I haven’t had a pointless rant in a while, but it’s a whole new year & there are things to bitch about! Sit back, relax & let’s see if we agree.
I know fashion is circular; wait long enough and it all comes around again. Surely there can be exceptions? Maybe we could black ball a few key pieces. For instances these illfitting, pocket laden mistakes. The only people who ever looked marginally good in them were All Saints & even they would say ‘never ever’ to their return.
I believe it originated from an alcohol awareness charity. I totally get the rationale. If you want reduce your intake or assess your relationship with alchol, great. Something about the way it’s become a joke about how much one drinks makes me uncomfortable. The memes, posts about not being able to get through a day or being shocked about how it feels not to wake up hungover give me a horrible ick. Oh & of course there’s the added diet culture bullshit. I don’t think it’s good for anyone to normalise that kind of reliance on alcohol. If a few days without a drink is actually a significant struggle you need help. I’m not sure that half the internet joking about it will give someone the impetus to move towards that.
I’ve never understood the hold these had in the noughties. I don’t need to explain my objection. It’s a no. Don’t let me catch you encouraging this nonsense.
Fat Phobic Thrifting
If you are a straight sized person, please stop buying up plus sizes & altering them to fit. There are already precious few larger items available in thrift/charity shops and a shortage of affordable, size inclusive sustainable fashion. Watching slim folk who can literally buy things everywhere grabbing them all up is infuriating. You already have a feast, why must you have our crumbs too?
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Every now & again I realise that I kind of hate all the latest ‘must haves’. Summer 21 is definitely one of those moments. Thus, I invite you to join me as I trash all the things I really don’t want.
Everywhere I look folk are adding massive collars to everything they own. I can’t stand it. It’s twee in the worst possible way. They’re the ugly offspring of 80’s maternity & flower girl fashion. I feel especially nauseous when I see someone sporting a large doily style collar on a pastel knit. It has to stop. Please.
Is that even the correct name? It’s that awful fluffy stuff that keeps turning up in floral arrangements. Usually accompanied by weird dusky pink dried flowers. It’s another 80’s revival that we should have left to rot. The fluff gets everywhere, they always flop & there’s that urban legend about swinging. I’ll stick to fresh blooms, thanks.
I’m usually all for a 90’s throwback. It was a bloody good decade with some excellent fashion. Hankie tops, however, were awful then & even worse now. I still have nightmares about the lemon yellow gingham hankie top I struggled to keep my boobs in on a second date in 1998. I can’t forgive the pitiable piece of fabric masquerading as a garment.
In theory, I actually love this idea. The first candlelit concert I saw advertised was Vivaldi’s Four Seasons in a beautiful theatre. I could see the appeal. It must have been a success because now there is a candle lit EVERYTHING. Abba, Disney, Daft Punk, ballet (is that safe?), songs of Barry Manilo! I’m out.
Bare Midriff Belt
I couldn’t tolerate Carrie Bradshaw belting her belly button. So, I’m definitely not going to find it charming this time around. Can’t we ever learn from our mistakes?
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