I know you all love my cranky little rants. So, here go, part 3 of all the current trends I ain’t buying.
SHEIN
I get the appeal. They do produce lots of really cute clothes for a total steal. The obvious fast fashion issues aside Shein has another dirty habit. They steal. Specifically, designs from small brands. They are notorious for ripping off independent creators & massively undercutting the price point. A quick google will show you just how often they do this. This is beyond scummy. It seriously harms those small brands & I’m not supporting it.
Let’s stay on fashion, but stray into I just hate it territory. The return of early noughties style is not pleasing me. Every site is packed with ruched barely there shiny satin. I was around in 00’s and I knew then that this was fashion death. I do not understand the resurgence of the Paris Hilton X early days Girls Aloud look. Some looks need to be forgotten and this is definitely one of them.
PROLON
Next up will be no surprise. ProLon is the latest diet fad and it’s gross. Disappointingly this product keeps coming up in my socials. It claims to mimic a fast without actually having to fast. It consists of everything you’re supposed to eat for 5 days. Including soups, shakes, olives & kale crackers. In other words, hardly anything at all. ProLon makes all the usual quack claims; kick starts your metabolism, cleanses your system yada yada. It’s all the usual diet culture nonsense. Barely eating doesn’t clean out your system, whatever that’s even supposed to mean. Starvation diets damage your metabolism they don’t fix them. You may well lose weight eating soup & olives for 5 days, but you’ll put it right back on again as soon as you return to eating actual meals. Diets don’t work. Fasting is not healthy. Please don’t waste your money on this
Diet Nonsense
DISAPPEARING BIKINI BOTTOMS
I’ll finish on a lighter note with the laughably small bikini pants. These are back strong this summer. I’m not denying they look great, they really do. I just have one question, where do I put my vulvu? I don’t care how petite you are down there the minute you move that fabric is gone. Your lips are absolutely going to munch those tiny bikini bottoms. I’m convinced that some sort of glue is involved and I’m not here for it. Neither is my pandemic bush.
Does the glue come with purchase?
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Last week I headed north for a wee break by the sea. Our cottage was perfect. Exposed stone walls, cute nautical touches & the most beautiful view.
My nephew was along for the ride, so I needed cute unfussy clothes that allowed for much carry on. I also had to account for the crazy heatwave. First thing in my suitcase was this adorable skort that I’ve just bought. I’m not usually a shorts girl, but I really love the teenie skirt/short combo. It was ideal for early morning shenanigans with the rascal.
Skort – Simply Be Vest – Primark (men’s) Cardi – Handmade by my Mum Sandals – Pillow Slides Glasses – Where Light
For our trip to Stonehaven I opted for this polka dot dress. It’s super light and easy to wear. Whilst still offering coverage to prevent burning in the sun. The wind was blowing so you can’t see just how cute this dress is. You’ll have to trust me that it has a lovely shape. Oh & pockets!
Dress – Gift Glasses – Where Light
Finally for a blowy day at St Cyrus beach I opted for this trusty jumpsuit. Again, it’s super light and easy to wear. I added the cardi later in the afternoon when the wind got up. When I fancied a paddle I went old school & tucked my jumpsuit in my knickers!
Jumpsuit – Very
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If you’re going to wear glasses every day you might as well make a statement, right? Why make one when you can have a pair for every mood.
Yup, I’ve been ordering more specs. I couldn’t resist these shiny beauties. They come in a whole range of colours, it’s lucky I have a budget to stick to or I’d probably have bought them all.
I buy all my glasses from WhereLight and I really love them. They have frames of every description for excellent prices. If you fancy giving your face a new look you can use my code for 30% off.
I love supporting small business & independent makers. When I went on a little treat splurge last week I hit up some vendors I’ve been admiring on Instagram & I thought I’d share my treasures.
I’ve tried various symptom trackers and all have fallen short. Be they apps or physical products they never seem to grasp what I need. So, discovering a collection of trackers/planners designed by a person who is chronically ill themselves was a relief. These products give me the space to personalise & encompass all my varied symptoms. They also understand the kind of things I want to keep track of. Impractically Imperfect know all of that. Plus they get that I need it to be easy.
Impractically Imperfect
My little purple laptop has been needing a makeover for a while. I started with a couple of stickers I received as gifts with orders, but got waylayed. When I realised that one of my favourite pin makers was also doing stickers I got right on it.
My last treat is one of those practical things that is also beautiful. I am sick of digging around on my bag for my mask when I need to put it in. This colourful chain will put an end to that problem. Even better I can also stick it on my sunglasses to stop me losing them too. Does this mean I am an old lady? Probably, at least I’m ageing with style.
I still can’t quite believe it, but my baby sister got married on Saturday. It was a wonderful day. She made an absolutely beautiful bride and everything went perfectly to plan.
My sister will always be stunning, so I had no fears about her finding the perfect gown. I, on the other hand was at panic stations. I searched & searched, but couldn’t find anything that worked. Finally, I found this pretty little number. I’m not usually one for sparkles, but this dress captured my heart.
