Lifestyle

You keep making me ill…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

It gives me zero pleasure to say, but my concerns about the current government have proved to be correct. In the last few weeks I have watched aghast as Labour MPs have announced plans to gut disability benefits. Watching Wes Streeting boast about enacting Tory policies was a sickening confirmation of how far his party has fallen.

It is exhausting to repeatedly repudiate the narrative politicians spin about disabled people. However, it seems it is again necessary. I’d like to give you a simple run down on why Labour’s proposed cuts are wrong. Hopefully I can also dispel the lies they are telling to defend them.

Let’s start with what Personal Independence Payment (PIP) actually is. It is a benefit payable to those with a severe disability. It is not an out of work benefit. Nor is it means tested. The purpose of PIP is to mitigate the extra costs that come with disability and/or longterm illness. The latest stats show that the average extra cost for a disabled person is £975 p/m. Compare that to the maximum PIP payment of £737 p/m and it becomes clear that no one is living the high life via disability benefits. There are many people in receipt of PIP who do work. Those who don’t are unable to.

Labour plans are to freeze the payment (stop increases to keep up with inflation) and tighten the qualifying criteria. Their contention being that too many people receive PIP due it being too easy to qualify. They also push the idea that there are many people receiving benefit who do not need it. Labour is continuing where the Tories left off with targeting one of our most vulnerable populations. Welfare recipients and disabled people in particular are an easy target.

The assertion that it’s too easy to qualify for PIP is ridiculous. Let me be clear, no one without an official diagnosis is receiving disability benefits. Successfully applying for PIP is an incredibly onerous endeavour. The process requires extensive disclosures, evidence and the support of medical professionals. The system already purposely discriminates against those with mental illness. Alarmingly, Labour MPs are making a lot of noise about the rise in those out of work due to mental illness; giving a big hint as to who they may go after. Expert medical opinion is already ignored when it comes to work capability assessments. Our previous government destroyed lives with denials and unnecessary reassessments. Many of which were over turned by appeal. The problem for disabled people is the toll this process takes. Applying or appealing a decision is exhaustive and intrusive. The process strips applicants of dignity, applies incredible stress and often makes people sicker. The DWP routinely reject applications from people they know qualify. What Labour mean when they say they want to make us harder to qualify is that they knowingly want to deny essential help to people who absolutely need it. The DWP’s own findings assess the fraud rate for PIP at 0%. There is no evidence to suggest that anyone is taking advantage of disability benefits. Removing PIP will not encourage people back into work. Those who are unable to work will not be cured. Those awaiting treatment will not magically jump to the head of NHS queues. Those who would like to work, but cannot find an employer to meet their accommodation needs will be in the same position. The sick and disabled are not the cause of the UK’s financial problems. Nor is it within their power to alter their situation in life. Our government know this and still choose to make cuts to a life saving benefit.

What Labour have become under Keir Starmer is shameful. The PR campaign for their benefit cuts will further stigmatise a group merely trying to survive. Starmer & friends are too cowardly to tackle the rich with tax increases, closing tax loopholes and similar policies. Thus they turn the might of the government and sections of the media against the group least able to fight back. They do this fully aware of the consequences. Disabled people will die.

If you like what I do you can support me on Patreon.

Somewhere beyond the sea…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

During the school holidays we took a little trip. It was a belated birthday getaway for my sister, who turned 40 in December. We also both needed a bit of a break. What better way to relax than to take a 7yr and 6mth old to a blustery island?

Believe it not or it was bliss. I go away with my sister and the boys fairly often. In fact I start to yearn for round the clock auntie time if we leave it too long. Pleasingly big nephew also clammers for our next holiday. This was our first go with the new edition and it was wonderful.

Arran was, as expected, stunning. By pure chance I always seem to visit Scottish islands off season. Honestly, I think I like it that way. The rugged beauty in Scotland lends itself to the wilder aspects of our climate. If you’ve never stood in the middle of Scottish nowhere on a cold blustery day, you really should try it. There is something wonderful about wrapping up warm and venturing into the wilderness.

Anyway, back to this trip. We stayed at Auchrannie Resort which is genius combination of spa retreat and family focused. We were obviously taking advantage of the kid friendly aspects, but it would make a fabulous grown up escape too.

