I think it’s fair to say that 2019 has been a shit show. A political nightmare on a global scale. Environmentally disastrous & frankly a genuinely worrying time to be alive. My faith in humanity has taken a battering this year.
It hasn’t been an especially uplifting 12 months on the personal front either. There’s been loss, illness & a struggle for meaning. It has all felt a little pointless at various stages, but I made it. Here I am living & learning. Carrying on.
The year got off to a heartbreaking start, but there have been ups. I cemented a crucial relationship & extricated myself from one, which in hindsight, I hadn’t wanted to be in for quite a while. My people have proven once again how marvellous they are. Circling around when needed & letting me be when required.
There have been a few professional triumphs. I returned to public speaking (terrifying), embarked on a little social media consultation & posed for some excellent photographers. I produced writing I am proud of and my expanded audience significantly.
I applied myself to the task of enjoying life. It’s not always easy when dealing with chronic & mental illness; I’m pleased with my progress. My little ones continue to be of endless interest. I have immersed myself in the joy they bring as often as possible. I’ve allowed myself to enjoy time with someone lovely & undemanding. I even had some successful surgery.
Most importantly (I think), I have released myself from the need to know where I’m going. I always thought my biggest purpose was motherhood & letting go of that dream has been challenging. I felt bereft of meaning. It has taken time & wise counsel to discover that perhaps I don’t need all the answers right now. It’s ok to take some time to breathe & live. Hopefully other options will present themselves. In the meantime I can work on career goals and hopefully continue to squeeze maximum happiness out of life.
So, it’s true. Life goes on. I suppose that’s as true on a larger scale as it is personally. We can still strive to be the change. Sadly, it looks like there will be lots of opportunities to test the courage of our convictions. I hope we prove ourselves brave.
I know getting dressed up for your own living room on Xmas day is a blogger cliche, but I love it. I have always picked out something fancy for Christmas dinner and this year was no different. I did at least leave the house. I went all the way to my sister’s and I looked very festive.
It was the second outing for my lush new trousers. This time I was aiming for a fancier look. I plumped for a this lacy bodysuit & a deep red lip.
I added the elf hat for photos, which turned out to be a mistake as the boy wanted it on my head all day long. We all had a really lovely day. Presents & excitement galore for little people. Large glasses of fizz (& presents) for the big ones. My Sister was the perfect host, catering to all my fussy needs. I hope you all had an equally Merry Christmas.
Yesterday was apparently the hottest day of the year. Let me tell you, Glasgow is not set up for 30 degree heat. Selecting clothes that leave me a sweaty mess is getting harder every day. For yesterday’s day with my nephews I kept it pretty simple.
After reading some stories & making lots of mess with my bigger boy. I headed to the park to introduce the baba to my favourite her of highland cattle. I really love these cows and if course the little one did too.
I matched a 90’s inspired hankie hem with a simple black vest. I added a super light kimono for some colour.
Skirt – Primark
Kimono – ASOS Curve
Vest – Primark
Alas, I still melted. So much so that I had to knock up my own makeshift ice pack. Thankfully my factor 50 did its job and my skin remains almost see through.
Merry Christmas, Darlings. However you celebrate I hope it was Merry & Bright (or at the very least safe).
I spent Christmas Day with the Toyboy’s family and all the days round about with mine. We had two little ones enjoying their very first Xmas and four bigger kiddies getting all hyped up about Santa. It’s a cliche, but Christmas really is better with children around.
I received lots of pretty presents & indulged in many delicious vegan treats (thank TB’s Mum & Sis). Of course I got spruced up for Mr Claus. I always got a fancy Christmas Day outfit when I was a kid & I’ve kept the tradition going in adulthood. This year I went for full on Sexy Fat Ballerina.
Bodysuit – Boohoo
Skirt – Ella
A plus size full length tutu is not actually that easy to come by. I ordered one on a whim and then fell for the idea of being a fat arsed prima ballerina. Unfortunately the first one never arrived. The second took much hunting down, but all that internet searching was worth it. This is a LOOK.
