Happy (old) Birthday…

This week I turned 41, which felt very weird. Mostly because I’m not sure that I have actually gotten used to being 40 yet. Pandemic time is very strange. In some ways it feels like the last year didn’t happen. It most definitely did though. The good news about that is I get presents!

I’m lucky girl & received loads of gorgeous gifts. My people know me very well. I’m so in love with the new additions to my wardrobe that I just had to share.

My darling sister got me the perfect transitional dress. This light weight black jumper dress is super slouchy, but hugs my curves in all the right places. Me likey!

Ly is in her living room with her hands o her hips. She is wearing a calf length, v neck jumper dress
Jumper Dress – ASOS

Mum came up trumps with this amazing g wrap dress. The lighting isn’t great (no spoons to re do), but it a mixture of red, burnt orange & leopard print. I am very into it.

Ly is in her living with her hands on her hips. She is wearing a leopard print calf length dress
Dress – Together

New shoes never fail to make me smile. So, when I opened not one, but two pairs of knock out shoes. Well done, Mother!

Picture is tattooed feet in two different pairs of shoes. Pink satin flats with red ruched band  & burgundy shiny Mary Janes with chunky soles.
I’m calling these beauties Luxury Bitch & 90’s Bitch.
Shoes – ASOS

Finally I got these excellent undies from M&S. The bra has little flowers that match the knickers. It is one of markies extra support for massive boobies bras. I love that they make these pretty whilst still having scaffold like support.

ly is standing in her living room wearing a black bra & peachy knickers
Bra & Knickers – Marks & Spencer

I’m even more excited for autumn now that I have this gorgeous clobber to show off.

Wilde life…

I am incredibly excited to be working* with the amazing Wilde Mode again. They make the best knickers (& more) in the entire world. Handmade, perfect fit and the coolest prints. What more could I ask for?

Well, let me tell you. Inclusive sizing (xxs – 10xl), eco friendly materials & packaging, diverse advertising, all staff earning a living wage, gender neutral, vegan owned, zero fabric waste & they even plant a tree for every parcel they send. This is exactly the kind of small business we should all be supporting.

Plus, the products are as good as their ethics. I simply can’t get enough these high waisted knickers. I don’t know why but having a big FU on my knickers makes dealing with rotten days so much easier.

If you need even more incentive, there’s still time to grab a bargain in the summer sale. Go!

* Brand Ambassador.

Thou shalt never…

I love a good slogan t shirt. However I’m not really into the sensation of anything too restrictive around my neck. Enter, my shaky customisation skills.

I’ve hardly worn this tee because the crew neck felt uncomfortable. After some chopping & sewing I think it’s going to get much more body time. Add the comfiest velvet trousers, a spot of leopard print & you’ve got a look.

Trousers – Elvi
Vest – Monsoon
T-Shirt – GrlClb

Ready for action…

On Friday our original adventure was rained off, so it was up to Paw Patrol to save the day. The little ones absolutely adored it.

The adults were relieved to discover the puppies big screen debut wasn’t as bad as we imagined. I also managed to curate a cool look & even apply mascara. Big win all round.

ly is standing with her hands on her hips wearing red leopard tights & a sheer black dress
Dress – Monki
Kimono – Simply Be
Shoes – Primark
Glasses – WhereLight

The star is the show are these amazing leopard print tights from Snag. I’ve had them for ages, but Covid & then the heat delayed their first outing. I’m completely in love with them. Expect to see much more of them.

Tights – Snag

Make it easy…

It’s been a tricky couple of weeks, so haven’t been out much. It’s so hot that I’ve been at home in my pants a fair amount. I thought I’d share the comfy & cute looks I’ve been sporting when I have crossed the threshold.

This dress was a gift from my Mum. It’s an excellent choice for this weather. It’s really light, but gives good coverage to avoid sunburn. I love the print and the flouncy skirt.

alt is wearing teen dress with yellow floral print
Dress – Gift
Crop top – ASOS Curve
Kimono – Simply Be

For a wee cinema trip with the boy I popped this dress on. I got it a few summers ago, but haven’t worn it very often. I didn’t realise you could see my knickers through it until I took this pic at the end of day, oops. Another excellent summer for this stifling weather. Loving the tie detail too. We saw the new Croods film & the boy thoroughly enjoyed it.

ly is wearing short gingham dress with tie detail at bust
Dress – ASOS Curve

Finally, today’s outfit. I had one of my nephews this morning, but was too sore for adventures. I introduced him to minions & had a little carry on at home. This skort is my new fav as it is so easy to wear. I teamed it with the comfiest bandeau top & my trusty pillow slides.

ly is wearing blue floral print skirt,  black vest top
Skort – Simply Bev
Bandeau – Primark
Sandals – Pillow Slides

Down by the sea…

Last week I headed north for a wee break by the sea. Our cottage was perfect. Exposed stone walls, cute nautical touches & the most beautiful view.