I had an absolute ball with my sister and nephews. We did a lot of swimming, explored the island and even a bit of archery. Turns out that for some reason I’m a pretty good archer. A fact that annoyed my competitive little sis. Come the apocalypse my chances of survival have increased, as long as I can get hold of a bow and arrow.

I of course indulged in one of my favourite hotel experiences, the buffet breakfast. I rarely eat breakfast. The luxury of having anything I could want prepared and ready tickles me. I don’t choose anything fancy, but I still love it. Toast, cornflakes & potato scones also happen to be the best fuel for a day in the great outdoors.

On our first day we set out in search of some standing stones. Unfortunately the big daddy stones were a trek too far for me. I did manage to reach a smaller stone circle, which was just as atmospheric. My sister and the boys headed on to the big stone circle whilst I enjoyed a little alone time. There is something magical about being amongst all that wild beauty and feeling completely alone. I live in big city and am never very far from other people. Don’t get me wrong, I love the hustle. There is however a part of me that longs for that fresh cold air in my lungs and no people.

We also managed to take in a few of the islands beaches. It rained on our last day, but that didn’t stop us. I prefer a gloomy beach, wind & rain feel like the real personality of the sea.

All in all it was the perfect trip. Now to buckle back down the drudge of daily life.

If you like what I do you can support me on Patreon.

I walk the line…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

I’ve needed my walking stick for quite a long time. Maybe 7 or 8 years and I’ve only just become properly comfortable with it. Using a mobility aid, especially earlier in life, is very strange. Everyone has an opinion. No one is shy about sharing it.

All the questions and reactions definitely had an impact on me. I feel self conscious more often than one might expect. I hate when strangers want my medical history. Staring makes me feel shit or angry; sometimes both. I am so fed up with being told I’m so young for a walking stick. I find it really difficult to need accommodations. I feel like a real pain in the arse more often than anyone else is bothered. Likewise, I’m sure I sense judgement more than it actually exists. All of which messes with the confidence.

Then of course there is a sense of loss. Accepting all the things you can no longer do is hard. I struggled on without a stick for longer than I should have because I had this ridiculous idea that I was giving in. I’ve always felt a certain amount of pressure to be stoic in the face of my health issues. A walking stick felt like capitulation. It also forced me across the line in my head of admitting that I was permanently disabled. Before that I was hanging on to the idea that my knee could get better. That was silly considering I’d been assured by more than one Dr that it absolutely would not. Degenerative conditions aren’t known for improvement.

All told, it’s been trickier than I’ve let on. I’ve finally found peace. How do I know? I have personalised my stick. The idea of making it in any way decorative used to make me feel queasy. I have concluded that my subconscious attached styling the stick with it being part of my identity. The way I dress has always reflected my personality. Until very recently including my walking stick in that was a frightening prospect.

Klimt Style

I’m over the line again. If I’m taking the bloody thing every where it might as well be a bit funky. Keep your eyes peeled for new incarnations. Knowing me, I’ll be mixing up it.

Moo Style

If you like what I do you can support me on Patreon.

Lies and Distractions…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

Just when I thought Keir Starmer was the most rage inducing Labour politician, Tony Blair popped his head out of whatever luxury hole he currently resides in. He decided that we all needed to hear his ableist and stigmatising opinions.

This statement is vile in a number of ways. Blair’s wilful ignorance will contribute to rising disability hate. There is no excuse for someone in his position to feed the right wing ‘scrounger’ narrative. I feel compelled to clear some things up.

Self Diagnosis

There is one reason and one reason only that there has been a rise in ‘self diagnosis’. That is inability to access mental health services. NHS waiting lists are long and actually getting a referral in the first place is laborious. Many people are instead directed to online resources and/or NHS helplines. Those who make it onto a waiting list may still have battles ahead. Most patients are offered a short course of CBT*, a modality that is not suitable for everyone and is often counterproductive. Those struggling to deal with mental illness are not researching symptoms and looking for a diagnosis for the hell of it. They do so because they are desperate. They are not adequately supported by professionals and are driven to find their own answers.

