plus size

Oh, sit down…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

Yesterday was one of those ugh days. I had a couple of medical appointments and a few errands to run. I was tired and sore, but it was a sunny day, so off I set.

My mood took the first knock when my taxi driver has a rant about how short my journey was. Granted I wasn’t going far, but I can’t get about on foot. If I want to go somewhere, I need a taxi. Next up was a rude & unhelpful woman in the chemist. She made it very clear that finding my prescription was an inconvenience. Much huffing, puffing and snarky comments ensued, which drew stares from other customers. The final nail in the coffin of my day was the hospital receptionist who would not source a chair for me, but also got angry when I sat on the floor. Sitting on the floor is hazard, but passing out because I cannot stand apparently is not.

Rubbish day, but not the end of the world, right? If these were isolated incidents I would probably just brush them off. The problem is, it happens all the time. Being a disabled person out in the world can be a challenge. Accessibility is a problem, but even requests for basic accommodations can be met with irritation. On some level, I understand that. Work can be exhausting, maybe you’re having a bad day and being asked for something extra could just tip you over. However, most of my life is exhausting. I don’t make these requests to be awkward, I need them.

The result is I get apologetic. I begin my request with ‘I’m sorry, but’ or ‘I don’t want to be pest, but’. I feel like an inconvenience for asking. I anticipate that my accessibility request may not be well received. Listen, inside I often feel like getting arsey. My natural demeanour is not push over. I just know it won’t help. I also rarely have the energy for the fight. Thus, I find myself simultaneously pissed off at being made to feel bothersome & apologising for the perceived trouble.

I don’t need any help on the guilt front. I already feel like a burden to people that matter. Is it too much to ask that strangers don’t make me feel like shit? My needs are very straightforward; a seat mainly. I dread to think how anyone with a more complex requirement fares. All I’d ask is that before you roll your eyes or have a moan consider that this a moment of inconvenience for you is a lifetime of fuckery for us. Maybe you could just zip your lips and grab a chair after all?

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon .

Walking on sunshine…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

It finally happened, the sun has arrived. We had two whole proper hot sunny days. It did rain yesterday, but that’s Glasgow for you. Anyway, my point is, summer is coming.

With it will come a deluge of diet talk, body shaming and unsolicited opinions. That means it’s time for my annual reminder; we all have a summer body. Everyone deserves to feel the sun on their skin and enjoy the summer. There will be many external voices proclaiming the need to change or hide your body. I implore you to ignore them.

I know it can feel scary to let the world see something you have been taught to believe is bad. I also know that when you release yourself from the fear of judgement it feels goooood. Nothing terrible happens if you go to the park in a sundress with your bingo wings flying free. The truth is most people aren’t paying you that much attention. We’re all busy living our lives. We’re chatting or day dreaming or stressing or thinking about what we need from Tesco. No one is focused on your body or outfit even a fraction as much as you are.

The fuckwits who will stare or comment on a photo are in the minority. Those are not your people. Those are mean, small minded probably deeply insecure folk. Do not give them power over you or your choices. Especially when there is so much at stake.

It’s hard for me to articulate just how much happier I am since embraced the body I’m in. The freedom not just to wear whatever I feel good in, but also to enjoy what I do in those clothes has touched every aspect of my life. There were so many things that I just wouldn’t do. Activities that I love, like swimming or spa days were frought with anxiety. My career was hugely impacted by all the opportunities I didn’t think I could I take. Purely because I didn’t look the way I thought smart, successful people should look. A hot summer was just extended discomfort. Constantly trying to balance not being too hot, with not being too visible. Covering scars, flabby bits, dodging photos, worrying that I’ll embarrass people I care about. I missed so much big and small, pushing things off for a time when I’d weigh less.

Oh how I wish someone could have enlightened years earlier. I’m still fat. I’m still covered in scars. I’m peely wally, stretch marked, my boobs sag. And I’m living life more fully than I ever thought possible. My size and appearance no longer feature in my decisions. No one who matters in my life cares about the number on a scale.

I’m not denying that fat phobia exists. Nor am I saying no one will ever judge you or be unkind. What I am saying is that the joy you gain from being fully present in all of your endeavours far out weighs all that bullshit. Plus, there is no cardigan or floaty top that magically conceals one’s size. Feeling worthy of respect and happiness was my first step in being able to fight for it.

Please let me cut through all the negativity. Wear the shorts. Go to pool. Put on your sexiest outfit and strut your stuff. Our visibility allows other people to step into the light. Trust me, it is lovely out here.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

I’ve got a brand new combine harvester…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

It’s another Bank Holiday weekend. The kids had a few days off school and the weather looked promising. Obviously we had to go on some adventures.

