Body positivity

Keeping up with the misogyny…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 3 Comments

Last night I watched Keeping up with the Kardashians. Someone asked me to write a thing & I thought I could include the Kardashians in the piece. Full disclosure I’ve never really followed them. I’d seen the show a few times with my sis in law & obviously know snippets from the pop culture dominance. I’ve never had strong opinions about them. Their popularity confused me, but I thought them ultimately begnin. Now, I’m not so sure. 

It may sound dramatic, but I found it pretty disturbing. In the episode Kim & a bunch of people, including her sister’s ex Scott, travel to Dubai. The whole episode centres on how heartbroken the ex is as that the  sister has moved. He’s even relapsed  into drinking because he’s discovered that Kourtney is seeing someone else. It all seems fine, everyone  is sympathetic of his feelings & concerned about his wellbeing. Then it gets really weird. 

Kim & shit load of people turn up Scott’s hotel room. Someone spots a handbag & they all decide to go trawling around looking for it’s owner. Scott, looks terrified, which is bizarre. After all he’s a single adult, surely he can have whoever he wants in his hotel room? 

Anyway, the whole troupe complete their search & discover the bathroom door is locked. At which point Kim starts acting like crazy wronged wife. She screams about ‘scaring the fuck’ out the unknown woman. Then, with her whole gang watching she forces the bathroom door open & unleashes a tirade of abuse. She humiliates, bullies & slut shames another woman for the crime of spending the night with a single man. She calls her a tramp & a whore. The bit that disturbed me most is she’s loving it. You can see she is enjoying abusing this person. It’s horrible. Oh & none of the ten ish other people intervene. They all just watch this happen. 

It’s a really nasty display of someone using their power to attack someone in a weaker position. Why did she need such a big audience (& a camera crew) to confront this women? Why does she even think she has a right to say anything in the first place? 

Kim has railed against people slut shaming her for her sex tape, naked selfies etc, but relishes tearing into this stranger with the same kind of language. It’s toxic. 

The whole incident had a very sinister feel to it. Not least the scared man who allows it happen. It’s very creepy that he didn’t just ask them all to leave, right? Even weirder that her friends don’t tell her to stop. Seriously, would you watch your friend do that?

In summation they spend their trip talking about how not together Scott & Kourtney are. They celebrate her healthy decision to move on. Then they collectively lose it when the 100% single guy has a girl in his room. Kim searches someone else’s hotel room, forces her way into a locked room & viciously harasses someone for maybe having consensual sex. Let’s face it, that’s really cunty behaviour. That’s before you even figure in how intimated you’d have to be to hide/ask someone to hide in the first place. 

This is not my idea of entertainment. It’s just abuse caught on camera. For all Kim’s talk of female empowerment & body autonomy this is sheer misogyny. It worries me that hoardes of young women & girls look up to this family.   I’m watching & hoping for a backlash. This bullshit is not ok. 

Woman of the Week…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 2 Comments

This week’s marvellous female specimen is Ruby Tandoh. I actually came pretty late to Ruby party, but I intend to make up for lost time. Ruby is the no bullshit baker we all need in our lives. 


Ms Tandoh obviously came to public attention on The Great British Bake Off. She didn’t win the show, but she was excellent in every way. Every single one of her 5 million facial expressions were endearing & I totally related to her stressing. It goes without saying that she made some tasty shit, but the best was still to come. 

It wasn’t until I found her on twitter that her true glory was revealed. Ruby is a kick arse intersectional feminist. She tweets about important matters from LGBTQ issues, fat phobia & ableism to popular culture & politics with the kind of blunt clarity I admire. She calls out the sell out tactics of other chefs who jump on the healthy eating bandwagon. All the while writing joyfully about food (& various other things) in her Guardian column & books.

Ruby had no fear in taking on the big names. She has been savage in her take down of Jamie Oliver & clean eating quacks Ella Mills & The Hemsleys. She skillyfully disects the dangers of healthy eating fads whilst highlighting why they are so problematic. 


Her recent contribution to Do what you want, a zine about mental well being has pushed her even further in my estimations. The zine includes a variety of pieces on all aspects of mental health. It covers perhaps less talked about issues like accessing treatment as non binary person & mental well being from a refugee stand point. This all round excellent publication also donates all of profits to mental health charities. I believe it is now sold out, but check the website for details. 

Ruby Tandoh seems to be that rare thing of a ‘celeb’ who puts her money where her mouth is. Her feminism is inclusive of the groups so often exclude from mainstream white feminism; sex workers, non binary people, POC, fat women, the disabled & so on. Her life seems to genuinely reflect her spunky public persona. This is a woman worthy of our respect. 

