I’ve been bogged down in the day to day of late. Very little excitement. Lots of drudge. This time of year tends to be a bit like this for me.
The miserable weather makes me want to hunker down a little. This results in me kicking about the house in my comfies much of the time. Every now and then I need a wee treat to remind me it’s fun to put an outfit together. This month’s push were these amazing snag tights.
I love snags. There is nothing worse than constantly having to haul your tights up & snags don’t budge. This pair is a fine wool, so cosy without being bulky. I think they look adorable with this dress & t-shirt. Probably even better with a slinky wee evening number. Should I ever embark on a night out again I’ll be sure to give them a bash.
If you like what I do you can support me on Patreon.
It’s a new year and I have a two new favourites. Both were Xmas presents and I am in love.
My new favourite dress is t shirt dress with a twist. This makes it incredibly comfortable and easy to wear. With the bonus of making my curves look banging. If it is available in other colours/prints, I am buying all of them!
Dress – Asos
My second fav are these wonderful jammies. They are so soft and wonderfully comfy. The fold down waist allows me to accommodate my belly comfortably at even its most extreme pcos bloat. Plus I look cute in them. I honestly would wear them everyday if I could.
Pyjamas – Next
I’ve had a slow start to January, so the jammies have had more wear than the dress. I’m gearing up now, so more fun outfits are coming soon.
If you like what I do you can support me on Patreon.
No doubt everywhere you look you’re seeing lists of achievements, New Year’s resolutions and diet talk. Of course, I am here to interrupt all that bullshit.
For starters, you are not required to have a list of great successes. Some years are a hard slog. We all have different obstacles. For that matter we also have different goals and aspirations. Some folk are happy with their status quo and that is perfectly fine. If you’re worrying about your wins not being big or plentiful enough, please don’t. You made it & that’s enough. I don’t care if you didn’t get a big promotion or a new house, you did do every single day. You took care of yourself (& anyone else you’re responsible for), you paid the bills & made the dinners. You were also there for people in your life, you celebrated birthdays and talked through tough times. You are important, you matter in your everyday life. In the words of Self Esteem, ‘all the days you get to have are big days’. So congratulations, you have completed another turn around the sun. I’m certain you’ve had more impact than you know.
Let’s move along to the resolutions. If there are things you want to do by all means set a goal, make a plan. However, you are not obligated to change or become ‘better’ just because we entered a new year. Chances are you already have a whole heap of stuff piled on your plate. Perhaps you’re struggling to digest all that last year brought. Or maybe you’re half through a project or plan. It’s all good. Jan 1st doesn’t really signify anything. Just keep going.
Finally we come to my most disliked new year pressure; weight loss. You are going to be with adverts, influencers and people in your life telling you about their diet. Everyone will have the answer. This new medication, plan, supplement is the real thing. Let me save you a lot of trouble, it’s all crap. It’s the same thing repackaged and trying to convince you it is the answer to all your problems. Diets don’t work. Deep down we all know that. The vast majority of people regain anything shed via intentional weight loss. In fact, most of us add a bit extra too. What’s more, making your body smaller doesn’t fix anything inside you. It’s not a magic wand. In case you don’t hear it anywhere else, I’m going to say it; your worth is not tied to your weight.
You can live your life right now. Shrinking your body is not required. You do not have to for indulging over the festive season. Nor do you have to put anything on hold until you are smaller. Health and weight loss are not the same thing.
In short, you are enough. I hope you feel that and take it into 2025.
If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.
No matter what my Christmas Day plans are, I always dress up. It probably stems from always having a new outfit for the big day as a child. In any case it’s a thing I have continued. This year getting dolled up was actually required.
My brother invited to us have Xmas dinner at the castle he was married in. It’s a beautiful place that holds sentimental memories from childhood and of course his wedding. Of course I spruced myself up for the occasion. This corset top was an impulse sale buy. It felt a little bare, so I popped this little sheer top underneath. I felt pretty good with the resultant look.
