body positive

Life is a rollercoaster…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

It’s been a mixed few weeks. The Easter holidays presented lots of opportunities for auntie time. Unfortunately, my body has seized every opportunity to mess with me.

My first Easter adventure was a trip to The Burrell Collection. I spent a lot of time here as a kid and always enjoyed it. It is so nice to share it with the next generation. The boy absolutely loved all the swords and armour. I loved watching him explore.

Dress – Forever 21 Tights – Snag Boots – Air Cloudies

The Burrell is really good on the accessibility front. Wide flat spaces that are easy to manoeuvre. Plenty of places to sit throughout, plus light weight stools you can carry around with you. Spacious lifts to all floors. It is a stunning buildings, with exhibits to entertain all ages.

As you know, I’m big into my glasses. I can never have enough. Thus, I was delighted to collab with Firmoo. These blue beauties have been on my face since the moment they arrived.

Glasses – Firmoo *

Next up was a little dip with my bestie & her brood. Swimming is my favourite, not least because I can properly carry on with kids. In the water I can move with ease. It feels so good not to be in pain every second. It’s even better to play a shark, spin the kids, help them ‘swim’. Much fun was had even if my littlest niece was frustrated that she needed to hold on to me. She was determined that she could do it herself and was not convinced when I explained that she couldn’t swim. Swimming with littles requires clothes that can be easily pulled on whilst squeezed into a tiny changing room with a wiggly child. These wide legs were perfect.

Trousers – Pockets and Sedition Cardigan – Monsoon

A few days later I was back with the treesome for the twin’s birthday. I can’t believe they are three already. It’s a cliche, but kids really do grow too fast! I still call these two babies, which is wishful thinking. They are so smart & funny & full of love. It is an honour to be part of their lives. We had a classic children’s party; balloons, cake & pass the parcel. It was a joy.

On the flip side my insomnia is in full force. Tossing & turning for hours every night is torture. I lie there exhausted, but feeling this horrendous unsettled sensation all over. The more I dwell on this physical embodiment of anxiety, the further away sleep gets. Every day feels like wading through mud. Surviving on minuscule amounts of sleep is the absolute worst.

When my body isn’t refusing to sleep, it’s passing out. Pots is kicking my arse. My latest fainting disaster resulted in two small fractures of my hand. The good news is that the bones are fast healing. The bad is that it is my walking stick hand and weight bearing is not easy. I’m feeling overwhelmed about how this is going to impact my mobility. Fingers crossed the predicted 3 weeks healing time is correct.

I might have to wear an ugly splint, but my nails look great.

Thankfully Bronan is always around for snuggles. A purring cat is a great stress reducer.

* Use my code Kerr50 for up to 80% off.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Design for life…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

Yesterday I was doing a little insta scrolling when I came across a really strange post. It’s from Michelle Ogundehin an interior designer who is on that design competition show on BBC. I followed her for pictures of pretty rooms. Thus, I was shocked by this abrupt change in content.

I have a problem with these kind of alarmist statements. Exercise is good for us. Everyone knows that. Encouraging people to try new things, enjoy moving their body, take a nice walk is great. Scaring the bejesus out of folk with you’re going to die, is not. Life is complicated. Not everyone has time, money or the physical ability to partake in the 30mins/5 times a week suggested in this post. The comments were flooded with people pointing this out. Many said the tone was all wrong & the content ableist. Michelle’s replies ranged from patronising to snarky. Then she turned off commenting. As a disabled person who has very few exercise options I tire of this exclusionary narrative. I also believe it is counter productive; fear & shame are not effective long term motivators.

On a wider point I’m throughly sick of how many unqualified people stray into the ‘health & well being’ sphere. Even in my carefully curated timelines I find it hard to escape grifters spewing pseudo science. The scope appears to be continually growing, manifestion, fad diets, alpha males, mlms, alternative cures… the list goes on. All making unsubstantiated claims & usually making buck. Ten minutes on google is all it takes to see that almost all of these people are unqualified. Some may be well meaning, most are shameless charlatans.

