The mirror has two faces…

Yesterday I performed a fairly miraculous transformation. I was so impressed with myself that I felt the need to share my handy work. 

I posted the above on Facebook with the caption, left to right & out the door in 40 mins. All of which is true, but there’s so much more I didn’t say. 

What I didn’t mention was how I felt. My head was wobbly yesterday. I am titrating Pregabalin slowly up to recommended dose. This is an issue because every time I up the doseage the side effects come back. Hence, my brain was not that sharp. Along with that my anxiety was troubling me. The thought of going out alone was frightening. I was of course sore; my back & feet are a constant source of pain at the moment. So, basically what I’m saying is the first picture is an accurate representation of how I felt as well as how I looked. 

I worried and procastinated for so long that I only had 40 mins to get ready. I forced myself out the door with the aid of diazepam, earphones & big sunglasses. I still felt exposed. I dreaded anyone talking to me or even getting standing too close. I got lucky with an almost entirely empty bus, but my heart was still pounding as loud as the music in my ears for the entire journey. At every stop I had to force myself not to get off & go home. Every bump in road sent a shudder of pain up my back. I persisted because I’d really like to have a real life. 


I met a dear friend who I feel completely safe with. We had a drinks & I managed to relax to level where I could enjoy myself. The weather was lovely, the company excellent & I passed for an attractive human being. 

I’m smiling in this picture because I was having a lovely time. I was still in pain. I’m always in pain. I say that not for pity, but as a fact. For my one evening’s entertainment I’ll probably require two days of rest. Today I am suffering. 


My point is that invisible illnesses are often attacked as not genuine & the weapon used can be anything sufferers manage to do. 

You can’t be that ill if you can work.

You can’t be so ill if you can go out.

You can’t be in pain if you excerise.

You can’t be depressed if you can put make up on.

And on & on & on.

I’m offering myself as an example. Some days are good, but I never feel ‘normal’. There is always pain & anxiety. There are nightmares & flashbacks & urges to butcher my flesh. There are days when I can’t get out of bed & nights of no sleep at all. It’s shit to have to push & push to accomplish everything. We (spoonies) have no alternative, if we want to build a fulfilling life, we have to fight. Wether we’re fighting to wash some dishes or to have some fun with friends we don’t need judgmental bullshit to add to our burden. 
Your reward for reading me venting my frustrations is the cutest cat in the world.

My week (ish) in pictures…

When I reviewed my recent pics it seemed that I have been mostly taking selfies, so get ready to see a lot of me. I have also been galavanting to the beach, petting poodles & admiring my city. There have been rough days & some sparkly days. 

Project Post it is still going strong. I have even had some feedback from folks who’ve found them, which is amazing. My patents are getting into the selfie game, I am both amused & proud. I had an incredibly constructive appointment at the Homeopathic Hospital; spoonies if you have access to alternative medicine go for it. 



Aidan got some longed for bawbags. We will be checking out the Merchant City Festival tomorrow. Watch out for that post. We got Bilbob out in the sun & believe me that is no easy feat. Bronan & I watched some Netflix docs in bed and I have been trying to wear more of my plethora of costume jewellery.


Finding the yumiest vegan snacks is my latest quest. My fav so far is Cleo’s peanut butter cups. Finally, my highlight, plenty of gorgeous nibbling time. Athena has now lost all her front teeth & continuous to be hilarious. Baby Kevin is thriving. He is my beautiful Superbaby. 

Day after day…

If, like me you read a lot of blogs, you might wonder from time to time what bloggers look like in their down time. I follow lots of woman who look utterly amazing in their blog shoots. Whilst I’m usually a more low key chick, I thought I’d give you a wee glimpse at a day to day me.

My eyes are closed in about 80% of pictures taken of me. I have to pose for a startling amount before I actually look alive and awake.



Who you gonna call? probably not me as i’m creeped out by the supernatural.

This is my ‘it’s too hot for my ginger self and I may well melt entirely’ look.


German beer wench/pretzel lover.

Bronan often appears not because he takes an interest in what I wear, but because that’s his favourite snoozing spot.

Waterfall cardi proving it’s versatility as part of super comfy outfits.

Fill me up Buttercup…

Reader, I have been lax. I have been getting used to my new medication (Pregabalin), which is no easy feat. As a result I have done very little worth blogging about. So, I thought I’d share my wee sideline. 

I have been making flower crowns for about a year. Not prolificly, just when the mood takes me. I started because I couldn’t find a crown that suited the picture I had in my head. I found I enjoyed it & made a few more for myself. Then I discovered the real fun; I made a crown for my niece. I love making flower crowns for children. I can add all sorts of trinkets & surprises. I can tailor then to each little person’s favourite things & I get to crack open the glitter. 

Without further ado, a few of my creations.

  
  
  
When my wooden mask isn’t in the mood to model, my darling Bronan steps in.

  

Tomorrow I plan to get my culture on. I will try my hardest to dress up nice & take interesting pictures. 

Sweet Charity….

One of my favourite things is finding one off or limited pieces. If I can unearth them for pennies, even better.   

It was therefore swell to find this adorable bag in a random wee shop. It stocked the strangest selection of items, but amongst them was this little gem. 

  
I have a feeling it may be the most perfect bag ever made. All those colours, the embroidery & pom poms! I was helpless when faced with those pom poms; I had to take this little one home. In addition to its obvious beauty it has a cross body strap that actually fits over my boobs & despite its diminutive appearance it holds all my essentials. 

  

I have long hankered after a cameo brooch, but my search has proved elusive. That is, until today, when I stumbled upon this perfect specimen. The lavender tones are so unusual & I am completely taken with the art noveauish quality of the girl’s hair. Not bad for 50p. It’s amazing what you can discover if you shuffle through a basket of plastic crap in a charity shop. 

