I’ve been trying to keep low key busy today; house work, catching up on emails & so on. I have hoped to keep myself from sinking too deep into sadness.
I’ve actually done quite well. I had a cry in the shower, but the water washed those tears away. There was no evidence left for anyone else to see, which is like you. Gone. Without a trace.
So, I’ve taken a lot of deep breaths & whispered to myself that I’m ok.
And I am. More so than I’ve ever been since I lost you. I think maybe I can try again. Perhaps, I can do this life thing. I wish I could believe that would heal me, but you’re not a wound. The pain is bittersweet.
I’ve been wondering what my life would be like with a 16yr old. Louder, grumpier, more complicated? I’ll never know how our life would been. I do know I’d have given you my best. I’m also sure that you’re worth it. The short time I held you within me will always be worth all the rest.
Now, you’ve got me crying again. My tears are inevitable, as is my love. Inevitable & invincible. No matter what happens there will forever be you & I.
7 thoughts on “You & I…”
Life is not fucking fair, you would have been a great mum – and still will be one day!!
I can relate to this, and I so hope that your life is filled with peace and joy.
Same to you. Xx
I love you and I’m coming to see you soon and shower you with cuddles!!!!!!!!
I can’t wait!
I’m so sorry, I can’t even begin to imagine what this must feel like. All I can do is offer a huge telepathic hug. x
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