It’s been a very hard month(?). Hard to be sure how long because my brain is utterly scrambled. In any case, there has been a lot of medical bullshit and I have not been taking care of business. I have been indulging in therapeutical level loud music, these are the songs that have been on repeat.
I Do This All The Time
Since seeing Self Esteem at Trnsmt. I have been a tiny bit obsessed with this song. Self Esteem is awesome in general, but this song really hit home. Its a cool uplifting anthem, with a ‘you got this’ message. This song has summer has hit written all over it. I suspect its success might be in part because of how well Self Esteem understands her audience. The lyrics really get into the thoughts and concerns of so many women. Our tendency to believe we’re not making the right choices, picking the right people or being good enough at all. Some of these lyrics felt like they were written just for me, especially the ‘you’re a stocky girl’ & ‘it was really rather miserable trying to love you’ lines. It is reassuring to hear someone get that and dispel it all in one upbeat banger. You didn’t think you’d live this long sun happily will get me every time.
I Am Not Ready
I discovered Olivia Broadfield via The Split. This soundtrack made the series even more heartbreaking. She is a lyrical genius. I feel these words in my bones. I am a sucker for a sad song and this entire album is perfect. I Am Not Ready works for either grieving someone who has died or lost relationship sense. Oh man, if you’ve experienced either, this one cuts deep. Broadfield’s beautiful voice begging to know if it ever gets easier is a killer. Let’s face it, we’re never ready to say goodbye to the people we want to keep.
I can’t even remember where I heard this song. I don’t know anything about Beach Bunny nor have I checked out their other music yet. I just find joy in this song. It’s a dreamy, lovey dovey, summer tune. It makes me smile when I’m stuck in a stifling waiting room. That’s good enough for me.
Worry Bout You
I found Kendra Celise on Tik Tik. She is a singer/songwriter with a kick arse country vibe. She was inspired to write this song after a phone call from her ex husband’s new girlfriend. I have to say I think this is the coolest way to deal with some daft bitch bothering you. Her lyrics are clever and this song is so good when it’s blasting all through the house.
Bronan isn’t always as delighted with my loud choices, but he does always forgive me.
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Yesterday I did a thing that I thought I could no longer do. Let me tell you, it felt fucking awesome. For the first time in more than a decade I hit a festival and I am going to tell you all about it.
Trnsmt Festival takes place on Glasgow Green in the centre of my dear home town. Back in my day the Glasgow fest to be at was Gig on the Green. In my youth I saw Feeder, Pulp, the Chilli Peppers, Foo Fighters, Travis and so many more on this big patch of green in the middle of the city. I loved those days of dancing, drinking and screaming out lyrics. Unfortunately, festivals had been added to the list of the things chronic illness made impossible.
Then came Trnsmt with its excellent accesible facilities and my beautiful sister with her VIP tickets. All of a sudden 41yr old, mobility impaired and pain inflicted me is back with the band(s). They put the effort in to make the festival as accessible as possible. With accommodations for hearing & sight impaired customers. Disabled viewing platforms with amazing views, accessible toilets that catered to all needs, free water taps to fill up and no queue sections at bars/vendors. There was an area for guide dogs to relax as well as a cool chill out zone for people who needed it. Blue badge parking & disabled entrance which cut the trek to the action was also available on request. Of course their were first aiders and medical assistance points. The accessible passes were easy to apply for. A quick online form, proof of PIP (if in receipt, passes were available with a short explanation of your needs without evidence) and Blue Badge number for parking were all that was required. Free companion tickets were available via the same process. I was able to enjoy the full festival experience whilst also having all my needs met. I can’t speak for everyone, but the organisers get a big round of applause from me.
As good as the accessibility was I was still grateful to have those VIP bands. The VIP area was a great staging ground for our day. We were able to sit down, eat and plan in comfort. The toilets in this area were also a huge step up from any porto loo. Extra bonus of separate VIP entrance & exit to avoid the crowds. All considered, the ticket prices aren’t that much more, I would definitely recommend. With the sun shining, music in the air and our free Prosecco in hand we headed into a day to remember.
