Give the day a chance to start…

It’s been a fairly standard day. I got some writing finished, sorted a little admin & did a food shop. No exciting hijinks. Nothing horrible either. Why then do I find myself feeling so overwhelmingly sad?

An hour ago I was just getting on with the daily grind. I wasn’t jumping for joy, but I was fine. From one moment to the next my equilibrium vanished. For no discernible reason I am flooded with melancholy. It is one of most baffling aspects of my mental illness. It extends beyond feeling miserable. My inability to comprehend what is happening leaves me powerless to combat it.

Control is a big thing for me. I think, because there have been major parts of my life in which I lacked significant sway. That leaves me uneasy with the uncertain components of my mental health. It is very frightening to know that my mood may descend at any moment. It’s even more alarming when I don’t know why. I can’t tackle a problem when I cannot identify the cause.

Moon in cloudy sky

All that’s left is trying to ride out the low. With no clue as how long the trip may last, it is hard not to lose hope. It’s hard to compute how much of a hold these periods take on me. This isn’t deepest, darkest despair. It’s what I think of as everyday depression. More grey than black. A persistent ache rather than unbearable pain. Yet its unpredictability looms large.

So, how do I combat the urge to believe there isn’t any point fighting a battle when I know I’ll lose the war? This is good a starting point. I write about my crazy head in an effort to exert dominion over it. I try to talk about it or at least just label it out loud. Not having to pretend that everything is a ok can help. I remind myself that I can and have exited these dips. There is colour in my life waiting to reappear. Of course I take my meds and then I just hold tight.

Long term mental illness is a slog. It leaves you no option other than to dig in & get dirty. My heart goes out to anyone else who is stuck in the trenches.

Autumn leaves in street lamp

Summer lovin…

It’s wedding season again & this year scotland even has the weather for it. Summer weddings are so much more fun when you can have some fizz in the sun. The rising temperatures also make cute floaty dresses an option. I have a couple of weddings to attend in upcoming months, so I’ve put together a wee collection of wedding guest attire.

Obviously, me being me, I don’t want any boring formal wear. Thus I’ve been scouring the summer lines for wedding suitable dresses that I can still feel myself in. I don’t have a specific look, I tend to dip into lots of different styles because I’m too random to commit to just one. The common thread is often being a little on the weird side & never blending into background. Luckily, the high street has plenty to offer that fits the bill.

Lindy Bop are always a good first stop on the search for a fancy dress. I love their retro styles & funky prints. I’ve yet to wear one of their creations that didn’t garner a million compliments. My top pick is this amazing jungle print 50’s piece. You couldn’t fail to feel like a starlet in it.

Keeping with the 50’s theme, but giving a slightly more sedate impression is this beauty. It’s basically an LBD with a little extra magic.

How wouldn’t want to be adorned in starlit woodland love?

Coast is one of those shops that always has a few gems hidden amongst the predictable. This dress is one of those sparkling finds. I love the light, flouncy layers, I bet it looks amazing on the dance floor.

Florals are standard affair for June weddings, but turn up the colour volume & they really come to life.

This wrap number from Lovedrobe would be perfect for drinks & canapés in the grounds of any luxe wedding venue. If you’re looking something more unique Elvi have you covered. This is is the prettiest jumpsuit I’ve ever seen. Flirty, floaty & graced with a cape. It’s the superhero of nuptial fashion.

I couldn’t do a dress guide without including my current colour fad. I am digging everything orange this summer & this tea dress is not the exception. It’s so fresh & vivid. The cut outs add a little sex appeal whilst remaining subtle enough to be worn in a church. Asos have knocked it out of the park again.

If I can’t exclude my flavour of the month it would certainly be remiss not to my mention true colour love; red. You can never have too many red dresses. I can see absolutely no cons to this particular example. The lace is so delicate, the fluted sleeves are divine & that v neck is just deep enough. Asos are on a roll.