She put on her party dress…

A couple of weeks my beautiful little Madison turned 2 years old and of course she had a party. It wasn’t only the Birthday girl who needed the perfect party dress; Auntie ly has to hunt one down too.

I found this polka dot delighted in Monki. I’m taken with this colour combo and I always love a tiered skirt.

ly h Kerr, sister & friend holding their toddlers

Dress – Monki

Vest – Primark

Sandals – Next

The little ones had a ball with cake & balloons & bubbles. I snuck a little feminism into my present (yes, I’m that auntie).

Balloons, birthday cake & children at party

I can’t believe how quickly all my little ones are growing up. I don’t know where all the tiny babies went, but it’s just so lovely to watch them all discover the world.

ly wearing green glasses & purple lipstick

Glasses – Where.Light

Lipstick – Nyx

My dress always gave me an opportunity to break out this epic lippy. I think I pulled off the crazy Aunt look pretty well.

Advertisements

She’s a very kinky girl…

Every now and then I come across a phrase or slogan that perfectly encapsulates an element of my daily experience. Whenever I do I kind of want to wear it emblazoned on my chest. So, this time I did.

Fat women wearing t shirt saying my kink is being called fat by men I reject online

T – Shirt – Custom slogan by Paper Press Ireland.

The reaction to this T- Shirt sums up how common this behaviour is. Several woman enthusiastically complimented it. More men gave me looks. The only man to comment advised me that I was attractive, but I would intimidate men by wearing such a thing. I laughed as I told him I wasn’t looking for man & would never be interested in one who felt intimidated by honesty. I suppose it underlines what I already knew, masculinity is oh so fragile.

In case the meaning is lost, I’ll spell it out. I’m fat. I’m also fucking incredible. I was fat when you sleazed on me. I was fat when I turned you down. I was fat when you tried to insult me & I’m still fat when I mock you. I’m not ashamed. I’m not desperate. I’m not waiting for your approval. Oh & I’m not alone. Fat femmes are not seeking random male approval. We know our worth. We want none of your sub standard attention. In short, don’t poke the magnificent bear.

Ly making silly face

My week in pictures…

I’ve been a bit stuck in the doldrums. Sometimes when my mood takes a dive I can get overwhelmed and struggle to get anything done. To tackle that I decided to make a concentrated effort to take time for myself; focusing on things that release pressure and make me feel good. It has been successful strategy. A treated & rested me has managed to get more on top of things.

I started last week with a wee spa escape. I grabbed my Mum & Sister and embarked upon a relaxing break in a Dundee. Of course we let the Baba crash our girls trip.

We had a lovely time luxuriating in the spa and kicking back in our suite. We checked out the stunning V&A. Indulged in some delicious food and had a tonne of carry on. I’m so glad my family are such loveable maniacs. We always have so much fun together. It was bliss for me to spend so much time with the boy. I love getting to do bedtime, reading him endless stories and hearing him call out my name when he wakes up. Little ones are the best medicine.

Plus size woman posing at v&a

Dress – Monki

Shirt – Boohoo

Tights – Snag Tights

Various v&a Dundee Family snap shotsVarious Dundee

I arrived home midweek and got stuck right into my outstanding ‘to do’ lists. After a few days trundling through housework and editing I was ready for something lighter. Diversion came in the form of the wonderful Strathaven Balloon Festival. I’ve always loved hot air balloons. Unfortunately the rides book out weeks in advance, so I didn’t get a chance to take to the skies. Good times were still had. Someone turned the sun back on for us this weekend and we got a scorcher.

We had a go around the boating pond before a little bouncing.

Baby on bouncy castle

Watched people fall from the sky and got up close with some owls.

Sky diver with open parachute

Did a bit of colouring and then the boy got to try out a mini balloon ride.

Children’s hot air balloon ride

Finally it was time for the star of the show. They were worth the wait. Red hot air balloon in the sky Hot air balloon in riding above trees

I tried to beat the heat with barely there t shirt & the cutest crop top. I still felt like I was a million degrees, but at least I looked pretty cool.