Curious as to what inspired this shift in content I took a look at Ogundehin’s substack. Amongst the expected design tips there are a lot of posts about ‘health’. She covers topics I honestly don’t think she is qualified to offer advice on. She does mention that she’s not a medical professional. She also confidently declares things fact that I am not certain stand up to much investigation. Her sources are suspect, her tone is off. She uses phrases like ‘food be thy medicine’ and writes overblown articles on the dangers of gluten. To me, it seems like another person who has realised there is money to be made in the wellness world.

Before I wrote this I did a little research. I wanted to check I wasn’t mistaken about her qualifications. Michelle appears very qualified for roles related to design. She has held impressive positions in editing, journalism and design. However, I can’t find any evidence of training that would make her a go to on food or health. She does mention in her substuck that she has started studying nutrition, but by her own admission is on the first module of what sounds like an introductory course. Health is a serious topic. I’m all for sharing our experiences and what worked for us. However, I truly fear the idea of people making impactful changes in their lives based on the pronouncements of unqualified people.

Please be careful out there. Dig a little a deeper before taking things you find online as fact. That includes me! I research topics before writing about them, but that does not make me an expert. I want readers to check things out for themselves. I always provide resources and caveat my opinions. In the case of anything related to your health, my advice is always consult a Dr.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Mad Woman…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

As predicted last week’s level of activity resulted in this week’s inactivity. I’ve been sore and exhausted. Tedious, but expected. The thing that has really been bothering me is my foul mood.

I’m extremely pissed off. Don’t ask me why because I have no idea. No one has done anything egregious. I have experienced no great wrong. Yet, each day I wake up feeling grumpier than the last. My baseline emotion is crabby.

The slightest provocation sends my simmering frustration to bubbling over. I lose a page in a book, spill my tea, forget a detail and I’m furious. My wrath is not solely directed inwards, everyone & everything annoys me. For no reason. I know my feelings are unreasonable. Consequently, it is best for me to be where others are not. I doubt all this seclusion is helpful. Turning all this negativity on myself is unlikely to produce much joy.

I’m at a loss for a solution. I’m accustomed to feeling sad or scared, but this aimless anger is uniquely discomforting. I hope it will pass. Perhaps when I’m less fatigued my mood will lift. Maybe the state of the world is getting to me. Or just life itself. Whatever the cause, I do not love it.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

A week in the life…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

Last week was hectic. I packed in way more than was sensible. So, of course I’m entirely out of spoons now. It was worth it, though. I had some productive meetings and lovely time with people I care about.

First there was the little matter of tests and seeing some consultants. Unfortunately this involved pretty much an entire day in hospital, mostly waiting. Listen, I am very grateful for our NHS, I doubt I’d still be here without it. However, watching the impact of Tory cuts over the last decade is deeply frightening. Sickness, ageing accidents will touch all of our lives. We need a functioning NHS, it is a miraculous institution. Please keep that in mind when you are casting your votes.

T-Shirt – Primark Cardigan – Curve Soul Mask – Topple & Burn

Tuesday involved meetings about an exciting opportunity, which I feel good about. I long ago abandoned cosplaying as a suit. I feel fake & uncomfortable in that get up. I don’t present my best self that way. Thus, I turn up as me and I find that gets the best results.

Skirt – Gift

The following day was all Bronan. We went for his bloods & then a had bit of a wild goose chase for his insulin. Fridge malfunctions caused some problems, but we got there in the end. Bronan was very grumpy about his extended time in his carrier, but once home he got thoroughly pampered.

By Thursday it was time for a reward. I put on a pretty dress and had a catch up with my very favourite man. We went to Brutti Compadres. I love it there because the have the best tapas and Rosè sangria. Plus amazing lighting that makes it feel like you’re bathed in sun. It was so nice to forget about the miserable Scottish winter. Even nicer to bask in the company of someone delightful.

Dress – Forever 21 Shrug – H&M Tights – Snag

I finished the week in the best way possible; surrounded by niblings. I spent the day playing with Batman and baby bunnies, looking up cheeky animals on my phone and finding out about the latest happenings at school. I also had a good gab with their Mamma. Friday done right.

