I had a busy busy Friday culminating in date night. Sadly for my tired face all that bustle meant I only had about 45 minutes to execute operation pretty. Given the limitations I think I polished up not bad.
You can’t really go wrong with red lips & a high side pony. A taxi selfie sessions hyped me up & I arrived to meet the Toyboy with some pep in my step. We had a munch at a casual Mexican place before heading down a lane for some live music.
The gig was boisterous (see previous post) & my outfit was a new frontier. Yup, I’ve finally succumbed to the crop too revolution. I ordered this skeleton number (size up, it’s small) for Halloween, but couldn’t resist wearing it as soon as it arrived. I styled it with a retro swing skirt because I rather like pairing things that just don’t go together. I finished the look with my faux biker jacket & leopard print lace ups because you might as go all out on the mis match.
Skirt – Lindy Bop
Crop Top – Boohoo
Shoes – Just Fab
I bloody loved it. I’m also delighted with this ‘should be an outtake’ photograph. The TB has managed to grab my feeling myself attitude with this not quite ready pic. It was a fun night that continued with a lot of late night carry on when we got home. It may have taken me all of Saturday to recover, but you’ve got to misbehave sometimes, right?
Part of the reason I’ve been so busy is I have been watching my brother’s dog, Ringo, this week. He has squeezed himself into a cat bed every single night. Bronan watched on in distain as he has never lowered himself to sleep in the thing.
Last night I pretended I was a hip young thing & went to The Twistettes album launch. Of course I am in fact a tired old thing so I didn’t stay until the end, but I did have a very good time. Also, today I’m broken.
The Twistettes are a riotous two piece. Before last night I did not realise they are sisters, somehow this knowledge increases their cool factor for me. The launch party for their new album A Strange Play was exactly the loud feminist event that I expected. Housed in the cellar club space of Stereo (excellent vegan food FYI). The night kicked off with Quotes of the Dead, a very enjoyable cross between 90’s girl attitude & early 00’s goth rock. Their set was followed by the most excellent Leyla Josephine. Her angry, amusing & awesome poetry really made my night. Give me 3mins of non earnest spoken word on the vagina & I’m sold.
Next to take the stage was The Honey Farm, possibly Scotland’s only female rap group. I didn’t expect to enjoy them quite as much as I did. Rap isn’t my preferred genre, but I suppose intelligent women with attitude can make anything agreeable. Girobabies turned out a buoyant performance & then it was time for the main act.
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The Twistettes were absolutely worth tarting my old arse up for. For a two piece they create a tremendous onslaught of sound. Riot Grrrl influence was definitely in evidence with an undercurrent of 90’s indie rock chick. Their lyrics are captivating & I particularly loved the slightly spooky bent of the title track. Original material is intriguing, their encore covers were large & in charge. If powerful talented women are your thing, give this punkish duo a listen.
Last week I received a package that thrilled me. I commissioned a portrait from the incredibly talented Spunk Rock Star. She is an artist I discovered on Instagram & can not get enough of.
My portrait is, of course wonderful. I selected a picture of myself from a few summers ago. I had spent the day on the most beautiful beach with special people and felt completely content. Helen (aka spunk rock) totally captured that serenity. I can’t wait to get it framed & find it a perfect spot to live.
The original photograph
Having a stunning portrait of myself feels very decadent. I can’t recommend it enough. If you want to take my advice, Helen will not disappoint. She also creates super sexy kink art, which I just love. Her Etsy has great sales regularly, you can pick up originals, prints & even these very cool pins. The very best way to support independent artists is to buy their work. I think for a long time I was a little intimidated by the idea of commissioning art, but I am so glad I got over that. I’ve bought some brilliant & unique pieces from artists (mostly found on insta) this year. I definitely intend to continue because it’s doubly satisfying; you get an exceptional hand crafted item & you know you supported someone in doing the thing they love. It’s a good feeling!
On Saturday I had two parties to attend. One big event is enough to stress me out, so a 1st & 40th on the same Saturday had me more than a little worked up. I did actually manage to have fun & I think (hope) I pulled off two cool looks too.
First up was my best friend’s baby’s 1st birthday. I’m in still in shock that my tiny Madison is one already. I honestly feel like I’m living in fast forward. Anyway, she was an adorable birthday girl. Her party was incredibly cute & all the little people in attendance were a delight. Since it was a children’s event I went for a slightly whimsical outfit. All the colours & petticoat as a skirt was my choice.
