Another cruelty free quickie…

Another Friday night, another beauty quickie. This week I’m raving about nail polish. Primark nail polish to be exact.

I am a nail polish addict. I am constantly buying pretty new shades. Which can get pricey. So, I was delighted to discover that Primark cosmetics are completely cruelty free. Their polish range is extensive, gloss, matte, glitter, metallics & my favourite satin matte. They have every colour in every shade & prices range from 90p to £1.50 a bottle.

Satin Matte for when you can’t decide between high gloss & classy matte.

You’ll be wondering how good a 90p nail varnish can be. Well, I’ll tell you; they’re brilliant. I have already tried quite a few & every single variety has been fantastic. Two coats gives deep, even cover that lasts at least a week. All that without harming a single hair on any creature’s head. If Primark can do it so can luxury brands. I’m looking at you Benefit, MAC, Nars et al.

This week’s nails.

You can find a comprehensive list of cruelty free brands here.

Just a girl in a t-shirt…

On Monday night I finally made it out of house. I’ve been having a fairly bad flair and struggled to do anything at all last week. With the pain a bit more manageable & a brand new dress to wear I was excited to step out.

Cinema & sushi night with my sister is an enjoyable, but low impact excursion. It’s perfect for when I’m not feeling tip top. As is this t shirt dress. It’s super comfy & cosy whilst also being beautifully cut. The vivid print is just what is needed to chase away the January gloom.  In short it’s effortlessly perfect. 


Dress – Monki

Shoes – Primark

I also tried out some new slap. Barry M is one of my current make up favs. I’m absolutely loving this range of metallic lip paints & their strobing cream has ousted every other highlighter in my make up bag. 


Matte me up in Allure.

Strobe cream in Galactic.


After a week of jammies & greasy hair I felt pretty good. A thorough catch up with my sis & a giant Diet Coke left me feeling much improved. 



Incidentally, we saw Darkest Hour. Gary Oldman was great, but the film was only ok. If you know anything of Churchill you probably won’t appreciate this portrayal of him as the ordinary people’s hero. I wouldn’t rush to see it. 

Cruelty free quickie…

This is a friday quickie to allow me to gush about a new discovery.  My darling friend Jenna sent me a mascara from thrive causemetics as part of my Xmas gift & now I love her even more. 

I used Benefit’s They’re Real for years, but had to give it up when they returned to animal testing. I loved they’re real & I have struggled to find anything that compared. The search is over, thrive liquid extensions mascara blows benefit out of the game. It adds length & volume & gives me magnificent lashes. Even better, thrive are completely vegan & cruelty free. Plus, for every product bought they donate one to a women dealing with cancer or domestic violence. I adore this company. I suspect I am about to become their biggest customer. 


Behold my glorious lashes (& another vegan favourite, the mighty Oreo thin). 


This isn’t a sponsored post & I am not being gifted any items. I am genuinely delighted to have found such an excellent mascara from such a wonderful company.  Those who try make a positive difference should be applauded & rewarded. I hope thrive gobble up lots of the big animal testing brand’s business. Oh & if you do make a switch please email the brand and tell them why you are rejecting them. I always do!

My new year week in pictures…

2017 was a tricky year. I came really close to my version of happily ever after, but it wasn’t to be. I did however face the worst possible thing & I wasn’t destroyed by it. I welcomed a wonderful new person to my pack & said goodbye to people who deserved longer. I’ve been sick & sore and still produced work I’m really proud of. Best of all I still have a loyal & fabulous troupe who are willing to dance in my storm. That one of them is a rather lovely man with a delicious arse only makes my life better. 

I have high for 2018. There will be new nieces/nephews to adore, exciting work prospects & who knows what else. I am ready for a brand new year & it is off to a great start. What’s better than celebrating that by sharing with you all. So, here it is 2018’s inaugural week in pictures. 

The Toyboy & I made the last minute decision to spend Hogmanay at the last ever Club Noir. Thus, we rung in the new year with loads of burlesque shenanigans. It was excellent. I am so sad the Club Noir is  no more, but very pleased I got to witness its last hurrah. TB & I also decided we should definitely see more burlesque shows. If you have any recommendations, leave them in the comments.
Smiling couple at Hogmanay celebrations Club Noir Hogmanay celebrations

New Year themed nail art manicure

After a remarkably hangover free New Year’s Day spent on the sofa eating junk in my pants, I was totally ready for a little shopping. I met my Mum & Sis for the best kind of retail therapy, baby shopping! I wish I could say we were one of those perfect families who are always on the same page, but we are so not. Me, my sister & our Mum all have our very own views on what’s gorgeous in infant wear. Luckily we can all see the funny side of our disagreements & a consensus was reached. Next up on the little people front was my beautiful little Madison. I highly recommend having a best friend with a baby. I can think if no better way to spend an afternoon than talking about every last thing with my bff whilst cooing over her mini me. 4 months is a great age & Madison is a great baby. Talking of great babies, there’s my nephew. Although, to be honest Kevin is fast outgrowing the baby moniker. My little superbaby is walking, talking & totally time obsessed with birds. I spent Thursday evening playing & getting ready for bed with him and my absolute favourite part is when he brings me a book & climbs up in my lap to listen to the story; even if he does get impatient for the pages with the birdies on them.

