I was planning a wish list post when it dawned on me that I had already procured most of the things I had been wishing for. It has been an accidentally/couldn’t help myself spendy few weeks. So, instead I thought I’d knock up a list of the over hyped things that I just don’t want. The things blogs & insta are packed with that I just can’t get excited about.
I am totally used to being the odd one out, but I’m thinking there must be even one other person out there as puzzled as I am.
1. Highlighter for yourVulva
The Perfect V is a company who make beauty products for your vulva. Their line includes, yes, highligter. Listen to me, your genitals do not need make up. Nor does your vulva require exfoliation rejuvenating serums or specialised cleansers. Your bits look exactly as the should. Please do not succumb to this internalised misogyny. Shades of V is a £35 yeast infection. Your lily does not need gilded.
2. Urban Decay Heat Palette
I’ve never been a massive make up girl. Don’t get me wrong I love my slap, but I don’t wear it everyday. In fact, most days I wear none at all. So, new make up releases do not generally excite me. However, the hype on this palette was massive. Everyone was talking about it before it was released & i’m still seeing exhilarated blogs, weeks later. Here’s the thing, it is a collection of warm neutral eyeshadows. You know, like almost every other palette you see these days. Is there a make up wearing person left on earth who does not already have some shimmery brown eyeshadow? Maybe it’s me, but I don’t get it & I definitely don’t want.
It is in everything & I don’t like it. The tea tastes yuck so I don’t want it in my cakes, ice cream, toothpaste, lip balm or bloody cocktails. Bye matcha.
Suddenly no one wears a bra. It’s all slivers of lace & whispers of sexy fabric. All prettier than most clothes & encasing beautiful pert breast. Ok, truth, I only hate bralettes because my tits damn near need the finnieston crane to hold them up. They do sell bralettes for big boobs, but they are LIES & I am BITTER.
and every other brand that caved to China’s brutal animal testing policies. In case you aren’t aware, china requires products sold there to be tested on animals. For some big name cosmetic companies that means going back on their word to ditch animal testing. Profit is more important than ethics for some brands. As far as I’m concerned cruelty is for cunts.
You can find cruelty free alternatives here.
I have a pathological hatred of the stuff & it’s everywhere. A couple of years ago folk cottoned onto how cheap & easy it is to make gin. Then PR people went mental. Now I have to wade through swamps of gin everytime I want a drink. I know it’s being marketed as coolest tipple, but I’m not buying it.
10 thoughts on “I ain’t buying it…”
this one made me laugh out loud. tend to agree – and make-up for your lady parts? what the bloody hell?!?!?!!
I loved reading this! I’m with you on the gin thing. I hate the stuff and it’s everywhere and everyone keeps swearing it’s amazing when it’s not!
Rachel || https://wordofrachel.com
Gin is the worst
Oh my god, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes! The only one I don’t agree with is matcha, but that’s because I haven’t tried it, so you never know… This was hilarious though, and occasionally eye-opening, thank you!
Thank you & trust me on the matcha! Xx
What an excellent post! I love it and totally agree with you almost completely, but I have always liked a wee gin and am enjoying the variety available. Bralettes for big boobs would be awesome though, wouldn’t they…
I would love a wee lacy one, but it would need to be reinforced 🙂
I don’t know why I’m surprised that vulva highligher is a thing. Of course it is *rolls eyes*
I don’t like matcha either, I’m so glad it’s not just me!
They’ll try to sell us anything at this point, I think.
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