Who wants to be a millionaire?…

It occurred to me recently that had I ever followed through with my invention I may be rolling in it by now. I know I don’t seem like high powered entrepreneur, but I’ve actually had a few amazing ideas that turned into real money spinners. Join me as trawl through the ideas I should have got a patent for!

The Vajazzle

Yes. Really. Way back in 1999 I came up with that idea. I welcomed a boyfriend back from a trip at Xmas time with a glittery festive shape instead of a landing strip. It was a hit. A mere decade later those damn Essex girls stole my idea and made a mint.

ly is naked holding her boobs.  There are lovehearta hiding her breats and a sign  saying nothing to see in front of her vulva

Folding Flats

You know those clever little ballet flats that fold into a tiny pouch? My best friend and I had that idea in the 90’s too. Sick of walking around barefoot holding our heels after a night out we drunkenly came up with fold away shoes. As with most 4am ideas we did no follow through. A few years later some other more committed bugger actually made them. Another money making opportunity missed.

Nail Art

Oh I know, this seems unlikely. It’s still true. I’ve been painting designs on my finger nails since my early teens. Granted, I wasn’t always good at it, but I was absolutely doing it before it was a thing. My little sister even got in on the act way before any professional salons started offering it. We were trailblazers. These days we both pull off amazing nails, but other folks are raking in the cash.

Pale pink and blue manicure with half pink/half blue love hearts n

Armery

In the early 2010’s Mary Portas Lauched her Armery collab with Charnos (many brands have had similar designs since). She claimed it was her revolutionary idea, sleeves that could be worn under anything for women who didn’t want bare arms. Well, once again, I beg to differ. Portas was not the first to think this up. Myself & many other self harmers had been taking scissors to tights to fashion an identical product forever. Necessity is the mother of invention. Hiding the tell tale signs of our terrible secret had us innovating long before Mary. It’s pity some of us didn’t get together and launch the idea.

Torso of model wearing black vest and blue Armery sleeves

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Merry & Bright…

As I said in my previous post, I have been on the struggle bus recently. My stupid body has been making it difficult for me to get a whole bunch of things done. This has left me clinging even tighter to the things that I can master. Since one of things also offers an opportunity to sprinkle a lot festive spirit, I have been diving right into it. Thus, I give you even more xmassy nails.

I did this manicure at around 3am because pain woke me up & couldn’t get to sleep. I was exhausted and so the design is fairly random. Still pretty jolly!

Frosty White – Marks & Spencer
Everything Else – Barry M

Next up was was an icy blue set. I’ve been trying to get snow flakes right for the last two christmases. I think this year I finally nailed it. Do you agree?

Pale blue manicure with the white sparkly snow flakes design
Barry M

I’m currently sporting this lovely glittery design. Another mix & match inspired by various festive bits. I like them, but have managed to break one nail & chip another already. The brushes will be coming out again tomorrow.

Festive manicure. Frosty white nails with glittery red diagonal stripes
Frosty White – Marks & Spencer
Everything Else – Barry M

Bronan remains entirely struggle free. Oh to be a cat.

Black cat with white paws and nose lying belly up  on blankets

Must be the season of the witch…

The crisp chilly peak autumn weather hasn’t lasted long this year. We’re only half way through October and it’s already freezing rain most days. What’s a girl to do on dreary dark night? Spooky nails of course!

It’s not Halloween without a cobweb or two. Add some sparkle & it’s creepy chic.

Spider web manicure. Sparkly black webs on white background

Black cats are supposed to be bad luck, but I felt blessed with these cheeky darlings on my finger tips.

Blsck cat faces &  tails popping out of purple & green frames  manicure

As a 90’s bitch I can never resist paying homage to my favourite scary movie. Blood & ghost face are a striking look.

Scream themed manicure

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Have a Holly, Jolly & Safe Xmas…

Christmas is coming at us fast, but I’m still lacking in merriment. Between feeling rotten and almost everything xmassy being cancelled I’m struggling to feel the cheer.

So, I’ve turned the festive up on my lockdown. I’ve trimmed the tree, festooned everything in twinkly lights & all my presents are beautifully wrapped. I’m particularly pleased with my little robins.

Faux green Xmas tree with white lights & gold decorations
Xmas presents wrapped in white & good paper with red ribbons & tiny robin red breast decorations
Gift wrap – Marks & Spencer

I have launched a festive nail frenzy. Every glittery & gilt polish has been pressed into service.

Gold nails with green & red wreath accent nail
Shimmery white nails with blue Xmas trees and sparky snow flake
Red and green candy stripe nails with white snow flake accent

The ultra cosy bedding is on. The Christmas scents are go. I even put some real clothes on & venture out with a cheeky wee elf.

Bell jar lamp, candles &  framed photographs on antique table
Candle – Aphrodite & Ares
Soft grey fleecy bedding on king size bed
Ly wearing polka dot dress, leopard print cardi &  face mask with toddler in elf outfit
Dress – Monki
Cardi – Boohoo
Boots – Dr Marten
Mask – Rosana Exposito

I’ll be seeing more of my little ones over the next week and I’m certain watching them open presents will top up my seasonal joy. It’s been a rough year & will likely be a strange Christmas, but I hope you all find safe ways to have holly, jolly time.

Red text  ‘holly, jolly love from me to you’ on black background with gold stars

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It must have been the mistletoe…

I’m usually a stickler for leaving Christmas until December. I get started on the shopping, but the tree et all must wait. This year has been an aberration in so many ways and I needed a little cheer. The tree has been up for a week.