Dress – Dolly & Delicious Belt – Boohoo Kimono – Joanna Hope Sandals – Schuh Glasses – Where.light Make Up – Stefanie Ferry
I felt awesome in my swishy skirt & shiny accessories. I loved watching my little sister seal the deal with her person surrounded by the people she cares most about. I’m so proud of the cute wee pest who has become the most incredible woman. I can’t think of a better way to spend a Saturday.
For June’s charity donation I decided to give directly to people requiring support. These are some requests that came up in my social media time lines that tugged at my heart strings. There are too many people struggling to access too many essentials, so I know you are also see hundreds of deserving causes regularly. Please help if you can.
Food and essentials for Ex Foster Kids Children who age out the foster system often have very little or no support. You can donate to help provide essentials.
I hesitate to write that life is starting again because, well, we’ve been here before. I’m really hoping this time we really are on the road to recovery. In the meantime I will share pretty much every presentable look.
The relaxing of lockdown meant when we got rained out of the swing park we could continue the play date indoors. I wore an amazing linen dress that my excellent Mum found. The kiddies wore leggings that they managed to get dirty in 5 mins. Fun was had by all.
Dress – Zea Glasses – Where.light
The only thing cuter than me in this dress is of course these two little darlings.
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This week I have managed to leave the house twice AND look cute both times. That is an auspicious happening these days. It also means the return of the outfit posts. I can feel your excitement from here.
First outfit of the week was a forgotten dress. I think I got this from a thrift shop, I could definitely be wrong. In any case when I spied a corner of that print in the wardrobe I wanted it on. Super comfy, super curves, tiny bit too booby. It’s a solid A- dress and I won’t forget it again.
This dress saw me to my long awaited hair do. I haven’t stepped foot in a salon in 18months, so my locks were longing for a chop. With my raggedy ends gone & layers refreshed I feel like a new woman.
Dress number 2 hasn’t been out of the wardrobe for a while. It’s still a summer fav. Little bit ballet & a little 90s Gap adds up to a lot good. Always love wearing this one.
Dress – Forever21 Kimono – Boohoo
And apropos of nothing, if you get the chance to sprawl on a big swing in the sunshine, do it.
Shorts – Glamour
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I’m having a rough time. Everything is a bit of a struggle at the moment, so I’m going to do a wanky, hippie dippy post. Feel free to clock out because I’m about to deep dive into gratitude.
All the Basics
I have a safe, stable home. Food in the cupboards. Running water, central heating. Access to healthcare. A comfortable bed & wardrobe full of clothes. My basic necessities are taken care of and that’s more than a lot of people can say.
FaceTime
And WhatsApp, messenger, zoom & all the other clever doo dahs that allow me to keep in touch with folk. A friendly face or some carry on helps brighten my day.
Pillow Slides
Bought on a whim. Incredibly ugly, but oh so kind to my joints.
Aloe Vera
Aloe Vera is a genius plant. First & foremost it’s hard to kill. If you don’t have plant mum skills aloe is for you. It looks good, it adds oxygen to your room & it’s even easy to grow more from cuttings etc. Added bonus, our bodies love aloe. Need a moisturise, got sunburn, heat rash, a blister? Cut open a leaf and whap it straight on. Upset tummy, mouth ulcers, bad breath, ibs? Add a teaspoon to a glass of water. Wonder plant*
Temporary Solutions
I have a lot of issues with no permanent cure. Hence I have grown to appreciate a temporary solution. Diazepam is certainly not for long term use, but it bloody works for a day or two when your brain thinks the world is attacking you. Jane Austen will not fix my life, but she will soothe things for an hour or two. Whilst mint tea can’t cure my stomach disease, it can soothe the spasms attempting to eat lunch caused. They will return, but the minty goodness will buy me enough time to get home. Temporary solutions are various & abundant. Hugs, hot baths, sex, lidocaine patches, a big glass of wine… Moments of respite are better than none at all.
The Sea
Everything about the sea is soothing. The never ending expanse of it, the smell, the sound of the waves lapping. I always feel calmer by the shore. I can breathe deeper and see more clearly. Pretty lucky that I live on an island. The dazzling deep blue is never too far away.
Bronan
My lovely big loyal boy. Always gentle. My own living hot water bottle. An adorable wee tyrant who has me wrapped around his paw. Who doesn’t want to be awoken by a meowing creature in their face at the crack of dawn every morning?
Vincent D’Onforio
I like how brooding he is and that head moving to maintain eye contact thing he does on Law & Order. He seems like he’d be clumsily kind if you were feeling bad. He’s always despicable when he plays a baddy, which I like, no half measures. I get completely absorbed in the character when I watch him. I always believe it. Also, good name.
Summer Rain Showers
I like the ones that come on heavy, but run out of juice quickly. Summer rain smells good, it freshens everything up and gives me a good excuse not to hang the washing out.
Diet Coke
It is really bad for me, but it tastes soooo good. Big icy cold gulps. I don’t know how to quit you, Diet Coke.
Specs Appeal
Statement specs bring me joy. If I have to wear glasses every day they are going to be splendiferous. Big, colourful, can’t be missed face furniture is the only kind I will consider.
