I’m on a little bit of tortoise shell kick at the moment. It started with a really beautiful bag that my lovely bestie gave me as a birthday gift. Next I spotted some earrings and before I knew it I was completely enamoured with the pattern.
I found the perfect matching phone case and then I just happened to stumble upon (ok, I kind of went looking) the most fantastic tortoise shell glasses. They came from my favourite spectacle website where.light. The world is a total blur without my glasses on, so I have to wear them all the time. Hence, I like a variety of frames. The latest addition to my collection are a total boon. The matchy matchy look is making me feel spiffing.
1. My BFF’s baby turned 1 year old. I’m still not sure I completely believe it. It feels like it’s been a whisper of time since we welcomed her into world. Her first birthday party was as delightful as she is. I am excited to watch her grow. I’m also beyond thrilled to my bestie so utterly happy.
2. The leaves are doing their magical autumn thing & turning all the beautiful burnished tones. I love this season. I love trees. I love when Mother Nature starts doing her thing.
3. As the nights turn chilly the tv heats up. This year the bar has been set high. The Bodyguard & Killing Eve smashed it. Upping the game for proper must see tv. The return of No Offence has filled the Joanne Scanlon sized whole in my life. With Line of Duty on the way back soon I may never leave the house again. What do they all have in common, incredible intelligent female leads. It is fucking lovely to see so many strong fully formed parts for women. Oh & a good Glaswegian showing too.
4. My big brother also had significant birthday this year. I can’t say I’m that happy that he’s turned 40 because it means it’s proper looming for me. I am however delighted that he threw such a good party.
5. Tess Holliday rocking the cover of Cosmopolitan. Here’s the thing, I’m not actually a massive Tess fan & I’m definitely not a Cosmo fan at all, but I still love her cover. It’s progress. The photograph was a joyful declaration that fat women aren’t going anywhere. We exist, we are accomplished, beautiful, strong, diverse & we deserve representation. Also, Piers Morgan still has his knickers in a twist about. Upsetting Piers is always a plus (see what I did there???).
6. The nights may be drawing in, but they’re doing it in style. The last few weeks have produced some stunning sunsets. I was lucky enough to capture this beauty.
7. Then there was that day that I woke up with a bloody gorgeous arse. A very different view, but no less impressive.
8. I suspect I’m late to the party again with this one. Better late than never though. I only recently discovered Cigarettes After Sex and have fallen completely in love. Their music is ethereal, sensual & poignant in equal measures. Do yourself a favour & add them to your playlist.
9. September 18 will go down in history as the month that I finally mastered the glittery smokey eye. It took almost 4 decades, but just look at this magnificent artistry.
20. Which brings me nearly to my final entry; my birthday. On Saturday I will turn 38. Yup, that’s scary. I plan to celebrate the hell out of it anyway. Stay tuned for birthday hi jinx.
Last week I received a package that thrilled me. I commissioned a portrait from the incredibly talented Spunk Rock Star. She is an artist I discovered on Instagram & can not get enough of.
My portrait is, of course wonderful. I selected a picture of myself from a few summers ago. I had spent the day on the most beautiful beach with special people and felt completely content. Helen (aka spunk rock) totally captured that serenity. I can’t wait to get it framed & find it a perfect spot to live.
Having a stunning portrait of myself feels very decadent. I can’t recommend it enough. If you want to take my advice, Helen will not disappoint. She also creates super sexy kink art, which I just love. Her Etsy has great sales regularly, you can pick up originals, prints & even these very cool pins. The very best way to support independent artists is to buy their work. I think for a long time I was a little intimidated by the idea of commissioning art, but I am so glad I got over that. I’ve bought some brilliant & unique pieces from artists (mostly found on insta) this year. I definitely intend to continue because it’s doubly satisfying; you get an exceptional hand crafted item & you know you supported someone in doing the thing they love. It’s a good feeling!
On Saturday I had two parties to attend. One big event is enough to stress me out, so a 1st & 40th on the same Saturday had me more than a little worked up. I did actually manage to have fun & I think (hope) I pulled off two cool looks too.
