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Caught in a trap…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

I’m stuck. Chronically stuck, you could say. My body has been refusing to behave for months. I’m operating at minimum capacity & maximum exasperation.

My pain levels are high and brain fog is impenetrable, but I also have a variety of ‘bonus’ complaints. This is a thing my body seems to do when I am particularly run down. A change in medication from injectable to oral about 18mths ago resulted in some messed up test results late last year (I had been against the change, but hey, what do I know?). Around the same time I had a bad cold that would not shift (definitely wasn’t covid) and culminated in Labyrinthitis. I was fairly lucky with that as I didn’t have pain, but the vertigo & nausea stuck around for ages. Into the new year the impact of that med change has made all my Long Covid symptoms more pronounced. The fatigue was never ending, a few steps left my heart rattling & my lungs crying out for air. Add a uti that quickly turned into a kidney infection. Then the three weeks of treatment required to correct the impact of changing the delivery of that medication left me vomiting all day & unable to eat. That of course messed up my electrolytes and landed me in hospital hooked up to a drip to get me back in shape. All in all it has been rough and I have struggled to get anything at all done.

That’s where feeling stuck comes in. There are so many things I want to get done. From big career moves (finish the book) to everyday task (mop the floors) it feels like everything is on hold. I am so exhausted and sore and foggy brained that it really is baby steps all the way. I write to do lists that are never completed. Every task takes a ridiculous amount of time. Proof reading each email you send three times cuts into available working time. If I put some washing in the machine, I need to rest. Some days a shower will be all I can manage. Spend a day out of the house and I need two or three days to recover. The ‘to dos’ get longer, the ideas go unexamined and I am trapped by all the unfinished everything.

It’s impossible to break free. There are things that could make my life easier, but they are of course costly. Usually a person could take on extra work, get a side hustle, but I can’t keep up with the bare minimum. If one has a deadline they could work all night. However, I can barely get through an afternoon without a lie down. Pushing myself to keep going not only results in less than my best work, but also puts me out of work entirely for days. Chronic illness pens me in. I can’t afford to buy the services & items that would make my life easier. The lack of those things contributes to worsening symptoms and limiting my ability to earn. See how it goes around & around?

I also feel welded to the spot. There are jobs I would love to accept, projects I badly want to complete, but I just don’t have the capacity at the moment. Thus, my career feels stagnant, it is heart wrenching to so badly underperform. My life is similarly entrenched. I want to see more people, have nights out, try new things. Of course, I can’t. My body simply will not allow it. I am so tired of saying no or rescheduling. It’s a no win situation my mental health suffers from being home alone so much. My physical health declines if I do too much. Again, the balance seems impossible to get right.

Finally, there is the mundane. I’d really like to have an empty washing basket. I want to be able to spend a day tidying the spare room. Instead, I do ten minutes a day for weeks and never quite get it done. It would be lovely to go out spur of the moment; but having a shower and putting on clothes can wipe me out. I never thought I would long to walk to the corner shop for cat food. Yet, here I am stuck in my house unless I can get a taxi or a lift. It is exhausting and demoralising. There is no easy way out. All I can do is wait and hope that I feel a bit better soon. I ran out of patience a long time ago.

An hour glass with iron filings

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An ideal husband…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

In real life I have discovered that I’m just not the marrying kind. Gone are days of planning what flowers & venue I’d like. Except of course in my fantasies. I know I don’t want the traditional set up in reality, but I could definitely live happily ever after with these fictional husbands.

Frankie Boyle

I’ve taken a tip from Joey & Chandler and gone local. Frankie is Glasgow born & bred. He lives here, we share a cultural background, we would understand each other’s accents. Obviously, he’s hilarious which every woman knows is a knicker dropper. He’s also intelligent, thoughtful & socially conscientious. He gives me good partner vibes. In my mind he is the perfect mix of old school Glasgow & talk weird poetry with you all night guy. Total fantasy husband material.

Bearded, smiling man in thee piece tweed suit

Ian Hislop

My Hislop love is no secret. This man’s wit & intelligence knock me out. You can see him striving to maintain integrity while he uncovers the lack of it in others. He’s been married to the same woman for a long time; proof of husband material abilities. Ian will say his shit right to whoever’s face and that’s a quality I am into. There’s also a supreme underlying confidence which I believe all adds up to literal big dick energy. I do, I really do.

Laughing man in a suit with arms crossed

Pete Davidson

Pete is a change of pace. I have only recently become aware of his existence when the internet went wild about him bagging hot ladies. I wondered who this dude was & why everyone was so shocked. Ten mins googling & some YouTube videos later I was smitten. I totally get it. His gangly honesty is appealing. This is a man who would keep you laughing & be delighted to follow your lead. I can handle a bit of chaos. The Kardashian thing is a problem, but hey, this fantasy.