View of Cartterline bay & lighthouse from hill top

My nephew was along for the ride, so I needed cute unfussy clothes that allowed for much carry on. I also had to account for the crazy heatwave. First thing in my suitcase was this adorable skort that I’ve just bought. I’m not usually a shorts girl, but I really love the teenie skirt/short combo. It was ideal for early morning shenanigans with the rascal.

Ly is wearing floral mini skirt, shark vest & cardi and is standing above a pebble beaches bay
Skort – Simply Be
Vest – Primark (men’s)
Cardi – Handmade by my Mum
Sandals – Pillow Slides
Glasses – Where Light
Ly is lifting floral skirt to shoe shorts attached beneath

For our trip to Stonehaven I opted for this polka dot dress. It’s super light and easy to wear. Whilst still offering coverage to prevent burning in the sun. The wind was blowing so you can’t see just how cute this dress is. You’ll have to trust me that it has a lovely shape. Oh & pockets!

ly is standing at the seafront on a sunny day wearing  green polka dress and using a walking stick
Dress – Gift
Glasses – Where Light

Finally for a blowy day at St Cyrus beach I opted for this trusty jumpsuit. Again, it’s super light and easy to wear. I added the cardi later in the afternoon when the wind got up. When I fancied a paddle I went old school & tucked my jumpsuit in my knickers!

ly is wearing a leopard print jumpsuit & purple cardi.  She is standing on a wooden bridge with a walking stick
Jumpsuit – Very

And I can’t help loving myself…

Let’s start the year with my annual reminder, shall we? As we head into peak ‘new year, new you’ territory let me assure you that weight loss is not self care or improvement. Decreasing your size will not decrease your problems. Changing your diet will not change your life. You do not have to atone for any Xmas indulgence. Punishing yourself with a diet that won’t work anyway will achieve nothing. Even if you don’t believe that diet culture is harmful to you, believe me when I say it is damaging to the fat people in your life. Every time you talk in disgusted tones about how fat you are you tell us what you really think of our bodies. Trust me, we’re sick of hearing it. This is my body and it is good enough exactly as it is. I am fat and attractive and happy. Whether you agree with me or not doesn’t matter. I’m so much more than flesh & skin anyway. It’s sad & frustrating that people still need to be reminded of this.

Snapshots of a fat body

Love your curves & all your edges…

January has been a bit of a fail on the outfit post front. I wasn’t out all that much & I had no photographer when I was. I aim to do better this month. Starting right now.

I wore this outfit to lunch with my bestie a couple of weeks ago, but didn’t get any good pics. I really did like it & recycled the look for a film with my Sis. 


This swing skirt is too big now as the combination of going vegan & taking metaformin has caused me to inadvertently lose some weight. It still looks cute if I pin it a little & I think I’ll try getting it taken in. Anyway, the print is fresh & with a simple vest it shows of my ins & outs nicely. 


Skirt – Lindy Bop

Cardi – Primark

Brooch – Posie Grenadine (Etsy)

I stuck my favourite brooch on for a touch of sass & was good to go. We had a quick, but yummers lunch at Tortilla. Great option for vegans, big thumbs up. 

We saw Split, which could have been a fairly entertaining thriller had it not gone down the tired ‘crazy’ route. The vicious killer has dissociative identity disorder & of course has alters who want to abuse people. This is basically the only way DID is represented by popular culture & is so stigmatising. It’s a shitty trope that needs to stop. In short, I’d suggest giving it a miss. 


Amusing outtake. 

I would be good…..

So, here it is, the obligatory New Year’s resolution post. I doubt it will surprise anyone to learn that I will not be worrying about any of the dieting bullshit. In fact I shall be trying my best to eschew all negative, body policing type thoughts. My focus shall be on enjoying life & challenging myself in positive ways.

