fat positive

I walk the line…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

I’ve needed my walking stick for quite a long time. Maybe 7 or 8 years and I’ve only just become properly comfortable with it. Using a mobility aid, especially earlier in life, is very strange. Everyone has an opinion. No one is shy about sharing it.

All the questions and reactions definitely had an impact on me. I feel self conscious more often than one might expect. I hate when strangers want my medical history. Staring makes me feel shit or angry; sometimes both. I am so fed up with being told I’m so young for a walking stick. I find it really difficult to need accommodations. I feel like a real pain in the arse more often than anyone else is bothered. Likewise, I’m sure I sense judgement more than it actually exists. All of which messes with the confidence.

Then of course there is a sense of loss. Accepting all the things you can no longer do is hard. I struggled on without a stick for longer than I should have because I had this ridiculous idea that I was giving in. I’ve always felt a certain amount of pressure to be stoic in the face of my health issues. A walking stick felt like capitulation. It also forced me across the line in my head of admitting that I was permanently disabled. Before that I was hanging on to the idea that my knee could get better. That was silly considering I’d been assured by more than one Dr that it absolutely would not. Degenerative conditions aren’t known for improvement.

All told, it’s been trickier than I’ve let on. I’ve finally found peace. How do I know? I have personalised my stick. The idea of making it in any way decorative used to make me feel queasy. I have concluded that my subconscious attached styling the stick with it being part of my identity. The way I dress has always reflected my personality. Until very recently including my walking stick in that was a frightening prospect.

Klimt Style

I’m over the line again. If I’m taking the bloody thing every where it might as well be a bit funky. Keep your eyes peeled for new incarnations. Knowing me, I’ll be mixing up it.

Moo Style

If you like what I do you can support me on Patreon.

A fool for your stockings…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

I’ve been bogged down in the day to day of late. Very little excitement. Lots of drudge. This time of year tends to be a bit like this for me.

The miserable weather makes me want to hunker down a little. This results in me kicking about the house in my comfies much of the time. Every now and then I need a wee treat to remind me it’s fun to put an outfit together. This month’s push were these amazing snag tights.

I love snags. There is nothing worse than constantly having to haul your tights up & snags don’t budge. This pair is a fine wool, so cosy without being bulky. I think they look adorable with this dress & t-shirt. Probably even better with a slinky wee evening number. Should I ever embark on a night out again I’ll be sure to give them a bash.

If you like what I do you can support me on Patreon.

Put on a dress, make it a blue one…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

It’s a new year and I have a two new favourites. Both were Xmas presents and I am in love.

My new favourite dress is t shirt dress with a twist. This makes it incredibly comfortable and easy to wear. With the bonus of making my curves look banging. If it is available in other colours/prints, I am buying all of them!

Dress – Asos

My second fav are these wonderful jammies. They are so soft and wonderfully comfy. The fold down waist allows me to accommodate my belly comfortably at even its most extreme pcos bloat. Plus I look cute in them. I honestly would wear them everyday if I could.

Pyjamas – Next

I’ve had a slow start to January, so the jammies have had more wear than the dress. I’m gearing up now, so more fun outfits are coming soon.

If you like what I do you can support me on Patreon.

Another year over & what have we done…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

No doubt everywhere you look you’re seeing lists of achievements, New Year’s resolutions and diet talk. Of course, I am here to interrupt all that bullshit.

For starters, you are not required to have a list of great successes. Some years are a hard slog. We all have different obstacles. For that matter we also have different goals and aspirations. Some folk are happy with their status quo and that is perfectly fine. If you’re worrying about your wins not being big or plentiful enough, please don’t. You made it & that’s enough. I don’t care if you didn’t get a big promotion or a new house, you did do every single day. You took care of yourself (& anyone else you’re responsible for), you paid the bills & made the dinners. You were also there for people in your life, you celebrated birthdays and talked through tough times. You are important, you matter in your everyday life. In the words of Self Esteem, ‘all the days you get to have are big days’. So congratulations, you have completed another turn around the sun. I’m certain you’ve had more impact than you know.

