Lifestyle

Take it or Leave it…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

Recently I had what turned out to be naive idea. I was thinking about how I should be getting out more, break out of my routine, stop missing cool things I wanted to see. All good thoughts. Then I got cocky. I thought, hey, maybe I should meet some new people too. Bad thought.

I decided it might be fun to combine fun dating with interesting happenings. Of course I was entirely forgetting how low my tolerance levels are. So, what’s a girl to do? Write about it of course.

Date 1

We’ll call him Grey. Started off very well. We chatted a little online, he was engaging & intelligent. We shared plenty of interests. It didn’t hurt that Grey was handsome in exactly the way I like. When he suggested we check out Books at The Botanic I thought, this guy has potential. Then I spent an hour browsing books with a man who had clearly consumed some toxic pick up guy content. Every title I picked was beneath him. He commented on how surprised he was that I would enjoy ‘typically girlie stuff’ like Jane Austen. There were a couple of jokes about my never having been married. When he wondered if I could ‘strengthen’ my arthritic knees if I didn’t use my walking stick all the time I was done. No man is handsome enough to get away with such patronising bullshit.

Antique green leather bound Jane Austen Novels

Date 2

Cute & quirky, he seemed like fun. We had some enjoyable back & forth. Let’s call him Ha Ha. We met for sushi at a place he suggested. So, it was a surprise to me that he commented on the prices being too high. The chat was good, he was funny. It felt like we were both having fun. Lots of laughs led to cocktails and again, he wasn’t happy about the price tag. I was now officially uncomfortable. I get really embarrassed about this kind of thing. I don’t like to talk about money with people I don’t know well. Bitching about the price of a cocktail in a place you picked, gives me the ick. I drank my margarita & tried to think of a non awkward way to assure him I was happy to pay. I needn’t have bothered, on arrival of the bill he immediately started adding what he had consumed. I told him it was my treat and to ease any weirdness, that he could get the tip. I don’t mind picking up the tab. I could even have tried to get past the cringe. When I saw him placing a one pound coin tip on the table; I was out. That kind of cheapness is an absolute no.

Date 3 & 4

This one is a familiar story. I’m always very up front about my relationship wants. Marriage doesn’t feel like a thing I’m going to be a part of. I’m not even keen on the idea of living with someone. I enjoy my space, I like to make my own decisions. In short, I like my life. I’m in no rush to go turning it all upside down. I’m very much a ‘take it easy’ kind of girl. All of which was A OK with him. Until we hit that 2nd date. Say hello to Mr Fickle.

First date was cool. We went to a really nice tea place. The conversation flowed easily. He complimented more than my appearance. The man was interested and interesting. All good, I was down to see him again. The replay didn’t go so well. All of a sudden Mr Fickle wants to dig into how serious I am about not wanting to get married. He wants to assure me of what a great prospect he is. I keep diverting, but he brings us right back to topics that are not second date material. There wasn’t a third.

Date 5

This one was short and sweet. He’s a guy I briefly worked with a while ago. We’d stayed in touch via social media. He chatted me up a bit and I thought, why not? A query that was swiftly answered when he argued that those Jonah Hill texts were reasonable. I christened him Red Flag & made a sharp exit.

A row of red flags blowing in the wind.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Cut + Run…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

When one of the world’s most illusive artists decides to stage a retrospective in your city, you have to go. Banksy said they choose Glasgow because they were drawn to impromptu art often found in the city.

The Front of GoMA. Stone columns with triangular roof. With a Banksy banner hanging down one column.

A prime example being the cone permanently perched upon the Duke of Wellington right outside GoMA. For years Glasgow City Council tried to put a stop to the cone hat. In the end the removing & preventing was costing so much that they had to embrace the cone. The spirit of those folks who just kept climbing on up obviously appealed to Banksy as the cone appears in clever ways throughout the exhibit.

Duke of Wellington on a horse statue with a traffic cone on his head.