On Friday I hit the Museum of Rural Life with my bestie and niblings. They loved checking out the giant vintage machinery and learning all about the local wildlife. My highlight was the tractor ride and baby cows. The kids seemed to enjoy everything. It was a warm dry day when he set out, so I braved a summery outfit. It did start to rain about ten mins before home time, but we managed not to get too soaked.

Top – Taking Shape Skort – Simply Be Kimono – Simply Be

Saturday was sister & the boy time. We headed to the Riverside Museum. We hadn’t been here for a few years and there have been loads of changes. All positive. The boy loved it. Like me, he was a fan of the old street. I was also happy to discover that the museum had those cool little portable chairs; allowing me to sit whenever I needed to. Two days in a row is a lot for me, so I attempted to put a little pep in my step with an excellent outfit. I think this one was a winner.

Dress – M&S Petticoat – Lindy Bop

I had an amazing time with the little ones, but unfortunately my body rebelled on Sunday. Along with the usual pain & fatigue there was much vomiting. I had a seriously rough night and today I am utterly wiped out. Bronan & I are having rest. Hope your holiday weekend was just as fun with fewer negative repercussions.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon

Life is a rollercoaster…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

It’s been a mixed few weeks. The Easter holidays presented lots of opportunities for auntie time. Unfortunately, my body has seized every opportunity to mess with me.

My first Easter adventure was a trip to The Burrell Collection. I spent a lot of time here as a kid and always enjoyed it. It is so nice to share it with the next generation. The boy absolutely loved all the swords and armour. I loved watching him explore.

Dress – Forever 21 Tights – Snag Boots – Air Cloudies

The Burrell is really good on the accessibility front. Wide flat spaces that are easy to manoeuvre. Plenty of places to sit throughout, plus light weight stools you can carry around with you. Spacious lifts to all floors. It is a stunning buildings, with exhibits to entertain all ages.

As you know, I’m big into my glasses. I can never have enough. Thus, I was delighted to collab with Firmoo. These blue beauties have been on my face since the moment they arrived.

Glasses – Firmoo *

Next up was a little dip with my bestie & her brood. Swimming is my favourite, not least because I can properly carry on with kids. In the water I can move with ease. It feels so good not to be in pain every second. It’s even better to play a shark, spin the kids, help them ‘swim’. Much fun was had even if my littlest niece was frustrated that she needed to hold on to me. She was determined that she could do it herself and was not convinced when I explained that she couldn’t swim. Swimming with littles requires clothes that can be easily pulled on whilst squeezed into a tiny changing room with a wiggly child. These wide legs were perfect.

Trousers – Pockets and Sedition Cardigan – Monsoon

A few days later I was back with the treesome for the twin’s birthday. I can’t believe they are three already. It’s a cliche, but kids really do grow too fast! I still call these two babies, which is wishful thinking. They are so smart & funny & full of love. It is an honour to be part of their lives. We had a classic children’s party; balloons, cake & pass the parcel. It was a joy.

On the flip side my insomnia is in full force. Tossing & turning for hours every night is torture. I lie there exhausted, but feeling this horrendous unsettled sensation all over. The more I dwell on this physical embodiment of anxiety, the further away sleep gets. Every day feels like wading through mud. Surviving on minuscule amounts of sleep is the absolute worst.

When my body isn’t refusing to sleep, it’s passing out. Pots is kicking my arse. My latest fainting disaster resulted in two small fractures of my hand. The good news is that the bones are fast healing. The bad is that it is my walking stick hand and weight bearing is not easy. I’m feeling overwhelmed about how this is going to impact my mobility. Fingers crossed the predicted 3 weeks healing time is correct.

I might have to wear an ugly splint, but my nails look great.

Thankfully Bronan is always around for snuggles. A purring cat is a great stress reducer.

* Use my code Kerr50 for up to 80% off.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Put your boots on…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

This month in continued attempts to stop buying clothes I don’t need, I have been attempting to mine gems from the darkest reaches of my wardrobe.

I have about a million dresses and some just don’t get a look in. Example A would be this dress. It the softest, cosiest easy wear and I do not know why I neglect it. It is brutally cold here, so additional layering is essential. This wee shrug/jumper thing is ideal. Also super soft and cosy. It was a Xmas gift and I love it. I can throw it on with anything for extra warm.

Dress – Monsoon Jumper – Gift Boots – Air Cloudies

The next dress really did come from the deepest depths. I’ve had this one for close to 20yrs. It’s is a magical wrap dress that somehow fits me whatever size I am. I love the vintagey print. The only annoying thing is the tie loosens and it gets a bit heavy on the cleavage. Easily solved by popping a vest on next time.