Let’s move along to the resolutions. If there are things you want to do by all means set a goal, make a plan. However, you are not obligated to change or become ‘better’ just because we entered a new year. Chances are you already have a whole heap of stuff piled on your plate. Perhaps you’re struggling to digest all that last year brought. Or maybe you’re half through a project or plan. It’s all good. Jan 1st doesn’t really signify anything. Just keep going.

Finally we come to my most disliked new year pressure; weight loss. You are going to be with adverts, influencers and people in your life telling you about their diet. Everyone will have the answer. This new medication, plan, supplement is the real thing. Let me save you a lot of trouble, it’s all crap. It’s the same thing repackaged and trying to convince you it is the answer to all your problems. Diets don’t work. Deep down we all know that. The vast majority of people regain anything shed via intentional weight loss. In fact, most of us add a bit extra too. What’s more, making your body smaller doesn’t fix anything inside you. It’s not a magic wand. In case you don’t hear it anywhere else, I’m going to say it; your worth is not tied to your weight.

You can live your life right now. Shrinking your body is not required. You do not have to for indulging over the festive season. Nor do you have to put anything on hold until you are smaller. Health and weight loss are not the same thing.

In short, you are enough. I hope you feel that and take it into 2025.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Do you wanna see these clothes on me…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

No matter what my Christmas Day plans are, I always dress up. It probably stems from always having a new outfit for the big day as a child. In any case it’s a thing I have continued. This year getting dolled up was actually required.

My brother invited to us have Xmas dinner at the castle he was married in. It’s a beautiful place that holds sentimental memories from childhood and of course his wedding. Of course I spruced myself up for the occasion. This corset top was an impulse sale buy. It felt a little bare, so I popped this little sheer top underneath. I felt pretty good with the resultant look.

Corset Top – Pretty Little Thing Top – Daisy Street Trousers – Elvi

We had a lovely time. The food was gorgeous; best vegan cheesecake I’ve ever tasted. My nephews had fun opening presents and telling crackers jokes. Santa even made a visit to our table.

Boxing Day is Mum’s birthday. Thus we gathered to celebrate at my sister’s. I was ready for a more relaxed outfit. Luckily, Mum had gave me this cosy hoodie the previous day. Much fun was had with my nephew’s new toys. Predictably, I am as bad at switch sports as the real thing.

Hoodie – Gift

I feel very lucky to have so many wonderful people to enjoy the season with. I hope you all had a safe and comfortable Christmas.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Cold as ice…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

Baby, it’s cold outside! Actually it’s cold inside too. Even with the central heating on all day, I still find myself feeling chilly. So, you can imagine how freezing I get when I do venture outdoors. My solution, wear a cosy jumper with everything!

It works. Even the fanciest of items look super cute with a big slouchy jumper. Don’t believe me, check these looks out.

Cardi – ASOS Petticoat – Lindy Bop

Petticoats are amazing. Wear under a swing skirt/dress and you get a gorgeous retro swirly style. Wear it alone and you get a beautiful puffy tutu ish look. Pair it with some high denier tights and some bright knitwear, you get perfect winter wear.

Take the same cardigan, add a vest & maxi skirt and ta da; no fuss outfit. Exactly the kind of outfit I need for a day with my niblings. This skirt is so incredibly soft and it has pockets. It couldn’t be better.

Skirt – Gift

When I needed something a bit special for a really important meeting I stuck with the theme. I have hardly worn this full length tulle skirt. I’ve decided it is too pretty to languish in my wardrobe. So, I’ve teamed it with a vest and simple cardi to make it a bit more day. I felt so good, swooshing around.

Cardigan – Monsoon

I don’t love the below zero temperatures, but I am fond of layers and winter warmers. If I have to go outdoors I will be wrapping myself in the cosiest, chunkiest knits.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Jingle the shingles…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

My absence has continued. I know, I’m full of excuses. I’m apologise. I just keep getting ill or my meds get messed up or the someone in the world does another really fucked up thing. Anyway, this time it’s shingles. Again.

Yup, I have shingles for the third time in 2yrs. I feel a little bit cursed, but my dr assure me it’s actually my immune system and stress that are the culprits. Oh and being a woman; another perk of my sex. We caught it quick, anti virals galore with a bit of luck it won’t get too horrendous. I feel shitty, but it’s manageable. In amongst all my of body’s fuckwittery there has also been a touch of writers block and a general lack of motivation. What I can offer you is some mini reviews of books that have been keeping company.

