I feel like throwing my hands up in the air…

I have been catching up with And just like that & I’m having a lot of feelings. I know, I know, it’s a tv show. These people aren’t real. Except, they kind of are. A little bit.

S&TC caught me at just the right time. I started watching right before leaving home & starting uni. I continued through 18 to 24, prime discovering yourself, life & love years. I re-watched again & again, Carrie & the gals my trusted companions. It hasn’t all aged well, there’s some really dodgy shit. Plus sometime I don’t even like them; Carrie could be truly toxic things. But, I still love them. There was nothing else talking about the kind of female sexuality I was exploring in the late 90’s. There were little bits of myself & my friends in all of the fab four. I could relate to their sexual & romantic adventures. I knew the unbreakable bond of female friendship. Carrie was a writer with a penchant for the older man for goodness sake. Then of course it was all so much more glamorous than my life. They were running around Manhattan in Manolos, whilst I could barely afford Malboro lights & rent on my dodgy student flats. We were both hiding our broken hearts in a haze of smoke & high heels, though. Fantasy wrapped up in just enough reality to capture my heart.

So, I loved them. I felt like I knew them inside out. Both the characters & the all the fragments of real people I saw in them. I have twenty odd years invested in these tv people. That’s crying on the sofa, drinking cocktails with the girls, hungover Sundays, hours of explaining to stupid boyfriends why Aidan wasn’t right & so much more. I want them to be happy. Real life is perilous on the happy ending front, but when last we saw Carrie & Co is was as close to a fairy tale as you get in NYC.

Miranda, Carrie, Charlotte & Samantha in coats walking in the street

I awaited this re boot with trepidation. There was never any chance of me not partaking, but I was worried. I feared they’d mess it all up. Successful drama needs conflict and I didn’t want my middle aged babes involved in any of that. They almost killed me with that first episode. I was always rooting for Big, even when he was a total fuckwit. I wanted Carrie & John to grow old together in harmony. Given what we found out about Chris Noth, it’s just as well they killed him off (but I can still mourn the character, right?). We also had Samantha’s absence to deal with. That empty chair at the restaurant. Those flowers at the funeral. It’s heartbreaking. I’m 41 now, I know those female bonds aren’t always so indestructible, but this is fantasy. Samantha would never have had such a silly huff. Two hard blows right from the kick off. The rest are good. I can take it.

Then comes Che and all bets are off. All of sudden I’m supposed to believe that Steve can’t make Miranda cum? The Steve that knew how to get her off from night one? They make him some lame guy who can’t finger his wife. Now Miranda is running off to surprise Che, who will almost certainly be screwing someone else when she gets there. I don’t want this. I want my loyal cynical Miranda with her sweet, loving Steve. I’m taking this betrayal personally.

That’s before I even touch on how they handled Stanford’s exit. Carrie going on dates or that hideous new apartment. Thank god for Charlotte & Harry. I hope. I may be a bit more jaded and lot less likely to fall head over heels, but I can’t take it if all those happily ever afters fall apart. Make believe is supposed to offer some escapism. Will no one think of the ageing romantics?

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I’ll be there for you…

I’ve had a hard week. Pain is hitting a consistent 7/10, I’m getting hardly any sleep & of course I have tonnes of stuff to do. So, when I had a free afternoon I really wanted to be still & rest. Alas, my pesky little sister really wanted to go to FriendsFest. She was so right, it was awesome.

The 90’s was my decade & Friends was the ultimate must see tv in those days. Stepping onto the actual sets of the famous apartments was really cool. All the other Friends themed attractions were spot on & tonnes of fun.

ly h Kerr FriendsFest

All the details were perfect & messing around with the interactive scenes was amazing.

Friends set

My sis was the perfect person to visit with as we spent a lot time watching Friends together when we both still living at home. We used to play a game where we’d give each other a random topic & we had to come up with a Friends related quote. Now that I’ve written it down that story looks kind of tragic, but we did cool stuff too.

Pivot, Vegas wedding, meat trifle

You probably shouldn’t marry your sister, but if you do try to have a sister who makes the ugly wedding dresses look cute.

FriendsFest was a blast. I felt like I was half dead & I managed to have great time. If that’s not a rave review then I don’t know what it. Oh & yes, I did look cute. A swing dress plus red lippy is the quickest way I know to take yourself from drab to fancy.

ly h Kerr, Lindy Boply h Kerr rainbow petticoat

Dress – Lindy Bop

Rainbow Petticoat – Lindy Bop

Necklace – Fuck the Tories.

Don’t even try to tell me you wouldn’t watch this show.

ly h Kerr, opening credits

Cold water surrounds me now…

I’m having one of those days when my emotions feel like they might sink me. It’s like all the feelings I usually keep in check have escaped & flooded the room. It’s hard to breathe or concentrate on anything other than keeping my head above water.