Petticoat – Lindy Bop
Top – Asos
Cardi – Primark
I know the best babies.
I didn’t have much time to get organised for the next event. So, the plan was to change outfit, amp up the eye make up and reapply my lipstick. I somehow managed to create my dream grey glitter eye including winged liner. Unfortunately as it was a bit of a fluke it’s possible I’ll never recreate it. Thus, I intend to enjoy these pictures incase it never happens again. Clothes wise I settled on a dress I’ve had for years, but only worn once. The Toyboy thinks it looks like a gladiator dress & I’m very ok with that. I’m afraid I didn’t get a full length picture, but you can get a good look here. Another of my siblings turning 40 necessitated the drinking of many shots, which scuppered outfit photos. I did of course document my sexy smokey eyes & fun was had by all. Not least my big bro, who even took the dance floor.
Dress – Asos Curve
Shrug – Monsoon
Happy Birthday Kevin & Madison. Now I need the rest of the month off before I’m ready for the anniversary of my own birth.
This week’s celebrated woman is someone I have the pleasure of knowing. She is a bopo goddess, a thrifting maven, accomplished public speaker & possibly the bubbliest person I’ve ever met. Ladies & Gentlemen, I give you Hayley Angell.
I met Hayley at a blogger event in Glasgow & was instantly impressed by her vintage look. I was also a little intimated by her polished confidence. I don’t find these events very easy. I have a lot of anxiety around new people & situations. I have even more anxiety about hiding my discomfort. The moment I spoke to Hayley I felt more at ease. Her sincere warmth allowed me to collect myself & have a good time.
I obviously immediately commenced following her on social media and have done so since. Hayley’s accounts are bursting with life affirming energy. Her honesty about her body positive journey; discarding control garments, trying new activities & generally enjoying her body is inspiring. She recently discussed her experiences as a plus size women taking burlesque classes. Despite outward proclamations of inclusivity she still felt it was assumed that fat women would be less assured. She got the sense that fatter folk were quietly ushered into the background. It takes guts to be open about this stuff. Even more to be honest about how often we convince ourselves that we belong at the back of class. Thus, she used her Instagram account to launch #stepforward a reminder to all plus size people that we are worthy of taking up space & being seen.
The Body Positive community has given me so much. I always want to say thank you to those who inspire me. I also want to spread their work because I know it can bring others happiness. Hayley is one of those fabulous women who can help you change how you see yourself. She is an insta must follow.
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Bopo aside Hayley is, as I mentioned, a thrifting magician. Her Instagram is worth following for her second hand style alone. If you need tips on trawling the charity shops for fashion gold, Hayley is your woman. If you simply enjoy seeing a person enjoy themselves & clothes, she is still your gal.
I’ve only met Hayley in person once, but I would not be without her online presence in my life. For a shot of genuine self love, go press those follow buttons.
This week’s featured #ootd inspired by the lovely Becky Barnes. She relaunched her #fatpinspiration series on instagram. Basically she posts outfit inspiration from Pinterest & then lots of lovely fat folk post their take on the look.
I loved the idea the minute I saw it & luckily had the perfect outfit. I styled up a cute strappy summer dress with my lovely stuff denim shirt. On Saturday mornings I do some family stuff & spend time with my biggest nephew. Turns out this outfit was ideal for chasing our shadows and making our breakfast into dinosaurs.
Saturday evening held more adult pursuits in the form of date night. After a hectic week at the festival (last instalment of fringe posts coming soon) we opted for a chilled night at the cinema. I decided to take my outfit from day to night with a few switch ups. I wore my dress over my shirt, pinafore style. Added some big jangly earrings, a cute clutch & my faux leather jacket. I really liked the outcome.
Jacket – Simply Be
Dress – Forever21
Shirt – New Look
Clutch – Gift
It was my turn to pick the film & I choose Equalizer 2. I only recently discovered they’d made a film of this and watched the first one the other week. I loved it & was excited for the sequel. I used to watch the old tv series sometimes if my Mum let me stay up late, so I’m fond of the character. It didn’t disappoint. It’s exactly the kind of action movie I like. Proper goodies & baddies, you have to think a bit & it’s bloody without being too brutal. You’ll probably work out the wee twists, but you won’t mind. I love Denzel in this role.