Dress – Very old H&M. Jumper – Gift

Finally we have yesterday’s outfit. We took Dad out for an early birthday lunch. I wanted to step it up a little, but still look day time. I dug around in my drawers and found this amazing sheer t shirt. The colour is so vibrant, it was just what this jumpsuit needed to causal it down a little bit. I also broke out my jazziest glasses. I adore these specs. They are actually really heavy, so not great for wearing everyday. I do love giving them an outing.

Jumpsuit – Curve Soul* T-Shirt – Taking Shape* Glasses – Where Light

Bronan remains unfussed by my sartorial efforts. As long as I continue to pander to his every whim, he is happy.

* Gifted, but opinions remain honest.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Not Sorry…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

Every now again I use the blog to vent my anger. Well, it’s that time again. The world is brimming over with things to be mad & sad about. These are just a few that I need to get off my chest.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when brands jump on the fat positivity train for their own benefit without actually incorporating real size diversity. The most recent culprit being Marc Jacobs. The advert for the perfume, Perfect is an ode to diversity. It features a wide variety of models including a couple of plus size women. Great right? Well it would be if the Marc Jacobs ready to wear line didn’t stop at a UK16. I doubt either of the models featured in the ad would be able to shop the line.

Also on my mind at the moment is when celebs reveal themselves to be shits & ruin one’s favourites. Brought to mind when I couldn’t sleep & was searching for something soothing to watch. Lewis popped up in one of my streaming apps. I loved Inspector Morse & was delighted when his sergeant returned. However, a once comforting programme is now spoiled by Laurence Fox’s gammon exploits. No matter how lovely Lewis & Hathaway are, I can’t enjoy them without thinking about Fox’s racism, misogyny & all out far right vileness. Other notable examples include anything with Tom Cruise, Mel Gibson’s presence in the Lethal Weapons & of course Gary Barlow destroying my love of Take That.

Finally & most rage inducing is Keir Starmer. From his refusal to support Trade Unions to his abandonment of Palestine, Starmer is a spineless wannabe Tory. Under his leadership Labour is no longer the party of working people. Who thought we would see an ex human rights lawyer turned Labour leader cowardly defend war crimes on national television? Not me. The man is disgusting.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon

When there’s something strange…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

A little later than usual, but tonight we embarked on our Halloween tradition. My sister & I have been taking the boy to GlasGlow every year since he was born. This years theme was Ghostbusters & we loved it.

Kelvingrove Park & the Botanics are pretty all year round, but with added light show they’re spectacular.

The boy flipped when he saw the stay soft mallow man & ghostbusters car, but he declared the scary pumpkins his favourite part. I was rather taken with the giant mirror ball and of course I enjoyed how flattering the wall of lights is.

This year was much easier for me as they had added way more places to sit as you walk around. They also have ‘glow passes’ that allowed disabled folk to skip queues/take shortcuts as needed. Plus they even had blue badge parking. Tip top job of making the event accessible.

My nephew likes us all to wear skeletons, so my new jumper was perfect. Worn over the comfiest playsuit with tights & cosy tartan coat.

Coat – ASOS Curve Jumper – Curve Soul Playsuit – Simply Be Tights – Snag

I suppose spooky season is now really over. Best kick my Xmas organising up a gear.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

I’d rather be fat and happy…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

About a month ago I made a Tik Tok about wegovy & similar ‘weight loss’ jabs. I had seen a lot of people promoting them, giving advice on how to get them prescribed etc. These positive posts all had notable omissions. I wanted to address the missing information.

I am fully behind bodily autonomy & wouldn’t tell people what to do with their bodies. However, I think it is essential that we have all the information before making medical decisions. It’s impossible to consent to treatment if you aren’t informed of all the risks, side effects and so on.

The current information on medications of this type is that weight loss will be most significant in the first 6months. Loss will peak at 1year and regardless of how long you remain on the drug, you will start to regain after that point. Regaining any weight lost is not only a certainty, it will happen fast. In fact the data shows that the pattern of weight loss & gain is similar to other methods of intentional weight loss. You are likely to regain not only the weight lost, but a little extra on top too.

People who have these injections report many gastric symptoms. Extreme nausea, vomiting & diarrhoea sometimes for weeks or months at a time. For others those side effects never settle. Long term use increases the risk of gallbladder problems & pancreatitis. Both are very painful, the latter can be deadly if not promptly treated. It’s also important to note that these injections have not been licensed for more than 2yrs for use in non diabetics. They have also never been prescribed in such high doses. The truth is there are still many unknowns. What we do know for sure it that these medications have serious risks & promise only short term results.