Disability Benefits Bill

Let me be clear, no one without an official diagnosis is receiving disability benefits. Successfully applying for these benefits (PIP, DLA, ESA or ADP**) is an incredibly onerous endeavour. The process requires extensive disclosures, evidence and the support of medical professionals. The system already purposely discriminates against those with mental illness. The criteria are designed to exclude symptoms and difficulties experienced by those with common mental illness like depression or anxiety. Many people with a professional diagnosis and treatment input from psychiatric services are denied these benefits. There is zero chance of someone just saying they have a condition and being approved.

Gaming the System

Implying that large numbers of people are illegitimately claiming benefits is dangerous and inaccurate. Fraud rates for disability benefits are very low. In fact, there is a higher percentage of claimants being underpaid. The application process is exhaustive. It is intentionally stressful and intimidating. Assessors frequently over ride expert medical opinion despite being unqualified to evaluate the conditions claimants have. Vast numbers of claims are rejected only to be overturned on appeal. Contrary to the current narrative, disabled people are often denied support they are entitled to.

***

Scapegoats

Disabled people make great scapegoats. We are one of the most vulnerable demographics. Often with little emotional or physical resources to fight the bureaucracy. We have been subject to harsh conditions since the beginning of austerity. Research from the University of York found that the impact of cuts to social & healthcare were linked to over 57,000 more deaths than expected between 2010 – 2014 alone. The perception that disability benefits are easily scammed and so costly as to damage the economy further endangers us. In 2023/2004 multiple regions in the UK recorded their highest number of disability hate crimes. Being scapegoated by those in positions of power is nothing new. The Tories have been using us as a distraction from their disastrous policies and corruption for years. To have Labour join in is a tough blow. I didn’t have high hopes for this government, but this page from the Conservative playbook is still alarming. Yes, I know that Blair is not a member of our government, but he does still hold sway within the party. His comments will absolutely be associated with Labour.

Disabled people are not to blame for the crisis in our health service. The UK has been experiencing a swell in both physical and mental illness for a number of years. This is as a result of deteriorating public services and a drop in quality of life. The pandemic played a part, but the biggest culprits are our political leaders. It disgusting that the trend of pointing the finger at a vulnerable group to distract from the reality of governmental failures is set to continue.

* Cognitive Behaviour Therapy

** Personal Independence Payment. Disability Living Allowance. Employment and Support Allowance. Adult Disability Payment.

*** Department of Works & Pensions

If you like what I do you can support me on Patreon.

Another year over & what have we done…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

No doubt everywhere you look you’re seeing lists of achievements, New Year’s resolutions and diet talk. Of course, I am here to interrupt all that bullshit.

For starters, you are not required to have a list of great successes. Some years are a hard slog. We all have different obstacles. For that matter we also have different goals and aspirations. Some folk are happy with their status quo and that is perfectly fine. If you’re worrying about your wins not being big or plentiful enough, please don’t. You made it & that’s enough. I don’t care if you didn’t get a big promotion or a new house, you did do every single day. You took care of yourself (& anyone else you’re responsible for), you paid the bills & made the dinners. You were also there for people in your life, you celebrated birthdays and talked through tough times. You are important, you matter in your everyday life. In the words of Self Esteem, ‘all the days you get to have are big days’. So congratulations, you have completed another turn around the sun. I’m certain you’ve had more impact than you know.

Let’s move along to the resolutions. If there are things you want to do by all means set a goal, make a plan. However, you are not obligated to change or become ‘better’ just because we entered a new year. Chances are you already have a whole heap of stuff piled on your plate. Perhaps you’re struggling to digest all that last year brought. Or maybe you’re half through a project or plan. It’s all good. Jan 1st doesn’t really signify anything. Just keep going.

Finally we come to my most disliked new year pressure; weight loss. You are going to be with adverts, influencers and people in your life telling you about their diet. Everyone will have the answer. This new medication, plan, supplement is the real thing. Let me save you a lot of trouble, it’s all crap. It’s the same thing repackaged and trying to convince you it is the answer to all your problems. Diets don’t work. Deep down we all know that. The vast majority of people regain anything shed via intentional weight loss. In fact, most of us add a bit extra too. What’s more, making your body smaller doesn’t fix anything inside you. It’s not a magic wand. In case you don’t hear it anywhere else, I’m going to say it; your worth is not tied to your weight.

