The Fear…

May 2, 2022May 3, 2022 ~ somethinginthewayshemoves

I planned a really lovely weekend. I was going to visit a friend I haven’t seen since pre pandemic. She lives by sea and always makes me giggle like a maniac. I was so looking forward to it, but my body had other ideas.

ly is in a hospital bed wearing a face mask and hospital gown. She has leads attached to her chest

On Friday evening my chest pain got really bad. Then I had a fainting spell. As soon as I managed to get on my feet I would faint again. Sitting on my hall floor with my head spinning and heart pounding I felt scared.

I wasn’t scared of one particular thing; the fear was in the uncertainty. Not knowing how bad this is. Not even knowing what exactly this is or if it will ever go away. I have felt so fragile and vulnerable in these last few months. I haven’t been able to trust my body at all.

I have gotten used to my body failing me, but this has been on a whole new level. Every time I stand up my head spins and my whole body tingles. I can’t catch my breath, I don’t know if I will be able to stay on my feet. I have always prized my self sufficiency and it feels as though it has been slipping away.

My weekend in hospital hasn’t changed anything. Drs gathered some more information, but they couldn’t solve the problem. I await appointments with specialist consultants. Hopefully they can get to root of my long covid complications. The truth is I don’t even want to consider living like this permanently. It’s just too terrifying to think about.

For the moment I am happy to be home with my furry little nurse. I’m trying to rest and not stress about all the things that I am not getting done.

Black cat snuggling on blankets being petted

If you enjoy my writing you can support me on Ko-Fi.

Charity of the month…

March 29, 2021December 1, 2022 ~ somethinginthewayshemoves

It’s been another weird lockdown month & i’m only just catching up with myself. I’m getting round to my charity of the month at the last minute (again).

For March I have chosen to support the PDSA. As animal lover I’ve always thought the PDSA do excellent work, but recent months have shown me just how essential they can be. Bronan, my cat, was diagnosed with Diabetes about 8wks ago & man alive are those vet bills adding up.

PDSA in green & pink letters. Help a vet help a pet in green letters

I’m lucky to have pet insurance, even with what I thought was a comprehensive policy, there is so much that isn’t covered. It’s really highlighted just how much an ill pet can cost. With insulin, needles, sharps disposal, regular blood tests & examinations I can easily see how it could quickly become unaffordable. I am so glad the PDSA are able to step in for those in financial need. I can’t imagine being forced to make treatment decisions for a much loved pet based purely on finances. Given covid & all its implications so many more people are likely to be in this position. Hence, the PDSA are feeling the strain. Please give whatever you can spare.

Black & white cat sleeping on purple sofa

Since we’re talking about my beautiful boy I’m want to share the symptoms that first raised the alarm. The problems he had were fairly minor & I would never in a million years of thought they indicated such a serious issue. The first thing I noticed was him limping on his back right leg. Next he began to go outside much less & was just not quite himself. My first though was that he had injured himself. When he didn’t improve after a couple of days I thought perhaps it was wear & tear on his joints. I consulted my vet mainly thinking he needed some pain relief. I am so glad I acted quickly. The longer it takes to diagnose diabetes the more damage can be done. So, here are some signs to look out for.

Limping, unsteadiness particularly in hind legs.

Increased appetite & thirst.

Issues passes urine/ unusual toilet behaviours.

Sleeping more often than usual.

Confusion.

Take care of your four legged friends & if you can make a donation to help the PDSA look after lots more.

January girl…

January 11, 2020 ~ somethinginthewayshemoves

January is turning into quite a challenge on both physical & mental health fronts. Mood dips at this time of year are predictable, but this feels like it’s edging towards more than that. Thus, I am doing the sensible thing & taking a rest.

I’ll be still be sharing other people’s cool stuff & perhaps bits from the archives. There’ll be a pause on new content. If you begin to miss me, you can find me here & here.

The dog days are done…

November 10, 2018November 10, 2018 ~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 1 Comment

It’s been a rough couple of weeks. Extra illness, extra stress & very little sleep have taken a toll. My mood has taken a nose dive. I’m battling a fairly substantial wave of anxiety & the urge to just hole up at home.

I am fighting, though. One of the things keeping me going is how far I’ve come. These lows will probably always hit, but it helps to know things are not as bad as they once were. On days like this reading my own dark words shine a tiny light through today’s depressive fog.

The blood jet is poetry, ly h Kerr

I’m hoping some sleep & resolving some of the stress inducers will alleviate this bout of blue. In the mean time I’ll be digging deep in my chest of resources to keep myself focused on the light.

Bronan Kerr

Rest assured this boy is always looking after me.

The ghouls all came…

October 30, 2017October 31, 2017 ~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 2 Comments

Happy Halloween! Everything about this season is a win. Dressing up ✔️scary films✔️pumpkin fun✔️ an excuse to eat all the monkey nuts ✔️ What’s not to love?

I kicked off my Halloween hijinks with a little Greek mythology. My amazing sis in law’s sister (surely their should best word for that rejstionship) sent me this Medusa headdress all the way from oz & thus a costume was born. On Saturday night I got all greened up & headed to a party. I was accompanied by my troll doll sister & the TB in the creepiest Trump mask in the world. I was so impressed with the costumes at the party, people really went all out. I of course forgot to snap pics of most of the costumes, but folk were really smart & funny.

Next on the spooky agenda is a scary film on the big screen. Cineworld are showing The Shining tonight & I cannot wait. I’ve only seen it once & my sis has never seen it. We’re both prone to screaming at the jumpy bits, so it’s bound to be an eventful night. My excitement has spilled onto my nails, which may have gotten a tiny bit themed.

Last, but not least, it wouldn’t be Halloween with about a pumpkin. I have no spoons for all the mess of carving, so I got a bit creative with some paint. I’ll be out tonight, but I’m sure the kids will be happy to help themselves to some treats. Bronan approves of the reduced door knocking.

Day after day…

June 30, 2016June 30, 2016 ~ somethinginthewayshemoves ~ 5 Comments

If, like me you read a lot of blogs, you might wonder from time to time what bloggers look like in their down time. I follow lots of woman who look utterly amazing in their blog shoots. Whilst I’m usually a more low key chick, I thought I’d give you a wee glimpse at a day to day me.