‘I wish I had the guts to wear that’ is a phrase I’ve been hearing in one form or another since I started picking my own clothes. It’s not a sentiment I’ve ever properly understood. Putting on the clothes I like has never struck me as a particularly brave act.
Displaying some early flare
To begin with I felt a bit sorry for people who said it. They would admire whatever item I was wearing before enviously making the proclamation. I pitied that they didn’t know they could wear whatever they liked. There was very little at risk. I’ve been called weird for as long as I can remember, but with very little negative impact. There really isn’t much people can do if you own the label they give you. You say I’m weird, I say I’m proud of it. There’s nowhere for that conversation to go. It’s hard to mock someone who isn’t ashamed of the thing you find laughable. I felt sorry for people who didn’t know that; who worried too much about what other people thought to spread their wings & give it a try.
Burgeoning fashionista in tropical print & side pony.
I got older, experienced more of life & understood their fear a little more. I never felt the need to conform in my life decisions or even my sartorial tastes. I did however learn the weight of societal judgement. Getting fatter proved just how much the world wanted us all to live up to its expectations. I spent too many miserable years feeling the need to hide my too large body. I added scars to the mix & the pressure to keep it all under wraps increased. I finally got what all those people meant when they said they lacked the courage to wear an eccentric outfit. They were just trying to fit in, trying to be good enough. They were simply straight jacketed by a different societal standard. That’s when those comments started to make me mad.
I wasn’t angry at the person saying it (well sometimes I was, occasionally it’s just a bitchy back handed compliment.). No, I was pissed off at all the ridiculous standards we place on each other. Moreso, I was angry at myself for falling for it. You see, I had been right. My original theory of pleasing myself & laughing in the face of judgement was spot on. Having since applied that approach to the areas of my life (& body) that I was taught to dislike, I realise it works. Just as I didn’t have to be ashamed of being the only vegetarian in class or the only kid who wanted to wear tartan tights, I also don’t have to feel bad about my flabby bits. I can wear what I find beautiful & be who makes me happy. Those who seek to bully me still have little impact because I don’t think their idea of beauty is more valid than mine.
This realisation bought my freedom back. With it, an even greater desire to break the stupid limits society places on us. Fitting in is not they key to happiness. Being authentically you, is. I have never lacked friends or adventures. You will always find your people if you hold tight & refuse to compromise the important parts of yourself. Some people will try to attack your willingness to be different. As I already said, it’s really difficult to tear you down when you stand on rock solid ground.
All of which has brought me full circle. I don’t understand why so many people squeeze themselves into boxes that don’t fit. I’m angry that we continue to be taught to conform. I’m desperate to create & consume anything that crushes the idea of rigid norms. And, yes, I still feel sorry for anyone I hear doubting they are brave enough to wear really big glasses or a crop top or head to toe sequins because it really doesn’t require bravery. Nothing very bad will happen if you wear the thing you love. The worst you can expect is a double take from a stranger or an online idiot leaving a comment. Trust me, the joy of having the stunning thing on your body is very much worth it.
So, next time you catch yourself thinking I love it, but I can’t pull it off. Stop. You can. You’ll look amazing. You’ll feel fantastic. You will learn to laugh at fools who try to deride you. Life is too short & the world is too full to limit yourself. Screw the trends. Forget what’s cool. Fuck flattering. Wear what you love & be who you are. You’ll thank me when you feel free.
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On Monday the Toyboy & I headed off for our annual (it’s the 2nd year, that counts, right?) trip to the Edinburgh Fringe. Three days of exhausting, but fabulous adventures ensued.
Our first show of the 2018 fringe was Phil Jupitus is Porky the Poet in Living in A World Where They Through the Ducks at the Bread . That title is quite a mouth full as was some of this show, but in a good way. I’ll be honest, I only really knew Jupitus from Never Mind the Buzzcocks & it turns out I like his poetry much more than I liked that programme. His poetic style is silly & witty & heartwarming. His in between chat is also all of the above. I’m a spoken word/poetry fan, but I think even poetry virgins would enjoy Porky’s words. Oh & bonus I got a free badge that sums me up fairly accurately.