You can live your life right now. Shrinking your body is not required. You do not have to for indulging over the festive season. Nor do you have to put anything on hold until you are smaller. Health and weight loss are not the same thing.

In short, you are enough. I hope you feel that and take it into 2025.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Do you wanna see these clothes on me…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

No matter what my Christmas Day plans are, I always dress up. It probably stems from always having a new outfit for the big day as a child. In any case it’s a thing I have continued. This year getting dolled up was actually required.

My brother invited to us have Xmas dinner at the castle he was married in. It’s a beautiful place that holds sentimental memories from childhood and of course his wedding. Of course I spruced myself up for the occasion. This corset top was an impulse sale buy. It felt a little bare, so I popped this little sheer top underneath. I felt pretty good with the resultant look.

Corset Top – Pretty Little Thing Top – Daisy Street Trousers – Elvi

We had a lovely time. The food was gorgeous; best vegan cheesecake I’ve ever tasted. My nephews had fun opening presents and telling crackers jokes. Santa even made a visit to our table.

Boxing Day is Mum’s birthday. Thus we gathered to celebrate at my sister’s. I was ready for a more relaxed outfit. Luckily, Mum had gave me this cosy hoodie the previous day. Much fun was had with my nephew’s new toys. Predictably, I am as bad at switch sports as the real thing.

Hoodie – Gift

I feel very lucky to have so many wonderful people to enjoy the season with. I hope you all had a safe and comfortable Christmas.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Through the echoes…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

Last month I added to my tattoo collection in the best way possible. I got a beautiful profile portrait of my beloved Bronan.

I lost my gorgeous boy in July and it has been impossible to get used to life without him. My home still feels empty without his demanding presence. A memorial tattoo felt like the perfect way to always have him with me. The fantastic Lauren at Luna Tattoo captured my boy perfectly.

I wanted a really simple black profile that highlighted the shape of his nose and white stripe. I adore him. I also had a great experience at Luna. I love being tattooed by women. Lauren made me so comfortable and I loved the vibe they’ve created at Luna. If you’re local, I highly recommend this shop.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Jingle the shingles…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

My absence has continued. I know, I’m full of excuses. I’m apologise. I just keep getting ill or my meds get messed up or the someone in the world does another really fucked up thing. Anyway, this time it’s shingles. Again.

Yup, I have shingles for the third time in 2yrs. I feel a little bit cursed, but my dr assure me it’s actually my immune system and stress that are the culprits. Oh and being a woman; another perk of my sex. We caught it quick, anti virals galore with a bit of luck it won’t get too horrendous. I feel shitty, but it’s manageable. In amongst all my of body’s fuckwittery there has also been a touch of writers block and a general lack of motivation. What I can offer you is some mini reviews of books that have been keeping company.

We’ll start with good, The Alienist by Caleb Carr. This was re read, but the first read was so long ago that I had forgotten most of the details. I enjoyed it so much that I dove straight into the next book in the series, The Angel of Darkness. Both are set in 1890’s NYC. They follow a group of unofficial detectives on the trail of horrific serial killers. They’re led by Dr Kreisler, a pioneering psychologist who uses his unorthodox theories to capture their foe. The rest of the team is comprised of journalist John Moore, trailblazing police secretary Sara Howard and experts in new detective & forensic techniques the Issacson brothers. I love the way emerging ideas that are now commonplace are intertwined throughout the story. They’re classic crime thrillers with intriguing characters. Incredibly engaging, highly recommend.

I am less effusive about Love Untold by Ruth Jones. The book follows four generations of women in a family. It is an interesting story, but not well executed. Some of the character flaws make it difficult to like them, which impacts the books resolution. I also find the plot reveals to be clunky. The book meanders for chapters and then has huge plot dumps. It felt very unsatisfying.

My sister lent me Three Hours by Rosamund Lipton. It’s not my usual thing, but I enjoyed it. Set during a school shooting and told from various perspectives. It is a high tension page turner with some nice twists. The characters are really well developed; the other does a fantastic job of making you care about them.

I hope to regain my mojo very soon. I am doing my best to get into the Christmas spirit. Fingers crossed!