Background covered, let’s get down to the art. The show was even better than I hoped. Very clever staging and preventing the use of phones meant there were plenty of surprises. The art itself chimes with many of my takes on the world, so I obviously enjoyed the context. It was interesting to have look at the thoughts behind pieces I had seen before. Also very cool to see the evolution of the artist. As we all had to lock up our phones, the offer of free Polaroids was a nice touch. It’s a big tick from me.

Accessibility wise GoMA itself is good. The set up of the exhibition makes things a little trickier. The very beginning of the exhibit might feel a little tight for wheelchair users. There are also only two places you could sit throughout, which I found hard going. It’s worth calling in advance to ask for accommodations you need.

The graffiti wall as you leave the building is a fun thought. Very cool to let folk release their inner creativity.

Tickets & Info here.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Charity of the Month…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

This month’s donation was prompted by a piece in Private Eye about Rohingya refugees. To my shame I didn’t know the details of their current situation. The article explained the World Food Programme being forced to cut rationing at Rohingya refugee camps in Bangladesh.

Since fleeing violence in Myanmar the Rohingya refugees have been reliant on food aid. The rising cost of food has impacted limited how far WFP stretch. The current budget is $8 a month per person. This allows for about 450 calories a day; half of a toddlers daily requirements. This will inevitably result in malnutrition and even more suffering. The world doesn’t seem to be paying attention, as I said I wasn’t aware of this situation. If you can please donate to the UN’s WFP. They are active in over 120 countries helping people in most precarious situations.

Things I liked in June…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

Not So Gloomy

I stumbled upon this article about the discovery of octopus cities. The gloomy octopus was thought to be solitary until biologists discovered two octopus communities in Australian waters. I just love the description of their behaviour and the way they have built their homes. I especially love the names given to these underwater metropolises; Octopolis and Octantlis. Perfect!

Gloomy octopus on sea bed, with one arm curled up and the rest extended.

Prince of Thieves

During bad insomnia bouts I often seek middle of the night distraction. When exhausted & fed up I want very specific viewing, something that doesn’t require too much concentration & won’t give me bad feels. Last week Kevin Costner’s stint as Robin Hood fitted the criteria. I hadn’t seen it in decades & was pleasantly surprised by the happy memories it brought up. You see, I originally viewed this film at the cinema in 1991. I’m one of four kids and as such cinema trips were complicated. No one wanted to see this film. At 15 my oldest brother was mortified to be anywhere with the rest of us. My next brother was hyped for one of the naked gun sequels. I was absolutely desperate to see Don’t Tell Fred (still haven’t caught it), my wee sis craved a cartoon and I think my parents were sorry they brought us. Anyway, much bickering & ‘we’ll take you all home’ later we settled in for the Robin & gang. A miracle happened, we all loved it. As I watched I remembered how much fun we had that afternoon and felt all kinds of nostalgia.

Robin Hood Prince of Thieves movie poster. Kevin Costner holding bow and and aiming flaming arrow.

Bye Boris

Of course I would like more consequences for the over privileged fuckwit, but removal from parliament is a start. Resigning rather than face further scrutiny is cowardly, but at least he is removed from a position of power. I sincerely hope his political career is dead & buried.

Red glitter necklace that says Fuck Boris

Cooling Cola

It’s too damn hot! I know, I’m never happy. I can handle the cold and I can’t handle the sun either. Once the temp climbs over the early 20’s I am struggling. Thus I have been devouring ice lollies. It has made me very happy to find that calypo now have a cola lolly. My deepest love frozen. Yes please.

Close of ly eating an ice lolly. She is wearing blue cat eye glasses and a gold septum ring.

Good Day Sunshine

The sun has its hat on for a while now. If I think about it too much, I realise that is a terrifying sign of global warming. For the sake of not drifting into existential doom, I won’t. A bit of sunshine does feel nice. It makes everyone a little cheerier. I can pretend I’m on holiday. I can wear my sunnies all the time & fan myself dramatically. Mr Sun is beginning to push his luck; I don’t need 27°C daily. I do still enjoy seeing everyone else love it.

Towering Downfall

The indictments are piling up. Things are beginning look precarious for the ex president. I’m still scared he’ll somehow wriggle out of trouble. However, given he has repeatedly admitted, nah boasted that he has done everything he is accused of, it is difficult to see how he can escape punishment. I am desperately hoping one of these prosecutions at the very least puts a stop to him running for office.

Private Eye

The last few issues have been particularly good. It just brings a little joy to my life. Simple as that.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Care a little…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

About a week ago I had a telephone appointment with one of the Gps from my practice. I haven’t had much interaction with this Dr and it did not go well.

After a brief conversation about the symptoms concerning me, she suggested we start with some basic tests and swiftly moved on to checking my weight. I asked why she wanted my weight and explained if not medically necessary I did not want to be weighed. The Dr replied that she would like to calculate my BMI. I told the Dr that BMI wasn’t scientifically sound and I didn’t want to discuss it. I’m sure you can guess how the appointment went from there.

It was the usual gaslighting and time wasting. According to the GP she would be negligent if she did not assess my BMI. I reiterated my objections to her weight focused approach, all of which were dismissed. The appointment was taken up with this back & forth instead of actually discussing my actual problems. I have informed various practitioners at the surgery about my preferences with regards to being weighed, discussing weight loss etc. I have disclosed my history of disordered eating and how intentional weight loss is detrimental to my mental health. I’ve also discussed the harm caused to me by weight stigma, which includes near fatal misdiagnosis and long term health implications. All of these conversations should be recorded in my notes as per my request. Yet still, I find myself regularly having these interactions whilst trying to access medical care.

A blue bathroom scale that reads doesn’t matter

Given our in-depth conversation about why I wouldn’t be weighed without solid medical reason, I had hoped that might be the end of it. I was fairly surprised when I saw the nurse yesterday for bloods and she asked me to ‘hop on the scale’. I gave her my standard, I don’t do weighing unless medically necessary. The nurse then told me that the Dr had specifically noted that she must makes sure she weighs me. I was internally furious, but calmly explained to her that I had already told the Dr I wouldn’t be doing that. Luckily, she left at that.

I am chronically ill. I have lots of interactions with medical folk. I am flat out exhausted before we get to the fat phobia. I often don’t have the fight in me, but I’m forced into battle. There is no let up. If I don’t assert myself I will not get the care I need. I know from bitter experience just how dangerous that is. The problem remains that even when I do stand my ground, the medical profession is want to shove back. Either I am entirely ignored or I am labelled difficult. It’s endless and wearing.

The persistence of these attitudes feels like a war of attrition on the patient side. It’s draining. No matter how many times I make my wishes known, they are ignored. Coming to appointments armed with facts, evidence and clear description of how this weight stigma harms me, makes no difference. Today was a classic example of this. I wasted my time discussing very personal & traumatic experiences with a Dr in order to justify declining to be weighed. She simply set it all aside and took action that she knew would harm me. I shouldn’t have to justify not wanting to do things that are not necessary or helpful to my treatment in the first place. However, it is clear regardless of how much time & energy I invest in explaining why intentional weight loss talk is detrimental to me, medical professionals will not listen. The stress of always having to be prepared for a fight is immense.

I will of course take steps to address this latest event with my practice. I can only hope they take action to protect me. It won’t bring the discussion of my weight to a close. There will still be another specialist, nurse or hospital consultant who views me as first fat and second a person in need of medical care. Right now the knowledge of that is way too overwhelming.

If you enjoy what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

How I’m feeling now…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

I have been somewhat absent here. Anxiety has engulfed me. There is a very specific reason for the anxiety, unfortunately it is not a thing that I control or fix.

Theoretically being able to pinpoint the trigger means it I should have a definite end point. However, since resolution is not within power the uncertainty persists. I can’t even begin to address the issue until next week, which leaves me endlessly playing out scenarios in my head. It is sickeningly stressful. The fear that has been sitting on my chest for a week feels like it’s attempting to climb up & grab for my throat.

I’ve tried every calming weapon in my arsenal to little effect. When I managed to leave the house every sensation was painfully amplified. I was both submerged in sound & every noise was taking place inside my body. Likewise, every living being in my approximate vicinity seemed claustrophobically close. I felt dangerously on display & incapable of making a quick retreat. Sitting still was impossible, but moving left me gasping for breath. I couldn’t decipher if it was Pots or anxiety related. The more I worried about it, the less able I was to catch my breath.

Outside was brutal. Inside is merely a more measured torment. The slow drip of water torture rather than the ripping out of finger nails. I remain on high alert. For what I don’t know; there is no physical threat. My mind stubbornly refuses to divert course. If I pull it astray thoughts quickly revert to dissecting worse case situations. This is very much a wait and see kind of issue. Strategising & replaying every possible outcome cannot help me.

Still, I lie awake at night with my heart pounding. When I finally dip into sleep my subconscious conjures catastrophes that aren’t even feasible. I awake in a panic that fades to dread. An awful gnawing fear the dark summons in the certain absence of slumber. I never feel more inclined to screaming than when imprisoned in insomnia. 3am worries are no one’s friend.

Of course I reassure myself that I can survive subpar outcomes. I do know that this extreme horror level of anxiety will not last forever. I’ve coped with worse & there will be much better days. My mind simply doesn’t care. We’re hyped up to life or death threat defence and it has no intention backing down. If I had a bunker, I would be in it.

If you like what a do you can support me here or on Patreon.

This week I was mostly…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

Taking it easy. I’ve been trying to write, trying to sleep and listening to these tunes.

Open up Your Door by Richard Hawley was playing in a waiting room. It’s pretty good waiting room music. The gentle jingly instruments swelling into smooth waves has a soothing effect. Hawley’s smooth easy listening, but cooler voice pleasantly washes over you. The lyrics are almost unimportant, the overall sound is the appeal.

I can’t work out where I first heard I Think I Like it When it Rains, but it immediately stuck in my brain. A little Googling later I discovered it was by Willis and promptly added it to a playlist. It gives me a Lennon, Don’t Let Down vibes. I love the hopeful melancholy. It encapsulates the feeling of one of those thinky rainy days.

If I were a fish corook (feat Olivia Barton) is the catchiest, feel good Tik Tok hit. I can’t resist the cheery message and choiry chorus. If you need a little sing a long pick me up this is the one.

I am of course loving all of Lewis Capaldi’s new releases. I am dying for the new album, How I’m Feeling Now in particular struck a chord. I respect his openness with regards to mental health and his ability to capture the experience in his music. The desperate frustration of battling yourself comes through. Anyone who has dealt with depression or anxiety will feel it when he sings,

‘I’m always stuck inside my fucking head’

I hadn’t heard of Eloise until three days ago and now Friends Who Kiss is on my repeats. I like her gentle take on the break up genre. Stripped back and bitter sweet; ‘love is not in love’.

Bronan has been helping with the resting.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Pure Shores…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

As promised I have returned to share my holiday adventures. In a slightly topsy turvy arrangement I’m going to start with our last day.

We spent our final day cruising around the northern coast of Majorca. It was bliss. First stop was Platja del Coll Baix; a beautiful beach hidden in secluded cove. Crystal clear waters, sun on my skin and glass of rosé in hand, just perfect.

ly is wearing a blue dress and sunglasses. She is sat in boat with cliffs and ocean behind her. Her hair is blowing in the wind and she is holding a glass of rose.

Much to the delight of her boy, my Sister was extra adventurous and leaped into the sea from a height. I really wanted to get into that beautiful water, but unfortunately I didn’t think I would be able to climb back onto the boat. Luckily, watching from the top deck was pretty magical.

Snorkelling and leaping complete we lifted anchor and sailed off to investigate some caves. My pirate obsessed nephew was convinced there was pirate treasure hidden within. He was beside himself with excitement when our boat crept inside for a nosey.

We rounded the cliffs and sailed into nothing, but deep blue sea and a distant horizon. We had a little boat party followed by a snuggle as we coasted through the Med. We dropped anchor again to enjoy some lunch. With the cutest lighthouse in the foreground and waves lapping at the hull, I was in heaven.