Smiling man in black suit and tie with plantinum blonde hair

Kevin Whatley

Or more specifically Inspector Lewis, the character he played. Lewis is your classic family man. He adored his wife, couldn’t look at another woman for years after her death. Loving Father, doting grandfather, caring friend & all round nice guy. He has all those cute Dad jokes & soulful eyes. In short, he’s a keeper. The cop thing would be a spanner in the works in real life, but again, we’re in dream land.

Man in light coloured suit sitting on park bench with hands in his pockets

Owen Hunt

My Grey’s Anatomy fav is Owen. I like his intensity. This is not a man with commitment issues. He will marry you at the drop of hat. He’s dying to be a Daddy and he’ll tenderly nurse you through any traumatic event that occurs. All the while saving lives & maintaining a raw ‘do you in the boiler room’ hotness. Forget McDreamy, McSteamy & even Evil Spawn, Hunt is my medical dreamboat.

Red haired man in blue scrubs with arms crossed over his chest

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Nail Break

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

I haven’t shared my quiet little passion for a while, which means it’s time for some nails! I’ve been using the Barry M air collection a lot and I am really loving this formula. So, I thought I’d show the results.

My nails are currently sporting a cute swirly pattern. I’m loving these colours against the pale nude.

Last week I had a wee random moment and just freestyled this design. People seemed to like them, so I might go off book more often.

I seeem to be have been digging the pinky palette because I have had a tonne of manicures in these colours recently. These little crooked hearts might be the best.

Finally I had this smokey/ink in water type look. These are my favourite of the recent manicures.

Feels like home to me…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody. Be you a lover or a hater, I hope you’re having a good day. I’ve always liked it. It’s nice to have day to celebrate love. I mean sure, we should be spreading it all year round. It is still nice to have day dedicated to getting smoochy.

I don’t have one true love this year, but I can still have a little fun with v day. Fun aside, I find this year that I am thinking about someone in particular. Someone I probably ought not to ponder over, but I can’t help myself.

Sometimes you feel a connection to a person even when it makes no sense. You go through the hurt and happy. Back to pain Then more happy. It’s impossible, puzzling & never going to work. You still can’t entirely walk away. Or is this just me?

Cléa Lala

I’m not sure why easy rarely features in my romantic choices. Perhaps I like a challenge. I do know it’s hard to give up on a person who feels like home.

Colour Him Father…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

On Friday we took my dad out for an early birthday lunch. Dad’s birthday is actually Valentine’s Day, which led his Mum to want to name him Valentino. His Father had other ideas and he ended up Hugh. Considering he grew up in 1950’s Glasgow this was probably a good thing, Anyway, he’s a very lovely Dad and we like to treat him.

Lunch in The McMillan, which is fast becoming one of my fav spots called for a cool look. Luckily I still had an unworn Xmas gift that was perfect for the occasion. My excellent little sister gave me this gorgeous leopard print dress. We have very different styles, but she still manages to always pick things that I love.

Ly is wearing a leopard print dress, tights & clogs. She is standing with her hands on her hips.
Dress – ASOS Designers

It’s a super soft fabric and feels so nice. It does show my belly line when I’m moving, but that’s a thing I have been trying hard to be less worried about. Bellies are fine. Bellies are cute. I have been working on not avoiding dresses I love because they are fitted over that area. I don’t have a problem with that bit naked, so why should I care dressed? Body liberation is a continuous process people!

I added a little extra leopard print with my fab kimono because I love a bit of layering. Also it is freezing here. Finished the look with my staple snags.

ly is standing in her living room wearing a Lepard dress and green leopard print kimono
Kimono – Simply Be
Tights – Snag

We had a fun lunch. Food was delicious & company was of course a delight. I can’t believe my Dad is 74, he doesn’t look or act that old. In fact, I’m beginning to think my parents are wearing age better than I am!

ly is seated in a restaurant booth with her Dad.
Glasses – Where Light *
Earrings – Accessorize
The boy learned the art of silly faces & poses from his big cousin.

* If you fancy some Where Light glasses you can use my code (LHK30) for 30% off. (Not sponsored or gifted).

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Put on your party dress…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

I had a big party to attend this weekend. Most of the attendees were 4 yr olds, but it’s still important to look my best. Not to mention I have to keep up my crazy auntie reputation.

My pirate crazy nephew obviously had a pirate themed party. If you have a kid around this age I highly recommend hiring a bouncy cancel. My sister found a cool pirate assault course bouncy thing and the kids were ecstatic. They ran and bounced and pirated all day long!

I opted to wear a party dress because what else does a girl wear to party? I layered up some sheer with opaque and added these excellent tights. I felt cute.

Sheer Dress – Monki
Black Dress – H&M
Tights – Snag
Cardi – Primark

I gave a little nod to the theme with my nail art.

