered to your little cousin’s nonsense entreaties. It’s all perfect. Of course I know life wouldn’t always be that way, but this is what I hoped to give you.

Recently I’ve been wondering what would come next. When I kissed you goodbye, where would you be headed off to? I was self sufficient by 23. I graduated that year, I was living alone in a flat I hated & working a crappy job to get by. My mental health was a mess & adulting was a learning curve. It wasn’t all bad. I was young & answerable only to myself. I had good friends and we made the most of our youth. I partied as many nights a week as I could afford. I felt such satisfaction; paying the bills, managing a home. Living life on my terms. Always, though, you were missing.

I thought of how my life would be with you then as much as I do now. The younger years were easier to imagine. I don’t know what decisions you would have made. I’d have wanted you to go to University. I’m sure I’d be happy to still have you at home. Perhaps you’d have a partner. You could be just like me. A new graduate balancing a job & the clubs. Or maybe you’d have taken an entirely different route. I’d support anything that made you happy. I’d be proud of the man you would be becoming.

I only write today, but you’re in my thoughts every day. I’d have done whatever it took to give you everything you needed.

Love always,

Mum.

The Last Supper…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

Season 2 is complete & I would like some credit for knowing that Aidan was a very bad idea from the get go.

We’ll get back to my i told you so later. Let’s kick off with the good, eh? Anthony is in love. Excellent. I’m not convinced by the whole internalised homophobia plot, but I am pleased he has a happy conclusion.

Miranda & Steve finally have the closure I was begging for. A recognition of what they shared & a promise of a friendly future. I loved Steve’s ‘I was right for a really long time’. It is lovely to see a relationship breakdown being portrayed as something other than failure. It doesn’t always last forever, but that doesn’t erase all the good that people share. Another big tick.

Che remains annoying. The tequila in Carrie’s kitchen, their insistence that those jokes were funny & to be honest their presence at the dinner wound me up. Nya’s (I had to remind myself of her name, which is not a good sign) handsome bar dude being the chef was a bit too romcom convenient. Similarly Seema’s I love you’ freak out was cliche, but I can let some things go. Carrie acquiring a kitten pleases me immensely. Bonus points for naming her Shoe. Samantha’s cameo was a let down, however at least in keeping with her character.

Which brings us back to where we started; Aidan. Now that she has sold her home & purchased a giant place he’s about to make redundant, he can bear to enter that apartment. The minute Carrie upends her entire life, he discovers that he can’t possibly take his eyes or thoughts off his kids for a second. Obviously a parent should always put their children’s needs first, but I’m not sure constant supervision is what his teen requires. It’s now that we learn that the ex wife is not a constant in the lives of the kids she flew to NYC to warn Carrie off. Aidan literally clicks his fingers & expects Carrie to freeze. There is only one possible answer to his 5yr wait proposition; FUCK OFF.

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Get it together…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

Before I embark on the finale there are some things I need to get off my chest. Of course I am talking And Just Like That (AJLT). This second series is determined to piss us all of. Let’s get into it.

We can start with the open goal that was Lisa’s pregnancy story. They had the perfect opportunity to show an accurate portrayal of abortion. According to stats for the USA, the majority of those seeking abortions are already mothers. Instead of having a real conversation about her needs & options, they chose a brief exchange devoid of anyone actually saying the word abortion. The wrapped it up with the usual tv cop out of her having a miscarriage. Given the current attacks on reproductive rights I think this was a cowardly decision. More than ever we need honest, unashamed representation. A show like AJLT should be a natural place to do that.

On the flip side, I loved Charlotte’s drunken outburst. This highlighted an experience many mothers have. Almost every married Mother I know takes on more of the family labour than her partner. The constant need to be on top of every detail of everyone’s life is exhausting. Charlotte’s frustration was warranted & I am so glad she decided to let them have it. Letting Richard Burton into the room after slamming the door was the icing on the cake. As for Rock & their notebook; I’d have been firmly in the suck it up camp.

Now we come to the bit that got my blood pressure soaring. Che. What the fuck was that? Their stand up was woeful. It wasn’t funny. It wasn’t remotely truthful. It had gross gatekeeping undertones & it was cruel. They enthusiastically pursued Miranda with their eyes wide open. Miranda’s boundaries & needs were repeatedly ignored. Che was happy as Larry until their career & ego took a knock. Their self pitying ‘this is who I am’ rant was epically unlikeable. Who you are is an arsehole. Enjoy.

While we’re on the subject, what the hell was Carrie playing at? Her arse should have been up & out that door seconds in. A real friend would have grabbed Miranda’s hand and taken her home. Further more Che’s dinner invite should have been immediately rescinded. If anyone dared to speak to my friend in that manner, never mind so publicly, they’d be feeling my wrath.

Aidan, Carrie & Miranda are sitting in a dark room with blue lighting.

Carrie did slightly mitigate her ‘mistake’ bullshit when she talked about her marriage with Charlotte’s boss. Man alive, though, she’s getting on my wick. Her relationship with Aidan is exactly what it always was. He continues to passive aggressively let her know she will never be entirely forgiven. His ex pops up to protect him, her beloved apartment has to go and all the while I’m screaming STOP. Obviously trouble was looming and it comes with the worst crying scene I have ever witnessed. Seriously, that was some bad acting. I

Aidan is crying in the front seat of a car.

How will it all end? We know there will be a Samantha cameo. I can only hope she talks some sense into everyone.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon .