body positive

Fuck you, Fuck you very, very much…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 6 Comments

New year, New You. Are you sick of this bullshit yet? I’ve been done with it for eons. Every bloody January the diet talk ramps up & the weight loss industry tries to convince us that thin is a magic elixir. Just when I thought I had seen it all Khloe Kardashian steps up with Revenge Body. Rage ensues. 


So, as far as I can tell the format of the show is as follows:

Person is overweight.

Said person has been bullied, cheated on, in some way hurt. 

This hurt was either attributed to and/or impacted on their self image & confidence. 

KK’s solution is lose weight & therefore get revenge on those who caused the hurt. 

Where do I even start with how fucked up this is? probably by applying the old maxim that the best revenge is living well. You do not gain power over an abuser by complying with their demands. True power comes from setting your own agenda. Self esteem is routed in liking who you are. Wether that be your physical appearance, personality, chosen work or lifestyle. Strengthing the belief that people must conform to specific beauty standards in order to be loved & respected is the furthest thing from empowerment. 


That’s before I even get to how toxic the notion of revenge is. If someone cannot treat you with the care that you deserve you should absolutely disengage. You don’t need to put up with any fuckwittage be it from a romantic partner, family member or friend. Ditch them & do you. Live your life exactly as you please. Spending time with people who appreciate you is healthy. Changing yourself to fit someone else’s ideal is not. Nor does it in anyway shift the power balance. Seeking revenge keeps noxious people in your head.  Fuck that. 

Which leads me to the most obvious problem with this concept. Body positivity is not about altering your body, it’s about changing accepted terms of what a ‘good body’ is. You do not need to lose weight to love yourself. You do not need to submit to diets & work outs to be a healthy, happy & productive person. The real revolution is in learning to enjoy the marvellous body you have. We must reject the assumption that fat equals undeserving. We must also exstinguish the view that our problems can all attributed to our weight. Life is complicated, wearing a size 8 will not conquer all your demons. However, tackling the ingrained fatphobia may just lead to a happier you. Trust me, you’re magnificent & there is a growing BoPo movement to help you believe it. 

About a boy…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 2 Comments

I’ve always been partial to a silver fox. It started  with a mega crush on my history teacher & never stopped. I have almost always dated older men. I almost always fancy older men. It comes as a great surprise to me discover that actually, I’m not entirely against a tryst with a younger men either. Which brings me to the advent of the toy boy & surprises therein. 

The first shock was testicles. Let me tell you that the balls of a 30yr old are very different to those of a 50yr old. Perhaps this is common knowledge. I was not aware. My eyes are now open. 

Sometimes a younger guy doesn’t get your cultural references at all. This makes you feel 90 years old. 

But on the flip slide you sometimes get a tiny bit smug & superior when they don’t know who Charles Manson is. 

Takes direction. Very well. 

A toy boy is slightly more willing to accept that I am always right. I like this. 

Peachy peachy bum. 

The youngster makes it past 11pm without becoming unconscious.

Takes charge equally well. Ego is comfortable with both. 

Silliness. There is a pleasing amount of nonsense. 

Oh, did I mention the arse?


Maybe you can teach an old dog new tricks. Who knew?

I should be so lucky…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 4 Comments

My annual Xmas illness  has reared it’s head. This time it’s a chest infection, but I caught it early & am hoping to get off lightly.  In my search for a silver lining I have come up with the fact that my affliction allows me to stay home & enjoy the festive no man’s land. 

Cosy jammies, Christmas specials on the tv & non stop snacking instead of real meals works for me. Add to that being able to admire all my lovely presents & you have a happy (if coughy) ly. As is my blogger duty, I will now share these delights with all of you. 

My sister gives good gift. She never fails to charm me on Christmas Day. This year was no different. This handmade necklace & earring set is exactly the kind of thing I love; quirky & cool. She also found these amazing pins that I have been coveting for months. They pretty much sum up my current philosophy. She clever sis knows me so well. 


Jennifer Lemon Designs 


Hand over your fairy cakes. 

Next to hit the Xmas home run is my dear old mum. This year she almost single handedly restocked my winter wardrobe. Displaying her flawless style with these picks. 

I can’t get enough velvet. I am buying up as much as possible whilst it’s on trend, so that I can wear it for evermore. This crushed velvet skater was the perfect Xmas day dress. All it needed was a little sparkle provided by my gold high tops (a gift from the mother last winter). She also came up trumps with a 90’s inspired slip, faux fur cardi coat & floral blazer. 


Pink Clove, Marks & Pencers, Joanna Hope. 

She also utilised her crafty skills to make me these adorable cushions.

My favourite,(ok, only) brother in law came up trumps again this year with this shiniest of shiny Kiko lipgloss & cheery notebook with thick, crisp paper. The toy boy rather originally opted for creepy death chocolate plus a rainbow array of incense. Both of which are entirely vegan & fetching. The lovely Lisa surprised me a goddamned perfect mirror for my handbag & books aplenty found their way to me. 

I have also been lucky enough to have received an obligibly fat envelope, delicious meals, fizzy cocktails, amazing company & a number of other things not easily photographed. I am, as my niece would put it, a lucky duck. 


And, so, I am thankful & hope that you are similarly blessed. QUACK. 

I see your true colours….

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 10 Comments

I am one tired, but very happy bunny. oPeration BoPo went off with a bang last week. Our event at Glad Rags was a big success. I am so thrilled with how fantastic the photographs turned out and how many came along to the event. I am even more excited about how positive the feedback was from those involved & those seeing the project for the first time. I really feel that I am succeeding in spreading the self love revolution.

So, without I further ado I present to you my modelling debut.

All of our models looked stunning in the final images. It gives me great pleasure that the project has helped its participants on their body positive journey by increasing both their confidence & belief that they are magnificent. It was wonderful to discuss the project with people who came to view the show. Their thoughts confirmed my theory that accessible events of this nature are wanted & needed.



Since I was stripped bare in my photograph I thought I would go glam for the event. This is only the second time I’ve worn this dress & I can’t think why; it’s beautiful.

Dress – ASOS Curve.

Cardi – Glad Rags.

Brogues – Primark.

Belt – ASOS Curve.
From Lush massages to rum punch, goodie bags to thrifty finds a good time was had by all. Stay tuned for more.

If you would like more information you can find all the details here.

 

 

 

My month in pictures…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 2 Comments

September turned out to be a busy month. Between birthdays, photo shoots & kidney infections I have been kept on my toes. So, rather than bore you with all the millions of details I present a month in pictures. 

First up, let’s do the birthdays. Young & old it’s all going off in sept. My midwife bff assures me September is always the busiest month birth wise; must be down to all that seasonal goodwill. 


There were bath bombs & vegan chocolate cake. Dinners with friends & face paints with little friends. I’m doing something big for my birthday next month, so the actual day was low key, but lovely. Not featured is the birthday of my darling big bro, mostly because him & his family popped off on holiday. Not that I’m jealous. 

Now, I bet you’re all wondering what I’ve been munching this past month, well I’ll tell you. A lot of sushi, mint tea, avocados & vegan treats. There might have been few tipples in there too. Well, it was my birthday.


I’ll pause now for some lovely/amusing things I’ve snapped. 


Ok, back to definable categories. September saw my involvement in my first ever photo shoots. I was a jack of all trades whilst overseeing the shoots for my body positive project. I got through it with the help of many talented people & topped it off by posing in my pants. Who knew, right?


Style wise my nails & I were making the transition to A/W. Autumn is my favourite season, so I’m tickled to be breaking out boots & scarfs. The weather is as unpredictable as ever, so it’s impossible to determine when these cosier items may actually be needed.


One of my new weekend activities is wedding shopping with a certain someone. The pursuit of the prettiest things has had me trekking all over, but it’s all quite peachy.


Time for a selfie break.

& some random bits & pieces to finish on. 


I hope you all had a dreamy 9th month & fingers crossed you can rock October.

This week I have been mostly..

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 1 Comment

Catching up with things including my fav Friday night shows. I was delighted to see Robbie Williams on Graham Norton. As I laughed along to his stories & did some sofa dancing to his new I song I realised how much I love Robbie. Queue a day of Robbie tunes old and new (thanks Apple Music) & I have decided he is seriously underrated. Don’t believe me? Read on. 

Let’s start with his latest offering, Party like a Russian. This is prime Robbie; a little social commentary, a little humour & lot of William’s cheeky charm. The lyrics are cleverly simple, but effectively taking a pop whilst not going overboard. The music has an incorrigible beat & some sinister Russian sounding strings (it’s actually from Sergei Prokofiev’s Romeo & Juliet) going on. All in all it’s a winner. 

And now, I want to take you way back. All the way to ’97 when I was 17 & the Robster was on his 1st album. Old before I die fitted my life at the time. I was heading into my last year at school & I already had an unconditional uni place. The pressure was off & the party was on. The care free, let’s get wasted attitude of the song was my exact mood. Throw in a wee go at the Pope & this teenage ex catholic’s heart was content. 

A few years down the line & we were still in tune when Strong hit the radio waves. I was dealing with what i’ll call a turbulent relationship & trying very hard to pretend all was well. Thus, the lyrics ‘you think that I’m strong, you’re wrong’ were poignant. With this song Robbie had captured the essence of being close to the edge with his signature humour. Images of him dancing like his dad & jokes about Oprah, take the barb from the topic. Robbie always knows how to take a fairly depressing premise & make an anthem you can’t stop singing.

Now a leap to a happier place. Go gentle was written for his daughter. It’s loaded with familiar protective father material, but with some truly lovely insights thrown in. When I listen to this song I understand what he’s feeling. Go gentle through your life is good advice for any little one. It’s simple, but at the heart of what we want for our kids. Namely, to be happy & take as few bumps as possible. The lyrics are sweet & loving, but also articulate something that I have been feeling. My niece is 6yrs old, she is confident in her abilities & appearance. I never want her to lose that assurance. For me the words,

‘Baby, be a giant,

Let the world be small’.

sum up what I want to say to her. When the time is write I definitely will & then I can share some ‘old’ music with her too.

Sexed up is a song I have quite possibly misinterpreted. When I originally heard it it brought to mind the feeling of knowing your relationship is over, but not being able to fully detach. In particular, when you’re pretty much sick of the sight of each other, but keep fucking anyway. I am assured by friend that it doesn’t mean anything like that, but there you go. The point is I love this song. It’s one of the tunes I sing in a loud voice when I need to vent my frustrations. I think he has perfectly captured that feeling of needing a break up intervention. The soaring melody combined with the caustic lyrics make it a perfect turn it up & pour the wine song.

I can’t talk about Robbie without declaring my love for Rock DJ. This song does to me what he is singing about. The minute I hear the intro I want to dance. This is ultimate cocky Robbie & that’s I like him best. Never before or since I have been attracted to a skinless man ripping his flesh off. I think that says it all. 

Operation BoPo is Go…..

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 7 Comments

I have been distracted lately. I have my taken my attention off the blogging ball, but for good reason. Much of my time has been devoted to launching what I hope will be an amazing organisation. oPeration BoPo is a body positive project designed to empower people to love the skin they’re in. 

The body positive community has changed my life. Discovering plus size bloggers & proponents of self love has allowed to enjoy my body instead of hating it. I really wanted to share that with other people. I looked for a body positive group/project locally and couldn’t found anything that fitted. So, I took a leap of faith and set up my own. oPeration BoPo’s first outing is an art event. The aim is to photograph bodies of all types & use the images for an art exhibit. The hope being that both participants & viewers will find beauty in all the photographs. 

I am a complete novice at all of this, but I have been surprised by own skills & the generosity of so many people. Our photo shoots took place last week with the help of amazing hair, make up & photographers. I have also been stunned & inspired by the models who have volunteered to take part in the project. 



It was incredible to see our models step in front of the camera & really feel themselves. You could actually see how powerful the experience was for some; confidence pouring into their stance. I have had amazing feedback from participants. It is truly beautiful to see my dream of spreading body positivity actually happening. 


Our first exhibit will be at Glad Rags, an amazing non profit thrift store. Our ethos happily met. The lovely managers, Bee & Ashley have not only styled some models with their fabulous stock, but have also modelled. The body positive art event opens on Oct 20th at 7.30pm. There will be gift bags, cakes & even some punch. All are welcome. 


My hope is to continue with oPeration BoPo. I want to create more projects that allow people to see their bodies in a positive light. I’d also really like to reach diverse groups especially those who would particularly benefit from the self love message. If you are local (I’m based in Glasgow) and would like to get involved please get in touch! 

Now for the money bit. Although professionals have very kindly donated their time there are still many costs. oPeration BoPo is not for profit and there is no cost to anyone who participates. If you would like to help me grow the body positive revolution, you can donate here:

GoFundMe – oPeration BoPo
Stay tuned because oPeration BoPo is go!

Sweet like chocolate…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 2 Comments

Hello, I know I’ve been bad. Not a single post in over a week. In my defence I am working on something incredibly exciting, which will be revealed very soon. For now, I have some tasty treats for you. 

Since biting the bullet & going full vegan I have obviously had to forego chocolate. I am happy to do that to avoid the abuse of dairy farming, but let’s face it, we all need a bit of chocolate from time to time. So, I have been buying up all the vegan chocolate I can find & testing them all. It’s been a tough job, but sometimes a blogger has get her hands dirty. 

First up is Cleo’s peanut butter cups. These are delicious. They taste exactly like Reece’s, but you can enjoy them with a clear conscious. Just don’t buy too many because they’re seriously moreish. 


Vegan Town £2.o5
If you’re looking for more of a classic then dairy free buttons are perfect. They take a little longer to melt in the mouth, but are otherwise rather nice. These are just the right size for a wee sneaky chocolate fix. 


Tesco 60p

Plamil’s Dairy Free is not the best vegan choc. It’s a little chalky & quite bitter. The mint choc bar (not pictured) is definitely the tastiest of the bunch. Not awful, but not yummy either. 


Holland & Barrett £1.19

Vivani White Nougat Crisp is a big yes. It’s smooth & rich & has just the right amount of crisp. Comparison wise, it’s a lot like a Bueno. Honestly, buy this, you’ll thank me next time your sweet tooth kicks in. 


