I am often asked how I learned to feel good in my body. Whilst the answer to that question is long & winding there is one thing I always suggest. I’ve noticed tonnes of folk in the Bopo community offer the same advice; immerse yourself in fat positive content.
It’s an easy starting place. You can follow social media accounts, read articles & watch shows without having to make deep commitments to changes. Removing messages that make you feel bad and replacing them with joyous fat imaging works. It was my first step into accepting my body as it is. It remains something I expand upon.
This is how I came to create my sexy self love wall. The deep red wall in my bedroom long hankered for some art, but I could never decide on what I wanted up there. When I commissioned my first Spunk Rock piece a vision began. I decided to create a kinky, feminist ode to myself. If that sounds conceited, I don’t care. It’s a private part of my house. My bold proclamation is for me.
Which leads me to my newest pretty. This gorgeous water colour is by Mia Macauley . She reproduced one of my all time favourite selfies. I am in love. Hot curves, delicious rolls & leopard print knickers too. I cannot wait to get me up on the wall.
1. My BFF’s baby turned 1 year old. I’m still not sure I completely believe it. It feels like it’s been a whisper of time since we welcomed her into world. Her first birthday party was as delightful as she is. I am excited to watch her grow. I’m also beyond thrilled to my bestie so utterly happy.
2. The leaves are doing their magical autumn thing & turning all the beautiful burnished tones. I love this season. I love trees. I love when Mother Nature starts doing her thing.
3. As the nights turn chilly the tv heats up. This year the bar has been set high. The Bodyguard & Killing Eve smashed it. Upping the game for proper must see tv. The return of No Offence has filled the Joanne Scanlon sized whole in my life. With Line of Duty on the way back soon I may never leave the house again. What do they all have in common, incredible intelligent female leads. It is fucking lovely to see so many strong fully formed parts for women. Oh & a good Glaswegian showing too.
4. My big brother also had significant birthday this year. I can’t say I’m that happy that he’s turned 40 because it means it’s proper looming for me. I am however delighted that he threw such a good party.
5. Tess Holliday rocking the cover of Cosmopolitan. Here’s the thing, I’m not actually a massive Tess fan & I’m definitely not a Cosmo fan at all, but I still love her cover. It’s progress. The photograph was a joyful declaration that fat women aren’t going anywhere. We exist, we are accomplished, beautiful, strong, diverse & we deserve representation. Also, Piers Morgan still has his knickers in a twist about. Upsetting Piers is always a plus (see what I did there???).
6. The nights may be drawing in, but they’re doing it in style. The last few weeks have produced some stunning sunsets. I was lucky enough to capture this beauty.
7. Then there was that day that I woke up with a bloody gorgeous arse. A very different view, but no less impressive.
8. I suspect I’m late to the party again with this one. Better late than never though. I only recently discovered Cigarettes After Sex and have fallen completely in love. Their music is ethereal, sensual & poignant in equal measures. Do yourself a favour & add them to your playlist.
9. September 18 will go down in history as the month that I finally mastered the glittery smokey eye. It took almost 4 decades, but just look at this magnificent artistry.
20. Which brings me nearly to my final entry; my birthday. On Saturday I will turn 38. Yup, that’s scary. I plan to celebrate the hell out of it anyway. Stay tuned for birthday hi jinx.
Recently, something has been getting on my wick. It started a few weeks ago when I overheard some boys talking on a bus. They were discussing their weekend exploits & one boy said that he’d pulled a certain girl. One of his mates said ‘ but, she’s fat’ to which the original lad replied that fat girls let you do anything. Much laughter ensued. Those pathetic fat girls are just so funny. Succumbing to any sexual pressure because no one else might ever want them ha ha ha
Ever since then I’ve been noticing the fat jokes more. Comedians, films, Facebook, they’re everywhere. All basically saying the same thing; fat women are not sexy. People only sleep with us because they’re desperate or for a bet or because we’ll be so incredibly grateful we will forget how to say no.
I am sexy. Men (& women) desire me. I am chatted up rather a lot actually. I have dated extensively. Some of the folk I’ve been with were seriously hot and shock horror, they thought I was hot too.
My sex life is fantastic. I have all the agency & choice of my thinner sisters. I have never felt thankful that someone deigned to fuck me. I would have nothing to do with a person who entertained such notions.
I am smart, passionate,weird & smoking hot. People are attracted to me for all those reasons. I’m a whole person with lots to offer & so are you. I want fat girls to know that your romantic/sexual life will be no different from anyone else’s. Do not let popular culture’s representation of fat get under your skin. You will meet arseholes & sweethearts. They will come on all shapes & sizes. You will have amazing sex & really quite bad sex. People will love you. People will find you utterly beautiful.
You do not have settle. Do not put up with anyone who makes you feel less than. You deserve love, passion, companionship & fun. Believe me, you will get it.
The past has week has been busy, but fun. I have been writing up a storm, hosting a birthday party for a friend, baking, puppy sitting, Facetiming my girl, painting my nails & joining the #bootyrevolution.
I have a body positive piece in The Swag Guide, I’d love it if you took a look. The Swag Guide is a scottish blogger magazine & it is fantastic.