If I can do better then I’ll be better…

I did the wrong thing today. Not a malicious thing, but significant none the less. I saw something that made me feel uncomfortable & my knee jerk reaction was to block it.

A person I’ve know for a long time posted some gross pro police content. This is someone I had previously respected & felt politically aligned with. In the context of current events & in light of the abundance of material being shared about police abuses it felt wilfully ignorant. Proclamations of how good & innocent Police Scotland are were particularly objectionable.

I foresaw exactly how the conversation would go if I replied. The same old ignorant assertions & refusal to accept reality. I was tired & angry, so took the easy option; I hit the unfollow with no comment. I immediately knew I’d done a shitty thing. I prioritised my comfort over taking the opportunity to talk to other white people about why the post was wrong.

Words how to be a better ally in red in grey background

BIPOC face & are impacted by this kind of racism everyday. They are permanently exhausted by it. To say I feel yuck so I’ll pass on this one is not using my privilege to benefit others. Having uncomfortable conversations about race is one of the easiest things that Black people have asked of us. Taking responsibility for questioning & educating other white people is essential.

I wanted to talk about this because I think everyone gives themselves a pass too often. We all think we’re mostly good people. Left leaning folk especially believe we’re fighting the good fight. Obviously this is just one small example of subpar allyship. We can let things slide because just existing doesn’t put us in danger. I know I fail in bigger ways than this. I also know I let myself off the hook too easily. Recent events have made me examine my commitment to bring an effective ally. I want to do better.

My first step in achieving that is purchasing White Supremacy and Me by Layla F. Saad. This book aims to help the reader clearly see their privilege, how we contribute to upholding the racist system & what we should be doing to dismantle it. I highly recommend investing in a copy & the work entailed.

Picture of book  me & 2hite supremacy by Layla f. Saad

Things that make me go…eeewww

Sometimes the world is bustling with things you love. Other, it keeps thrusting annoyance in one’s path. My current sphere is veering towards the latter.

The hype around the new Ivy Park x Adidas was as big any Beyoncé project gathers. The sizing was more than a little disappointing. It’s frustrating to see someone who gains much aplomb for her nods to body diversity fall down when it comes to her own product lines. Fat folk were, yet again, an afterthought. With small fats squeezing into a later release & everyone else ignored; only girls of a certain size run Bey’s world.

Khloe Kardashian tweet promoting flat tommy shakes

Sticking with the celebrity field (if slightly less A list) is the continued promotion of weight loss crap. Khloe Kardashian springs to mind as a repeat offender. Despite having more money than anyone could ever need, she’s still punting flat tummy shakes to her fans. A huge portion of which are young women & girls. Shame also spreads to homegrown reality celebs. With Lauren Goodger & others agreeing to promote a product containing the fatal ingredient, cyanide. She was caught on camera saying you didn’t have to actually use the products to promote them. None of the influencers involved in the BBC reportage recognised or checked how dangerous the ingredient was. Again, much of base they ‘influence’ are young people. It’s gross that people with a platform are happy to push products that are damaging to mind & body. The greed really does make me go eeeww.

In a less contentious space is the return of some fashion horrors from my youth. Foremost of my objections are hairbands. I really cannot stand those big, thick padded head bands. They conjour two unpleasant 80’s associations; sloanes & teacher’s pet. Both of whom proudly wore those clunky accessories. I’m sorry, they are just not cool.

Black diamanté hair band & red pearl hair band

It will come as no surprise to you that I’m not enjoying current wave of internalised misogyny. Almost nothing is more stomach churning that women shitting on other women. I am aware this is far from a new phenomena, but the relish with which its whipping around it vile. As my more progressive sisters advance an intersectional agenda the less enlightened are pushing back. They’re fighting with mean attacks on real issues like period poverty and trans rights. When I see a privileged woman deploying an I had to suffer once so you can too argument, it makes me nauseous. Turn it up to the full on bigotry of transphobia & I’m boaking. Rich white women need to do better. Much, much better.

Next on the fashion nope radar is another relic from my past. The return of chunky 90’s footwear is not pleasing. I hated spice girl trainers & rubber block heels when I was 15. My opinion has not changed. I loved so much of the 90’s, but these heavy hunks are not amongst them.