Vegan snacks, no make up selfie

Cute bear snow suit

This is the best thing I have ever bought. 

I finished up the first week of the year with a wee sneaky hotel stay. The TB & I were visiting friends for a b’day in a slightly out of the way place, so we decided to make a getaway out of it. We had a problem with our shower & ended up with an upgrade. Our new room had the most romantic skylight directly above the bed. Falling asleep below the stars is definitely a treat. I sn big believer in a nice hotel to chase away the January blues. You don’t have to go far, one look at the fancy bathroom & breakfast in bed menu will whisk you away from your daily drudge. Being a luxury bitch does everyone a little good. 

Romantic winter mini break, Scotland
And as always here are variety of other things that pleased me. 

Glasgow underground, winter sun, thigh tattoo in the bath

I hope 2018 has found you well & continues to treat you right. 

Merry Christmas, Baby…

Welcome to crimbo limbo. It’s that time of year when it is totally acceptable to wear your jammies all day long & ignore all the usual food (& drink conventions). Do you want champagne for breakfast? Have it, just bung a little fruit juice in. Fancy a piece & potato? Knock yourself out, carb on carb is GOOD. It’s anything goes & I love it.

I have had the loveliest Xmas, but there was was a lot of running around & really late nights followed by early mornings. So, I’m enjoying a little down time. Before I turn off entirely I thought I would share a little of my Christmas. 

Happy plus size woman in velvet dress
Dress – SimplyBe

Xmas #ootd was one of my gifts from my lovely Mum. She hit it out of the park with this one. It’s so sumptious. I am in love. 

I did Xmas eve in the pub with the toyboy & his friends, but retired to mum’s house early. Jim jams & old movies is the way to welcome Xmas day. 


We got a tiny bit festive for Xmas eve drinks.

Mum & I rocked Xmas day together. Seven brides for seven brothers, delicious vegan dinner & a lot of my new highlighter made for a good day. I spent the evening at the TB’s parents. Christmas bauble cocktails, even more pressies, a freestyle Mary & Joseph rap and multiple Santa suits completed my day. 

Necklace – Kracken Jewellery

I also got to watch both my niece & nephew open their presents via FaceTime. Their happy wee faces were definitely my festive favourites.

I am lucky girl with wonderful friends & family. Oh & I got the most excellent gifts too! I hope you all had an equally fabulous festive period. 

And of course it wouldn’t be Xmas without a festive manicure. So, here’s all of my December nail art efforts. 



I now intend to do a whole lot of resting in preparation for kicking 2018’s arse. See you in the new year.

Spoonie tour guide is go…

Last week my sis in law’s nephew was visiting from Australia. He is making good use of his youth & doing a little travelling. His epic trip takes him around Europe before hitting the south of Africa & then stopping off in UAE on the way back down under. Obviously we wanted to show our visiting family a good time. Thus, the spoonie tour guide & another week in pictures was born. 

Since Simon’s mum & aunts had spent happy years in Glasgow he wanted to have a good look around. My brother & niece are also cheerleaders for our fair city, so we didn’t want to let the side down. First stop was Kelvingrove Art Gallery & Museum. Kelvingrove is one of my favourite places. An impressive collection of varied exhibits housed in a stunning building, which itself sits in a beautiful park. Simon was impressed with the architecture & variety. I was delighted to get reacquainted with my favourite Lowry, some early body positive art & a really old tree.

Kelvingrove Art gallery & Museum


We capped of Kelvingrove with a quick walk in the park. After saying hello to some very friendly squirrels we were joined by my mum & sister for a bite to eat. Special mention for Brewdogs’s vegan hotdog. Yummers.

Glasgow Xmas lights

Pitch black & freezing by half 5 isn’t ideal for visitors used to a warmer climate, but it does show off the Christmas lights to perfection. I swear Fraser’s add more lights every year. I’m not complaining, I’m a sucker for a twinkly light. Argyle arcade is getting in on the action too. We thought this looked like a very festive cat. What do you think?

In between excursions I squeezed in a date night with the Toyboy. Wagamama’a vegan pad Thai & The Death of Stalin are getting a big thumbs up. They are respectively delicious & hilarious. The TB agreed. I also found a little time to beautify my nails & spread some #ProjectPostIt wisdom.

Project post it

On Wednesday we took a day trip to Edinburgh. Simon was really keen to see the castle (his first) & it didn’t disappoint. We were really lucky to get fresh, clear day. The views from the castle were spectacular. 