First on our list was Wet Leg; a band my sis was dying to see. I thought I didn’t know them, but turns out they are big on Tik Tok and I already loved a few of their songs. My bestie and I thought they sounded a lot like the Riot Grrrls of our youth, but the kids were still loving them. After a cider on the grass and a lot of help getting back up again we headed to the King Tut’s stage. Comfortably seated on the viewing platform we bopped to CMAT and Self Esteem. Self Esteem was bloody good, definitely added to my Spotify likes. We could see the crowd demographic shifting to our age group as Maximo Park hit the stage for an energetic set. The cider continued to flow as we enjoyed Jimmy Eat world and then headed back to the main stage for the headliner.
The Strokes were superb. Classics mixed with newer stuff. An amusing jam whilst an amp was fixed. Some slightly odd banter and even a nod to Monty Python. I had missed the feeling of partying in a field with thousands of other people more than I knew. Watching the sun go down as your favs blast out songs you love is quite the buzz. I have so many amazing memories set to The Strokes, most of them with my sis and Pam. It was incredible to be making more with them.
The vibe at Trnsmt was just like the old days. Friendly, drunk and pleasantly raucous. I particularly loved all the body liberation on show. Folks of all shapes, sizes, genders and ages rocking whatever they wanted. All looking fabulous and giving zero fucks. I was also chuffed to discover that I haven’t lost all my party girl credentials. I can still guzzle the cider without embarrassing myself. Even better several pints and a tonne of water in, I was still able to go the entire day with visiting a loo. Anyone who has ever been to a festival (or whose every step hurts) knows that is the ultimate skill.
The day was all the better for being with my sister and best friend. They always help me without making me feel like a horrible burden. Plus of course, they are the fucking best fun ever. Here’s to accessibility and good times!
The sun is out and I have a had a nice week. Here is what is have been up to.
I had a lovely time with some of my little ones. Everyone was feeling snuggly this week, so auntie ly got all the cuddles.
The wildflowers I have planted have come out in force this year and they make me so happy. I have these beautiful Marguerites at my front door that make me smile every time I leave the house. Bees appear to love them and this week ladybirds were also enjoying my blooms.
On Thursday I met my very favourite man for drinks and some chat. It was crazy hot in Glasgow so I opted for a super floaty and light outfit. It was nice to be out and having some adult conversation. Much fun was had.
Unfortunately my body rebelled and Friday was a festival of pain. It’s looking like a weekend of rest and recovery. I hate that there is always a price to pay, but I still really cherish the days I get to do lovely things.
Life is a bit more of a grind at the moment. My body isn’t giving me the easiest of times and as a result I haven’t been able to get out much. In the last couple of weeks I have managed two excursions and this is what I wore.
Two Fridays ago I took a trip to a fun little farm park called Monty’s with my sis & her boy. The boy loved the place and it was very accessible for Auntie ly too. Loads of places to sit and rest whilst he ran around. Oh & loads of cute farm friends too.
Yesterday I managed a lovely trip over to my bestie’s to have a good carry on with her brood. It felt so good to be out of the house and with people I love. Outfit wise, I went for a super cute jumpsuit. This one is lightweight and loose; perfect for a sore body on a muggy day.
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In real life I have discovered that I’m just not the marrying kind. Gone are days of planning what flowers & venue I’d like. Except of course in my fantasies. I know I don’t want the traditional set up in reality, but I could definitely live happily ever after with these fictional husbands.
I’ve taken a tip from Joey & Chandler and gone local. Frankie is Glasgow born & bred. He lives here, we share a cultural background, we would understand each other’s accents. Obviously, he’s hilarious which every woman knows is a knicker dropper. He’s also intelligent, thoughtful & socially conscientious. He gives me good partner vibes. In my mind he is the perfect mix of old school Glasgow & talk weird poetry with you all night guy. Total fantasy husband material.
My Hislop love is no secret. This man’s wit & intelligence knock me out. You can see him striving to maintain integrity while he uncovers the lack of it in others. He’s been married to the same woman for a long time; proof of husband material abilities. Ian will say his shit right to whoever’s face and that’s a quality I am into. There’s also a supreme underlying confidence which I believe all adds up to literal big dick energy. I do, I really do.
Pete is a change of pace. I have only recently become aware of his existence when the internet went wild about him bagging hot ladies. I wondered who this dude was & why everyone was so shocked. Ten mins googling & some YouTube videos later I was smitten. I totally get it. His gangly honesty is appealing. This is a man who would keep you laughing & be delighted to follow your lead. I can handle a bit of chaos. The Kardashian thing is a problem, but hey, this fantasy.