Corset Top – Pretty Little Thing Top – Daisy Street Trousers – Elvi
We had a lovely time. The food was gorgeous; best vegan cheesecake I’ve ever tasted. My nephews had fun opening presents and telling crackers jokes. Santa even made a visit to our table.
Boxing Day is Mum’s birthday. Thus we gathered to celebrate at my sister’s. I was ready for a more relaxed outfit. Luckily, Mum had gave me this cosy hoodie the previous day. Much fun was had with my nephew’s new toys. Predictably, I am as bad at switch sports as the real thing.
Hoodie – Gift
I feel very lucky to have so many wonderful people to enjoy the season with. I hope you all had a safe and comfortable Christmas.
If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.
I know I promised to write about some of the significant things happening in our crazy world, but my own little crazy world has gotten the better of me. I’ve been struggling with a gastro flare & non stop fainting. Both of which have left me exhausted. So, once I have contended with life’s essentials, I have very little left.
I’ve been using any leftover spoons to see my littles and take care of myself. One of the things I can do that makes me feel a tiny bit better is paint my nails. Of course I have been getting spooky with my nail art.
On Saturday I ventured out to the theatre to see my nephew’s Halloween show. The show was fantastic, I was so proud of him. I also took the opportunity to debut my new glasses. I am utterly in love with them.
Glasses – Where LightSkirt – Lindy Bop
Bear with me, more insightful content coming soon.
If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.
The last few days have been a beautiful last gasp of summer. Mother Nature is easing us into spooky season and I love it.
Autumn is my favourite season; I yearn for crisp chilly days, cosy clothes and of course Halloween. Our GlasGlow tickets are already booked and costume pieces have been ordered. This week felt the perfect time to kick off the festivities. My sister, her tiny boy & I all cried Beetlejuice thrice & were transported to Burton world.
I absolutely adored the original. Well, I think I was pretty scared the first time, but I settled into it. Gothy Winona made my little weirdo heart beat faster in the 90’s & I think Beetlejuice may have kick started that. I didn’t have much time, but I really wanted to wear something on theme. My teenage niece used profanities to describe how cute I looked, I consider that a success.
Dress – Forever 21 Skirt & Vest – H&M Kimono – BoohooTeenage approval for an old Auntie.
I very much enjoyed wearing those over the knee socks. Having them peak out from under the lace is a look. Luckily I have quite a lot of sheer dresses, expect to see more of them. They are actually compression socks to help with Pots symptoms. Plus Sock miraculously make the only comfortable compression socks I have ever worn. Spoonie boon!
Over the Knee Socks – Plus Socks *
Beetlejuice Beetlejuice was a hit with us. I loved that they kept the style of the OG. No high tech cgi, it felt right. Cast are fab, costumes incredible and lots of dark laughs. The juice is loose and I’m here for it.
* previously gifted.
If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.
I hear tell that the ‘skinny trend’ is back. With it a theory that is not new, but is perhaps just occurring to some. Namely, that when women begin to believe in their power skinny returns to divert & exhaust our energies.
I don’t disagree entirely. The preoccupation with the size and appearance of women is certainly rooted in control. As Naomi Wolf wrote ‘a culture fixated on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty, but an obsession about female obedience’. Now, of course we can add the money to be made from convincing vast swathes of the population that they must lose weight. So, yes, thin is a tool to distract and diminish. The rest of the story is, it never goes away.
As a fat woman I know that skinny is never a trend. Thin has been the beauty standard my entire life. The degree of thinness may change, but fat is never the societal goal. The body positive movement has certainly made strides, but we are far from the majority opinion. As fat voices began to break through the message was quickly diluted. Brands adopted body liberation for cache without actually using diverse models or really extending their sizes. An hour glass white women with a flat stomach in a size 18 is not fat representation. Likewise, all the straight sized chicks contorting their bodies to create a fat roll is not #bopo. Meanwhile actual fat bodies are censored on social media. We aren’t even permitted to be centred in our own movement. Which makes it difficult for me to see when thin wasn’t in.