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

The smallest man who ever lived…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

I’m feeling like I shouldn’t have titled my last post Crazy Little World since it just got a whole lot crazier. The US election results hit me hard. I really struggle to reconcile the fact that so many people actively support that dangerous, hateful man.

I feel scared for the world. I am terrified for the many real people who will be hurt by another Trump presidency. The trend of politics sliding to right horrifies me. I don’t understand why people are so easily conned into hating groups who have done them no harm.

I despair at the inadequacy of our own government. Keir Starmer’s refusal to take action to protect Palestinians, but eagerness to congratulate Trump is cowardly. Under his leadership Labour have become unrecognisable. Their failure to protect the vulnerable in our society is unforgivable. I fear that inaction will lead to a loss at the next general election and throw us back under Tory rule. So far Labour have not done much to offer me hope.

It’s a frightening landscape that I want to improve. The scale of our situation feels overwhelming. Just telling people to vote feels far from sufficient. The truth is I don’t have the answers, I don’t know who does. The best I can do is stay engaged; I will continue to vote at every level, I will protest, sign petitions, get my hands dirty where possible. Right now I feel like supporting organisations who can help those in jeopardy is paramount.

Reproductive rights are under threat. People are dying because they cannot access the medical care they require during pregnancy. Extremist groups based in the US are trying to make inroads into other countries. If you want to keep access to abortion legal/decriminalise it and help people get pregnant people the care they need you can support one of these organisations.

The National Network of Abortion Funds

BPAS

Abortion Rights Scotland

The situation in Palestine continues to grow worse. Israeli aggression remains unrestrained. Cities have been destroyed. People are fighting warfare, starvation & disease to stay alive. A genocide is taking place, if you can please support one of these fundraisers.

Get Haitham’s family to safety.

Hands for Humanity

Medical Aid for Palestine

Although the UK is a relatively rich country, people will suffer this winter. Shelter, food and heat will be a scarcity for many. Please consider giving your support to one of these organisations.

Shelter Scotland

Trussel Trust

Refuweegee

October skies…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

Oh, I have so much to say. Labour’s cowardly first 100 days have rendered me overwhelmed; fat phobic announcements, abandoning people they’re supposed to fight for, refusal to stand up to Isreal et al. I am working on pieces expressing how I feel about all of that. In the meantime, I am giving you a little round up of my more light hearted goings on. I just didn’t anyone to think I was ignoring the ongoing horrors.

Thursday night dinners with my Brother & his boys are always fun. I love catching up on what my nephews have been getting up to. Last week I had these adorable decorate yourself Halloween biscuits for them and they told me about their spooky costume plans. For this little outing I wore the dress that my sister got me for my birthday. It’s the perfect autumn dress. I love the soft waffle fabric & the long fluted sleeves. I especially enjoy how comfy it is whilst also making me va va voom.

Dress – ASOS
Cookies – Graceful Favours

Last weekend I finally got out to see my amazing friend Lisa. We had an in depth catch up and her 12 yr old son declared me still cool. I consider this a huge win. A weekend on the east coast was lovely. Good friends, good food and even the train didn’t stress me out too much.

Getting back to the Halloween theme, I did some spooky crafts with more niblings this week. It’s school holidays up here and the weather hasn’t been playing ball. They all loved the pumpkin headbands & my big niece also made a beautiful wreath for her bedroom door. I love doing things like this with the wee ones. Watching their creativity and excitement always makes me smile.

Finally, I rounded up the October week with a big adventure. We set off at the crack of dawn yesterday to drive up to Landmark Adventure Park. It’s a forest adventure park near Aviemore and it’s absolutely with the trip. My sis & her big boy tackled all the climbing, water slides & trampolining in the sky. Myself & the tiny boy watched from one of many comfortable benches. Don’t worry though, there were activities I could manage including a labyrinth & meeting my favourite dinosaur. There is a fair bit of walking involved, but plentiful places to sit and rest along the way. We stayed right up until closing time and arrived home exhausted last night!

I recognise how privileged I am to be able to spend a week having fun with my friends and family. All of my loved ones are safe, my niblings are able to enjoy their childhoods free from peril. The people of Gaza are denied that. I think it is incumbent upon us to remember how lucky we are and do whatever we can to help. If you are able please make a donation to help Haitham and his family reach safety.