So, why am I going over all this again? Today I got a notification of a comment on that video. Reading it broke my heart.

I understand that sentiment. I used to feel that way. I’d make jokes about smoking instead of eating; saying as long as I was a thin corpse I didn’t care. I know how painful it is to feel that way. What’s worse is I know that many of the professionals who swore an oath to ‘do no harm’ feel the same way. Fat phobia is so ingrained in the medical profession that Drs recommend harmful meds, diets & surgeries to fat patients. Rushed to market, poorly tested and even known to be ineffective interventions. It matters not, because they’d rather we be sick or even dead than fat.

We deserve better. We should be able to consult our Drs when needed without the dreaded weight loss chat. We are entitled to treatments & procedures without having to first agree to dangerous diets. We are as worthy of respect and compassion as any other patient. And, we can demand it.

There are so many amazing resources to help fat patients deal with medical weight stigma. Two of my favourite fat positive medical folks are Dr Asher Larmie & Dr Joshua Wolrich both have written extensively on the topic. I cannot recommend their work enough.

I also support the anti diet work of :

Gillian Wilson

Vinny Welsby

Fat Women of Colour

Dr Diana Gordon

I too am happy to help if I can. I’m not a medical health professional, but have learned many strategies for dealing with anti fat Drs. I’m always delighted to pass these on.

If Bronan’s belly is cute, so is yours.

If you enjoy my writing you can support me here or on Patreon .

Charity of the Month…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

This month the change in weather & return of anti choice protesters prompted my donations.

If you know me at all you’ll be aware that I am passionately pro-choice. The rise of US style religious harassment outside hospitals & clinics are repugnant. Everyone is entitled to make reproductive decisions for themselves & safely access whatever treatment they require. I am completely in favour of buffer zones to ensure this. You can help make buffer zones law in Scotland by support Back Off Scotland . There are links to write to your Msp, sign their petition & make a donation on their website.

My second consideration was the chill in the air. I can only imagine how horrendous it is to face the Scottish winter without a safe place to call home. Homeless Project Scotland provide vital services including a food bank, soup kitchen & street teams. If you can help, any donation would be wonderful.

You can support both organisations in ways other than monetary. So, please check out the links if you want to help.

Big Mistake?

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

It’s And Just Like That time again. I’m a week behind for reasons. One of which is all the emotions I had over episode 8. It’s just a tv show, but I feel betrayed.

I already expressed my concerns about Aidan’s return. Well, they continue. The whiny baby still won’t step foot in Carrie’s apartment. So, now Carrie is renting Che’s place. Am I the only one who hearing the masculinity so fragile klaxon?

Pandering aside Carrie is slipping into icky habits. All of sudden her only topic of conversation is Aidan. She’s forgotten about her summer plans with Seema & then just assumes it would cool to bring her boyfriend. It’s not kind. Especially when the Seema wanted to share a beach house to avoid staying with married friends. Carrie knows her friend doesn’t want to be a 3rd wheel, it is shitty to pretend she isn’t creating an uncomfortable dynamic.

Two women wearing hairdressers gowns standing outside under umbrellas

Then of course we have the heartbreaker. A couple of weeks shagging Aidan & she’s wondering if her soulmate was mistake. Fuck Off. Carrie didn’t want to settle down and have Aidan’s kids. She didn’t want to move to Virginia. She absolutely would not be living in a house with free roaming chickens. It’s all fine and dandy to reconnect & find themselves more compatible now. However, denying the reality of their previous relationship is just stupid. She broke out in a rash trying on a wedding dress. Carrie was never going to live happily ever after Aidan. Moreover, dismissing her life with Big is just gross. I have no idea what the writers were thinking. Have the new writers even watched Sex & The City? You don’t spend over a decade crafting an epic love story & expect viewers not to be invested.

I was still fizzing over the conversation with Miranda when Carrie doubled down. Her response to Che wondering why her & Aidan didn’t work out first time round was a twist of the knife. ‘I made a mistake’. What was her error? The affair, not marrying Aidan, choosing her dead husband? It’s vile. Also, who asks that question in those circumstances? They both had other lives, let it lie.

If Carrie wasn’t making sick enough, Charlotte was ready to poke my gag reflex. Her whole shape wear, soup diet story line was a fat phobic yawn. The resolution was worse. She saw a fat woman not hating herself, so now she could accept her objectively slim body. Seriously? Do better. Much better.

I know I care too much, but come on! These characters are flawed enough, let’s not make them impossible to watch. Before I brave the next episode I’m off to deal with real life & gain some perspective!

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.