I was a teen in 90’s. I lived through heroin chic and I’m not convinced it felt substantially different to any other point in my timeline. I was slim then, but I never felt small enough. A feeling that stayed with me throughout my various size incarnations until my 30’s. I have observed no change in weight stigma over that time. The consensus has always been that fat is unhealthy & unattractive. Skinny has been the ideal whether Kate Moss or Kim Kardashian was reigning supreme.
No one is changing their diet or taking supplements to gain fat. There have never been articles in magazines advising how to quickly get a belly. Fat women have always faced discrimination across the board. We were & remain pilloried in media and life. A slight shift in the type of thin body most desired is not substantive. It is the same control, in a moderately tweaked package.
The real difference is perspective. If you have the privilege of living in a societally accepted body, the return of super skinny feels like a threat. Now you’re going to be pressured to shrink. You will see your image represented less. In short, you’re going to notice. Personally it makes no difference if the ideal is size 0 or size 12. I’m always too big. I will always be perceived negatively by many people. I don’t relish the return of a romanticised gaunt aesthetic. I’m just saying what all fat women know, the skinny trend is perpetual.
If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.
Yesterday was one of those ugh days. I had a couple of medical appointments and a few errands to run. I was tired and sore, but it was a sunny day, so off I set.
My mood took the first knock when my taxi driver has a rant about how short my journey was. Granted I wasn’t going far, but I can’t get about on foot. If I want to go somewhere, I need a taxi. Next up was a rude & unhelpful woman in the chemist. She made it very clear that finding my prescription was an inconvenience. Much huffing, puffing and snarky comments ensued, which drew stares from other customers. The final nail in the coffin of my day was the hospital receptionist who would not source a chair for me, but also got angry when I sat on the floor. Sitting on the floor is hazard, but passing out because I cannot stand apparently is not.
Rubbish day, but not the end of the world, right? If these were isolated incidents I would probably just brush them off. The problem is, it happens all the time. Being a disabled person out in the world can be a challenge. Accessibility is a problem, but even requests for basic accommodations can be met with irritation. On some level, I understand that. Work can be exhausting, maybe you’re having a bad day and being asked for something extra could just tip you over. However, most of my life is exhausting. I don’t make these requests to be awkward, I need them.
The result is I get apologetic. I begin my request with ‘I’m sorry, but’ or ‘I don’t want to be pest, but’. I feel like an inconvenience for asking. I anticipate that my accessibility request may not be well received. Listen, inside I often feel like getting arsey. My natural demeanour is not push over. I just know it won’t help. I also rarely have the energy for the fight. Thus, I find myself simultaneously pissed off at being made to feel bothersome & apologising for the perceived trouble.
I don’t need any help on the guilt front. I already feel like a burden to people that matter. Is it too much to ask that strangers don’t make me feel like shit? My needs are very straightforward; a seat mainly. I dread to think how anyone with a more complex requirement fares. All I’d ask is that before you roll your eyes or have a moan consider that this a moment of inconvenience for you is a lifetime of fuckery for us. Maybe you could just zip your lips and grab a chair after all?
If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon .
It finally happened, the sun has arrived. We had two whole proper hot sunny days. It did rain yesterday, but that’s Glasgow for you. Anyway, my point is, summer is coming.
With it will come a deluge of diet talk, body shaming and unsolicited opinions. That means it’s time for my annual reminder; we all have a summer body. Everyone deserves to feel the sun on their skin and enjoy the summer. There will be many external voices proclaiming the need to change or hide your body. I implore you to ignore them.
I know it can feel scary to let the world see something you have been taught to believe is bad. I also know that when you release yourself from the fear of judgement it feels goooood. Nothing terrible happens if you go to the park in a sundress with your bingo wings flying free. The truth is most people aren’t paying you that much attention. We’re all busy living our lives. We’re chatting or day dreaming or stressing or thinking about what we need from Tesco. No one is focused on your body or outfit even a fraction as much as you are.
The fuckwits who will stare or comment on a photo are in the minority. Those are not your people. Those are mean, small minded probably deeply insecure folk. Do not give them power over you or your choices. Especially when there is so much at stake.