Once back on dry land we had a delicious meal on the docks and finished the day watching the sun go down on the beach. It was the dreamiest day and I loved every second.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Sun & laughter for a week or two…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

I am going on holiday on Sunday and I am very excited. I’m off to a nice spa hotel in Alcudia with the intention of spending most of the week at the pool. I haven’t done a holiday like this in over a decade. I usually go for more of city break type trips, but I feel the need to chiiiiiillllll.

I’m currently in the process of packing, which I hate. I don’t know why it stresses me out so much. I know as long as I have passport, meds and my purse that anything else I forget is fixable. I still turn myself inside out with lists and double checking. It always feels like omitting or putting one wrong thing in the case will be a disaster. Hence why I start a week before departure.

All that said, this time there has been some positives too. I am finding so many cute summery items that I have neglected for too long. The down side is of course I cannot decide which cuties should come with.

So, I’m going to try a little insta/blog crossover and you can help me choose. You can find me here on Instagram. Pop over if you would like to help me decide which looks get case space.

Let’s start with maxi skirts. I have this gorgeous cotton striped skirt. Ruffles are really not my bag, but I could not resist this skirt. Unfortunately it hasn’t gotten as much wear as it deserves, perhaps it is owed a little Majorca time. Alternatively there is this super hippie dippie, swishy number. I love paisley print and I think this one would be great for the beach. Thoughts?

Striped Skirt – ASOS Paisley Print – Boohoo

Next category is strapless dresses. I like that these can go day or night, but are still very comfy. The leopard print is so old. I got it in forever 21 many years ago and it hasn’t been out the wardrobe in an age. It’s in competition with a simple blue hankie hem. I really like the way the blue fits, but leopard print is just more fun. Fit or Fun?

Leopard Print – Forever 21 Navy – ASOS

Last, but not least we have the sundresses. Obviously a holiday essential; I’ve already packed a few. These two are left vying for space. First up is another cotton stripey. I love the button detail and it has pockets! On the other hand my little ballerina esque dress is entirely lovely. Pockets or Twirls?

Ballet Skirt – Forever 21 Blue & White – Primark

I thank you for your input and I will be sure to share my adventures in Majorca.

If you enjoy my content you can support me here or on Patreon.

Reading, listening, watching…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

After a hopeful beginning we have been plunged back into bitter winter. I for one am not enjoying the snow. It is freezing and has made quite the dent in my galavanting plans. In the absence of exciting carry on I thought I would share what has been entertaining me through the cold dark nights.

I just finished The Keeper by Graham Norton, which was surprising. I actually bought it and read the first chapter on a bus years ago. I then put it in my handbag, put the handbag in one of my wardrobes and promptly forgot where the book was residing. Last week I stumbled across it whilst looking for something else and dived in. It’s an intriguing tale that kept me gripped. Norton has deft style that is very engaging. The perfect bus/bath read.

In my typically late to the party fashion I have only this month watched Misommer. It’s the kind of film that freaks me out, hence the delay. In the end it was nowhere near as horrifying as I feared. It is bizarre and disturbing, but overall I could handle it. That last scene nearly had me, though.

More amusing, but still disturbing was Ian Hislop & Jon Stewart’s conversation on the latter’s podcast. If you know me at all you are aware that I adore Hislop. As much as enjoy the sparkling wit and insight. It is always unnerving to examine the state of our world through such an expert lens.

I also found a very cool taping of Bernie Sanders and Frankie Boyle discussing the essentials of the moment. It‘s refreshing to hear an American politician talking in leftist terms. It’s available on YouTube(How to Academ) and I think you would enjoy it.

I was on a horror kick this month when I came across Bodies, Bodies, Bodies. Nothing groundbreaking, but a thoroughly enjoyable way to spend 90 minutes. With a hurricane, a bunch of attractive young folk and a big pinch of toxic suspicion you’ve got yourself a movie.

Finally, I have this very morning started on Alan Bennet’s Pandemic Diaries. Alan Bennett is my literary comfort. His words soothe me no matter the topic. He has this incredible talent of tackling any topic with heart without blurring what’s real. This one will be read way more than once.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.