Easy ways to support your fat friends…

I think most people want to be loving & supportive of their friends. Whenever I discuss body positivity (online or in person) most decent straight sized people are mostly in favour of the theory. I’m often congratulated & told it is important to spread the message. I suspect these people would consider themselves supportive of their fat friends.

Whilst I agree that they are well intentioned & aim to be supportive I still hear the same complaints from the fat friends over & over. It can be really hard to address these face to face. So, here is a handy to guide to help thin folk support the fat people in their life. I’m starting with the basics; 5 easy steps that anyone can manage.

Don’t tell me you feel fat.

Fat is not a feeling. When you describe your feelings of inadequacy or unattractiveness as ‘feeling fat’, your opinions on fat are very clear. In addition please don’t complain about how fat you are when you are half my size. What I hear is that you think I am repulsive.

Don’t include me in your diet talk

Diets don’t work. That is scientific fact. Studies show time & again that almost every diet actually results in long term weight gain. I believe that diet talk is toxic. I can’t tell you what to do with your body, but please don’t involve me in it. I don’t want to know how many calories are in my or your meal. Keep your weight goals to yourself. Food has no moral value, you’re not being good when you order a salad. You can follow whatever regime you please without telling me about it.

Don’t expect me to always be ok with trawling around shops that don’t carry my size.

I can’t tell you how many shopping trips I have been on where there was no chance of me buying anything. I’m not even sure that most straight sized people are even aware of this. I’m not saying I’ll never help you pick out a new frock, but please try to be aware that it isn’t all that much fun for me. There are limits to how much time I want to spend sitting in waiting rooms holding your coat.

Don’t laugh at/make fat jokes.

Whether it’s a character in a film or a disparaging comment about that bitch you hate at work when you include their weight it stings. When you find Thor in a fat suit hilarious you’re laughing at my actual body. If you can’t criticise Trump without mentioning his weight you are telling me that him being fat is part of what you dislike about him.

Don’t comment on weight loss/gain

The aim of my body positivity is reach a point where body size is neutral. I would dearly love for my bulk or lack there of to just not matter. With that in mind, please don’t comment on my weight fluctuations. Weight loss is not inherently good. Any changes may be unintentional. They may not even be benign. The size of my person requires no discussion. In the same vein don’t expect me to congratulate or castigate anyone else’s weight change.

I know some readers will be thinking this is all very demanding. No doubt the, we can’t say anything anymore mob, will have lots to say about my suggestions. Remember, though, they are only suggestions. No one can stop you from saying anything you feel you must. I’m simply letting you know that when you do, it hurts. It comes down to respect. The choice is yours.

Here comes the weekend…

I needed a few days to recover from my getaway, thus had a very lazy end of the week. I was mostly lolling around in jammies. I was still knackered by Saturday morning, so had to adjust my plans, but fun was still had.

I kicked off the weekend with a bit of shopping & sushi with my wee sis. Of course the baba was also along for the ride. He got a little bored of the shopping portion of the day, sushi though, he loves. He can’t eat it yet, but chasing it along the conveyor is a very good game. I have a bit of a spending bug at the moment, so I treated myself to some little lovelies (stay tuned for details). We did a lot of cooing over baby clothes. Plus some admiring of all the Xmas decorations that have just hit the shops. Then closed the day with tea, cake & a snooze for the little man.

I hit the hay ridiculously early on Saturday night. Paired that with an incredibly slow start on Sunday & hey presto, I had collected enough spoons to venture out. We grabbed a late lunch before indulging in lots of local talent at Yellow Movement Sunday. It’s a cool event held on the 2nd Sunday of every month. If you fancy an eclectic jam session & unique live acts, check it out.

It was a perfect autumnal day. The sun was bright, but the air chilly. Just the right weather for slipping on some velvet. This dress is an old favourite. I always feel foxy in it.

Dress – Pink Clove

Belt – ASOS Curve

Musical interlude complete it was time to head home & get my Jim jams back on. Having a good time is exhausting.

I’d call that a bargain…

On Wednesday I was passing Primark & nipped in for a glass nail file. I’m sure you can all guess what happened next. Thus, I bring to you my mini haul. 

I did head straight to the cosmetics section fully intending to buy the nail file & leave. Unfortunately I spotted some pretty shinies & my will power wavered. These metallic stickers jumped right into my basket. Apparently they’re for your face, but I suspect mine will end up on my nails or a notebook or a phone case or who cares, they’re pretty! 