  

And if I needed confirmation that my trawling skills were on point, Bronan gave it. This is the face of a cat who wants my brooch. 

  

My week in pictures…

 

It’s been a fairly rough week filled with more Dr’s than I would have liked. There were some amusing moments & cool snaps, hence I am sharing my hospital expoilts.

It all started last Monday with a pain in my lower back. By Tuesday it had spread around my side & all over the right side of my stomach. The pain had intensified to such an extent that I had to see my gp. Dr suspected possible upper uti infection, but wanted to rule out pancreatitis,so off to the hospital I was sent. Not, however, before I had to pee in a tiny bottle & was given two injections in my bum. One was for pain, which had no effect. There other for nausea, which was entirely counter productive as shortly after leaving the surgery I began impressively vomiting. 

I founf myself waiting to be assessed in hospital. For some reason I was surrounded by babies & their parents watching me repeatedly throw up into those horrid little cardboard hats. Once again it’s a round of peeing in various receptacles & being prodded by numerous medical personal. The result being I was admitted with probable kidney infection.

After another two injections in my arse (their is no dignity in being ill) my behind was now feeling a little tender & turning some vibrant colours. My nurse was unable to get any blood despite trying both arms & hands. A Dr was then summoned to attempt to draw blood. Much to my embarrassment the Dr who arrived is already known to me. I had a fling with him many years before. So, I find myself lying in a hospital gown, groaning whilst a very attractive surgeon who has seen me naked pokes me with needles. Only I could end up in the medical care of an old shag.

  
Anyway, blood is finally collected & kidney infection confirmed. I stay in hospital for a further day 1/2 for Iv  anti biotics & pain relief. On Thursday I walk free & consider my ordeal over.

I spent the rest of the week pacing around as kidney pain is worse at rest. I tried my best to rest & even ventured out with my sis at the weekend. We were treated to perfect spring weather. It felt good to be out in the fresh air surrounded by new blooms. 

  

  
As this week began all felt well. I was still a little tender, but otherwise much better. I probably over did it catching up with house work & errands on Monday. Meaning that by dinner time I was exhausted & needed to have a nap. And, that’s the last thing I remember until I came round on the hall floor in dark. My face hurt & I was very confused, but otherwise unharmed. My first instinct was just to go to bed, but after consultation with my sister I realised I had to return to hospital. Que scans, X-rays & a night of observation. Luckily I only have a mild concussion and a bashed up nose. I had no encounters with long lost lovers and I pray I have reached my hospital limit for quite a while. 

  
Oh & my squinty nose is real sexy. 

Oh, I do like to be beside the seaside….

I took a little trip to see my friend & her lovely boy on Friday. She lives in Musselburgh, which is a seaside town outside Edinburgh. I love any excuse to get close to the sea & Lisa (and James) is a fabulous reason to go anywhere.

  
It was chilly & wet when I set off so I employed my new beret to keep my head warm. I don’t wear many hats as I don’t usually look great in them. Thus, I was surprised to discover that berets are totally my thing. 

  
I was also chuffed with the new dress I donned. I’ve had my eye on this for ages and finally snapped it up in the sale a few weeks ago. The cat print is purrfect & the colour matches my eyes. 

  
Dress – Voodoo Vixen

Cardigan – Monsoon

Beret – House of Bruar (gift)

I really love the neckline on this dress. The fit is superb & the large pockets are a dream. 

I can only share the mirror selfie as I had so much fun with my east coast chums that I forget to get any pictures. However, I did remember to snap some photos of our escapades. 

  
(That feline beauty is Bronan’s sister, Mena)

My week (ish) in pictures…

I have been having a lazy, slouchy time of it clothes wise. As such I haven’t snapped too many outfit pics. That doesn’t mean I haven’t been galavanting. It seems a shame not to share some of the moments I’ve captured solely because I didn’t look glam that day. So, here we are, embarking on another week in pictures post. I hope you enjoy a wee nosey into my going ons.

I know a lot of folk find them tacky, but I loves me a mirror selfie. I snap one any time I feel cute or sometimes even when I look amusingly rough. Sushi & Ringo are also always wins.

  
  
I can’t recommend Jonathann Coe enough. If you are new to him I’d start with The Rotters Club & it’s follow up The Closed Circle. Once you have digested those melancholy triumphs, mosey on to this mysterious tale.

  
Drinks with Aidan, hotels with neon stags & my amazing little crazy face pulling niece are all things that bring me glee. 

   
If you haven’t tried Lush’s Intergalactic bath bomb, you need to. Not only does it turn your bath into a blue bliss, but your skin continues to sparkle for hours. Strawberry gloss at Krispy Kreme are also a big hit. 

   
Sometime’s you have to be prepared to do battle. Sabre tooth Tigers will step right out of line if you don’t show them who’s boss. 

  

Pink, it’s not even a question….

It feels like forever since I have done an outfit post. I keep wearing my funkiest looks when I have no photographer. Anyway, here’s a cosy wee number I put together for a walk with my sister & Seb. 

  
This skirt & t shirt are bargains from a recent haul. The ‘sorry, not sorry’ print amuses me & woolly skirts keep my bum warm; what’s not to love?

I also discovered that if you feel a bit dodgy pink lipstick will go a long way in perking you up. This bright hue is from Nyx, whose products I am fast falling for.  

 
  
T-Shirt – Primark

Skirt – Primark

I actually can’t stop wearing this skirt. It’s just so perfect for this time of year. So, here’s a sneaky wee selfie of another look. 

  
How cute am I?