Can we give my sister a round of applause for her incredible cake make skills. My nephew has very specific ideas and she totally nailed it. She is a creative genius.

I live by my own design…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

January has been a slog. It always is, right? It’s cold, we’re skint and coming down from the festive season. It always drags, but we’ve made it through. In the spirit of silver linings I thought I would share the things I enjoyed about Jan ‘22.

Carry On

I spent a lot of time having a good old carry on with my little ones. My 3yr old nephew thrashed me at arcade games. My 4yr old niece decided she only wanted to be in photos if they involved crazy filters. I taught my 2,3 & 5 year old nephews how to play ‘pile on’; their parents were delighted. The twins are now in the move & finding their voices (noisily). Last, but certainly not least my oldest girl has been texting me in French & Russian. What’s not to love about this amazing bunch?

Montage of toddlers & babies having a carry on

Yellowjackets

Stumbled upon this by accident and I’m so glad I did. It’s a bit ridiculous, but also so good. Strong (kinda crazy) female leads, which is totally my jam. Oh & it’s half set in the 90’s. It’s American 90’s which is not quite as good as home style, but still awesome.

Yellowjacket’s promo pic (a close up of a girl with green eyes, a tense expression & a wasp on her face)

The Ordinary

I am a picker. If I have a blemish or a scab or blister I am entirely unable to leave it alone. Thus I have long been in search of product that will reduce blackhead etc and shrink my pores. I think I may finally have found a winner. The Ordinary salicylic acid 2% solution has been having good results. Hopefully it will stop me spending hours in front of my magnifying mirror. The Ordinary are vegan & affordable, so I’m a fan.

The ordinary salicylic acid in a brow glass bottle on tartan background n

Emmy Meli

Another accidental discovery that I am very happy about. Emmy Meli apparently posted the hook on Tik Tok and the went out for some drinks with friends. The next day it gone wild, spurning thousands of videos of women acting out her lyrics. She of course decided to finish the song and it is a massive hit. I first heard it on tik tok and then searched it out online because it was instant love. I am so into how fresh & empowering she is. I love the sound of her voice and how upbeat this song is. I really like how spontaneously this song into life. Emmy at full volume has been helping me get things done all month.

Emmy Meli I am Woman Tik Tok video

Clogs

I’ve always been partial to a clog, but the whole Croc thing put me off. Well, the clogs are back. I found these animal print beauties that are also exceptionally comfortable. I will be buying them in every variety. They’re from Vegan Flats.

Even cooler with clashing socks.

Wilde Mode

Forever in love with this brand. The second I knew there was a new was a new fuck u print I had to have it. These are the bat knickers on the planet. I always feel better knowing I’m wearing my frustrations on my arse!

plus size women wearing wildemode knickers & holding boobs with her hands r
Pants – Wilde Mode
* Brand Ambassador

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The Easy Vegan

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

It has come to my attention that some of my readers would like some vegan tips. Always happy to oblige I got right on it. Which means I now present, the easy vegan.

Nutritional Yeast

Get some. You can pick it up in most supermarkets now. It has a kind of Parmesan type flavour & makes almost everything yum. Pasta, risotto, lentils, potatoes, sandwiches & more. Sprinkle generously. It’s good for you too, great source of b12.

Aquafab

Also known as the water from tins of chickpeas. This can be whipped up & used as an alternative to egg whites. It’s super easy and the final result tastes the same. Meringues, soufflé, mousse; all light & delicious.

Pink & white meringue kisses

Sprouts

Excellent in all forms. Little alph alpha sprouts are crunchy addition to sandwiches. Mung bean sprouts are an amazing to bulk up noodle, rice & veg dishes. Fling them into a pot with a little soy sauce & they’re good to go. Broccoli & Radish sprouts are a tasty topper for salads. They have bite & a unique fresh taste.

Remember Basics

If you work out what alternatives you like for your staples, vegan life becomes much simpler. Here are my favs:

Butter – I’ve never really liked the taste of butter so this was easy for me. I use an olive oil base spread. Most supermarkets have their own version, so it is inexpensive & easy to find.

Cheese – I like a few vegan cheeses, but I’ve found that the best ones are cashew based. There are so many vegan options out there these days, so it’s worth testing to find your favs.

Chocolate- My favourite is Vego. Especially the whole nut hazelnut bar. It is delicious.

Vego hazelnut chocolate on a wooden chopping board

Yoghurt – I do love some yoghurt and I’ve found the best dairy free are the coconut milk ones. They don’t taste like coconut, just much like plain yoghurt & they’re available in loads of flavours. Condensed coconut milk also works exactly like regular condensed milk for use in desserts.