Or more specifically Inspector Lewis, the character he played. Lewis is your classic family man. He adored his wife, couldn’t look at another woman for years after her death. Loving Father, doting grandfather, caring friend & all round nice guy. He has all those cute Dad jokes & soulful eyes. In short, he’s a keeper. The cop thing would be a spanner in the works in real life, but again, we’re in dream land.
My Grey’s Anatomy fav is Owen. I like his intensity. This is not a man with commitment issues. He will marry you at the drop of hat. He’s dying to be a Daddy and he’ll tenderly nurse you through any traumatic event that occurs. All the while saving lives & maintaining a raw ‘do you in the boiler room’ hotness. Forget McDreamy, McSteamy & even Evil Spawn, Hunt is my medical dreamboat.
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On Friday we took my dad out for an early birthday lunch. Dad’s birthday is actually Valentine’s Day, which led his Mum to want to name him Valentino. His Father had other ideas and he ended up Hugh. Considering he grew up in 1950’s Glasgow this was probably a good thing, Anyway, he’s a very lovely Dad and we like to treat him.
Lunch in The McMillan, which is fast becoming one of my fav spots called for a cool look. Luckily I still had an unworn Xmas gift that was perfect for the occasion. My excellent little sister gave me this gorgeous leopard print dress. We have very different styles, but she still manages to always pick things that I love.
It’s a super soft fabric and feels so nice. It does show my belly line when I’m moving, but that’s a thing I have been trying hard to be less worried about. Bellies are fine. Bellies are cute. I have been working on not avoiding dresses I love because they are fitted over that area. I don’t have a problem with that bit naked, so why should I care dressed? Body liberation is a continuous process people!
I added a little extra leopard print with my fab kimono because I love a bit of layering. Also it is freezing here. Finished the look with my staple snags.
We had a fun lunch. Food was delicious & company was of course a delight. I can’t believe my Dad is 74, he doesn’t look or act that old. In fact, I’m beginning to think my parents are wearing age better than I am!
* If you fancy some Where Light glasses you can use my code (LHK30) for 30% off. (Not sponsored or gifted).
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Boxing Day is my Mum’s birthday, so I took advantage of a nice family lunch to try out one of my Xmas gifts.
This dress is from my Mum & it’s a cracker. Super soft & comfy, fits like glove. It is my first from In the Style and it’s getting a big thumbs up.
I felt so good in this dress. Plus it was so easy to wear. I like that go up to a 28 (not perfect, but much more inclusive than many). I also like that most of their styles are available in their full size range instead of a just a small selection in a plus range. All in all I’m loving this brand.
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My health has been yuck for the last few weeks and have been stuck at home. It’s been all jammies & running life from my phone for me. My biggest adventure has been finally getting my booster jab this week.
After a really rough weekend with a stomach flare it felt really good to keep down some toast & mint tea. That little boost encouraged me to put some mascara on & get my Xmas t shirt out. I was only going to get my Covid booster, but it did feel nice to get a little fresh air and see the outside world. Of course I also felt relieved to be fully vaxxed again!
My Xmas parcel from my dear friend Jenna arrived early from philly, of course I opened it. One of the lovely gifts she sent was this bangle, which I wore immediately. She knows me so well.
I got my vaccine at Glasgow Central Mosque. The building is really pretty so I could not resist snapping a photo. Along with a few other random ‘I’m outside’ pictures.
Please do get your booster. We do not want to be messing around with new variants. I felt a little rough yesterday, mostly a bad headache. Much improved today and delighted for the reassurance of extra protection. Take care out there.
I’ve been working on/thinking about this piece for a while, but there have been moving parts. With COP26 happening a few miles from my doorstep now seemed the time to float it.
I’m a big supporter of supporting small brands, especially local ones. The benefits of shopping small are multi fold and many naturally align themselves with anti climate change measures. Ethical business practices including zero waste, natural ingredients, recycling materials, vegan products, less environmental impact of using locally sourced material & taking to market close to that source are all more prevelant (& easier to confirm) in small business. There are of course also the direct human impacts of living wages, supporting passion projects & allowing sustainable lifestyles to thrive. It all adds up to small brands being a sensible & compassionate way to spend your money.