Voodoo Rooms is a perfect example of example of Edinburgh Festival venues. It’s down a lane, riddled with stairs & you’re packed in tight enough to lose circulation in your extremities. We made the mistake of trusting directions of a stranger (male, why can they never admit they don’t know?). We walked around in a massive circle before discovering the venue was about 2 minutes from where we started & on arrival I realised I had actually known where it was all along; I just didn’t know the street name. Anyway, what I’m trying to tell you is this is a quintessential festival experience. Finding most venues will become a magical mystery tour of possibly the least disabled friendly city in the world. Everything is up a hill & 3 dozen stairs. Spoonies beware or budget for a lot of taxis!
We acted the tourist for a little bit; had a lunch from a food truck & bought Edinburgh rock. Then I tortured the TB with outfit pictures before an outfit change & catching up with some Edinburgh based friends. After a few cocktails & much hilarity we headed off to our last show of the day.
The Waverley is just off bottom end of the Royal Mile. It looks like it hasn’t been decorated since 60’s & feels like it might house a tiny part of real festival spirit. In the upstairs room there was a sparse audience & a life size cut out of Billy Conolly declaring ‘This is where I started’. I’m not sure if that’s inspiring or just a kick in teeth to those playing a quiet room, but the woman we came to see gave it a spirited try. Becky Fury (that’s her real name) hinted that she perhaps wasn’t having her best night, but she did have some interesting takes on current state of politics. I suspect the show that emerges from her Edinburgh run will be more polished than Lip Salve for the Soul. In the meantime her Star Wars movie via Corbyn memes was funny. Her visual display of how dehumanisation happens, somehow Hillary Clinton faired worse in polls than terrorists, was insightful. Plus her off the cuff material on my breasts was actually pretty fucking amusing. Anyone who can make ‘that’s how genocide happens’ a punchline & get me to laugh when the size of my tits is publicly discussed has got to have talent. I’d say book early for her 2019 show, it’ll be a cracker.
With only two shows under our belts we grabbed some very expensive fast food & headed back to our apartment. We needed a bit of rest because Tuesday was jam packed. Stay tuned for everything from medieval disco theatre to serial killer book podcasts all viewed with eyes adorned in razor sharp liner.
On Tuesday I took a little trip over to Glasgow’s best thrift store. As usual they had treasures galore. I came away with some excellent finds both old & brand new.
The first 2nd hand piece I picked out was this gorgeous rust coloured metallic skirt. Autumnal tones are my favourite & the weather does seem to be on the turn. Perfect time to don a shimmery earth tone. I’m sure I’ll get around to wearing this one as intended, but yesterday I needed something strapless to pair with a skater skirt. I couldn’t find any of my black tube tops, so I repurposed my new skirt. I rather liked the look. Unfortunately the top looked a little more sheer when photographed than it did in person. You’ll just have to take my word that you couldn’t see my whole bra in real life.
I also treated myself to this beauty from ThingsbyRosana. Glad Rags showcase a selection of local designers for limited periods. All of whom make beautiful things. I’ve actually hankered after one of her brooches since I spotted them on Instagram. I was incredibly pleased to get my hands on this new set of boobs.
I matched my eye make up to my outfit with coppery shades & was all set for date night at the cinema.It was the Toyboy’s turn to pick, so we saw Ant Man & The Wasp. He loved it, I was there for ice blast & reclining chair. Paul Rudd is cute & funny, the usual super hero capers ensue with added shrinking of almost everything. If you’re a Marvel fan I expect you’ll enjoy it as much as the TB did. Otherwise, I wouldn’t rush to see it.
Every now & again I get the urge to poke a hole in myself. My parents were pretty strict on the piercing front; I wasn’t allowed to get my ears pierced until I was 12. All through my early teens I wanted more piercings, but my Mum always said no. When she loosened the body mod reigns when I was around 16/17 I couldn’t wait to get going. I don’t think the pleasure of being able to do whatever I please with my body has ever worn off. Thus, at 37, I still find my self spontaneously deciding that today is the day to stick big needle somewhere.
Specifically, my nose. I already have a septum which I love. Today I felt that it would look even cuter if I added a little stud to my nostril. So, I did. And it does.
I had my piercing done at Central Piercing at Blancolo. I had my scaffold done here quite a few years ago, but they were as professional as I remembered. Everything was spotless. Fresh sterile needles etc were used. The piercer was friendly & efficiency. They did a thorough questionnaire before hand & give everyone a comprehensive after care leaflet (including healing time for your particular piercing). They even offer tonnes of piercings for the bargain price of £10. They get a big thumbs up from me.
Something in the way she moves... 
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