It’s hard for me to articulate just how much happier I am since embraced the body I’m in. The freedom not just to wear whatever I feel good in, but also to enjoy what I do in those clothes has touched every aspect of my life. There were so many things that I just wouldn’t do. Activities that I love, like swimming or spa days were frought with anxiety. My career was hugely impacted by all the opportunities I didn’t think I could I take. Purely because I didn’t look the way I thought smart, successful people should look. A hot summer was just extended discomfort. Constantly trying to balance not being too hot, with not being too visible. Covering scars, flabby bits, dodging photos, worrying that I’ll embarrass people I care about. I missed so much big and small, pushing things off for a time when I’d weigh less.
Oh how I wish someone could have enlightened years earlier. I’m still fat. I’m still covered in scars. I’m peely wally, stretch marked, my boobs sag. And I’m living life more fully than I ever thought possible. My size and appearance no longer feature in my decisions. No one who matters in my life cares about the number on a scale.
I’m not denying that fat phobia exists. Nor am I saying no one will ever judge you or be unkind. What I am saying is that the joy you gain from being fully present in all of your endeavours far out weighs all that bullshit. Plus, there is no cardigan or floaty top that magically conceals one’s size. Feeling worthy of respect and happiness was my first step in being able to fight for it.
Please let me cut through all the negativity. Wear the shorts. Go to pool. Put on your sexiest outfit and strut your stuff. Our visibility allows other people to step into the light. Trust me, it is lovely out here.
If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.
It’s been a mixed few weeks. The Easter holidays presented lots of opportunities for auntie time. Unfortunately, my body has seized every opportunity to mess with me.
My first Easter adventure was a trip to The Burrell Collection. I spent a lot of time here as a kid and always enjoyed it. It is so nice to share it with the next generation. The boy absolutely loved all the swords and armour. I loved watching him explore.
The Burrell is really good on the accessibility front. Wide flat spaces that are easy to manoeuvre. Plenty of places to sit throughout, plus light weight stools you can carry around with you. Spacious lifts to all floors. It is a stunning buildings, with exhibits to entertain all ages.
As you know, I’m big into my glasses. I can never have enough. Thus, I was delighted to collab with Firmoo. These blue beauties have been on my face since the moment they arrived.
Glasses – Firmoo *
Next up was a little dip with my bestie & her brood. Swimming is my favourite, not least because I can properly carry on with kids. In the water I can move with ease. It feels so good not to be in pain every second. It’s even better to play a shark, spin the kids, help them ‘swim’. Much fun was had even if my littlest niece was frustrated that she needed to hold on to me. She was determined that she could do it herself and was not convinced when I explained that she couldn’t swim. Swimming with littles requires clothes that can be easily pulled on whilst squeezed into a tiny changing room with a wiggly child. These wide legs were perfect.
Trousers – Pockets and Sedition Cardigan – Monsoon
A few days later I was back with the treesome for the twin’s birthday. I can’t believe they are three already. It’s a cliche, but kids really do grow too fast! I still call these two babies, which is wishful thinking. They are so smart & funny & full of love. It is an honour to be part of their lives. We had a classic children’s party; balloons, cake & pass the parcel. It was a joy.
On the flip side my insomnia is in full force. Tossing & turning for hours every night is torture. I lie there exhausted, but feeling this horrendous unsettled sensation all over. The more I dwell on this physical embodiment of anxiety, the further away sleep gets. Every day feels like wading through mud. Surviving on minuscule amounts of sleep is the absolute worst.
When my body isn’t refusing to sleep, it’s passing out. Pots is kicking my arse. My latest fainting disaster resulted in two small fractures of my hand. The good news is that the bones are fast healing. The bad is that it is my walking stick hand and weight bearing is not easy. I’m feeling overwhelmed about how this is going to impact my mobility. Fingers crossed the predicted 3 weeks healing time is correct.
I might have to wear an ugly splint, but my nails look great.
Thankfully Bronan is always around for snuggles. A purring cat is a great stress reducer.
* Use my code Kerr50 for up to 80% off.
If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.
Something in the way she moves... 
You must be logged in to post a comment.