Trousers – Glamour @ Asos Cardigan – Handmade

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Watching the clothes…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

Would you like to see some things I have been wearing lately? Excellent because that’s exactly what this blog is about. It’s all everyday fashion. I spend a lot of time with little people and in Dr’s waiting rooms; so comfort is paramount.

That doesn’t mean I don’t want to look cool. The keys to my winter 23/24 looks are layering & my Air Cloudies. I didn’t really want these boots, but they might be the best thing I have ever bought. Waterproof, fleece lined and cushioned soles. They are actually like walking on clouds. Also, you can fling them in the washing machine. Spoonie friends, you need these.

Dress – Primark T-Shirt – Delicious Monster Tea Cardigan – Curve Soul*

On the layering front, I like wearing my summer dresses with extras. Stick some tights on, tie up a t shirt & top with a cardi. You’re ready to face the Scottish winter.

This t shirt was a Xmas gift from my sister. I felt a bit teary when I opened it because it highlights how well she knows me. If you don’t want Joni Mitchell lyrics on your chest, fear not they are custom.

T- Shirt – Delicious Monster Tea

I love little floppy mini skirts, but since I cannot gracefully sit or bend, they would definitely result in a lot of flashing. Hence, this skort is one of my fav pieces. All the cuteness of a wee a skirt, with shorts built in to save my blushes. Tights & fluffy cardi make this winter proof. When it comes to tights, it’s always snags. They fit, they don’t fall down & I don’t ladder them on the first wear.

Skort – Simply Be T-Shirt – Curated By Girls Cardigan – ASOS Curve Tights – Snag

I’m 100% an outfit repeater. I don’t really understand the point of not being. I buy clothes that I love and feel good in. Why wouldn’t I want to repeat that experience? Most weeks involve repeats. This one was no different. I swapped my cardigan for a jumper and was good to go again.

Jumper – Curve Soul* Boots – Air Cloudies

Finally, I have today’s look. I fell in love with this jumpsuit the minute I saw it. I adore the zip and contrast stitching. I bought two sizes and even the bigger feels a tiny bit short in the body. Definitely one to size up on. If you have a longer torso, it might not be a winner.

Jumpsuit – Simply Be Tote Bag – Banksy Exhibit

I slipped on another Xmas gift today. This one is from my bestie & sums me pretty well!

Badge – 2 Little Boys

* Gifted. Use Kerr25 for 25% off at Curve Soul.

Grown Up Gift Guide…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

We’ve had a look at things the little ones would like to find under the tree. So, of course now it’s time to check out some grown up gifts.

I wanted this one last year & I’m still hoping it might arrive for crimbo ‘23. It’s the Topple and Burn’s festive jumper. This year they have two designs & it is hard to choose between them. If you know any excellent people with correct political opinions, look no further.

Topple and Burn

My next suggestion is inspired by my little sister. She accidentally overpoured & dealt with a hangover the next day. Which led me to believe that a cocktail set with a measuring device would serve her well. I have fallen for this set from Not on the High Street. It has a slightly art deco ish feel and would look lovely on display.

Not on the High Street

Various people have mentioned that fancied doing one of those customised Paint by Numbers and then I saw an ad. The advert confirmed what a cool idea it was and so I may have made some purchases. You can upload any picture and your paint by numbers will be created. Great gift for folks who love to get crafty, but aren’t necessarily blessed with a tonne of artistic talent.

House Art

Pure Barkin describe their wares as weird clothes for weird babes. It’s slow fashion made in Scotland and could not be more up my street. I basically love every single in their shop. They do have brick & mortar shop in the Barras if you prefer to shop in person. If you’re a fan of this blog I feel confident that someone in your life would like to join the Pure Barkin Clique.

Pure Barkin

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

When there’s something strange…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

A little later than usual, but tonight we embarked on our Halloween tradition. My sister & I have been taking the boy to GlasGlow every year since he was born. This years theme was Ghostbusters & we loved it.