My clever sister somehow managed to predict my Xmas colour scheme and gave me the perfect accessories as part of my gift.
Earrings & rings – Next
We’re now in that no man’s land between Xmas & Hogmanay. I intend to sleep lots, eat a tonne and cuddle little ones. I hope you have the opportunity to do the same.
Oh & Bronan loves his present. So much so that he barely moves off it. It’s a cat nip scratcher btw and god help anyone who even thinks of touching it.
I’m not a resolutions type of girl, but early this year I did have a stern word with myself about some things I wanted to get done this year. Some I had been procrastinating over and others that just seemed like a good idea. It’s time to take inventory.
Top of my list was making decor changes at home. Unfortunately I haven’t achieved all I had hoped. Life just gets in the way. In great and shitty ways. I have two new amazing little ones in my life, trying to expand my freelancing and a tonne of health issues have kept me busy. I have not managed the complete overhaul that I had imagined. However, I have updated the accessories and added some very cool pieces, like this amazing portrait & some delicious succulents. I reorganised and made better use of my space with some clever storage solutions. I also killed two birds with one stone & ticked off another from my 2018 to do list by creating a fabulous picture wall. I said I wanted to make photo albums with some of the thousands of pics I’m constantly snapping. I still intend to do that, but putting my most special moments up in the living has contributed to a revamp & got those lovely images into the real world.
I noted that I wanted to work on this here blog. Mostly behind the scenes stuff that I don’t take to naturally. Even the seemingly simple tech stuff is often baffling to me. I have kept to my word and streamlined the overall look. Plus I’ve brushed up on some of the boring blogger businessy do dah too. Mostly though I’ve really focused on increasing my content output; hopefully to good effect.
My third task is a total fail. I vowed to teach the Toyboy to swim. As of our last dip, about a month ago, he is still struggling to master a stationary float. He’s a very bad pupil and I am probably a terrible teacher. In his favour, he does still have the cutest arse.
The final chore I needed to get on top of was my washing basket. Maybe there are people out there who have no problem emptying that damn hamper, but I am certainly not one of them. I am just one person, but I man alive, do I produce a lot of washing. The TB’s habit of leaving his pants on my floor does not help. Anyway, I am proud to announce that I conquered the wash basket TWICE this year. Yup, you heard me it was completely empty twice. It’s not a perfect score, not I’m calling it a win!
On Saturday I had two parties to attend. One big event is enough to stress me out, so a 1st & 40th on the same Saturday had me more than a little worked up. I did actually manage to have fun & I think (hope) I pulled off two cool looks too.
First up was my best friend’s baby’s 1st birthday. I’m in still in shock that my tiny Madison is one already. I honestly feel like I’m living in fast forward. Anyway, she was an adorable birthday girl. Her party was incredibly cute & all the little people in attendance were a delight. Since it was a children’s event I went for a slightly whimsical outfit. All the colours & petticoat as a skirt was my choice.
Petticoat – Lindy Bop
Top – Asos
Cardi – Primark
I didn’t have much time to get organised for the next event. So, the plan was to change outfit, amp up the eye make up and reapply my lipstick. I somehow managed to create my dream grey glitter eye including winged liner. Unfortunately as it was a bit of a fluke it’s possible I’ll never recreate it. Thus, I intend to enjoy these pictures incase it never happens again. Clothes wise I settled on a dress I’ve had for years, but only worn once. The Toyboy thinks it looks like a gladiator dress & I’m very ok with that. I’m afraid I didn’t get a full length picture, but you can get a good look here. Another of my siblings turning 40 necessitated the drinking of many shots, which scuppered outfit photos. I did of course document my sexy smokey eyes & fun was had by all. Not least my big bro, who even took the dance floor.
Dress – Asos Curve
Shrug – Monsoon
Happy Birthday Kevin & Madison. Now I need the rest of the month off before I’m ready for the anniversary of my own birth.