In keeping with the coppery theme , I lurched towards this beauty. 


For the uninformed it’s correct name is a comedone extracter. In simple terms it pops out blackheads. Gross, but also, essential. 

My magpie eye then lured towards this concealer/brightener. I’m usually a touché eclait girl, but have just run out & need a stop gap until my bank account has recovered from Christmas. I’ve read surprisingly good reviews about this & as it costs £3 I have nothing to lose. At worst I’m going to look less flawless for a week or two. I can deal. 

Having grabbed some beauty bargains I was again to determined to go immediately to the till, but the placement of super soft basics foiled me again. So, multiple bright leggings & cute jumper later I’ve given into Primark’s cheap seduction. 


This time the sports wear has caught my eye. Don’t laugh, it’s the crop top/sports bra type things that appeal. I’ve actually been hunting for a style that offers both comfort & support for a while. Many expensive brands have come up wanting; it’s down to the fast fashion queen to save the day. These £4 offerings are perfect. Hold the girls up & feel lovely. Just right for my more painful days. Bonus is the bright colours. I bought a bundle. 

Feeling rather pleased with myself I joined the check out queue before the heat in there killed me (seriously, why so hot?). Of course it is impossible to get to the actual till without impulse buying face wipes, screen wipes, hair bobbles & glittery nail polish. Primark, you’re sneaky & you know it. 

I wear t-shirts…

These days weekends are for wedding shopping. This Saturday that took me to Edinburgh. There was entirely too much trekking around, but also some magic moments. I’d rule it a win. 

I was hoping for a dressy vs sloppy look. I got a little scissor happy on this t shirt as the neck line felt restrictive. I rather liked result. I am fond of contrasts & clashes so I’m pleased with this outfit. 

I was frazzled by the time these photographs were taken which may account for my lean up against a phone book pose. My hair do had also given up by this point & been benched with a bobble. Basically, I’ve looked better; hey ho.


Skirt – Glad Rags

T-Shirt – H&M

Kimono – Primark

Incidentally this skirt is the one I picked up at the Glad Rags fashion show for the insanely cheap price of £3.95. Try not to stampede them in your search for a similar bargain. 


After watching my Sis & I getting out pose on Mum decided to get in on the action. 

I want to be rainbow high…

On Saturday I had the pleasure of going wedding dress shopping with my beautiful sister. Bil & Mum were also in toe to admire & offer opinions. 

Wedding dress shopping is rather nice. The troublesome part is my sister looks stunning in just about every dress. Plus as soon as a veil appears I start bubbling. Luckily all spectators were in sync with regards to which dresses were contenders. The bride to be decided there is still more shopping to be done.

So, what did I wear to whitest enviroment in the world? All the colours, of course. I’ve had this rainbow delight for a couple of weeks & have been dying to get it on. It’s a super comfy maxi with the cutest crochet top. 

Dress – Simply Be

Cardi – Primark
The colours & the crochet make it feel very summery. Alas, Autumn appears to be upon us in Glasgow, but this will definitely be going in my Australia suitcase, which is in need of cool day dresses.

After shopping we had some lunch in a cosy/cool pub where Bil & I couldn’t resist messing around with the mirrors. 

Here comes the sun…..

I don’t want to jinx it, but I think spring might finally have sprung. It was a crisp, fresh day in Glasgow, so I dug out some floral print & headed into town to do some shopping with my sister. I love this dress. The bands of floral pattern is unusual & the colours are so cheerful. It’s the kind of dress that makes me smile.

20140308-192838.jpg    20140308-192858.jpg

Jacket – Monsoon                                         Dress – ASOS Curve

Brogues – Primark
I paired it with this chunky belt to make the most of my plus size hour glass. i finished the look off with my beloved brogues. They are incredibly comfortable & also pretty damn cute.

20140308-192919.jpg                                20140308-192933.jpg

Belt – Primark                                                   Bag – Market
I was also sporting this peace necklace, my talented little sister made this & it is so me.

20140308-192944.jpg

We had lovely wee day visiting a pop up shop in Prince’s sq. The designers didn’t have anything for fatties, but my sister got a stunning Rebecca Torres dress. I was super impressed with how friendly & helpful everyone was. It was a really nice shopping experience.

After puzzling over a levitating street performer we refuelled with some sushi & gab. A yummy end to a delightful day.

My sister blogs at livinginaboxx

Here comes the sun The Beatles