Kelvingrove Park & the Botanics are pretty all year round, but with added light show they’re spectacular.

The boy flipped when he saw the stay soft mallow man & ghostbusters car, but he declared the scary pumpkins his favourite part. I was rather taken with the giant mirror ball and of course I enjoyed how flattering the wall of lights is.

This year was much easier for me as they had added way more places to sit as you walk around. They also have ‘glow passes’ that allowed disabled folk to skip queues/take shortcuts as needed. Plus they even had blue badge parking. Tip top job of making the event accessible.

My nephew likes us all to wear skeletons, so my new jumper was perfect. Worn over the comfiest playsuit with tights & cosy tartan coat.

Coat – ASOS Curve Jumper – Curve Soul Playsuit – Simply Be Tights – Snag

I suppose spooky season is now really over. Best kick my Xmas organising up a gear.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

I’d rather be fat and happy…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

About a month ago I made a Tik Tok about wegovy & similar ‘weight loss’ jabs. I had seen a lot of people promoting them, giving advice on how to get them prescribed etc. These positive posts all had notable omissions. I wanted to address the missing information.

I am fully behind bodily autonomy & wouldn’t tell people what to do with their bodies. However, I think it is essential that we have all the information before making medical decisions. It’s impossible to consent to treatment if you aren’t informed of all the risks, side effects and so on.

The current information on medications of this type is that weight loss will be most significant in the first 6months. Loss will peak at 1year and regardless of how long you remain on the drug, you will start to regain after that point. Regaining any weight lost is not only a certainty, it will happen fast. In fact the data shows that the pattern of weight loss & gain is similar to other methods of intentional weight loss. You are likely to regain not only the weight lost, but a little extra on top too.

People who have these injections report many gastric symptoms. Extreme nausea, vomiting & diarrhoea sometimes for weeks or months at a time. For others those side effects never settle. Long term use increases the risk of gallbladder problems & pancreatitis. Both are very painful, the latter can be deadly if not promptly treated. It’s also important to note that these injections have not been licensed for more than 2yrs for use in non diabetics. They have also never been prescribed in such high doses. The truth is there are still many unknowns. What we do know for sure it that these medications have serious risks & promise only short term results.

So, why am I going over all this again? Today I got a notification of a comment on that video. Reading it broke my heart.

I understand that sentiment. I used to feel that way. I’d make jokes about smoking instead of eating; saying as long as I was a thin corpse I didn’t care. I know how painful it is to feel that way. What’s worse is I know that many of the professionals who swore an oath to ‘do no harm’ feel the same way. Fat phobia is so ingrained in the medical profession that Drs recommend harmful meds, diets & surgeries to fat patients. Rushed to market, poorly tested and even known to be ineffective interventions. It matters not, because they’d rather we be sick or even dead than fat.

We deserve better. We should be able to consult our Drs when needed without the dreaded weight loss chat. We are entitled to treatments & procedures without having to first agree to dangerous diets. We are as worthy of respect and compassion as any other patient. And, we can demand it.

There are so many amazing resources to help fat patients deal with medical weight stigma. Two of my favourite fat positive medical folks are Dr Asher Larmie & Dr Joshua Wolrich both have written extensively on the topic. I cannot recommend their work enough.

I also support the anti diet work of :

Gillian Wilson

Vinny Welsby

Fat Women of Colour

Dr Diana Gordon

I too am happy to help if I can. I’m not a medical health professional, but have learned many strategies for dealing with anti fat Drs. I’m always delighted to pass these on.

If Bronan’s belly is cute, so is yours.

If you enjoy my writing you can support me here or on Patreon .

You take the high road…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

This week I took a little trip. My sister treated me for my birthday to an unexpected activity. Yes, folks, I went camping.

Well, I say camping. We had a Kingsize bed, log burner & private bathroom. It’s as close to camping as I will ever get. My sis, her boy & I headed up north to Loch Tay for a couple of nights in a fancy little dome.