We’ll start with good, The Alienist by Caleb Carr. This was re read, but the first read was so long ago that I had forgotten most of the details. I enjoyed it so much that I dove straight into the next book in the series, The Angel of Darkness. Both are set in 1890’s NYC. They follow a group of unofficial detectives on the trail of horrific serial killers. They’re led by Dr Kreisler, a pioneering psychologist who uses his unorthodox theories to capture their foe. The rest of the team is comprised of journalist John Moore, trailblazing police secretary Sara Howard and experts in new detective & forensic techniques the Issacson brothers. I love the way emerging ideas that are now commonplace are intertwined throughout the story. They’re classic crime thrillers with intriguing characters. Incredibly engaging, highly recommend.

I am less effusive about Love Untold by Ruth Jones. The book follows four generations of women in a family. It is an interesting story, but not well executed. Some of the character flaws make it difficult to like them, which impacts the books resolution. I also find the plot reveals to be clunky. The book meanders for chapters and then has huge plot dumps. It felt very unsatisfying.

My sister lent me Three Hours by Rosamund Lipton. It’s not my usual thing, but I enjoyed it. Set during a school shooting and told from various perspectives. It is a high tension page turner with some nice twists. The characters are really well developed; the other does a fantastic job of making you care about them.

I hope to regain my mojo very soon. I am doing my best to get into the Christmas spirit. Fingers crossed!

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Crazy little world…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

I know I promised to write about some of the significant things happening in our crazy world, but my own little crazy world has gotten the better of me. I’ve been struggling with a gastro flare & non stop fainting. Both of which have left me exhausted. So, once I have contended with life’s essentials, I have very little left.

I’ve been using any leftover spoons to see my littles and take care of myself. One of the things I can do that makes me feel a tiny bit better is paint my nails. Of course I have been getting spooky with my nail art.

On Saturday I ventured out to the theatre to see my nephew’s Halloween show. The show was fantastic, I was so proud of him. I also took the opportunity to debut my new glasses. I am utterly in love with them.

Glasses – Where Light
Skirt – Lindy Bop

Bear with me, more insightful content coming soon.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Wrapped up in books…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

The few weeks I have been reading some impulse buys. I had a load of Waterstones stamps to spend and decided to pick up some books that took my fancy without knowing much about them.

First up, Luckenbooth by Jenni Fagan. The book follows the events in an Edinburgh tenement over the course of 100yrs. It includes the stories of a diverse group of characters with a consistent occult undercurrent. I loved that each tenant’s story was full of surprises. The inclusion of real events and nods to social values of each period kept me engaged. In fact, I really wanted more on some of the characters. If you like a bit of spooky history you will enjoy this.

I finished David Mitchell’s Unruly this morning. I would happily had read his take on another few centuries. I’ve always been fascinated by royal history. Mostly because it is horrific to consider how the whims of avaricious men impacted the course of history. Mitchell’s comedic touch greases the wheels of brutal history. The book is exactly what it claims to be, an entertaining account of English Kings & Queens. History buff or not this one is worth a read, it’s genuinely a page turner. I love when people have the talent to make potentially dense material accessible.

I have another couple of from that little haul to go. I’ll let you know if they were good picks too.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.

Birthday Bitch…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves

September is a bumper birthday month around here. My own slips in right at the end, so I am now 44yrs old. How did that happen?

Anyway, I think I’m doing ok for an old bird. On Sunday we had a big lunch with cake, presents and the whole shebang. Obviously I had to smash it with my outfit and I did! Perhaps you’re not supposed to blow your on trumpet, I do not care. I looked gooooood. You’d never guess I’m middle aged.

I’m feeling pretty strange about this whole mid 40’s thing. I don’t know how I got here so fast. I need someone to catch up the ly in my head. She still feels like her twenties were five minutes ago. Except they also feel a lifetime ago too. It’s very confusing in here. Reckoning with mortality and all the things that are behind me is tough. It’s just as well I’m such a hottie; takes the sting out of it.

If you like what I do you can support me here or on Patreon.