What’s more, this thinking is going mainstream. We’re all really staring to get on board with this thinking. It’s a slow burn, but the flames are building. Ethical consumption is becoming a hot topic. All of which is wonderful, except for the people who are excluded. There are barriers to ethical shopping. Some of which are not at the fault of the business. For example, cost. Paying a living wage, sourcing ethical material, handmade items etc all necessarily drive up price. That more people can afford those prices is a societal issue (which also massively impacts climate change). However, sometimes the exclusion is a choice & that’s where your favourite fat nag comes in.
As a fat disabled freelancer I find myself forced to buy from places that would not be first choice. Having a variable income & a fat arse means I have to rely on fast fashion much more than I would I like. I do really try to support ethical brands, but with clothes in particular it is a struggle. I usually wear a uk 20/22, which though on the smaller side of the plus range, is still battle underrepresented outside the big high street brands. If I did not have access to the internet my wardrobe would rapidly diminish. I would love to shop in the many cool independent shops that Glasgow has spurned, but it honestly isn’t possible. There are limited options for t shirts & more expensive made to measure items. For most items, matching even high end big brand prices is still a dream.
The reason it’s taken me so long to put this together is that I tried a little fashion experiment. I searched a selection of small independent stores in Glasgow for my own or larger sizes. When I couldn’t find any I contacted the shops to enquire if they planned to expand their ranges to include larger people. The answers I received (or not) were deeply predictable.
The largest size I could find on their site was a UK 20 & that was only a few items. I contacted them late September to ask if they had any plans to extend their range of sizes. I have yet to receive a response.
The largest size I could find on this site was a UK 18. This brand is billed as slow fashion made in Glasgow. I contacted them in late September & did receive a quick response. However, it was the familiar story of being a very small brand & so unable to expand their sizing. I’ve never bought this argument as an independent small batch creator is entirely in control of what they produce. If inclusivity were a priority they would work it out.
This site was the most confusing. Most of their clothes had no size information at all. I contacted the shop mid September & received a quick reply. Their clothes are ‘one size fits all’, which apparently will fit a size 12-18 depending on required fit. I’m sure all my fellow fatties will be as dubious of ‘one size’ as I am. It almost always mean, not for you. However, when I asked about plans to extend sizing they did say that added new lines/designers every season and they may stock larger sizes in the future. Although that answer is vague it did at least show willingness to expand.
I contacted this shop in late July to ask if the had plans to extend their size range & have yet to receive a response. The biggest size I could find on their website was an XL & that was only available for some t-shirts. There’s no size guide on the site, so I don’t know what the XL translates to. I can say that I have tried to shop here (they have lots of cool things) & nothing came close to fitting me.
The largest size I could find on their site was UK 16. I contacted them in August & have yet to receive a response.
The point of this experiment is not to damage these brands. They are all small independent businesses stocking desirable fashion. Rather I just want to show the lack of options for the would be ethical fat consumer. Please continue to patronise independent local boutiques. It is important that we help this type of business flourish. However, if you notice that your fav has a limited size range please ask them about that. There is a huge untapped market, we need customers to show interest in larger sizes to prove that.
If you are looking for small Scottish brands to support you can find some here & here .
Autumn has officially arrived and I couldn’t be happier. This is definitely my favourite season. I love that first chill in the air, the rich colours and of course all the spooky fun.
This week I’ve been enjoying that crisp weather & getting out a little bit. I kicked off with a wee (work based) hotel stay. What do you do alone in a hotel on a Sunday night? Mess around & take pictures obviously.
I took advantage of already being in town to meet to with a my favourite man. Covid has meant I have seen him much less than I’d like. So, tapas, wine & chat was perfect. I also took the opportunity to debut the first of my spooky bargains. I kind of want to wear this bat playsuit every day now.
Wednesday brought a midweek adventure in the firm of Frankie Boyle. My sis & I took in his Work in Progress at Glee Club. He was of course hilarious. If e your things, get a ticket. His support, Christopher MacArthur-Boyd is also chuckle worthy. If sharp political commentary & utterly repulsive comedy are your thing, get a ticket.
I concluded the week with a tea party to celebrate my besties’ twins. I’m never happier than when on Auntie duty. Bigger niblings got on with some carry on whilst a bunch of women coo’d over the babas. It was a good Sunday.