I hadn’t been inside the castle since I was a child, but was pleasantly surprised. The buildings are amazing & the restoration inside is really well done. There are are so many little details that are so well done. It’s crazy to peer out of windows & realise much of what you’re looking is as it was hundreds of years ago. 


We met this fine unicorn fella & his lion friend keeping watch outside the National War Memorial. Plus discovered this cemetery for soldier’s dogs. R.I.P. puppers. 


Importantly,  our castle visit finally bestowed upon me the recognition I deserve. I am Scotland’s Crown Jewels. 


With temperatures dropping we got Simon inside for some food. Then had a quick mess around with the mirrors at the camera obscura. This is a fab attraction that we sadly didn’t have time for, but it’s definitely worth a visit. A quick glimpse at more Xmas lights warmed our hearts before we headed back west.

On his last full day in Scotland we took our intrepid traveller to Loch Lomond. What better spot to show off our country than on the Bonnie, Bonnie banks?



The view from Luss pier is divine. The village is lovely, the pub has a real fire & hearty fare. We couldn’t ask for more. 

We got back into town with just enough time to check out the Xmas market, more lights & gorge ourselves in the swanky Atlantic Line. 

As much fun as I had during my stint as a spoonie tour guide, it wore me out. Thus a weekend in my jammies with this pair was in order. There is a lot to be said for hot baths, cuddles & carry on.

Early bird gift guide…

I know I am getting into the Xmas chat a bit early & I apologise. I only do it because it takes me ages to get organised. I have loads of Dec birthdays & far off loved ones to send to on top of regular Xmas. The added complications of spoonie life means I’m usually already quietly Xmas shopping in October. I am certain there are others just like me out there, thus I thought some early gift guides might be useful.

I’m staring with this fairly random guide as I think most folk are a bit eclectic in their tastes. I find all those really specific guides a bit annoying because very few people fit in just one box. So, i have collated this bunch of cool, but varied gifts. I’m calling it, traditional eclectic, all the standard crimbo fare with some twists. 

I may have mentioned before that christmas without velvet is just not on. Velvet clothes feel divine, so imagine how amazing this most tactile of fabrics would feel right next to your skin. Yup, velvet lingerie is definitely a sexy festive gift. Of course along with something to slink about in, something to slob in is also required at Xmas. Never underestimate the power of good jammies. 

All good book shops, New Look, Plus size lingerie lounge, New Look, All good book shops,The literary gift company. 

Hand in hand with nightwear go a really good book & this delightful cushion to lounge upon. I have become a bit of a cushion fanatic, but I think most book lovers would be pleased with this couch addition. 

Everyone likes a bit fancy at Xmas time. Wether that be twinkling on your eyelids or quirky touches around the house. 


eBay, Asda Home, Urban Decay (Heavy Metal). 


Barry M, I want one of those, Pyro Pet, Ciate (Glitter Flip).

The rise of the christmas jumper in recent years has tickled my fancy. The sheer variety of festive knitwear means there is something to suit all tastes. Chocolate & jewellery are also Xmas staples. Again, if you look hard enough you can find some to please everyone. 


Vegan Town, Marks & Spencer’s, Bonnie Bling. 

As a kid I always had a holy advent calendar, so the idea of a vegan choc one really appeals to me. Making a statement with my accessories is so up my street, but sometimes I just want my baubles to look pretty.  There’s a bit of each here.


Rebel Circis, Marks & Spencer’s, Fuck the Tories. 

If my haste upsets you, I get it. If however you have a massive Xmas list that you need to get ahead of, have at it. 

They say it’s your birthday…

I had a birthday last week. I celebrated the proper way with sushi, cocktails & loved ones. I was spoiled with gorgeous gifts & even better company. Unfortunately I was also blessed with the worst hangover on the world the next morning

Perhaps it’s my advancing years or the fact that I don’t drink much anymore, but 4 drinks should not add up to feeling like you might die. My head had actually started hurting before I fell asleep. Pile on some hardcore menstrual pain (yup, I got my period for my birthday too) & I think I would have been forgiven for hiding in bed. I actually had a child’s birthday party to attend. I’m quite proud of myself for getting up, donning some presents & hitting that gathering. 


Dress – Asos Curve

Biker Jacket – Capsule

Tights – Gift 

Boots – Primark

Necklace – Taking Shape

Bag – Primark

I was flagging a little by the time these pics were snapped, but still looking cute. The observant amongst you will notice this t shirt dress appeared in my wish list last week. My clever little sister snapped it up for my birthday along with the most perfect autumn tights. I usually go for more curve hugging styles, but I really love this dress. It’s so bright & comfy; it feels great. Paired with a biker, scarf & a velvet clutch it kills. 