Vegan Town 99p
I love some bite in my chocolate & the best bite is nice whole hazelnut. i choc Super Nut is a bigger bar & perfect for cosy night in. The chocolate is smooth & the nuts are delicious. Worth 2 quid of any vegans money. 


Vegan Store £1.99

Penis Envy…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 4 Comments
Continuing with my plan to share some writing from archives I give you this. Something tongue in cheek & a little bit dirty that I wrote many years ago. Have a happy weekend. 
This is perhaps a little crude, but I refuse to believe I am the only person to ever feel this way. Others must have the same longing.

There comes a point in a break up when you know you are going to be ok. You suddenly realise, I can get over this amazing man. It will take time, but I know I’ll get there.
I’m just not sure that I can get over his dick. It’s wonderful; really, truly gorgeous. It is everything I want from a dick.
Big.
Oh, I know, size isn’t supposed to be important, but I like a big dick. Not insanely big, just big enough to cause a little gasp when you first see it.
Perfectly proportioned.
Smooth.
Inviting.
Fuck it, just nice. You get the picture.
I miss it. Of course I miss him, the man attached is more important, but I believe I can move on.
He might not have been the right man, but he certainly has the right penis. I may never meet another one like it. It did all the right things. We’re always being advised to invest in quality. Be it materials, ingredients or equipment. Surely this advice stands for cock. Let’s face it, sex was unlikely to go wrong with that in his pants.
I am sad that I probably won’t ever see it’s full glory again. I feel I should be allowed one last goodbye. Or perhaps, visitation.
Can you get penis access?
Dick alimony?
I realise this may seem shallow, but it brought joy to my life. That cock made me feel great. It hardly seems fair that I should be heart broken and deprived of my favourite pleasure source. I’m really quite upset about this. Some other woman might end up with my dick.
I wonder if I should raise my concerns with him (the man, I don’t talk to the penis) or just hire a lawyer? I could set a precedent.

‘Cos every inch of you is perfect….

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 6 Comments

On my way to Dublin last week something happened that not so long ago would have been a massive issue for me. The fact that it didn’t really phase me proved to me how far I’ve come. 

The incident was an airplane seat belt that didn’t fit. This is something that I actually used to fear. A while back every time I boarded a plane I braced myself for the humiliation of being too fat to fit. It turned out to be no big deal. I had a brief moment of panic, my thoughts raced through all the seat belts that had fitted & how big I was then. Then it dawned on me that I didn’t care. It didn’t matter if I was bigger or this particular seat belt was smaller. It just didn’t fit & there was an easy rememdy for that. I asked for an extender & stopped thinking about. 

Until yesterday when it dawned on me what that meant. I wasn’t embarassed to ask for the extender meaning I wasn’t ashamed to acknowledge my fat body. That is incredible. Being a part of the body positivity community has led me to a place where I can genuinely appreciate my body. Once I realised that I started thinking about all the little things that marked real progress. 

It recently occurred to me that I had gained some weight on my bum. The marvellous part was I liked it. I’ve found myself dressing to show off my bigger arse &  I am so chuffed about that. 


Then on Saturday as I was dressing I automatically tucked my top into my skirt. Not a very momentous act except that I spent years of my life ensuring that my top always covered my stomach. I was that person tugging at my clothes to ensure I was hiding flabby bits. Now I just wear what I feel nice in & here’s the kicker, I look better tucked in or in clingy vests. 


Along the same lines whilst out with my sister I asked her to take blog photos. I am usually a pain the arse about pictures. Never happy with who I look, probably because I wasn’t happy with my body. In the past I have ducked out of pictures at big events & special moments, which  I’ve come to regret. So, in recent times I have made a conscious effort to push through my discomfort & mark significant times. I was however still dissatisfied with my appearance in the photographs. This weekend was different. My sister snapped pics of me in various poses & I loved them all. Break through!

The last and probably most obvious symbol of acceptance of myself is how comfortable I am naked. I run about my house in the buff all the time. I look at myself in a full length mirror whilst I dry my hair and I do not feel critical. I have no desire to hide. I notice the parts of my body that look amazing rather than hating my stomach or chubby arms. This carries through to being naked with others. I no longer feel worried about comparisons when changing with female friends. In the same vein I confidently show my body to anyone I get jiggy with. 

This may strike a lot of people as unremarkable, but it’s a life changing shift. Immersing myself in the body positive has helped me alter how I think & feel about my body. I’ve gone from yo yo dieting, disordered eating & choosing clothes to specfically hide ‘problem’ areas to being a woman who no longer believes there are any bad body parts. I like me. I like my curves, my wobbly bits & everything else. Body positivity works. Women supporting & encouraging each other moves mountains. So, I owe a big thank you to all of you who read, comment & create fat friendly content. High five, ladies, we’re changing the world.