Luckily, I’m a strong swimmer. I know the worst thing one can do when in rough waters is panic. I need to take deep breaths whenever possible & focus on getting to dry land. All of which means sunday hit me a little harder than I expected. Mother’s Day always gives me pause, but this time last year I was pregnant. Now, here I am, still childless. Still trying not to lose hope. It does feel hopeless at times. When all the hurt & negativity bubbles up it is hard to see a point. What am I doing? Where is life taking me?

That is when I have to reach for reason. I must force myself to get sickeningly, happy clappy. In short, I count blessings. There are many & if it doesn’t make you cringe too much, I’m going to share a few.

Love. I have love in my life.

I have many beautiful little people.

Potatoes. Boiled, roasted, chipped, baked, in scones! A world with potatoes can not be all bad.

I have a very big & very comfortable bed.

And someone I like rolling around in it with.

I’m smart. I’m funny. I’m pretty fucking tough.

I was lucky enough to be born in a place that offers me safety.

I adopted the very best puss cat.

I have access to quality healthcare.

I got to be young in the 90’s.

I’ve seen the sunset on a beach in Corfu, cuddled a koala in Brisbane, watched fireworks from castle ramparts in St Malo, walked in The Beatles footsteps in Hamburg, ice skated in a snowing Central Park, got so wasted I lost one shoe in Amsterdam & so much more.

I have sung beloved babies to sleep.

Watched them take first steps & their personalities unfold.

I have a roof over my head.

Food in my belly.

Some really cool shoes.

And plenty to look forward to.

I don’t have everything, but what I do have adds up to enough. Life goes on. Life is good.

I’m gonna be manicured…

I love a good manicure, so I’m pleased to say my nails have been on fire of late. Since, I’ve returned to top nail form it’s only natural that I show them off.

Voila!


I’ve had all the stripes. 


All the orangey tones. 


Help from Mr Moo.


Complicated, shoe matching New York skylines & super simple French polish with a twist. 

I always feel much more me when my nails are looking good. I am by no means a professional, but I love creating my own unique nail art. It’s so much easier than people think. All you need is some nail brushes, nail drying spray & your own imagination. I mess mine up all the time, but it only takes a minute to whip it off. Plus, no matter what is adorning my fingers, my little man is always happy to snooze on them. 

Now you’re in New York…

A large package arrived by special delivery today. As I wasn’t expecting anything I signed quickly; eager to rip it open. One tear of the packaging revealed a thing of beauty. 


Someone utterly wonderful got their hands on my absolute favourite thing. A rare pair of Irregular Choice. I have wanted these particular shoes for years, but have never been able to get my hands on a pair. Behold, the wonder shoes.



They are perfect. Their perfection is only slightly marred by me pushing my swollen feet into them. When my tootsies & ankles return to their regular size I’ll give them a proper debut. In the mean time I’ll just keep peering into the box to admire my NYC babies. 

And they’ll come true, impossible not to do…

I was inspired by my darling sister’s 35 before 35 post to get some goals down in black & white. However, as I’m only 3 months from the mid 30’s point I had to raise the age bar. So, here it is, the 40 things I really must get done before I enter middle age.

1 Finish my tattoo collection. I have three more designs that need to get out of my head & onto my body. 

2 Develop my stigma fighting business plan.

3 Have babies.

4 Take a ride in a hot air balloon. 

  
5 Learn to drive. Yes, I am a 34yr old woman who is terrified of driving.

6 Buy all the Irregular Choice shoes.

  
7 Rescue animals from factory farming.

8 Perform in a burlesque show. Chorus line would cool.

9 Visit Jenna in Philadelphia.

10 Master Japenese cooking. I need to know I can have yasai gyoza whenever I feel the urge.

11 Visit Tagalooma with Athena.

12 Adopt a retired greyhound.

13 Lots & lots of surface piercings.

14 Execute the cutest pregnancy announcement ever.

15 Cook Xmas dinner for my entire family.

16 Take a break in one of those beach huts on stilts in the ocean. 

  
17 Write for Skorch.

18 Mix my own perfume. 

19 Teach Billy to swim properly.

20 Get a book deal.

21 Check out those big heads on Easter Island.

22 Send the perfect family xmas cards. 

23 Make Danilo go on the big romantic xmas wheel. 

  
25 Perfect one ballroom dance & trot it out at every single occasion.

26 Take a romantic break in a Scottish castle.

27 Learn Sign language.

28 Fall utterly in love with more nieces & nephews. Get to it, siblings!

29 Get a professional portrait painted of my beautiful Bronan. 

  
30 Rock the Big Apple with my girls.

31 Find miraculous cure for all my health issues. 

32 Take my little ones to Disney World.

33 See Morrissey live.

34 Finish Athena’s books before she gets too old for them.

35 Try synchronised swimming. 

36 Finally see Much Ado About Nothing performed at Bard in the Botanics. 

37 Send random mystery flowers to folk who would appreciate them. 

  
38 Learn to code (at least well enough to snazz my blog).

39 Take my Mum to Austria to do the Sound of Music tour. 

40 Be the best Mummy ever!

Any advice or suggestions on who to achieve my goals is most welcome. Wish my luck.