If all that wasn’t enough she is hilarious. We’re talking about the chick who refused to work with Piers Morgan by calling him ‘sentient ham’. Oh & she wasn’t fucking sorry about it. 


Can we have a standing ovation for Ruby?

A week (ish) in pictures…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 4 Comments

It’s been more like 3 weeks & they haven’t been the most productive. I finally painted my nails today & I have some appointments set up this week for oPeration BoPo. Life goes on & so do I. So, there will be more exciting & uplifting posts coming soon. For now, here’s a wee photographic glimpse at my quiet days. 


Bright days, escapist movies & lunches with my sis have been soothing.


Spring flowers & spring cleaning (it still counts if you pay someone to do it, right?) have helped with that starting over feeling. Pretty skys, my pretty cat & effective drugs have also done their thing.


Easter treats, thrifting, lazy days & random sights have helped to ward away the deep blues. My puss cat in both snuggle & grump mode is a tonic. Oh & look at my nephew’s face; it doesn’t get more life affirming than that. 




Rest, dancing light in my home & the beauty of my own fat arse have given me a boost this weekend.  I’m hoping it will carry me through the week.

After all, as Scarlett O’Hara would say, tomorrow is another day. 

Splish, splash…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 2 Comments

Recently I have been spending my Sunday mornings watching my nephew’s swimming classes. He’s 11mths old, so there is more splashing than anything else, but he’s fun to watch. Afterwards I get a little cuddle time, which is even nicer.

Last time I took the opportunity to get some outfit pictures. You might remember this dress from my wish list. I really loved it’s cut out back & I can never have too many skater dresses. It was actually in the sale, so I went ahead & bought it in red too.


The weather was lovely when I left the house. Alas, by the time we’d made it to river for photos, it was blowing a gale. The wind was ice cold & my discomfort is written all over my face. I’m not miserable just really cold.



Dress – Asos Curve

Scarf – Gift

I highly recommend the dress (the red is equally nice), wearing it by the freezing Clyde perhaps not the best location though.

Oh & this little monkey loves Auntie ly’s style.

Spring wish list…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 1 Comment

I’ve seen a lot of spring capsule wardrobe posts. Fuss free & minimal seems to be a big trend this season. Eh, not for me.  

I don’t think I’ve ever been a minimalist anything, but my fashion especially has always been a free for all. My brother used to mock me for seemingly attempting to wear all my clothes at once (layers have long been my friend) & the toy boy currently finds great mirth in my colour combinations. My style is just whatever takes my fancy & this is very much reflected in the mish mash of pieces I am currently drooling over.

Asos is my go to. It’s always the first site I check when I need (want) something new. Their curve range rarely lets me down. This season I’m loving the unusual shapes, frills that I’d actually wear & pops colour. It really pleases me how easy to wear it all looks. I can imagine just throwing on any of these items & feeling comfortable all day long. You’re ticking all my boxes again, Asos. 


I suppose hippie chick & alien metallics aren’t the most obvious bed fellows, but the heart wants what it wants. I’ve never seen a bell sleeve that I didn’t want & as far as I’m concerned the shinier my legs the better. So, thank you Pink Clove. 

My Boohoo picks are in a similar vein. Camisoles with jangly coins & slouchy maxis make my hippie soul sing. Meanwhile corset belts & harnesses bang my sexy bitch drum. I’m fickle & it seems the cyber high street is too. Just one complaint about boohoo, if it’s plus size, I want to see it on a plus size body please.

Lindy Bop is an absolute dream. Stunning retro style fashion that won’t bankrupt me & actually fits. I would probably happily buy their entire website. Given my not unlimited budget, I’d settle on these beauties. 


Tropical prints are a big yes & Forever 21 is on point with their tropical offerings. Their variations on classic black leggings & skater skirts are also pretty fucking cool. I really miss the branch we used to have in town. If you’re listening Forever 21, Glasgow wants you back. 

Friday Favourites…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 1 Comment

My first new love is a phone case. I can’t actually remember buying it, but I’m glad I did. I must have had spree at some point because cases keep arriving. Either that or I have a phone case benefactor, which seems unlikely. Anyway, this cheeky little cat is both cute & a fairly accurate protraysal of feline attitude. It makes me smile. 

This week I have also been enjoying a blast from the past in the form of Tales of the City. I haven’t read any of this series since I was in high school, but stumbled across the whole set in a charity shop & couldn’t resist. Maupin’s tales remain as charming if less shocking to my adult self. 70’s San Francisco is always a hit with me. 


