Sail away…

As you may or may not be aware it was my birthday at the end of September & the Toyboy treated me to a wee spa break to celebrate. Dundee was our destination so that we could take in the newly opened V&A. Which, I am of course going to tell you all about.

The Dundee V&A is a spectacular building housing a design museum. It’s located right on the river Tay and takes full advantage of it’s location. Our hotel was about 3mins away, so despite it blowing a gale, we wandered along the river. I was actually pretty pleased about the wild weather because it gave me an opportunity to wear my wonderful new coat. I also rather like the feeling of abandon I get when I stare across rough waters.

River Tay, V&A, ly h Kerr

Coat – Glamorous

For me the star of the V&A show is the building itself. It’s spectacular. New interest from every angle. Outside paths curve under & lead you through the middle of building. The solid concrete ‘cladding’ outside is complimented by a similar, but much softer wooden effect inside. Numerous cleverly placed windows create perfectly framed views across the river. They almost feel like art themselves. The whole place feels very fresh. There are so many little nooks hidden in plain sight to discover. All whilst still maintaining a feeling light open space. In short, I loved it.

Toyboy exploring Dundee v&aDundee V&A

Upstairs houses a fairly exhaustive exhibit of the history of Scottish design. It dips a toe onto everything from computer games, to tartan by passing the Scott Monument & industrial design along the way. They also cover fashion, jewellery, interiors & just about everything you can imagine. I even discovered the speedos were Scottish!

Scott Monument model, tiara, Edinburgh festival posters, Scottish design museum

There are some cute interactive bits for kids & a sort of treasure hunt including stamping a book when you find exhibits. The museum is fully accessible & has loads of benches dotted around if you need to rest. It also has lockers so you don’t need to cart all your bags & coats around with you. The main gallery is free, but they do have visiting exhibits which are ticketed. Currently on show is, Ocean Liners, Speed & Style, which we obviously had a gander at.

I am so glad we did. The exhibit covers pretty much everything you need to know about the glory days of ocean liners. It begins with plenty of information about engines & ship building for who are curious about such matters. Moves onto a stunning display of interiors from first class of various liners. The level of luxury is impressive. Items from late 19th century right through to the post war era are included and there was no scrimping for those with a 1st class ticket. I absolutely adored it. The attention to detail & grandeur was incredible. By the time I reached the gallery housing fashions of the passengers I was completely ready to buy a ticket to the past & set sail.

Oven liner exhibit at Dundee v&aOcean liner exhibits Dundee v&aDundee v&aDundee v&a

Dundee v&a

For my design excursion I did classic ly style; clashing prints & a bunch of colours. This leopard print dress was an Asos sale steal. I particularly love the fluted the sleeves. Star of my show, though is my fabulous new coat (see above). Bold red tartan is not something I can resist. It is also kept me very snug in the freezing wind. I’d say size up, if you want the less fitted look I’ve gone for (& if you want to comfortably house your winter layers in it).

Dress – ASOS Curve

Shoes – Primark

Bag – Topshop

Oh & of course #projectpostit left a little something for future visitors to ponder & I took a wee piece of luxury home.

#projectpostit

Luxury pin

A week (ish) in pictures…

It’s been more like 3 weeks & they haven’t been the most productive. I finally painted my nails today & I have some appointments set up this week for oPeration BoPo. Life goes on & so do I. So, there will be more exciting & uplifting posts coming soon. For now, here’s a wee photographic glimpse at my quiet days. 


Bright days, escapist movies & lunches with my sis have been soothing.


Spring flowers & spring cleaning (it still counts if you pay someone to do it, right?) have helped with that starting over feeling. Pretty skys, my pretty cat & effective drugs have also done their thing.


Easter treats, thrifting, lazy days & random sights have helped to ward away the deep blues. My puss cat in both snuggle & grump mode is a tonic. Oh & look at my nephew’s face; it doesn’t get more life affirming than that. 




Rest, dancing light in my home & the beauty of my own fat arse have given me a boost this weekend.  I’m hoping it will carry me through the week.

After all, as Scarlett O’Hara would say, tomorrow is another day. 

All I can say is I’m breathing…

PTSD is a persistent foe. You can make progress & start to think maybe, just maybe you can actually defeat this bastard, but it knows you think that. 

It’s waiting for you to relax your hyper vigilence. The moment you begin to let go of the breath you’ve been holding for 17yrs it will suck it in & grow.

Folks in your life see you gaining strength & think you’re better. There is no ‘better’.  There is managing ,

coping,

trying to live,

daring to live?

The good days can start to stack up. You can feel a safe distance from the horror, but you can never be sure. 

You can never be certain that a flashback won’t stun you like lightening. 

And stuck in that hot, white memory you could loosen your grip on the here & now.

The relative calm & safety could be shattered. Perhaps only for that instant. You could be lucky, those smells & fears could melt away. Current achievements or delights may well wash over you. It’s possible. That happens. 

You’ll make plans & take steps. But you’ll always be looking over your shoulder. The knowledge of the cruelty of your own mind will keep you rigid.

Because lightening does strike twice & thrice & ever & on.

With every thump of your heart you know you’re only one more squeeze from disaster. Where little sleep becomes none. The crazy creeps out from behind all those positive walls, it brings terror & tsunamis of grief. 

And the pills don’t work

Or Dr’s 

Or the life jacket you had to make with your bare hands. 

There is only one way to row to shore & it’s brutal. It’s hot blood dripping from your fingers; slippy yellow fat & an uncontrollable urge to cut a little deeper. 

Bleed a little more 

Wrapping up the unthinkable pain in the easy hurt of butchering yourself. 

This illness is being  awake in the night & writing so you won’t do. It’s ignoring the destructive comfort because you so desperately want this new, real life. 

And, yes, all those yous should be I’s. 

It’s my past, my pain, my ongoing battle for a future. 


Listen, I’m a really perfect song.

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