Sex and the city

Big love?…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

I’m a women of a certain age. I’ve been proposed to twice, but never married. I’ve gotten lost in crazy love, hurt by the stormy, comfortable in the familiar, heartsick over the not to be me and everything else in between. I think much of the romance has probably been knocked out of me by now.

And then I tune into Carrie & co and have second thoughts. The parts of And just like that I can’t get in step with are the ones that shatter the fantasy. I may be jaded in real life, but my desire for happily ever after persists. Some people enjoy the life like twists, I want no part in the angst.

Unless of course it’s just a stop off on route to joy. I’ll suffer a short detour if it makes the destination sweeter, but I have zero tolerance for wading around mapless. Miranda’s second series arc is killing me. I loved her & Steve. His portrayal as some old sad sack was bad enough. Now he’s cold, manipulative and pathetically shagging randoms. It doesn’t add up. How did we get from tenderly embracing how lucky they were to have each other pre Big’s funeral to their current soulless stalemate? Every time we’re given a glimpse of the love they once had it gets tarnished with a turn of events that feels shoe horned to make this storyline work. Couldn’t we have watched them meet new people, explore new challenges and use what they learned to grow together? Maybe that sounds like an unattainable ideal, but I absolutely do not care. I’ve gone through all the shit with these characters. I want the fluff!

I could have gotten on board if Miranda and Che had been the real deal. Perhaps if the plot had included Steve moving towards healing & accepting that he needed more too. Some respect and affection would have gone a long way. Stale marriage, exciting short lived relationship and ending up sleeping in a single bed in your mates spare room doesn’t cut it. Everyone’s sad. I know my head is filled with rom com nonsense, but I want the pipe dream.

The return of Aidan also gives me the heebie jeebies. Big is gone, obviously Carrie has to move on to drive the drama. I understand going full circle. Big & Aidan are her ‘two big loves’, but come on. He couldn’t get through one evening without getting whiny. Aidan was a nice enough man, but it never felt like he actually wanted Carrie. He wanted a version of her that fitted his needs. Now he’s back and already not happy with her life. Perhaps I’m harsh, I found his little I can’t go back up there hissy fit ridiculous. If you’re not over the past, there can’t be a present. Is Carrie going to have to start pandering to his nonsense again? After colouring outside the lines with her soulmate I can’t help wondering if this is a memory lane best not wandered down.

I want ‘you’re the one’ on Parisian bridges or vowing never to take off one’s wedding ring. Real life is messy enough, let me get my true love vicariously please.

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I feel like throwing my hands up in the air…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

I have been catching up with And just like that & I’m having a lot of feelings. I know, I know, it’s a tv show. These people aren’t real. Except, they kind of are. A little bit.

S&TC caught me at just the right time. I started watching right before leaving home & starting uni. I continued through 18 to 24, prime discovering yourself, life & love years. I re-watched again & again, Carrie & the gals my trusted companions. It hasn’t all aged well, there’s some really dodgy shit. Plus sometime I don’t even like them; Carrie could be truly toxic things. But, I still love them. There was nothing else talking about the kind of female sexuality I was exploring in the late 90’s. There were little bits of myself & my friends in all of the fab four. I could relate to their sexual & romantic adventures. I knew the unbreakable bond of female friendship. Carrie was a writer with a penchant for the older man for goodness sake. Then of course it was all so much more glamorous than my life. They were running around Manhattan in Manolos, whilst I could barely afford Malboro lights & rent on my dodgy student flats. We were both hiding our broken hearts in a haze of smoke & high heels, though. Fantasy wrapped up in just enough reality to capture my heart.

So, I loved them. I felt like I knew them inside out. Both the characters & the all the fragments of real people I saw in them. I have twenty odd years invested in these tv people. That’s crying on the sofa, drinking cocktails with the girls, hungover Sundays, hours of explaining to stupid boyfriends why Aidan wasn’t right & so much more. I want them to be happy. Real life is perilous on the happy ending front, but when last we saw Carrie & Co is was as close to a fairy tale as you get in NYC.