IanHislop
It’s very sexy when a person is that good at anything. He exudes the confidence of knowing he’s top of his game. He can slag off the bad guys with impunity because he leads a pretty decent life. He is cute and funny and incredibly smart. I’ve always been fairly sure that he has a huge, beautiful dick too.
Love
This might be where my sincerity gets too much for you. I care not. Life really wouldn’t be worth much without love. Giving or receiving, it’s wonderful. All those little thoughtful things a person does because they love you. Tiny gifts, texts, snapping a pic of something you’ll like. It all feels good. The warmth of knowing I’ve made someone smile or that they wanted to make me smile. Being able to comfort with your words or a cuddle. Sharing milestones & cups of tea. Love is the point, right? How can we not feel grateful if we have it.
Period Pants
A new thing for me and I like them. Wearing a pair to bed is so much better than using a tampon & worrying you might sleep too long. Likewise, so much better for those last days when you’re not quite sure if your period is actually finished or not. I can’t stand the feel of sanitary towels. Nor do I relish the sensation (or risk) of pulling dry cotton from my body. Period pants are a comfy godsend.
Choice
I’m so happy to live in a time (& place) of choice. So many aspects of my life offers abundant options. I can access almost any song in the world from my phone. Look up current affairs, trivia, what time the chemist closes by pressing a few buttons. I have films, shows, games, podcasts, strangers & friends at my finger tips. Whatever food I fancy can be delivered to my door. In theory I can pursue any career I’d like. I can vote how I choose. Do as I please with my body. Get married or not. Sleep with who I want. Wear what I like & go wherever I want (pandemic aside). Choice is not to be sniffed at.
Gardeners
Hallelujah for folk who will sort the garden in exchange for money. I am physically & constitutionally unsuited to maintaining outside spaces. I do however enjoy utilising them. I also like not stressing about ever encroaching weeds. I will never underestimate the peace securing a good gardener brings.
Little People
I have seven perfect niblings. My oldest niece is the smartest, coolest, kindest 11yr old you will ever meet. She will always be my little muffin, but she has grown into a person who makes me so proud. Then there are my brother’s boys who are his complete mini mes. His oldest is so patient & protective with his little brother. It is gorgeous to watch. My sister’s boy is half rascal pirate, half total love bug. He is a joy to be with. My bestie’s big girl is so cute & sassy. She may only be three, but that girl knows what she wants. Then there are her brand new little brother & sister. Newborn twins are a hand full but man alive are they adorable. I am so lucky to be part of their lives. Helping them become the people they want to be is an honour.
Disabled Ammenities
Parking spaces, toilets, seats right by the door on trains. I love them all. Anything that takes into account that every step hurts is a life saver. Extra space, bars to hold onto, not having to wait, all make my life immeasurably easier. Disability can rob you of dignity in so many ways. Things that allow me to navigate public spaces without being humbled are magnificent.
Sister Tik Toks
I love it when my sister and I send each other tik toks. I feel very seen when she sends me clips that make me laugh out loud or that relate to some shared experience. Having a sister is a lovely thing. Having a sister who gets you is even better.
Life has turned out to be harder than I had imagined. Amongst the struggle it helps me to acknowledge all the little & enormous things that make it worthwhile. I know it’s cheesy, but give it a whirl.
*Not a cure or medicine. Speak to your dr about any health concerns.
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Every now & again I realise that I kind of hate all the latest ‘must haves’. Summer 21 is definitely one of those moments. Thus, I invite you to join me as I trash all the things I really don’t want.
Big Collars
Everywhere I look folk are adding massive collars to everything they own. I can’t stand it. It’s twee in the worst possible way. They’re the ugly offspring of 80’s maternity & flower girl fashion. I feel especially nauseous when I see someone sporting a large doily style collar on a pastel knit. It has to stop. Please.
Nope
Pampas Grass
Is that even the correct name? It’s that awful fluffy stuff that keeps turning up in floral arrangements. Usually accompanied by weird dusky pink dried flowers. It’s another 80’s revival that we should have left to rot. The fluff gets everywhere, they always flop & there’s that urban legend about swinging. I’ll stick to fresh blooms, thanks.
Nope
Hankie Tops
I’m usually all for a 90’s throwback. It was a bloody good decade with some excellent fashion. Hankie tops, however, were awful then & even worse now. I still have nightmares about the lemon yellow gingham hankie top I struggled to keep my boobs in on a second date in 1998. I can’t forgive the pitiable piece of fabric masquerading as a garment.
Candlelit Concert
In theory, I actually love this idea. The first candlelit concert I saw advertised was Vivaldi’s Four Seasons in a beautiful theatre. I could see the appeal. It must have been a success because now there is a candle lit EVERYTHING. Abba, Disney, Daft Punk, ballet (is that safe?), songs of Barry Manilo! I’m out.
Bare Midriff Belt
I couldn’t tolerate Carrie Bradshaw belting her belly button. So, I’m definitely not going to find it charming this time around. Can’t we ever learn from our mistakes?
Nope & Nope
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Something in the way she moves... 
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