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Living with chronic illness can make seizing the moment difficult. Sometimes I really am too sick to do anything, no matter how amazing the opportunity. This year I have decided I will try to be a bit more strategic about my day to day life. I’m hopeful that simple changes such as keeping track of how much sleep I’m getting, taking gentle excercise when I feel up to it & keeping up with my food diary will ease managing my illnesses. I have also resolved to make bigger changes for instance trying a gluten & dairy free diet & pushing my consultants to make a care plan of sorts instead of just constantly adjusting/altering meds. Of course none of these things will cure me, but perhaps a change in diet, being conscious of getting enough rest & so on will improve my symptoms somewhat. At the very least I will feel more in control & I am big on control!

That time of year can be a nightmare for fat folk. Everywhere you look there are diets & fitness regimes. Friends, magazines & celebs alike insisting we must lose any xmas weight gain, pushing us to aspire to a ‘new you’ for a new year. Well, I am hoping for a slightly new me, but it has nothing to do with my weight. I am striving to block it all out completely. I no longer want to think of myself in terms of fat/thin. If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you will know I have already come a long way on the body acceptance trail, now I want to consolidate that. I don’t want to waste energy worrying about weight loss (through ill health) or any future weight gain. My plan is to divest my identity of it’s link to my size. I will be me wether I am a size 22 or 12. My writing, opinions, talents & interests will remain unchanged. This is the message I hope to drive home.

On the challenging front I want to push myself in healthy ways. Instead of berating myself or being
weighed down by guilt, I plan to make it ok for me to be unable to achieve certain things. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not giving myself permission to stagnate. In fact, the opposite, by stretching myself to try things I worry will be too much, I will perhaps surprise myself. However, if I prove unable, I refuse to beat myself up. With a bit of luck this approach may help me extend my freelance work & possibly even branch off in new directions.

Finally, I aim to have as much fun as possible. I will see friends & family as often as I can. Try new activities, even if they scare me or I am rubbish at them! I don’t want to deny myself anything that will make me happy. Be that expensive shoes, a man, a big cake or a day in bed.

2015 is my year to get living.

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I’m all about that bass…

As I have previously mentioned I haven’t been feeling tip top of late. My creativity has been somewhat lacking for which i apologise. When you feel & look deplorable dressing up & trying to take exciting blog shots isn’t high on your list of favoured activities. However, I do really enjoy blogging and I believe it has boosted me towards my body acceptance goals, so I am determined to try harder. Even if I have to start to showcasing my pajama choices, I will be showing my looks.
One of the side effects of my ill health has been weight loss. In the past I would probably have been ecastic with this development. I have certainly done some crazy things in my previous attempts to lose weight, but alas, I am not rejoicing. I have been on the larger side for most of my adult life. I have lost significant amounts of weight on a number of occasions, but never managed to maintain a more svelte physic. I battled long and hard with my body image, in the last year or so, I had begun to feel that I was on the road to winning my own personal body war. I realised I could be fantastic and fat. The only person who was ever really holding me back was me.

This ephinay was the spark that brought this blog to life. I forced myself to be photographed, to display those images and more importantly, to be proud of them. It would not be overstating to say that I it has been a life changing discovery. I’ve grown from a person who cringed at her naked body in the mirror to one who is considering modelling naked for a feminist art project. I have embraced me; flab, scars, stretch marks, droopy boobs & all.

So, here I am, finally reaching contentment with my plus size body when it decides (without consulting me) that it will shrink. I have never lost weight before without being on a deliberate & strict diet. In my dieting days watching those pounds fall away was a joyful experience. Now it is deeply unsettling. I fear the lack of control & am obviously not enjoying the condition that is facilitating the reduction. To be honest, I am at a loss. I have no idea when this loss will stop or how i will look when it does. The truth is i am a little frightened of losing my fat identity. Shock, horror, I don’t think I want to be thin.

I realise I have failed in this post to come to any conclusion, which very much reflects how I feel at the moment. I just wanted to talk a little about what was going on with me. I suppose i also felt i needed the asert the fact that i am not consciously changing myself. It is import to me that woman can believe in body positivity. Everyone can discover how wonderful their body is. I am not turning my back on my fat self, my confidence & pride in my large, curvy form are real. Perhaps this is just an unexpected turn in the journey to self love.