First up was my best friend’s baby’s 1st birthday. I’m in still in shock that my tiny Madison is one already. I honestly feel like I’m living in fast forward. Anyway, she was an adorable birthday girl. Her party was incredibly cute & all the little people in attendance were a delight. Since it was a children’s event I went for a slightly whimsical outfit. All the colours & petticoat as a skirt was my choice.
Petticoat – Lindy Bop
Top – Asos
Cardi – Primark
I didn’t have much time to get organised for the next event. So, the plan was to change outfit, amp up the eye make up and reapply my lipstick. I somehow managed to create my dream grey glitter eye including winged liner. Unfortunately as it was a bit of a fluke it’s possible I’ll never recreate it. Thus, I intend to enjoy these pictures incase it never happens again. Clothes wise I settled on a dress I’ve had for years, but only worn once. The Toyboy thinks it looks like a gladiator dress & I’m very ok with that. I’m afraid I didn’t get a full length picture, but you can get a good look here. Another of my siblings turning 40 necessitated the drinking of many shots, which scuppered outfit photos. I did of course document my sexy smokey eyes & fun was had by all. Not least my big bro, who even took the dance floor.
Dress – Asos Curve
Shrug – Monsoon
Happy Birthday Kevin & Madison. Now I need the rest of the month off before I’m ready for the anniversary of my own birth.
Day 2 of the fringe was a well thought out affair. We had selected (bickered over) which shows to see & carefully scheduled the day. With potato scones in my tummy & a truly excellent outfit we headed out.
Despite all that diligent planning we still managed to miss our first show, mainly because I just can’t move very fast. Thus we found ourselves with time to kill & an abundance of options. We took a punt on Super Sonic 90’s Kid. Me because I’m always up for anything 90’s & the Toyboy because he had spied that it involved gaming. Sooz Kempner spent the 90’s playing Sonic the Hedgehog & the like. She’s now wondering if her 90’s experience had long term impact. The show is a feminist gaming nostalgia fest. Throw in some on the edge one liners, an empowering theme & impressive belting of show tunes and you have a winner. I don’t think I’ve ever played Sonic & I still enjoyed it. If Sooz hits your city I’d definitely recommend buying a ticket.
The TB rushed me to the next venue so quickly that I didn’t have time to check what we were seeing.So, when I found myself in dark room before a spangly gyrating medieval knight I was a little taken aback. Boogie Knights was a hilarious disco infused theatrical romp set in a world where boogie knights must defeat an evil rock king. It’s ridiculous & cheesy & fantastic.
After lunching on some amazing falafel on South Bridge (or as we now call it, falafel st), we got back en piste. Robin Ince was recording Book Shambles sans Josie Long, but plus really cool guests. The afternoon that we caught featured Kiri Pritchard McLean & George Egg. Both guests were insightful & interesting. Robin was, as always, the perfect facilitator. I picked up a few book recommendations & I’m dying to catch up on Kiri’s serial killer podcast. There were giggles & thought provokers in equal measure, which is my ideal fare.
We marched up yet another incredibly steep hill & paused for more dreaded #ootd pics. I got a lot of lovely compliments on my attire in Edinburgh. I’m not going to lie it feels good to be praised from top to toe. So, I was feeling pretty good as we arrived back at the Voodoo Rooms for Mandy Knight’s The Dark Knight. This was another ad hoc pick as we couldn’t get into the show we planned to see. It ended up being one of my favourites. Mandy’s show is a decidedly dark, but humorous look at her life. A dead Dad, experiences of the care system & abortion don’t seem like immediate funny topics, but she had the audience in stitches. Her suggestion that her husband requesting she iron his shirt was the first step on a slippery slope to spousal abuse spoke to my deep ironing phobia. Her unexpectedly happy ending spoke to the damaged crazy girl in me. Oh & we were sitting next to Alan Davies (our one & only celeb sighting) Dark Knight was a big hit. I’ll absolutely be seeing Mandy Knight again whenever I get the chance. She cuts right to the bone, but it’s the funny one.