Now it is time for my manicure to get in on the act. Since I won’t be having any actual parties any time soon, I’ve thrown a festive nail party. This is my first attempt at a disco ball & I’m loving it.

Xmas nail art.   Glitter ball and mistletoe on green background

Present wrapping is my next Xmas distraction. I have an idea that I hope will be as pretty in reality as it is in my head.

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Tits the season…

It’s not xmas without a bit of velvet. This year I have been eyeing up various wide leg velvety trousers. I love the look, but I rarely wear trousers, so I’ve been wary. Well, I finally settled on an excellent pair & today I wore the hell out of them.

I don’t know what I was so nervous about. They are bloody awesome. The paper bag high waist is very cute. They’re cosy & comfy. Even better they’re versatile. For my first outing I went casual with my amusing Xmas tee.

Plus size woman in black velvet trs, black t shirt & yellow cardi

Trousers – Elvi

T- Shirt – The Paper Press Ireland

Cardigan – Asos

Boots – Gift

All black was a little too calm for me so I flung on the brightest cardi I own & stuck some glittery baseball boots on my feet. I absolutely love these boots. They were a gift from my Mum a couple of years ago. Unfortunately neither of us can remember where she got them.

ly h Kerr Xmas t shirt

Earrings – Accessorize

This year’s take on the Xmas jumper is wee bit cheeky (like me). I got plenty of compliments on my ‘Tits the season’ message. I’ll be donning these velvet beauties again for the big day. Stay tuned for the luxe styling.

Follow that star…

Can you believe Christmas Day is next week? I can’t. It seems to have come round really quickly this year. Luckily I’m all set. Presents are bought & wrapped, cards are sent & fridge is stocked. All that’s left is to show you some more pretty nails!

Kicking off with some divinely glittery baubles. These ones were a nice easy manicure for a busy week.

Xmas nail art. Glitter baubles on green base

Followed by a more complex, but no less festive Xmas light design. Loving my wee snowy tree on the accent nail.

Xmas nail art. String lights on blue & white background

Finally, my current look. Holographic glitter stars. These ones look simple, not they took forever. Those stars are made up of lots of tiny little pieces of glitter. I started with blue & white, but wasn’t happy. So, I striped them off and tried again with the holographic glitter🍗Worth the effort, when they catch the light they look awesome. Xmas nail art. White & blue glitter stars on red base Xmas nail art. Holographic glitter stars on green sparkly base

Now I just need to decide if I’m keeping this for the big day or squeezing in one more design.

Treetops glisten…

It wouldn’t be Christmas without some sparkly nail art. My favourite manicures are themed. Thus, I give you the first instalment of glittery fingers.

I eased into the season with some festive tartan. I know really want some red & gold tartan attire.

Tartan nail art

I turned up the Xmas volume with my next mani. Mixing a swirly tree with a cute little present. All on a base of gorgeous glossy burgundy with a sprinkling of glitter.

Xmas tree nail art gold on burgundy

I am currently sporting these cute baubles with a whole load of glitter. In December you need all the twinkle.

Xmas bauble nail art glitter on green

It’s almost time to change. What should I have next?

A face like that…

If, like me, you find your vision is increasingly weak with each passing year you will understand the importance of excellent specs. The entire world is just a messy blur when I remove my glasses. Thus, I have to wear them every second I wish to actually see. As a person who finds it difficult to commit to one style, a permanent accessory can be tricky. Enter Where.light, the answer to all my spectacle prayers.

Folk always think I’m getting paid to talk about Where.light because I’m so enthusiastic. I’m not; they’re just that good. They have the widest range of frames (from plain to me & beyond) at the most reasonable prices. The prescription lenses are spot on and they’ll even do you tinted prescription for hardly any extra. If you wear glasses and you don’t check them out you are a fool.

ly h Kerr glasses

Anyway, In times of flux I reach for new frames like others reach for a new hair do. My hair is unchanging, my face fashion can always be shaken up. This time I opted for really big, really bright & kind of sparkly. I’m in love.

ly h Kerr big specs

Snow is falling…

It’s been a fast year, but December has really put its foot down. We are riding swiftly towards the big day, which means it is time for more festive primping & seasonal giving.

It’s the third week of Xmas (advent, whatever), so it’s it apt that it took three attempts to get my nails right. I really wanted to be adorned in delicate sparkly snowflakes, but try as I might, I could not pull it off.

ly h Kerr nail art

Each attempt was clumsier than I wanted. In the end I abandoned my snowy vision & opted for some glittery presents. You can’t go wrong with a well wrapped gift, right?

ly h kerr nail art

This week I turned my charitable attentions to Glasgow Women’s Aid. An organisation doing wonderful work with women & children who have been affected by domestic abuse. Women’s aid provide a number of services from refuge centres to training for service users & therapy for their children. Two women a week are killed by their partner or ex partner in the UK, so it is vital that women (& their children) have access to this help. You can help in a number is ways. A donation can be made via the website or you can follow your local Women’s Aid on social media for updates on what goods, clothes etc are required. Often women have to leave everything behind and start from scratch, so please check before you throw away anything that could still be useful. Obviously at this time of year toys & treats are most welcome. Even small donations can change lives.

If Bronan can suffer the indignity of being cat Santa, you can get your purse out.