My Pow necklace is another thrifting find. I nipped over to Glad Rags to check out their refit & I was delighted I did. This pop art esq pendant is going to add some fun to even the dullest of outfits. Just goes to show that second hand is not second best.


Finally, my top tune this week is Take That’s Giants. I’ll be honest I wasn’t expecting great things from their new album. Despite my long time love of Take That they have become increasingly problematic. The tax thing, losing another member & of course the fact that Barlow is big dirty Tory are all serious impediments. Regardless, I’m a sucker for Gary’s soaring love anthems & Giants doesn’t disappoint. I kind of hate myself, but I still love Take That. 

Oh & I did a little dog sitting this week. Try your very hardest not to fall in love with Ringo, my very favourite boxer. 

That girl is strange no question…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 7 Comments

It temporarily spring in Glasgow. I say it’s temporary as rain is forecast from 2pm tomorrow until always & forever. Nevertheless it was a beautiful weekend. Unfortunately I missed every second of it because I have been the most nauseous person on the planet. When the sun came out again today, I felt it necessary to capture at least a few blessed rays. Thus despite feeling yuck, I ventured out. 

I’ll be honest though, I didn’t go far. A quick stop at a local park followed by sushi & film was my big adventure. I tried out this new shirt dress & was pleased with both it’s cuteness & comfort. Comfort is a big thing for me at the moment, given that my body has stopped believing in my right to it. 


Dress – Alice & You

The dress was a success, the rest of the night, not so much. The only film showing at the right time was Beauty  & the Beast; it’s shite. Trust me, you don’t need a longer review. Oh & the sushi didn’t even stay in my stomach until the end of the film. You know your film is bad when you’re not even worried about what you’re  missing mid vom. 


I know, my face looks grim in these pics, but look how cute my nails are. 

Leader of the pack…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 4 Comments

Winter is long Scotland. Too bloody long most of the time, which is especially frustrating when you are dying to wear something that requires a little less nip in the air. So, a wee hint of sun last weekend was exactly what I was after.

I immediately whipped out this perfect biker jacket. You may recall I searched in vain for exactly this for a year or two. As is often the case it fell into my lap once I’d quit looking.


Jacket – JD Williams*

It’s a beautiful cruelty free replica of a classic biker. You can expect to see me wearing it with everything.

Last week I went for this red retro ish skater I found at JD Williams. They weren’t on my radar, but it turns out they do loads plus size brands & their own PS line. I know red & green should never be seen, but bollocks to that. I like the combo. Plus it gave me a chance to don my favourite badge.


Dress – Simply Be*

Leggings -Boohoo

Badge – Blackheart Creatives

Necklace – Mango (thrifted)

Scarf – Gift

I took my beloved biker to see Logan with the toy boy. He chose the film, so I got to take him some where vegan for dinner. I can highly recommend The Flying Duck’s cheese burger (the wolverines weren’t bad either).

*Items were gifted, but opinions remain my own.

Let’s talk it over…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 3 Comments

Chronic illness is a bitch. The pain, the uncertainty & incapacitating symptoms are all a daily battle. Oh, but there is so much more. More that isn’t really talked about outside of spoonie circles & I thought it was about time that changed.

Obviously chronic illness covers a huge range of conditions & everyone’s experience is different. Thus I talk from my own personal view point with some input from fellow spoonies. Here are some of tricky issues that we’re quietly dealing with.

Travel

I mean any & all travel. From trying to get a bus to a hospital appointment to trying to cross the globe. The world is not spoonie friendly. 


Have you ever sat in those seats at the front of the bus that are meant to be reserved for ‘elderly & infirm’. I’m sure you tell yourself it’s fine because you’ll move if someone needs them, right? Well, you can’t always tell by looking that someone needs that seat. Having to explain yourself & ask a stranger to move is not easy. Thus I have collapsed on buses, cried from pain & just had to get off because I couldn’t stand any longer or make it to a seat further back. Which is a pretty good good analogy for trying to get about with disabilities. It can be hard as fuck without anyone noticing. 

Being chronically ill means planing every single outing in detail. Working out if you can manage to get to a bus stop or from a station to the place you’re actually going. Thinking ahead about stairs & where toilets are. Planning when you’ll need to eat, if you’ll be able to eat & how meds will work around that. Worrying about queues & how slow you move & often you’re going to have to sit down. 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve not participated in something I wanted to because the logistics were just beyond me. 