Velvet clutch

I feel incredibly smug about these boots. They were a sneaky bargain from everyone’s favourite fast fashion outlet, but are cool af. Pearls? yes. Floral print? yes. On a big clunky boot? Omg, yes! I expect to wear the soles right off them. 


Oh & a wee peek at the night before. Not doing too bad for 37.

ly h Kerr

Fringe benefits…

Last weekend I was in Edinburgh for the closing days of the festival. I had such a good time, but as is the spoonie way, it took me days to recover. I also had some exciting going ons keeping me busy this week, so it’s taken me a while to put a post together. Obviously the fringe is over, but you can catch my recommendations performing around the country all year.

I have been a Neil Holborn fan for a while, but this was my first opportunity to see him perform. He did not disappoint. His poetry is stunning; words have so much power when manipulated correctly. Much of his work packs a punch, but he can apply a light comedic touch too. Neil has been receiving some well deserved acclaim recently & I hope his star continues to ascend. 

The next two shows were the toyboy’s choices. I’m going to give him credit for content, but a big fat zero for the venues being so far apart. Lost Voice Guy tackles inspiration porn, tory welfare cuts & his own experience of disability all whilst being highly amusing. Chris Coltrane continued the political stand up with his Make Love and Smash Facism show. If like me, you’re a left wing, bleeding heart liberal who likes a lot of swearing, this is the show for you. If like me you also have a very dodgy knee & often faint in hot rooms, The Banshee may not be the venue for you. Edinburgh is possibly the least accessible city in existence, so when I say I had a good time, you know the shows were good. 


After drinks & dinner & more drinks we hit a late night comedy show at The Mash House (another contender for hottest spot outside hell). Two girls one cup of comedy was a show that guaranteed at least two female stand ups every night. We caught the very last show which, to my delight, was an all women line up. The stand out for me was definitely Samantha Baines. Her compèreing combined quality puns, hilarious audience interaction & a tiny bit of man mocking. Turns out I’ve been under a rock & Baines is already rather well known & loved. I am glad to have joined the party, even if I am very late. 

We saw some other bits & pieces and visited a few non fringe related spots, but these are my picks. I recommend you rush to them should they visit your vicinity. 

The end of festival fireworks were really beautiful too. 


*Photo credit, top right – Stephen Black.

I ain’t buying it…

I was planning a wish list post when it dawned on me that I had already procured most of the things I had been wishing for. It has been an accidentally/couldn’t help myself spendy few weeks. So, instead I thought I’d knock up a list of the over hyped things that I just don’t want. The things blogs & insta are packed with that I just can’t get excited about. 

I am totally used to being the odd one out, but I’m thinking there must be even one other person out there as puzzled as I am. 

1. Highlighter for yourVulva 

The Perfect V is a company who make beauty products for your vulva. Their line includes, yes, highligter. Listen to me, your genitals do not need make up. Nor does your vulva require exfoliation rejuvenating serums or specialised cleansers. Your bits look exactly as the should. Please do not succumb to this internalised misogyny. Shades of V is a £35 yeast infection. Your lily does not need gilded. 

2. Urban Decay Heat Palette

I’ve never been a massive make up girl. Don’t get me wrong I love my slap, but I don’t wear it everyday. In fact, most days I wear none at all. So, new make up releases do not generally excite me. However, the hype on this palette was massive. Everyone was talking about it before it was released & i’m still seeing exhilarated blogs, weeks later. Here’s the thing, it is a collection of warm neutral eyeshadows.  You know, like almost every other palette you see these days. Is there a make up wearing person left on earth who does not already have some shimmery brown eyeshadow? Maybe it’s me, but I don’t get it & I definitely don’t want. 

3. Matcha 

It is in everything & I don’t like it. The tea tastes yuck so I don’t want it in my cakes, ice cream, toothpaste, lip balm or bloody cocktails. Bye matcha. 

4. Bralettes

Suddenly no one wears a bra.  It’s all slivers of lace & whispers of sexy fabric. All prettier than most clothes & encasing beautiful pert breast.  Ok, truth, I only hate bralettes because my tits damn near need the finnieston crane to hold them up. They do sell bralettes for big boobs, but they are LIES & I am BITTER. 


5. Mac, Avon, Nars…

and every other brand that caved to China’s brutal animal testing policies. In case you aren’t aware, china requires products sold there to be tested on animals. For some big name cosmetic companies that means going back on their word to ditch animal testing. Profit is more important than ethics for some brands. As far as I’m concerned cruelty is for cunts. 


You can find cruelty free alternatives here.

6. Gin

I have a pathological hatred of the stuff & it’s everywhere. A couple of years ago folk cottoned onto how cheap & easy it is to make gin. Then PR people went mental. Now I have to wade through swamps of gin everytime I want a drink. I know it’s being marketed as coolest tipple, but I’m not buying it.