Once again we were in a mad rush to find a venue that it turns out was not that far away & on a street I knew well. We discovered that the TB’s sense of direction is not great & neither is my ability to recognise street names. All of which meant we did the thing I dread most; arrived late to an intimate venue. Luckily The Creative Martyrs were kind even though they were dealing with the aftermath of the end of the world. After the Apocalypse was a cabaret style look at how democracy can be subverted. With nods to our current insane political situation & a healthy helping of friendly audience participation. I’m usually terrified of the any attempts to involve me in show, but these guys managed to make it entirely intimidation free. A quirky take on political satire.
I emerged from the Armageddon bunker excited. Finally it was time for A Beginners Guide to Bondage. I love anything that’s a bit risqué and had been looking forward to this show since first reading about it. Sara Mason AKA Mistress Venita did not disappoint. She has put together an hilarious memoir/how to of her life as a Dominatrix. We squeezed into the tiniest of tiny rooms and learned about various kinks & props. Some brave souls even offered themselves up as apprentice slaves. I believe she is touring this show, if you like a bit of naughty fun see it. This was an hour of my life very well spent.
Show planner exhausted I hobbled down another bloody hill to find a place to park my arse. We finished our second day of the festival with drinks to live music in Cowgate. My spoons were seriously depleted, but fun was had & I still managed to look damn cute.
On Monday the Toyboy & I headed off for our annual (it’s the 2nd year, that counts, right?) trip to the Edinburgh Fringe. Three days of exhausting, but fabulous adventures ensued.
Our first show of the 2018 fringe was Phil Jupitus is Porky the Poet in Living in A World Where They Through the Ducks at the Bread . That title is quite a mouth full as was some of this show, but in a good way. I’ll be honest, I only really knew Jupitus from Never Mind the Buzzcocks & it turns out I like his poetry much more than I liked that programme. His poetic style is silly & witty & heartwarming. His in between chat is also all of the above. I’m a spoken word/poetry fan, but I think even poetry virgins would enjoy Porky’s words. Oh & bonus I got a free badge that sums me up fairly accurately.
Voodoo Rooms is a perfect example of example of Edinburgh Festival venues. It’s down a lane, riddled with stairs & you’re packed in tight enough to lose circulation in your extremities. We made the mistake of trusting directions of a stranger (male, why can they never admit they don’t know?). We walked around in a massive circle before discovering the venue was about 2 minutes from where we started & on arrival I realised I had actually known where it was all along; I just didn’t know the street name. Anyway, what I’m trying to tell you is this is a quintessential festival experience. Finding most venues will become a magical mystery tour of possibly the least disabled friendly city in the world. Everything is up a hill & 3 dozen stairs. Spoonies beware or budget for a lot of taxis!
We acted the tourist for a little bit; had a lunch from a food truck & bought Edinburgh rock. Then I tortured the TB with outfit pictures before an outfit change & catching up with some Edinburgh based friends. After a few cocktails & much hilarity we headed off to our last show of the day.
The Waverley is just off bottom end of the Royal Mile. It looks like it hasn’t been decorated since 60’s & feels like it might house a tiny part of real festival spirit. In the upstairs room there was a sparse audience & a life size cut out of Billy Conolly declaring ‘This is where I started’. I’m not sure if that’s inspiring or just a kick in teeth to those playing a quiet room, but the woman we came to see gave it a spirited try. Becky Fury (that’s her real name) hinted that she perhaps wasn’t having her best night, but she did have some interesting takes on current state of politics. I suspect the show that emerges from her Edinburgh run will be more polished than Lip Salve for the Soul. In the meantime her Star Wars movie via Corbyn memes was funny. Her visual display of how dehumanisation happens, somehow Hillary Clinton faired worse in polls than terrorists, was insightful. Plus her off the cuff material on my breasts was actually pretty fucking amusing. Anyone who can make ‘that’s how genocide happens’ a punchline & get me to laugh when the size of my tits is publicly discussed has got to have talent. I’d say book early for her 2019 show, it’ll be a cracker.
With only two shows under our belts we grabbed some very expensive fast food & headed back to our apartment. We needed a bit of rest because Tuesday was jam packed. Stay tuned for everything from medieval disco theatre to serial killer book podcasts all viewed with eyes adorned in razor sharp liner.
