I like it, I like it…

Last Christmas I randomly decided to make my own cards. I can’t remember where I got the idea, but I wanted to make each one a different festive cat. I have never been particularly artistic, but I thought it would be fun. It was & it birthed an idea that has been so good for me.

The cards that started it.

I realised how much I enjoyed making those cards. They were just little water colour drawings of christmassy cats, but they brought me joy. They were not stunning works of art. That didn’t reduce how good it felt to make them, so I decided to keep painting and try some other things too. Since then I have been making all my cards, I have started knitting again, I’ve started random sketchbooks and this week I even started a visual diary. I love all of these creative ventures. I do have any natural talent for these things. I don’t intend to make them a side hustle. I just like doing it.

Both the knitting and the drawing/painting help have helped with my free floating anxiety. They give me something to do with my hands and something to focus my crazy head on. I really enjoy watching something cute appear on a blank page. I like how the water colours blend and how the wool feels in my hands. The sound of the knitting needles clicking brings up really special memories of my Gran (who originally taught me to knit).

Despite this facial expression, he loves his blanket.

Aside from birthday cards I haven’t shared any of my efforts with anyone. It’s just for me. I made a little blanket for my cat. I’m now practising some new stitches, slow going, but I’ll get there. My point is it doesn’t matter if I’m terrible at these things; they make me feel good. Thus, I have decided to continue and also to apply this theory to other areas of my life. I shall now ask myself, Do I like it? rather than worrying about being good or doing it right or what anyone else thinks. It is very freeing. I’d recommend it.

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It’s a me, myself kinda attitude…

Self care is a phrase that makes me boak. It has so many bullshit connotations that I just can’t be doing with. I’m not interested in the healing powers of green tea, crystals or turmeric. A cup of tea and a chat won’t fix my crazy head. Neither will congratulating myself for brushing my teeth. If any of that works for, knock yourself out, I’m genuinely happy for you. It all just leaves me with a bad taste (literally in some cases) in my mouth. However, I do believe that you have look after yourself. It’s important to pay attention to the little things that make a difference to your day/life. And every now and again you have to go BIG.

Hotel do not disturb sign

That’s exactly what I did last week. I’ve been walking the tightrope of mental & physical health flares. I’m tired, I’m sore, I’m sad and with the arrival of my 39th birthday I’m old too. I was in need of a treat. So, I gave myself a 5 star escape.

I booked a couple of nights at a boutique hotel in my city. Checked into my beautiful room and checked out of reality for a few days. I told no one. I drank champagne cocktails in the epic roll top bath. Ordered room service and watched old movies in the gigantic bed.

Hotel room with roll top bath Grand staircase and stained glass window, dining room with chandelier and champagne cocktail

It did me good to dip out of my real life. It hasn’t solved any of my problems, but man alive was it good to have some respite. It also felt really amazing to be able to do a lovely thing for myself. It’s great to be treated by others, but there is a deep satisfaction in giving yourself something you need.

ly looking in mirror in white hotel robe, ly soaking in roll top bath

My advice would be less ‘self care’ and more taking care of yourself.