Plus size woman in tent wearing maxi skirt & rainbow crop top

T- Shirt – Pretty Little Thing

Crop top – Wilde Mode *

Skirt – New Look

Sandals – Next

* Brand Ambassador

Now I’m a believer…

The weather has made selecting outfits a little tricky. It’s uncomfortably hot, but also pouring rain most days. As a result I’ve been looking very frazzled. Today I think I cracked it.

This outfit is totally out of my comfort zone. I almost always wear skirts or dresses, but have wanted to try jumpsuits for ages. The only problem is every one I have tried has been too short & given me the dreaded camel toe. I sized up in this one & it fits nicely. I was still worried it might ride up after some wear.

ly h Kerr tropical jumpsuit

Jumpsuit – Unique21 (via Asos)*

Sandals – Next

Tropical print

Thankfully it stayed cute all evening. The fabric is super light and the print is divine. I’m a jumpsuit convert. This week I also finally found some time to get my hair cut. It badly needed a trim & tidy. My layers are now banging again. It’s amazing how good a cut and blow dry can make you feel.

ly h Kerr new haircut

Glasses – Where.light

* Gifted, but opinion remain my own.

It’s getting hot in here…

It is hot. Too hot for some of us. Fat bodies have a few trouble spots in these kind of temperatures. This is my guide to keeping cool & comfortable.

Sunblock

I know this is pretty obvious, but it is essential. Remember to reapply often & maybe even up your factor. Also check that your sunscreen protects you from UVA & UVB rays.

Aloe Vera

If you do get a little too much sun, aloe vera is amazing for sunburn. Just pop a leave on the fridge and squeeze the gel inside straight into your skin. It is instantly soothing. Even if you’re not burnt the sun can dry you out & aloe is also an amazing moisturiser.

Beat the Chub Rub

Thunder thighs are glorious, but they don’t half chafe when you slip a sun dress on. I used to rely on bicycle shorts, but I hated having to add another layer. I was delighted to discover Ivy Verdure. It’s a stick that you roll directly onto your thighs and the will glide off each other all day. I’ve thoroughly tested it and it really works. It will last all day. Even when you’re dripping with sweat & on the go for hours it holds up. You can use it to prevent blisters too. Oh & of course it’s vegan.

Talc

Bung some on the soles of your feet to stop your shoes getting gross when you feet are going in bare. A little under big breasts holds off the dreaded boobs sweat.

Ditch the Underwire

Maybe it’s just me, but sometimes I cannot cope with underwired bras on this heat. For the last few months I’ve been thanking my stars that I found Wilde Mode comfort tops. They’re super comfortable & supportive. Plus cute as hell. My second bra recommendation for my more well endowed folks are these amazing invisible vests from Primark. They are the slinkiest, loveliest vests I’ve ever worn. They hold my frankly ridiculously saggy tits firmly in place whilst feeling like they aren’t even there.

Spritz Yourself

If you haven’t already, get yourself some cool spray. It’s everywhere from high end brands to the poundshop. Weird as it seems, it really works. Just a little can of water & some magic things that stay cold. Keep it on your handbag & spray on your pulse points for a quick chill down.

Hydrate

This is most likely apparent to all. Just in case, drink water. Lots of it. As much as you can get on your gob. Hydrate, hydrate, hysdrate.

Do You

Last, bit absolutely not least, wear whatever the hell you want. You don’t have to ‘get in shape’ for summer. You don’t have to hide anything. All clothes are for all bodies. Have fun, feel good & wear what you like.

Things that make you go moo…

Yesterday was apparently the hottest day of the year. Let me tell you, Glasgow is not set up for 30 degree heat. Selecting clothes that leave me a sweaty mess is getting harder every day. For yesterday’s day with my nephews I kept it pretty simple.