Relationships

Whatever your illness there will always have to be that early days conversation about what exactly is wrong with you. In my case I have scars to explain & a whole bunch of fairly scary details to talk about. In the beginning I thought that would be the hardest bit, but it so isn’t.
The worst part is all the normal things that are so much more complicated for me. I am completely aware that sometimes I’m no fun. I say no more often than most people. I have many (too many?) limitations. I’ve adapted to that, but I never know if others will. 

It’s scary & stressful to try someone new. They might well get fed up accommodating me. Every time I say I can’t make a social event or have to admit that I don’t fell well, I worry. Maybe this is the point they’ll decide a spoonie girl friend is just not worth it. The truth is, I wouldn’t actually blame someone for having those thoughts. After all, life is for living .

That’s the real kicker, it’s not a problem that can be resolved. Wanting to live a life that I’m not fit enough for doesn’t make anyone a bad person. It’s just another thing I (we) get to think about when I can’t sleep. 

Side Effects

Sometimes the treatments are worse than the illness. Almost every medication I take produces a side effect that impacts on my life. In fact I take medications to help with the side effects of my medications. I’ve taken drugs that have made me vomit, itch, gain weight, lose weight, have double vision, dizzy spells, palpitations, acne, the list goes on. 


Every treatment one is offered comes with a list of possible side effects. Chronic illness is a constant balancing act. How much relief will I get from my symptoms & will it be worth the new problems it will cause? 

I often illustrate this problem like this.

Severe anaemia can cause itchy skin & angina. 

A blood transfusion & opioids can treat these complaints.

Guess what a major side effect of both transfusion & opiates is, yup, really itchy skin. 

Welcome to the conundrum of chronic illness. What cures me might well kill me to. Fun!

Money

Hardly anyone likes to talk publicly about their finances. It’s awkward & it’s private. I hate talking about money, but honestly with regards to disabilities, someone has to. Having any kind of disability almost always screws you financially. What work you can do is limited. Employers will silently discriminate against you & the current  government will loudly throw you to the sharks. All the while ones disabilities will incur extra costs at every turn. In terms of cold hard cash, illness will cost you. Lots. 


The Embarrasment Factor

Never underestimate the power of embarrassment. All of the things I’ve discussed here can make a person feel really small. Be it feeling red faced about a misbehaving stomach or the facing soul destroying humiliation of having to justify your right to be alive at an ATOS assessment. Humility is a lesson spoonies learn over & over. 


Imagine how you felt the last time you farted somewhere you wish you hadn’t & the feeling of falling over on a crowded street & having to talk to a dr about a really cringey complaint & admitting you’ve failed at something important & having to tell the world that you need help with things everyone else can do. Now imagine coping with some combination of all the above every day. Welcome to my world. 

My body, my choice…

~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 6 Comments

I spent my Saturday shouting at holy people in rain. Not just for kicks, but because the religious anti-abortion group 40 Days of Light are again spending lent protesting choice outside a Glasgow hospital. As you can imagine, I find such actions repugnant & wanted to join the counter demo. 


4o Days of light began their Lenten campaign with a sparsely attended event in George sq. They sought to attribute their protests to a desire to spread truth & offer choice. Yes, they’re actually trying to sell their aggressive tactics as supporting of choice. The little of the speeches that could be heard above the chanting of my fellow pro choice protesters consisted of lies, religious indoctrination & the kind of emotional manipulation expected from such groups. 


Glasgow is a progressive city & it disturbs me to see these extreme conservative tactics taking hold here. This is 4o Days’seconds year protesting outside the new southern general hospital in govan. They plan to hold 8hr ‘vigils’ on each day of lent. The hospital has no power to prevent the protest as they will happen directly outside hospital grounds. They will however no doubt add distress to those attending the hospital as well as generally interfering with the daily business of the enormous hospital. 

On Saturday I was sickened to hear a speaker talk of her fond memories of last year’s protest. Apparently, she delighted in harassing vulnerable people in a difficult situation. This revelation was followed by woman railing against a ‘pro abortion society that coerces woman into terminating pregnancies’ before moving onto tired and irrelevant tales of how she felt whilst pregnant. The event ended with an attempt to say a decade of the rosary, which I am pleased to say was drowned out by chants of my body, my choice. 


I can’t state strongly enough how much we must fight this move towards a campaign of lies & shame. The only humane & just option is choice. Pregnant individuals must be allowed safe & legal abortions. They must also be offered support to access such services. Please join me in letting 40 days of light know that there is no place for their harassment or lies in our civilised society. 

Check for details here.