Loch Tay Highland Lodges

The setting was beautiful. We had a lot of fun around the camp fire, visited the local beauty spots & even conquered a castle.

Doune Castle

October in Scotland is pretty cold, layers were important. I still wanted to bring my own thing to the outdoors, I decided to give the trip a leopard theme.

Glasses – Where Light

Set off in my leopard print dungees with some added spooky details. Comfy, cosy & very cute.

Dungarees – ASOS Skeleton Top – Boohoo
Brooch – Poesy & Grenadine

Kept to the theme with this long sleeved, tiered dress. My trusty snag tights (also in leopard) & my fluffiest cardigan upped the warmth factor.

Dress – ASOS Cardigan – ASOS

I always love to have uninterrupted Auntie time. Bedtimes stories & sparklers are hard to beat, but inside jokes with my wee sis comes close.

If you enjoy my writing you can support me here or on Patreon

Don’t Ask, Don’t Assume…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

The government has launched yet another useless campaign. This time they claim the aim is empowering & dispelling myths about disabled people.

In my opinion Ask Don’t Assume is a big fail. I don’t seem to be alone in that opinion. Many disabled people agree that encouraging the public at large to ask us whatever questions into pop their heads is a terrible idea. The government claim to have done extensive research. According to Minister for Disabled People, Health & Work, Tom Pursglove that ‘extensive research was with 500+ people with lived experience of disability. To be honest I’m surprised they found 500 people who thought this was a good campaign. However, with 6.3 million people currently entitled to disability benefits*, consulting 500 does not qualify as extensive.

One of the problems I encounter as a disabled/chronically ill person is maintaining boundaries. So many strangers don’t think twice of asking personal & invasive questions. Almost every time I leave the house someone will ask ‘what’s wrong with you’. In recent years Tory policies regarding disability benefits have led to more people holding hostile views. Disabled people are often viewed with suspicion, which leads to strangers demanding information from me. People who know nothing about me or my circumstances feel entitled to my private medical information just incase I am somehow ‘scrounging’ benefits. A government campaign with the tagline, Ask Don’t Assume, legitimatises this behaviour.

Further, a lot of the campaign materials include toxic positivity/inspiration porn content. I watched a video with a woman describing her disability as a strength and as something that ‘can give back’. Everyone is of course able to decide what disability means to them, but none of this resonates with me. My disabilities make my life much harder. There are lots of thing I simply can not do. Even the most mundane of daily tasks are negatively impacted by my conditions. That doesn’t feel like a strength to me. I also cannot comprehend how a disability ‘gives back’. Do my defective knees perform acts of service? Or is my daily fainting somehow contributing to a greater good? If so, I haven’t seen the evidence or benefit.

I do not believe that this narrative is advantageous to the disabled community. Our value is not tied up in how well we overcome our disabilities. Disabled & sick people require accommodations. There will always be things we cannot do without assistance or at all. Our bodies do not function like the average person. There is no amount of determination or strength that can change that. The onus should not be on us to make abled bodied people feel comfortable with that. Disabled people should not have to be grateful, inspirational or make themselves ill trying to prove their worth.

There have also been calls for our government to address their obvious failings with regards to disability rights. The Tories have spent over a decade attacking disabled people. Their continued battle to deprive people of vital benefits has done untold harm. Purposely making it incredibly difficult for those with mental illness to qualify for support is intolerable. Their persistent refusal to acknowledge UN reports on the circumstances of disabled people in the UK. Along with long-standing inequalities such as disabled people being unable to live with a partner or marry without losing disability benefits. There are many urgent issues this government could address if they truly wanted to empower disabled people. This is very poorly executed lip service.

If someone wants to share about themselves, they will do so. If a person requires your assistance, they will request it. There are very few instances in which is imperative to know the details of someone’s disability. The exceptions, health & safety in the workplace, safely accessing facilities and so on can all be handled discretely & professionally. There is never a reason to intrude on a disabled person’s privacy. This campaign does the opposite of its stated objectives. Considering it is a Conservative initiative, no one is surprised.

* UK Disability Statistics Feb 2023.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.