After reading some stories & making lots of mess with my bigger boy. I headed to the park to introduce the baba to my favourite her of highland cattle. I really love these cows and if course the little one did too.

I matched a 90’s inspired hankie hem with a simple black vest. I added a super light kimono for some colour.

ly h Kerr Pollok House

Skirt – Primark

Kimono – ASOS Curve

Vest – Primark

Woman & child playing in formal garden

Alas, I still melted. So much so that I had to knock up my own makeshift ice pack. Thankfully my factor 50 did its job and my skin remains almost see through.

Flushed

Feelin’ good as hell…

Global warming has given us another insane heatwave. It’s hard to keep cool in this weather. If you are concerned about what others may say about any flesh you reveal, it’s even harder. So, I thought I’d cover some old ground just in case any new readers need some tips. Here’s my guide to getting comfortable with your body.

Look at yourself.

I think the first step is looking at yourself. Really look. Stop avoiding mirrors and rushing to get dressed after a showers. Get comfortable naked. And in your underwear. And different types of clothes. Touch yourself, not the way (well, that way if you want). When it comes to your body familiarity does not breed contempt. Getting to know your body leads to acceptance, which is the first step to self love. You’ll be surprised how quickly you learn to enjoy your jiggle.

Various images of body parts

Take pictures.

Photograph yourself every chance you get. Selfies, nights out, big events, pictures of your feet, anything. Get used to looking at yourself living your life. I used to duck out of pictures because I hated the way I looked in them. Forcing myself to be present in those pictures plus taking hundreds of myself is the only thing that let me see the truth. I didn’t like the things society had taught me not to like. I hated my rounder face, flabby arms & chunky calves because I thought I had to be something else to be worthy. Once I started appreciating those pictures for what they were; a record of living, I could enjoy them. The more I looked at images of myself and others the more I could see that everyone had those terrible unflattering shots where they look nothing like themselves. Everyone had those snaps that amplify their perceived flaw. Everyone has those pictures in which we miraculously look like a model version of ourselves. None of it matters. What matters is having the memory of that time & place. Capturing that moment of you living your life. Seeing myself living & loving in those pictures showed me that my body was absolutely good enough. Your body is just the vehicle that allows you experience the world. What you look like at any given time matters much less than what you’re feeling & seeing & loving.

Happy fat snap shots

Positive consumption.

Surround yourself with things that make you feel good. Change your reading, watching & following habits. Ditch investing in anything that is focused on diet culture & traditional beauty standards. Discovering the Body Positive blogging community changed my life. For the first time I was seeing fat people who liked themselves. People with bodies similar to mine proudly taking up space & looking amazing. When you submerse yourself in spaces that reject fat phobia you begin to feel differently about yourself. To begin with I was in awe of those plus bloggers. I thought I could never have their confidence or be so beautiful. As I learned more about bopo and started unlearning all I previously been taught about my body, I had a revelation. If these fat women I was admiring were stunning, sexy & elegant then I could be too. If I see beauty in other fat bodies then what I despise about myself is not my wobbly belly. Click unfollow on anything that makes you feel not good enough. Replace that stuff with content that embraces diversity and honours people who look like you.

Start doing

Make a list of all of the things you want to do but feel you can’t because you are fat. Not just wild ambitions, everything. Do you worry about eating crisps on the bus? Think you shouldn’t wear a short skirt or even shy away from getting on top with your lovers? Put it all on the list and then start doing them. Start living your life. Pick the easiest ones first. Trust me, your confidence will grow. There will always be someone who does not like you loving your fat self. There will sometimes be looks or comments. You will stop feeling crushed by them. When you realise how much you gain from accepting your body as it is and experiencing your life to the max, someone saying you’re fat no longer matters. Losing weight will not make you happier. All you problems shrink to fit into your smaller body. You can live now.Fat woman living

Stay tuned for my advice on avoiding all the discomforts summer can bestow on is chubs.