Mother Glasgow…

This month I’ve chosen a charity close to my heart. Refuweegee is an organisation that uses the famous warmth & generosity of Glaswegians to support refugees. Their tag line ‘we’re all fae somewhere’ perfectly sums up why we should offer a helping hand to anyone who requires it.

You can donate to Refuweegee in a number of ways, a direct monetary contribution or you can put together a welcome pack. Refugees often arrive in Glasgow with very little & some basics to combat a new life in a new climate are indispensable. Add some Scottish treats & a handwritten welcome letter to complete your pack. Full details of suggested donations below.

Refuweegee welcome pack suggestions

Refuweegee are also currently in desperate need of toiletries. As I’m sure you can imagine hygiene basics are paramount for anyone. If you can donate any of the following they would be gratefully accepted.

Refuweegee toilet bag appeal

As we near Xmas lots of folk are giving more thought to charitable giving. I hope you will consider a gift to this wonderful organisation. No one knows what the future holds or when we might need the kindness of strangers ourselves. Humanity doesn’t stop at borders, our generosity shouldn’t either.

Smiling children with text we’re all fae somewhere

Portrait of me…

Last week I received a package that thrilled me. I commissioned a portrait from the incredibly talented Spunk Rock Star. She is an artist I discovered on Instagram & can not get enough of.

My portrait is, of course wonderful. I selected a picture of myself from a few summers ago. I had spent the day on the most beautiful beach with special people and felt completely content. Helen (aka spunk rock) totally captured that serenity. I can’t wait to get it framed & find it a perfect spot to live.

ly h Kerr
The original photograph

Having a stunning portrait of myself feels very decadent. I can’t recommend it enough. If you want to take my advice, Helen will not disappoint. She also creates super sexy kink art, which I just love. Her Etsy has great sales regularly, you can pick up originals, prints & even these very cool pins. The very best way to support independent artists is to buy their work. I think for a long time I was a little intimidated by the idea of commissioning art, but I am so glad I got over that. I’ve bought some brilliant & unique pieces from artists (mostly found on insta) this year. I definitely intend to continue because it’s doubly satisfying; you get an exceptional hand crafted item & you know you supported someone in doing the thing they love. It’s a good feeling!

ly h Kerr by Helen Aninety
Perfect portrait.

Treat me right…

I had a few hours to kill on Tuesday. Well, I was actually putting off going home & doing the housework. In any case I ended up with an accidental mini haul.  

I have had a bit of scent anxiety of late as I was down to my last bottle of Issey. I am a very loyal when it comes to perfume. I’ve been wearing Issey Miyake since I was a teenager. It is my smell & I love it. So, when I saw this summer edition of Issey on sale I couldn’t resist. It is my familiar floral scent with a hint of rose. The pink bottle is pretty too.

I saw this unicorn bag & had to have it. Not only is it very cute, but I needed it for all my purchases. The next of which was these very cool little lenses for my phone camera. I have only had a wee play with them so far, but I’m really liking the results. This set includes a fish eye, macro & wide angle lens. They come with a handy clip, so it’s incredibly easy to whip them on & off of my phone. Look out for improved pictures. The toy boy was at a festival last weekend & brought me home those amazing wooden beads. He is so good at picking little treats for me, I love them. 


I wanted to return the favour with a wee surprise for him. I searched for ages before finding this dancing baby Groot. We both love Guardians of the Galaxy & who can resist a wee Groot. In the same shop I spotted this amazing cup that allows you to make your own slushies. I am so excited about this because now I can make frozen Coke! Long time readers will know that I fell in love with frozen Coke in Australia & have been pining for it ever since. I can now be reunited with my one true love. 


My final stop was Superdrug to pick up some skincare treats. I really love these 7th Heaven face masks. The are completely vegan & cruelty free with the bonus of leaving my skin feeling great. Obviously I aim to be beautiful top to toe so these foot mask booties are ideal. Everyone  loves soft tootsies, right? They are of course also cruelty free. 


Black seaweed mask was both effective & very enjoyable. 

Don’t patronise me…

I’m struggling to sleep tonight. My  pain got a little out of control last week & so my dr upped one of my pain meds. It was quite a big leap & my body hasn’t been behaving since.  My mood hasn’t really been behaving either. It took a dive earlier in the week for, I imagine, a combination of reasons. Perhaps feeling so bizarre, or the pain or an upcoming anniversary. Who can say?

On account of the above there have been days when even getting out of bed has been difficult. Yesterday was one those days, everything hurt & I was very foggy from the meds, but things had to be done. Bronan had to be fed. I had to return some important calls & I had to put my bin out to be emptied.  Dragging myself out of bed was a struggle, but I did it. So, up I got, flung on whatever clothes were lying on the bedroom floor, brushed my teeth & completed those tasks as best as I could. I did these not because they would lift my mood. Nor did I do them as part of an ‘action plan’. I didn’t derive any sense of achievement. They needed to be done, so I did them.


Later, I tried to write, but couldn’t concentrate for more than a minute or two. It occurred to me that I hadn’t eaten all day & perhaps something in my stomach might counteract the effect of my medications. My fridge contained some broccoli that had to be used today or it would only be fit for the bin. So, I steamed that broccoli in the micro, poured some boiling water on noodles & flung soy sauce over both. I didn’t cook because it would make me feel that I was worth taking care of. I simply used the ingredients available to feed myself in the quickest manner because otherwise, I would not eat.

I tell you these things not because they are interesting. I certainly don’t mention them because I want applause. I merely draw your attention to these mundane activities as they are the reality of day to day life.
THEY ARE NOT SELF CARE.
Mental health organisations & increasingly, just anyone are constantly spouting the merits of self-care. I am so tired of hearing this bullshit. Everything I do does not have a therapeutic purpose. Mental illness (or for that matter physical) does not define me. I am a single woman living alone. There are always tasks that need taken care of. I take each day as it comes & do as much as I can manage. That’s just survival. In that respect I am no different from anyone else. Obviously my illness can make simple jobs difficult. Things the average person may take for granted come harder to me. That doesn’t change the nature of life. I either keep living to the best of my ability or I lie down and die.

To label each chore or treat self-care is to rob me of my basic humanity. I am no longer a person, but a collection of diagnoses’. Illness becomes my defining feature. I strenuously reject that characterisation. To measure my wellbeing by how many dishes are in my sink is insulting. Similarly, to minimise serious conditions by suggesting a nice dinner will make it all better is also offensive. A cute badge with a star & I took my meds or A childish phrase is not going to brighten my day. 

I live my life as fully as possibly. I enjoy whatever I can and try my best to endure the rest. Doesn’t that sum up most people’s experience? I don’t hear anyone congratulating ‘non-mentals’ or ‘non-spoonies ‘ for continuing to exist, so why are they patronising me?

If my thoughts on this offend you, then just imagine how I feel when several times each day I am confronted with the cult of self care. If it works for you, cool, you do you. However, don’t suggest I have a bath with candles to get over terrifying flashbacks. Don’t tell me to give myself a wee treat to combat searing pain. Most of all don’t belittle me by suggesting my daily drive to survive is ‘self care’. Keep it to yourself, darling or prepare for my wrath.