Milk – I’ve never liked milk, so don’t need an alternative. However, the majority opinion seems to be that oat milk is the best non dairy. I have used it in baking & my wares were yum.

Boost your Veg

Obviously vegan cuisine contains loads of vegetables. Even the most devoted veggie can get bored with eating a lot of similar flavours. The good news is, you don’t have to, there are so many amazing things you can do to jazz up your greens.

Start with different cooking methods. Don’t just bung everything in a pot and boil. Try roasting, steaming, pan fry, stew. There are lots of options. Second, get creative with your seasoning. You can toss your veg in different oils before roasting or frying. Sprinkle with garlic, chilli, cinnamon etc for added flavour. Next go wild with your dressings; ‘Butter’ is great on loads of veg but don’t stop there. Soy sauce, houmous, satay, balsamic even a simple vinaigrette will all pep your veggies right up.

Thinly sliced roasted Mediterranean veg in casserole dish

Accidentally Vegan

Lots of common brand name foods just happen to be vegan. You’d be surprised at how many of your usuals vegans can eat. Vegan Food & Living have a comprehensive list of accidentally vegan options that is worth checking out.

Go Nuts

Nuts are good for everything. Easy & filling mobile snack. Tasty additions to savoury & sweet dishes. Stick some with your cereal, yoghurt, fruit to make them more filling. There are loads of varieties & they’re good for you; loaded with fibre, unsaturated fats & protein.

It’s never been easier.

Every supermarket has a vegan ready meals, every restaurant marks vegan friendly food on the menu. From sandwiches to fine dining there are options. Whether you’re sipping your toes in with Veganuary or going the whole quorn hog, it has never been easier. Go for it!

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Baby, you’re the words & chapter…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

After some recent ‘market research’ I discovered that folks would like me to share more of what I’m reading. I have always been a total bookworm & am pretty much constantly reading. I always intend to share books I enjoy, but never remember. My goodreads is neglected for months & then a tonne of books of are added at once. Now that I have confirmation that people do actually want this type of content, I am going to try much harder. Starting right now, with a rundown of some of my favourite books.

Delusion of Grandma, Carrie Fisher

Carrie Fisher was incredible in every single way. I absolutely worshipped her. Her acting, comedy & activism were all top notch. Her writing was sublime. I have never found anyone else who writes in such a poetic stream of conscious like style. Carrie draws from her own life to create works of fiction that take my breathe away. Delusions of Grandma centres around Cora, a script fixer who discovers she is pregnant just as her relationship ends. She then goes on a road trip with her eccentric Mother to fulfil her failing Grandfather’s last wish to return to his home town. Her Grandfather has dementia & so may not actually know when he is ‘home’, but they feel duty bound. Her mother is loving, but A LOT. She has a writing partner & best friend who is wonderful, but A LOT. Cora herself could be described as, you guessed it, kind of A LOT. Cora becomes convinced that she won’t survive child birth & starts writing long letters to her unborn child. These letters detail major relationships & events in Cora’s life. They give the reader insight into who she is and how she feels about herself. The way Fisher handles mental illness through these narratives is one of the most lucid accounts I have ever read. I knew exactly the feelings she was describing. Her writing is so exceptional that I practically felt them as I read. If you haven’t experienced Carrie Fisher’s unparalleled writing talent I urge you rectify that as soon as possible.

Delusion a of Grandma cover art Yellow rubber duck with book title on blue

The Travelling Hornplayer, Barbara Trapido

The Travelling Hornplayer consists of multiple intersecting stories. The connections in the characters lives are revealed as the book unfolds. Each of the tales are woven together so skilfully that it feels somewhat magical. That hint of magic persists within the little cosmic drops throughout each character’s narrative. Trapido’s storytelling is beautiful. All of her books feature the same families of characters, but explore different aspects of their lives. Background characters from one novel push centre stage in another. This particular book became my favourite of the authors by virtue of featuring a cycle of poetry I fell in love with at university. A quote from which is now permanently inked on my body. Words have always been my religion and this book is part of my bible.

The words ‘ the stars are too high’ tattooed on freckled arm
The travelling horn player cover art

My Thoughts Exactly, Lily Allen

This book is of course Lily Allen’s autobiography. I’ve always liked her music & most of her candour. I felt a sort of fellowship with her after her first child was still born, which made me more interested in her work. What I admire most about this book is Lily’s honesty. She speaks so openly about her life even when it is not remotely flattering. She lays herself bare as she recounts her childhood, mental health battles, experiences of motherhood, fame, sexual assault & infidelity. It is a brave and raw book. Not at all the typical show biz memoir. I can’t recommend this book highly enough.

My thought exactly cover art (yellow background with photograph of Lily Allen)

There you go, some of my very best books. I have a million favourites, so there will probably be more posts like this. I will also endeavour to post what I am reading (& enjoying) on Insta.

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