cringe

A hit that’s a miss

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

A few months ago someone recommended a book. They were so effusive that I added it to my ‘to be read’ pile. Then I forgot about it until I started seeing trailers for It Ends With Us. The ads intrigued me & sparked a memory of that book I was urged to read.

I don’t do many full on book reviews, but this Colleen Hoover’s It Ends With Us left me with things to say. The buzz about the movie certainly peeked my interest & probably made me want to add my tuppence too.

We can start with the positive. It is a compelling story. Generational trauma, first love, the ascent to adulthood. The author aims to make important points and she hits some of them. The sex scenes are well executed. I actually think it will make a good film.

Now, let’s get to the problems. First up, it’s not well written. The protagonist’s voice gave me the ick from the jump. The story takes her from 15yrs old into adulthood, but the voice does not mature. It is cringey and juvenile. Given the subject matter, it feels uncomfortable. I also had problems with some lazy plotting. Everyone is rich & coincidence abounds. Need help with your business? No problem, a super rich woman who needs distraction & has the exact skills you require will wander into your premises & work for a pittance. Oh & she’s the sister of a mysterious guy you have a huge thing for; crazy.

Then there are those issues Hoover wanted to address. In the Notes from Author, Hoover does admit that although she usually writes for entertainment this novel was intended to educate. I think in her efforts to do that she overshot on two counts. At various points throughout the book I felt like I was reading a PSA. Lily’s internal monologue on how complicated domestic violence is felt less like someone trying to make sense of trauma & more like educational material. While I absolutely agree with the points being made, it jerked me out of the character’s world. The second over reach was Ryle’s backstory. I felt in her efforts to show how complex intimate partner abuse is she tipped into trying to make him too sympathetic. Especially in contrast to what we know of Lily’s father. For me, there was too much consideration of his past, his feelings, his experience. I understand the motivation behind that, but in my opinion the scales tipped too far at times.

Overall, I’d say skip the book & see the film. Not a sentiment I often express, but I’m a book snob. Colleen Hoover’s writing just doesn’t live up to the hype.

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Take it or Leave it…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

Recently I had what turned out to be naive idea. I was thinking about how I should be getting out more, break out of my routine, stop missing cool things I wanted to see. All good thoughts. Then I got cocky. I thought, hey, maybe I should meet some new people too. Bad thought.

I decided it might be fun to combine fun dating with interesting happenings. Of course I was entirely forgetting how low my tolerance levels are. So, what’s a girl to do? Write about it of course.

Date 1

We’ll call him Grey. Started off very well. We chatted a little online, he was engaging & intelligent. We shared plenty of interests. It didn’t hurt that Grey was handsome in exactly the way I like. When he suggested we check out Books at The Botanic I thought, this guy has potential. Then I spent an hour browsing books with a man who had clearly consumed some toxic pick up guy content. Every title I picked was beneath him. He commented on how surprised he was that I would enjoy ‘typically girlie stuff’ like Jane Austen. There were a couple of jokes about my never having been married. When he wondered if I could ‘strengthen’ my arthritic knees if I didn’t use my walking stick all the time I was done. No man is handsome enough to get away with such patronising bullshit.

Antique green leather bound Jane Austen Novels

Date 2

Cute & quirky, he seemed like fun. We had some enjoyable back & forth. Let’s call him Ha Ha. We met for sushi at a place he suggested. So, it was a surprise to me that he commented on the prices being too high. The chat was good, he was funny. It felt like we were both having fun. Lots of laughs led to cocktails and again, he wasn’t happy about the price tag. I was now officially uncomfortable. I get really embarrassed about this kind of thing. I don’t like to talk about money with people I don’t know well. Bitching about the price of a cocktail in a place you picked, gives me the ick. I drank my margarita & tried to think of a non awkward way to assure him I was happy to pay. I needn’t have bothered, on arrival of the bill he immediately started adding what he had consumed. I told him it was my treat and to ease any weirdness, that he could get the tip. I don’t mind picking up the tab. I could even have tried to get past the cringe. When I saw him placing a one pound coin tip on the table; I was out. That kind of cheapness is an absolute no.

Date 3 & 4

This one is a familiar story. I’m always very up front about my relationship wants. Marriage doesn’t feel like a thing I’m going to be a part of. I’m not even keen on the idea of living with someone. I enjoy my space, I like to make my own decisions. In short, I like my life. I’m in no rush to go turning it all upside down. I’m very much a ‘take it easy’ kind of girl. All of which was A OK with him. Until we hit that 2nd date. Say hello to Mr Fickle.

First date was cool. We went to a really nice tea place. The conversation flowed easily. He complimented more than my appearance. The man was interested and interesting. All good, I was down to see him again. The replay didn’t go so well. All of a sudden Mr Fickle wants to dig into how serious I am about not wanting to get married. He wants to assure me of what a great prospect he is. I keep diverting, but he brings us right back to topics that are not second date material. There wasn’t a third.

Date 5

This one was short and sweet. He’s a guy I briefly worked with a while ago. We’d stayed in touch via social media. He chatted me up a bit and I thought, why not? A query that was swiftly answered when he argued that those Jonah Hill texts were reasonable. I christened him Red Flag & made a sharp exit.

A row of red flags blowing in the wind.

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