Sometimes a person needs a wee treat. This week has been one of those times. So, I’ve gone right ahead and picked up some bits to cheer myself up.
I’m always up for a new a nail polish. Barry M is definitely my favourite ‘drugstore’ brand. Their liquid chrome range is deliciously shiny & luxe. I can’t wait to get this silvery dream on my fingers. Keeping with the metallics I also grabbed a new highlighter. This Iced Bronze strobe cream is little more subtle than the Galactic I already have. It’s cute warmer tone is perfect for a summer glow.
My next treat was part of a successful sale haul. Snapping up bargains that you love is fab, but when everything fits & looks great; peak satisfaction. I wore this bandeau dress to lunch with bestie & her baba. It’s perfect for steamy hot days like today.
Dress – Asos Curve
Kimono – H&M
Finally I got an ingenious device that is seriously upping my eyeliner game. I am forever jealous of girls who can create banging winged looks. I’m useless with eyeliner beyond the basics. This clever little stamp is changing that. Now I can have killer wings in seconds. I can’t wait to experiment more.
Eyeliner Stamp – EBay
Small pleasures can help a tiny bit when you can’t fix the big issues. In times of trouble, I always recommend you treat yourself.
I included a picture of this outfit in a post a few weeks ago & I got few questions about it. So, thought I’d do a full outfit post on it. I call this look protest chic.
I was combining my Friday night out with an anti Trump protest. I wanted to look great whilst I used my voice for good. I was also dying to try out this amazing lace body suit.
Bodysuit – Boohoo
Skirt – Lindy Bop
I’ve definitely gotten bolder with sheer fabrics this year. I think I used to be wary partly because I’m fat, but more so because I have huge breasts. Over the years I’ve absorbed a lot of negative messages about not showing too much in that area. I’ve always raged against the notion that if I wear a low cut top my boobs are fair game. I still felt like lots of styles were automatically off limits to someone of my (breast) size. I’m so glad I’ve pushed against those limits; I feel & look great in the new styles I’ve been trying.
I absolutely adore the look of this bodysuit, but it is a bit tricky to wear. It isn’t very long, so if you’re on the taller side it’s a fidgety one to get fastened. It’s also a bit of a faff to wear as I had to keep adjusting to keep my more bra than I wanted popping out. If you’re thinking of buying it, I’d recommend sizing up.
Wedding season is in full swing & I attended my first nuptials of the year on Saturday. The sun was shining, the bride was glowing & I debuted possibly the cutest dress that ever existed. Not to make it all about me, but I was adorable.
From the cute mint green colour to the delightful jungle print, this dress was a winner. Add a rainbow petticoat & you’re into super awesome territory.
Dress – Lindy Bop
Shrug – Monsoon
Petticoat – Lindy Bop
Yes, those are tigers & parrots & a wild jungle woman. Yes, this is best dress you’ve ever seen.
I was also responsible for selecting the Toyboy’s Outfit. Thus he looked incredibly cool & handsome. I went for linen in grey tones & it worked. He garnered many compliments & I couldn’t wait to get him home.
Trousers – Next
Shirt – Next
Jacket – Burton
The wedding itself was lovely. The humanist ceremony was very personal & romantic. The setting was pretty & the bride looked stunning. We had a lot of fun hanging out with the Tb’s family. Special mention to Michael who got involved in the tequila & who definitely reads this blog.
I’m mostly a go big or go home girl. I won’t wear one colour when I can wear three. I won’t pick elegantly understated over weirdly wow. This is absolutely the way I approach choosing glasses.
I probably have too many pairs of specs, but I don’t see me being satisfied with my collection anytime soon. Every time I see bold & extravagant frames, I want them. Thus I introduce to my latest ocular obsessions.
Cat-eyes are my favourite shape & blue was a colour I did not have. Need I say more?
I don’t usually buy prescription sunnies because I always lose them, but these were just too amazing to resist. I adore these so much that I might just manage to hang onto them.
Both pairs of glasses are from where.light who are my current purveyors of crazy spectacles.