Miranda, Carrie, Charlotte & Samantha in coats walking in the street

I awaited this re boot with trepidation. There was never any chance of me not partaking, but I was worried. I feared they’d mess it all up. Successful drama needs conflict and I didn’t want my middle aged babes involved in any of that. They almost killed me with that first episode. I was always rooting for Big, even when he was a total fuckwit. I wanted Carrie & John to grow old together in harmony. Given what we found out about Chris Noth, it’s just as well they killed him off (but I can still mourn the character, right?). We also had Samantha’s absence to deal with. That empty chair at the restaurant. Those flowers at the funeral. It’s heartbreaking. I’m 41 now, I know those female bonds aren’t always so indestructible, but this is fantasy. Samantha would never have had such a silly huff. Two hard blows right from the kick off. The rest are good. I can take it.

Then comes Che and all bets are off. All of sudden I’m supposed to believe that Steve can’t make Miranda cum? The Steve that knew how to get her off from night one? They make him some lame guy who can’t finger his wife. Now Miranda is running off to surprise Che, who will almost certainly be screwing someone else when she gets there. I don’t want this. I want my loyal cynical Miranda with her sweet, loving Steve. I’m taking this betrayal personally.

That’s before I even touch on how they handled Stanford’s exit. Carrie going on dates or that hideous new apartment. Thank god for Charlotte & Harry. I hope. I may be a bit more jaded and lot less likely to fall head over heels, but I can’t take it if all those happily ever afters fall apart. Make believe is supposed to offer some escapism. Will no one think of the ageing romantics?

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And just like that, I’m not ok…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

I have just finished the first episodes of the much awaited And Just Like That. I was excited for the return of the S&TC girls (I know). I loved the original. I even liked the slightly dodgy films. I was so happy to see them all again. And now, I am not ok.

Poster for and just like that featuring Sarah Jessica Parker , Cynthia Nixon & Kristin Davies

If you’re planning to watch & don’t want me to spoil it, stop reading now. If you’re still here, how are you doing? Did you survive that first episode? I was so unprepared. Not until Lily started playing those foreboding notes did I suspect that Big was in danger. Those sneaky fuckers got me. As soon as the scenes started cutting from big on the bike to Lily on the piano; I knew. I didn’t want to accept it though.

I was really enjoying happily ever after with Carrie & Big. He’s still hot. Still colouring outside the lines. Still an old school romantic. Carrie is still Carrie. The writing is good. The shoes are better. It was all working until they broke my heart. This is not the forever I was looking for. How can Mr Big be dead? Why on earth did the writers think we could cope with this storyline?

Still from and just like that. Carrie cradling Big in her arms

I can’t stop crying! Listen, I always cry at the sad bits. Books, films, tv shows, life. If it’s sad, I cry. However, I think after 2yrs of a pandemic and all it brought maybe everyone’s emotions are a little raw. I find it increasingly difficult to view a whole range of media. The news is obviously a very rough watch. Fiction isn’t really much easier. The stress, fear, anger, grief has been turned up so high in real life that I really struggle not to absorb those emotions from fiction. I start feeling sad about a storyline and before I know it I’m flooded with a million real things to be sad about. Repeat for anger and so on. I’m beginning to think that Covid has left even more of a mark on me than I realised.

I’m wondering if others aren’t feeling the same. We’re all aware of the trauma covid brought. Huge losses & life altering changes. I’m not sure we have properly thought about the long term impact on our collective psyche. Lots of us were lucky enough not to lose a loved one. Many careers have not crashed and homes are maintained. A significant amount of people didn’t even get sick. Nonetheless, everything feels different. Also, the same. Is this chiming with anyone?

I feel like the world should have changed. So much of it hasn’t and that feels incompatible with where we are now. It’s hard to climb out of all those extreme emotions we’ve been swimming in. It’s even harder not to feel the need to revolt against those who still can’t bring themselves to care. I can’t articulate it perfectly, but I feel something has shifted. It could be wishful thinking. I hope not. It’s like the other shoe is just dangling from a single toe now. The people who least expect it might be about to get squashed.

ly wearing tortoiseshell glasses leaning her head on one hand and looking fed up

Well, that was quite the leap. From a 90’s reboot to revolution in less than a 1000 words. I think that might actually prove my point; there’s a lot bubbling right under the surface. Anyway, in brief, whether you’re sad about John James Preston, the damage a global pandemic has wreaked or the craven shower we are governed by, I feel you. It’s hard to keep it in. You’re not the only one. Be gentle with yourself.

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