No matter what my Christmas Day plans are, I always dress up. It probably stems from always having a new outfit for the big day as a child. In any case it’s a thing I have continued. This year getting dolled up was actually required.
My brother invited to us have Xmas dinner at the castle he was married in. It’s a beautiful place that holds sentimental memories from childhood and of course his wedding. Of course I spruced myself up for the occasion. This corset top was an impulse sale buy. It felt a little bare, so I popped this little sheer top underneath. I felt pretty good with the resultant look.
Corset Top – Pretty Little Thing Top – Daisy Street Trousers – Elvi
We had a lovely time. The food was gorgeous; best vegan cheesecake I’ve ever tasted. My nephews had fun opening presents and telling crackers jokes. Santa even made a visit to our table.
Boxing Day is Mum’s birthday. Thus we gathered to celebrate at my sister’s. I was ready for a more relaxed outfit. Luckily, Mum had gave me this cosy hoodie the previous day. Much fun was had with my nephew’s new toys. Predictably, I am as bad at switch sports as the real thing.
Hoodie – Gift
I feel very lucky to have so many wonderful people to enjoy the season with. I hope you all had a safe and comfortable Christmas.
If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.
It finally happened, the sun has arrived. We had two whole proper hot sunny days. It did rain yesterday, but that’s Glasgow for you. Anyway, my point is, summer is coming.
With it will come a deluge of diet talk, body shaming and unsolicited opinions. That means it’s time for my annual reminder; we all have a summer body. Everyone deserves to feel the sun on their skin and enjoy the summer. There will be many external voices proclaiming the need to change or hide your body. I implore you to ignore them.
I know it can feel scary to let the world see something you have been taught to believe is bad. I also know that when you release yourself from the fear of judgement it feels goooood. Nothing terrible happens if you go to the park in a sundress with your bingo wings flying free. The truth is most people aren’t paying you that much attention. We’re all busy living our lives. We’re chatting or day dreaming or stressing or thinking about what we need from Tesco. No one is focused on your body or outfit even a fraction as much as you are.
The fuckwits who will stare or comment on a photo are in the minority. Those are not your people. Those are mean, small minded probably deeply insecure folk. Do not give them power over you or your choices. Especially when there is so much at stake.
It’s hard for me to articulate just how much happier I am since embraced the body I’m in. The freedom not just to wear whatever I feel good in, but also to enjoy what I do in those clothes has touched every aspect of my life. There were so many things that I just wouldn’t do. Activities that I love, like swimming or spa days were frought with anxiety. My career was hugely impacted by all the opportunities I didn’t think I could I take. Purely because I didn’t look the way I thought smart, successful people should look. A hot summer was just extended discomfort. Constantly trying to balance not being too hot, with not being too visible. Covering scars, flabby bits, dodging photos, worrying that I’ll embarrass people I care about. I missed so much big and small, pushing things off for a time when I’d weigh less.
Oh how I wish someone could have enlightened years earlier. I’m still fat. I’m still covered in scars. I’m peely wally, stretch marked, my boobs sag. And I’m living life more fully than I ever thought possible. My size and appearance no longer feature in my decisions. No one who matters in my life cares about the number on a scale.
I’m not denying that fat phobia exists. Nor am I saying no one will ever judge you or be unkind. What I am saying is that the joy you gain from being fully present in all of your endeavours far out weighs all that bullshit. Plus, there is no cardigan or floaty top that magically conceals one’s size. Feeling worthy of respect and happiness was my first step in being able to fight for it.
Please let me cut through all the negativity. Wear the shorts. Go to pool. Put on your sexiest outfit and strut your stuff. Our visibility allows other people to step into the light. Trust me, it is lovely out here.
If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.
Yup, you guessed it, it’s my obligatory ‘you’re body is ok’ post. With diet ads hounding every platform & the industry hacks espousing all the usual lies & misinformation. Just in case you don’t hear it anywhere else, I want to say it loud and clear; YOU DO NOT NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT.
You don’t have to work off any festive indulgence. Your liver & kidneys do all the detoxing your body requires. You can move your body in ways that you enjoy with no reference to size reduction. You don’t need an app, course or gym bro to monitor what you eat or how you live. You are wonderful and capable. Your body is incredible.
If the yearly onslaught is inducing a wobble or you are new to body acceptance here are a few basic, but effective tips.
STOP
Stop consuming anything that makes you feel bad. No, I do not mean food. You eat whatever your body needs. What you must cut out is magazines, social media, films etc that give you the idea that you’re not enough. A little trickier, but important is to include people in this step. Create boundaries around weight loss/body critical talk. Enforce them. I cannot articulate how big a difference this made to my self esteem. When you are constantly bombarded with the message that there is something wrong with your size, it sinks in.
SWAP
Replace all that negative chatter with joyful body positive content. Fill your feeds with happy fat people living their lives to the max. Educate yourself on fat politics. Learning how wrong the things we’re taught about fat bodies are is a revelation. As is witnessing people with bodies like yours succeeding.
DISCOVER
Explore your body. Look at yourself. Discover how you look in different clothes, in your undies, naked. Let yourself see what you like. Question what bothers you about the parts that you don’t. Practise being kind to yourself. Appreciate the magic of all that your body allows you to do. Touch yourself. Get comfortable with your softness. You will be amazed at how many aspects of your body you already know have value.
Of course unlearning a lifetime of conditioning will take time & work, but these are tried & tested first steps. You are more than enough. Go forth & love yourself.
If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.
Something in the way she moves... 
You must be logged in to post a comment.